One doesn't normally drop the "questioning the marriage" bomb out of nowhere, even in a flash of anger. And it's pretty hard to get that toothpaste back in the tube once it's out. Assuming OP just said something really stupid in anger, she still needs do a lot of work to figure out why she snapped at her husband who did absolutely nothing wrong but be himself and try to include her. (Maybe he's a bit clueless, and couldn't take polite "no thanks" cues, but even so her reaction was pretty needlessly nuclear.) While she works on herself, she needs to give her husband time to reengage on his own timeline. We don't get to hurt people then demand they accept our apology and move on. We can only show good faith atonement and be patient in the hope that things can be eventually discussed and moved past.

Go buy him something for his collection. And also something that is interesting to you a would be to him to explore as a mutual hobby. Then tell him you are sorry but just want to try again an explore something together to make special that you can share. I'm sure he's hurting not enjoying his interests. You wounded someone that tried so hard to have hobbies an took the joy from him with whatever you said. It might work. You might be single soon. Words spoken cannot be unsaid.

"Not one scar on my heart came from my enemy. They all came from people who said they loved me." I really felt that.

Gotta figure out why she was angry in the first place. WHY did she snap? If she didn't mean any of it, where did it all come from? Figure that out to get to the root issue and discuss that. Regular apologies don't work for this kind of hurt. OP can't "make it up to him." She's gonna have to be honest with herself about why she married him, what she wants from him, and how she wants their relationship to be. Then be vulnerable about that with him in a humble manner instead of in a fight. The way out of the situation is not to ignore what was said, it is to dig deeper into why OP was so hurtful in the first place. THEN rebuild from there.

AnnaB

AnnaB

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Not sure this can be fixed.

Why does she even love this guy? Seriously. She just tore him a new one head to toe, so what is it you want? You just tried to drive him away, now you want him to stay. Which is it?

"Words once spoken are like eggs once broken". OP isn't fit to be with someone on the spectrum and has poor emotional control, it would be right for him to leave her, I couldn't look the same way at my partner after they sh*t all over everything that makes up my personality and interests.

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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You ARE the AH. You knew what he was like all this time + you explode on him? Don't be surprised if he divorces you + finds someone more understanding.

Therapy

As someone on the spectrum, this broke my heart into pieces because I'm like the husband and have had jabs at things i loved or used to do and could never touch them again after the comments. My partner now is the most incredible person who accepts anything and everything from me and sometimes even encourages my stupid little loves. But im ALWAYS paranoid he will one day say something about how annoying i am or my hobbies are stupid (he wont) but history has made me fearful. This poor guy, he will never be able to be the same, everything (and literally everyone) he loved has become undesirable and hes gonna lose part of himself :'(

As an introvert I hate it when folks assume I’m on the spectrum.’ I’m not. Also introverts tend to be slow to anger, but once angered, slow to forgive. Get counseling, but assume you’ve destroyed your relationship and marriage

OP messed up BIG TIME. You should be able to trust your spouse to not hurt you and she betrayed that trust in a major way. If someone I loved talked to me that way... I don't think I could forgive it. What OP's husband does at this point is obviously up to him, but she shouldn't be surprised if he divorces her. She deserves it

"l said things l didn't mean" if you don't mean them don't.say.them. I'm so tired of people who can't control their impulses and expect grace afterwards

Horrible cow. He deserves better.

It's okay to feel anger & frustration, you can't control that. What you can control is how you react to others & what you do because of those emotions. You could have excused yourself. But you didn't. These are your emotions that you've been hiding, and they finally had a chance to come out.

He should divorce her so he can find a better person because OP is essentially a bully.

Sounds like she was frustrated because her attempts to tell him no hadn't worked and he wasn't as social as she is. But instead of constructively venting, she chose the nuclear option. There isn't a way to come back from this without counseling. And even then, he'll always wonder if another nuclear option is coming.

Women bring this upon themselves. Stop trying to make men what you want, and alter your expectations to what you have been dealt and learn to appreciate.

I think the question is why did you get so angry with him in the first place? He was just trying to be thoughtful and include you in the things he loves. You and his hobbies were his world and you've rubbished and everything he cares about in one fell swoop. Right now your hurtful words are still ringing in his ears and he will analyse the situation for months. Give him time and maybe suggest some things that you can do together, something that he enjoys, like build a lego set or something.

First he isn't slightly on the spectrum he is all the way on the spectrum. Second he would be better off without her. What a C yoU Next Tuesday.

I can't help but wonder if someone, a "friend" or family member, has been putting a bug in her ear. Telling her that she's unhappy, and that she can do better. Or someone is sidling up to her, with promises of endless bliss once she leaves her husband. Just a thought.

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You should divorce him, such an imature man.