***...and even questioned why I married him*** Now he's questioning why he married you, and you don't get to question why when he gives you the divorce papers.

I don't understand why you couldn't just have firmly told him that you wanted time to yourself. Those criticisms you threw at him are just beyond. They nullify any nice times he thought you were having together in that room or even within your marriage. Do you even like anything about him other than that he earns decently and is quite acquiescent?

"Not one scar on my heart came from my enemy. They all came from people who said they loved me." I really felt that.

Gotta figure out why she was angry in the first place. WHY did she snap? If she didn't mean any of it, where did it all come from? Figure that out to get to the root issue and discuss that. Regular apologies don't work for this kind of hurt. OP can't "make it up to him." She's gonna have to be honest with herself about why she married him, what she wants from him, and how she wants their relationship to be. Then be vulnerable about that with him in a humble manner instead of in a fight. The way out of the situation is not to ignore what was said, it is to dig deeper into why OP was so hurtful in the first place. THEN rebuild from there.

I often wonder when people say that another is on the spectrum if they are just making that sh!t up - do you have a diagnosis or is their arrogant ignorant way of saying he has quirks. Because I think for the majority it is a bullsh!t diagnosis and that is degrading and damaging to those on the spectrum, or have adhd, or ocd.

It might get buried but the line "my anger got the best of me and I couldn't control it in that moment" bothers me. It is no more acceptable to lash out emotionally like this than it is for someone to punch holes in the wall and blame their anger for making them uncontrollable. You're an adult. Manage your emotions or remove yourself from a situation if it is making that difficult. You can't just be like I was angry so it doesn't count.

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Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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You ARE the AH. You knew what he was like all this time + you explode on him? Don't be surprised if he divorces you + finds someone more understanding.

What an awful thing to do by OP, and lot of growing up to do on her part. I wish the best in their marriage, but if I were OP's husband, my feelings would permanently changed and may take a long time for me to recover from her actions.

As an introvert I hate it when folks assume I’m on the spectrum.’ I’m not. Also introverts tend to be slow to anger, but once angered, slow to forgive. Get counseling, but assume you’ve destroyed your relationship and marriage

OP messed up BIG TIME. You should be able to trust your spouse to not hurt you and she betrayed that trust in a major way. If someone I loved talked to me that way... I don't think I could forgive it. What OP's husband does at this point is obviously up to him, but she shouldn't be surprised if he divorces her. She deserves it

Women bring this upon themselves. Stop trying to change a man into what you want and learn to accept and appreciate what you have. Stop being so narcissistic.

OP, you deserve to be alone, after that stunt. you should divorce him so he can find someone who actually likes him.

What a horrible cow

I think the question is why did you get so angry with him in the first place? He was just trying to be thoughtful and include you in the things he loves. You and his hobbies were his world and you've rubbished and everything he cares about in one fell swoop. Right now your hurtful words are still ringing in his ears and he will analyse the situation for months. Give him time and maybe suggest some things that you can do together, something that he enjoys, like build a lego set or something.

This is something only time can heal if time is allowed. She needs to give him some space, but let him know she was wrong and is there for him when he is ready. Another post saying she should buy him something for his collection is a really good idea. If he doesn't use the room anymore she could maybe go in and do what he was doing to see if he joins. But alas only time will heal these wounds if they even can at all.

I can't help but wonder if someone, a "friend" or family member, has been putting a bug in her ear. Telling her that she's unhappy, and that she can do better. Or someone is sidling up to her, with promises of endless bliss once she leaves her husband. Just a thought.

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You should divorce him, such an imature man.