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The death of a loved one, in theory, should bring the family together to support one another through such a trying time. However, when a substantial inheritance is in question, the opposite can happen, especially if some people feel wronged about the late one’s wealth distribution.
Unfortunately, the dissatisfaction over inheritance didn’t skip this family either. When redditor Ok_Oil_324’s mom passed away, she left everything to her children, which her sisters thought were unfair. So they tried guilt-tripping the siblings into sharing the money with them, which pushed the original poster to turn online for perspective.
The death of a loved one should bring the family together so they could support one another
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
However, for this family it had the opposite effect, as it was followed by quite a substantial inheritance
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Oil_324
The willingness to share inheritance with family often depends on their specific relationships and the amount of money that is bequeathed
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
In a previous interview with Bored Panda, financial planner Justin Rush said that willingness to share inheritance with family often depends on their specific relationships and the amount of money that is bequeathed.
“In our line of work, we’ve personally seen many situations with families that have fought over inheritances, that have fought because things weren’t even or weren’t equal. On the flip side, we’ve seen the opposite as well, right? We’ve seen families that are very equitable. We’ve seen siblings who have redistributed some of the inherited funds to make sure that things were even. I think a lot of that just comes down to the specific relationships and the family.”
However, he believes that at the end of the day, it’s up to the person who left the inheritance to decide who they wish their assets to go to. Redistributing the wealth according to others’ wishes shouldn’t be the responsibility of the beneficiaries.
“That’s kind of part of that broader estate planning process where older couples and even younger couples that may have amassed a large number of assets or money should have a very well thought out and well-written plan that distributes those assets how they want and to whom they want them to go,” he explains.
“That itself can really help with resolving conflict down the road,” he adds. “If there’s a very clear plan in place about who they wanted this money to go to or who they wanted to get a house or a vacation home, that clear communication can help the families down the road.”
The unwillingness to share the inheritance should be communicated by being open and just having the conversation
Image credits: lookstudio / freepik (not the actual photo)
When it comes to communicating the unwillingness to share the inheritance with others, Rush suggests being open and just getting the conversation over with.
Of course, he admits that such a talk isn’t the most pleasant one to have, as money is still a big taboo topic, but it can really prevent further conflict from arising. “It only makes it harder when some of this fighting starts happening over money, assets, and estates,” he says.
Another tip to maintain harmony and prevent family disputes that senior estate planner and shareholder David Bross provides is for inheritance providers to review their estate plan every 3–5 years.
“Circumstances change and a periodic review will ensure your estate plan is consistent with your current wishes. [Also], review beneficiary designations on all retirement plans, annuities, and life insurance. These assets are not part of the probate process, so they are not subject to the terms of your last will and testament. Often these designation are forgotten about and not reviewed, so they may name beneficiaries that are not consistent with the current estate plan.”
Readers concluded that the author definitely wasn’t the jerk in this situation
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Do you think the siblings should honor their mother's will as it is, without sharing with the aunts?
Zelda McLink 2 weeks ago
God, if my sister died I would expect everything to go to her spouse and kids. I wouldn't even think of expecting anything, let alone asking for it. Maybe some photos or trinkets, but that's it.
Winnie the Moo 2 weeks ago
Dear OP, your aunts are tarnishing the memory you have of your mother because they are spoiled brats that thought they would get ‘easy money’. Where were they when your mom was dying? Instead of supporting you with your loss of your MOM, they are only thinking about themselves. They are envious of you. Be careful. Do as your brother and cut them off!
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
"She always helped us" - i.e. you always took advantage and now your cash cow is dead and you have to finally get your s**t together.
kath morgan 2 weeks ago
Mother was totally capable of planning things the way she “would have wanted”, and she did. These are just vultures circling her corpse. Disgusting.
Dave Morris 2 weeks ago
You owe them nothing. Do what your brother has sensibly done and block them. Permanently.
Grenelda Thurber 2 weeks ago
Oh for heaven's sake. Your aunts think your mother would want them to mooch off you and your brother, because they mooched off your mother?? Like mooching is a right of survivorship? That's hilarious. Your aunts are grasping at straws. Your mother put what she wanted in her will.
Michelle C 2 weeks ago
If the mother wanted to share with her sisters it would've been in the will. The aunts are leeches, block them!
Angrykitten 2 weeks ago
It's really sad that estates and division of assets causes so much family drama. Especially when there is a will so there can be no question as to what the person wanted to happen. It's literally the reason for the will. Greed is awful
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 2 weeks ago
BLOCK THEM!! It's a good thing you can choose your friends, because the Devil gave you your relatives. Cut them off now, that will stop the unending attempts to bully and gaslighting. Your mom knew exactly what she wanted, honor her wishes and go in peace.
Funhog 2 weeks ago
OP's Mother should have included a paragraph in her will for the purpose of acknowledging all of the relatives who she intended to not inherit from her. She could've also included the reason(s) for why they are intentionally being excluded from inheriting, especially if she felt it necessary for the preservation of the relationships of her surviving relatives. There would have been no guessing by anyone about her intentions. It would have been a kindness of her towards her children if she had done this because the aunts would be left being mad at her, not mad at her children.
