Sign me up NOW

That's just golden 😎🥳

Wait you mean I'm actually supposed to hear voices?

2020 me be like 💀

Have you a moment to talk about our lord and savior Odin?

Life will never be complete without Lowly Worm.

I respect this man.

*squinting* why is the weighted blanket falling onto the floor already it's 3 AM

I felt this deep down

It's alright, he's with the NYCD.

If anybody deserves a drink is teachers and nurses. Flourishing the minds of soon to be adults and saving lives for c**p pay, long hours and all the c**p they have to put up with.

lol slick

Nuhuh... Even more fun, it's discontinued.

Holding one red rose.

This can be a service too: the delux package has multiple mystery morners, who know him through his 'other' work, and are courteous, dignified, well dressed, and say almost nothing, but express their condolances to the family, and make vague comments "He was a great man, I was honoured to work with him." "An immense loss to us all" "It was a privilage to know him." "What he did for us will never be forgotten." "He gave so much, to so many." "A terrible, terrible loss, such a tragedy"

At my funeral I want a closed casket and for the organist to play the jack in the box music, starting slowly and intensifying in pace...

And please have them speak with Italian accent

maybe putting a mask on would make it more intense

I'd hire out to be the one.

Oh, please! A clown with a knife is much better!!!!

Get them to hold their watch to their mouth and say, just loud enough to be heard “it’s done”

By Panic at the Disco

It has to be a woman. Wearing a sheer veil and holding a single red rose.

I maybe dead by then but I'll ghost with ya!

This is epic cool.

I love when people repost someone else’s brilliant wit in a less effective and grammatically flawed manner 😏

I'm in!

My friend and I have agreed to do this for whoever goes first.

This!

Ooooohhhh I like that!!!

Oh I love it!

Wednesday vibes

Ok

My brothers planning on doing this, he wants it to seem like he was in the mafia or somthing

I gotcha dude

Me too, but just to make it more fun, I do it by simply slowing down, not hitting the break. Less aggressive but just as irritating, and in today's America, no need to p**s someone off, they may have a gun.

Your wife is amazing….lol

Why isn’t this higher

Never thought of this

Dogs sigh when they're content and relaxed.

And 92 tiny odd socks because tiny human socks just disappear into the void.

I mean - that joke edit is *supposed* to turn names vulgar, that's the whole *point*, but... good grief, this is a vulgarity jackpot, it's like that name was *made* to have this joke applied to it...

You got me!

I just up voted a brilliant comment on BP then discovered it was mine

I only consider my dog naked when he doesn't have his collar on. I chase him around with the collar demanding he put his clothes back on.

Ennui? That is literally ennui you are describing.

n o

Jogging with someone who is visually impaired maybe?

You are a Bad Girl -- but I'm still laughing!

God Pete Davidson is an a**hole, but at least he targets the right people.