One doesn't normally drop the "questioning the marriage" bomb out of nowhere, even in a flash of anger. And it's pretty hard to get that toothpaste back in the tube once it's out. Assuming OP just said something really stupid in anger, she still needs do a lot of work to figure out why she snapped at her husband who did absolutely nothing wrong but be himself and try to include her. (Maybe he's a bit clueless, and couldn't take polite "no thanks" cues, but even so her reaction was pretty needlessly nuclear.) While she works on herself, she needs to give her husband time to reengage on his own timeline. We don't get to hurt people then demand they accept our apology and move on. We can only show good faith atonement and be patient in the hope that things can be eventually discussed and moved past.

"Not one scar on my heart came from my enemy. They all came from people who said they loved me." I really felt that.

At least she knows she messed up. And to be fair, they’re both very young, we all say stupid things when we haven’t had time to mature and grow as people. Even when we are older, we can still inadvertently hurt the people we love. Although attacks on people’s characters, and blaming anger are a bit much, she does seem genuinely remorseful.

I often wonder when people say that another is on the spectrum if they are just making that sh!t up - do you have a diagnosis or is their arrogant ignorant way of saying he has quirks. Because I think for the majority it is a bullsh!t diagnosis and that is degrading and damaging to those on the spectrum, or have adhd, or ocd.

Why does she even love this guy? Seriously. She just tore him a new one head to toe, so what is it you want? You just tried to drive him away, now you want him to stay. Which is it?

"Words once spoken are like eggs once broken". OP isn't fit to be with someone on the spectrum and has poor emotional control, it would be right for him to leave her, I couldn't look the same way at my partner after they sh*t all over everything that makes up my personality and interests.

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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You ARE the AH. You knew what he was like all this time + you explode on him? Don't be surprised if he divorces you + finds someone more understanding.

Happy divorce! You are doomed and don't deserve him. Why do you want to go on with this marriage, you don't like anything about him (apart his money maybe, Lego stuff is not cheap).

As someone on the spectrum, this broke my heart into pieces because I'm like the husband and have had jabs at things i loved or used to do and could never touch them again after the comments. My partner now is the most incredible person who accepts anything and everything from me and sometimes even encourages my stupid little loves. But im ALWAYS paranoid he will one day say something about how annoying i am or my hobbies are stupid (he wont) but history has made me fearful. This poor guy, he will never be able to be the same, everything (and literally everyone) he loved has become undesirable and hes gonna lose part of himself :'(

As an introvert I hate it when folks assume I’m on the spectrum.’ I’m not. Also introverts tend to be slow to anger, but once angered, slow to forgive. Get counseling, but assume you’ve destroyed your relationship and marriage

OP messed up BIG TIME. You should be able to trust your spouse to not hurt you and she betrayed that trust in a major way. If someone I loved talked to me that way... I don't think I could forgive it. What OP's husband does at this point is obviously up to him, but she shouldn't be surprised if he divorces her. She deserves it

"l said things l didn't mean" if you don't mean them don't.say.them. I'm so tired of people who can't control their impulses and expect grace afterwards

There have been no more comments by OP

"slightly on the spectrum" not how that works. You're either on it or you're not. It's like pregnancy, you're not "slightly pregnant" you either are or you aren't.

I have to ask, what would you do had this been the other way around? The anger, the degrading comments, the rejection and the most damaging one - questioning why you got married. Lady you are stupid and selfish. He wanted to and enjoyed sharing his little world with you, many guys don't do that, he was open to you, trusted you fully. Good job at destroying trust and love ... What do you do for encores?

Women bring this upon themselves. Stop trying to change a man into what you want and learn to accept and appreciate what you have. Stop being so narcissistic.

What a horrible cow

B***h. Only therapy. Or he will find someone better. It shouldn't be hard.

This is something only time can heal if time is allowed. She needs to give him some space, but let him know she was wrong and is there for him when he is ready. Another post saying she should buy him something for his collection is a really good idea. If he doesn't use the room anymore she could maybe go in and do what he was doing to see if he joins. But alas only time will heal these wounds if they even can at all.

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If he's mad at you and want you him to feel better just suck his d**k. Ez pz not complicated. Everyone who down voted this is a prude who probably never got laid in their entire life