Blame-shifting, unreasonable jealousy, and drama-baiting are among the long list of toxic relationship traits that people typically experience. They may be tolerable for some and an instant dealbreaker for others. 

A man ticked all three boxes with his girlfriend, who seemingly had a massive problem with him going on a night out with friends. It initially ended with him sleeping on the couch, but the situation quickly escalated to a point where he could potentially face criminal charges. 

The author attests that he did nothing wrong and took to the AITAH Reddit community to seek answers.  

Some people end up in toxic relationships

Image credits: gpointstudio (not the actual photo)

A man had to deal with the unreasonable behavior of his girlfriend, who seemingly had a massive issue with him going on a night out

Image credits: jet-po (not the actual photo)

The couple had a blowout fight where the woman got physical and stormed out

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

However, she tried to play the victim by accusing him of hitting her 

Image credits: [deleted]

Women who desire to control their partners are likely to use physical aggression

As the author recounted in his story, it was his girlfriend who escalated their argument by using aggression and throwing the pillow at him. According to the University of Cumbria professor Dr. Elizabeth Bates, women will likely get physical to appease their desire to control their romantic partners. 

A study published in the National Library of Medicine supported Dr. Bates’ statement, revealing that women “were significantly more likely” to have used intimate partner violence (IPV) more frequently. 

The study found four primary motivations for women to engage in IPV: self-defense, anger, desiring attention, and coercive control. 

The girlfriend also tried to play the victim and shift the blame onto the author, alleging he “hit her in a drunken rage.” According to author and mental health researcher Arlin Cuncic, MA, a person may embody the victim mentality because of “multiple negative situations” where they have no sense of control. 

The author was clearly in a toxic relationship, and his two friends immediately sensed it and urged him to break up. Fortunately, he took their advice. 

However, he must address the lies she spread about him, particularly regarding the physical a*****t allegation. In most places, it is a criminal charge and could land him in deep trouble if the woman escalated it further. 

In these cases, experts like psychotherapist Dr. Marni Feuerman, LCSW, LMFT, advise speaking to someone about it. 

“If you feel threatened, inform the local authorities that you are going to need help,” Dr. Feuerman wrote in an article for Very Well Mind. 

Most people sided with the author, with some advising him to “save himself legally”

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