Julie Schraeder 2 weeks ago
She knows exactly what her mom's wishes were so why is she even asking the internet?
FlamingRed 1 week ago
The gravy train has reached its last station. Time for the aunties to disembark. Don't refuel that train, OP, and send it back out on the rails. They'll bleed you dry, if you let them, guilting you with, "Oh, it's what your dear departed mother would have wanted!" all the way.
Anna Drever 2 weeks ago
None of my siblings or I are leaving anything to each other. Everything goes to our kids. As it should be (assuming you have a good relationship with your kids).
Nina 2 weeks ago
Explains a lot about why mum left OP the house - she's spineless enough to have given her mum's money to her entitled aunts if it was in full cash. OP is such a pushover for even entertaining the thought of giving these women money her mum went out of her way to NOT give them. Glad the brother has common sense. Hope she actually listens to Reddit.
Rachel Pelz 2 weeks ago
Like banana for scale in picture-- YTAs for comments about how off they are are missing.
Doctor Strange 2 weeks ago
This is why its important to include Everyone in your will, even the people you don't like. You leave them a single penny, or some other meaningless token. This creates a legal precedent, showing that you did, in fact, include them in the will and there was no 'interpretation' or anything else.
Steve Robert 2 weeks ago
I'm the last one left of my nuclear and extended family. My only closest family is my daughter. She'll inherit everything I own, which will have a seven figure payout. Makes it easy on who gets what. Although, I do get anxious when my kid asks how am I feeling!
Zelda McLink 2 weeks ago
God, if my sister died I would expect everything to go to her spouse and kids. I wouldn't even think of expecting anything, let alone asking for it. Maybe some photos or trinkets, but that's it.
Winnie the Moo 2 weeks ago
Dear OP, your aunts are tarnishing the memory you have of your mother because they are spoiled brats that thought they would get ‘easy money’. Where were they when your mom was dying? Instead of supporting you with your loss of your MOM, they are only thinking about themselves. They are envious of you. Be careful. Do as your brother and cut them off!
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
"She always helped us" - i.e. you always took advantage and now your cash cow is dead and you have to finally get your s**t together.
kath morgan 2 weeks ago
Mother was totally capable of planning things the way she “would have wanted”, and she did. These are just vultures circling her corpse. Disgusting.
Dave Morris 2 weeks ago
You owe them nothing. Do what your brother has sensibly done and block them. Permanently.
Grenelda Thurber 2 weeks ago
Oh for heaven's sake. Your aunts think your mother would want them to mooch off you and your brother, because they mooched off your mother?? Like mooching is a right of survivorship? That's hilarious. Your aunts are grasping at straws. Your mother put what she wanted in her will.
Michelle C 2 weeks ago
If the mother wanted to share with her sisters it would've been in the will. The aunts are leeches, block them!
Angrykitten 2 weeks ago
It's really sad that estates and division of assets causes so much family drama. Especially when there is a will so there can be no question as to what the person wanted to happen. It's literally the reason for the will. Greed is awful
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 2 weeks ago
BLOCK THEM!! It's a good thing you can choose your friends, because the Devil gave you your relatives. Cut them off now, that will stop the unending attempts to bully and gaslighting. Your mom knew exactly what she wanted, honor her wishes and go in peace.
Funhog 2 weeks ago
OP's Mother should have included a paragraph in her will for the purpose of acknowledging all of the relatives who she intended to not inherit from her. She could've also included the reason(s) for why they are intentionally being excluded from inheriting, especially if she felt it necessary for the preservation of the relationships of her surviving relatives. There would have been no guessing by anyone about her intentions. It would have been a kindness of her towards her children if she had done this because the aunts would be left being mad at her, not mad at her children.
Julie Schraeder 2 weeks ago
She knows exactly what her mom's wishes were so why is she even asking the internet?
FlamingRed 1 week ago
The gravy train has reached its last station. Time for the aunties to disembark. Don't refuel that train, OP, and send it back out on the rails. They'll bleed you dry, if you let them, guilting you with, "Oh, it's what your dear departed mother would have wanted!" all the way.
Anna Drever 2 weeks ago
None of my siblings or I are leaving anything to each other. Everything goes to our kids. As it should be (assuming you have a good relationship with your kids).
Nina 2 weeks ago
Explains a lot about why mum left OP the house - she's spineless enough to have given her mum's money to her entitled aunts if it was in full cash. OP is such a pushover for even entertaining the thought of giving these women money her mum went out of her way to NOT give them. Glad the brother has common sense. Hope she actually listens to Reddit.
Rachel Pelz 2 weeks ago
Like banana for scale in picture-- YTAs for comments about how off they are are missing.
Doctor Strange 2 weeks ago
This is why its important to include Everyone in your will, even the people you don't like. You leave them a single penny, or some other meaningless token. This creates a legal precedent, showing that you did, in fact, include them in the will and there was no 'interpretation' or anything else.
Steve Robert 2 weeks ago
I'm the last one left of my nuclear and extended family. My only closest family is my daughter. She'll inherit everything I own, which will have a seven figure payout. Makes it easy on who gets what. Although, I do get anxious when my kid asks how am I feeling!
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