I, too, have spent way too much money on edibles that do nothing to me. It is Very frustrating, though I'm lucky enough to be able to smoke - and I find it helps my depression, anxiety, and a sleep disorder. I've been through a long list of drugs in my quest to "feel better." Long story short, I took a gene sight test through my mental health provider and found out that I metabolize a lot of medications differently (for example... Most antidepressants make me extremely psychotic/suicidal). I figure that's why edibles aren't effective for me, and why smoking wakes me up. Idk if that helps at all, but maybe something to keep in mind if you have consistent bad results with medication. Regarding cocaine...I understand it's appeal. I've been there and done that and it was great in the moment, but totally not worth all of the negative that came with it. I really don't recommend it (especially if you are looking for pain relief and relaxation in addition to the energy boost- you will feel lik

E complete sh!t the moment it leaves your system and for at least a day after). I recommend looking into micro dosing. It can be done with lsd or mushrooms and it was a game changer for me.

I wouldn't even know where to get the stuff for microdosing but I have heard that it's great for some people. I worry about doing any kind of lsd product most out of fear of getting sick. I'm someone who only want to do things that made me happier. I will never understand heroin. Short of just wanting oblivion, I've never been a fan of wanting to be completely down or immobile. I think that's why the idea of coke appeals to me because it gives you energy and focus, even logically knowing what it will do to you afterward. I would probably never do it but I wish there was a legit drug I could do (although prescription drugs are sometimes even worse).

I'd like to try a lot of things but I just have this aversion to going to a doctor about my mental health. I don't know why. But I haven't even been to a regular doctor in over 10 years. I'd like to get some energy and I'm just so tired of being told to 'exercise'. That's just not working for me. I just end up more tired and even trying to exercise sometimes is a struggle. I thought pot would help to mellow me out- I'm high strung and anxious all the time. It didn't do anything. So now I would just be happy if I could get a boost of energy so that I *could* exercise. I don't know if I need anti-depressants or what but I feel like I can't focus on anything anymore. Or I end up hyper focused on one thing. I shouldn't be looking for advice on bored panda I just need to go to a doctor. I just like to hear from people who maybe feel the same way. If I was younger, I could easily find someone to try different drugs. Now...it's a doctor or nothing, lol.

It sounds like you are in a rough spot. I'm really sorry you are going through this. I understand the aversion to going to a doctor, but still wanting to feel better. Maybe you could look into some options that don't require a physical visit/appointment? I am currently seeing my therapist via telehealth (video calls) from my phone or computer. I thought I wouldn't like it, but I think it actually helps me open up without feeling as vulnerable. I think there are apps that link you up to drs in this manner, though I'm not sure how they work. There are also mental health apps that link you to peers for support. Maybe starting out with one of these would help?

I just realized I misread that and you said 'mail' not mall. Either way that would be pretty awesome. lol.