Woman Makes DIL Cry By Refusing To Bake Over 1,000 Cookies For Her Wedding
If you remember the plot of the fairy tale about Cinderella, then the evil stepmother wasn’t actually against her stepdaughter going to the royal ball – she just had to do so many chores around the house that the whole team wouldn’t have been able to finish it on time. Today we have to get acquainted with a story somewhat similar – only the MIL-to-be unexpectedly turns out to be in the role of Cinderella.
Yes, this also happens – some time before her son’s wedding, a woman finds out that the bride really wants her, in accordance with one of her native traditions, to make a whole cookie table for the entire reception. More than a thousand cookies, by the way.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a son who’s going to marry soon and his fiancee seems overly intrusive towards the author
Image credits: Nicole Michalou (not the actual photo)
In fact, the bride-to-be has very strained relationships with her family, so she allegedly wants to ‘replace’ her own mom with the MIL
Image credits: u/Elegant_Throat_8297
The author, however, isn’t actually that happy about her DIL’s desire
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Elegant_Throat_8297
Recently the bride-to-be begged the author to be the one who cooks 1K cookies for the wedding reception, according to tradition
Image credits: Josh Sorenson (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Elegant_Throat_8297
The author found out that it should be the bride’s mom or female relative who bakes – and flatly refused
So let’s meet the user u/Elegant_Throat_8297, the Original Poster (aka the OP), whose son is soon to be married to a wonderful girl named ‘Wendy.’ It just so happens that Wendy has a very strained relationship with her family – and in particular with her own mom, so she is trying in every possible way to have the author replace her mother.
It’s not as if the original poster was completely thrilled with this – especially since Wendy, according to the OP’s own words, seems quite intrusive in her attempts. So in the lead-up to the wedding, the bride-to-be ‘delighted’ her by asking – or shall we say, literally pleading – that, according to tradition, she prepare a whole table of cookies for the reception.
Firstly, it was the first time in the original poster’s entire life she heard about such a tradition. Secondly, she urgently googled it – and it turned out that yes, such a tradition really exists – and one of the women on the bride’s side should bake the cookies. Oh yes, thirdly – it must be at least a thousand pieces.
Well, none of the women on Wendy’s side wanted to make cookies. And none of the OP’s female relatives expressed a desire to help her. The woman didn’t want to bake a thousand cookies herself either. In general, she refused – even though Wendy was incredibly upset by this refusal. Even though her son called the mom ‘a huge jerk.’ However, after this, the OP decided to find out what people online thought about this.
Image credits: fu zhichao (not the actual photo)
Yes, that’s right – we conducted our own research and found out that the cookie table is indeed a real wedding tradition, inherent in both national wedding receptions, for example, Italian or Polish, and some regions of the USA as well. For example, the cookie table is common for weddings in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and Youngstown, Ohio.
At the same time, in some states – such as, for instance, California, Texas, Nevada or Washington, the wedding cookie table tradition is practically unknown. This, firstly, allows us to conclude where exactly the events unfolded in the story we are describing (probably one of the four states listed above), as well as where Wendy’s family is from.
Well, the readers’ opinions in the comments to the original post were divided. Some completely agree with the author, arguing that she’s not at all obliged to bake so many cookies. “[Not the jerk] for refusing such a large ask, but you seem to be happy to stick in the ‘I don’t like her’ camp,” one of the commenters wrote.
However, a significant part of commenters are quite sure that the issue here is not so much about cookies, but about relationships in the future family. “There seems to be a huge empathy gap her from you towards your future DIL. It sounds like she has little to no family support. She’s likely hoping to be close to her in-laws,” one person presumed. “Suck it up, apologize and offer to coordinate the cookie table. You’ll be glad you did,” another one advised.
Well, if you, our dear readers, are from Pittsburgh or Youngstown, we would greatly appreciate a detailed explanation of the cookie table tradition in the comments below this post. And, of course, please feel free to write your own point of view on the behavior of the participants in this particular story.
The netizens were very divided over this story – and some of them admitted it’s actually not about cookies but about joining the family
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wtf is with the "yta"? It sounds like "do lots of hours of labour for your future DIL to show you love her and welcome her to the family" Well love doesn't work that way. OP is uncomfortable with DIL, as she seems to go over personal boundaries (clingy, telling personal stories). Just because the woman will be her DIL doesn't mean she needs to be ok with it. It takes time to get to know people. And that DIL and her own family aren't close might be a red flag too. Could be from the family, but could also be from the DIL.
I don't understand why OP's future DIL can't buy grocery-store cookies, or if she insists on "hand-made" cookies (...because grocery-store cookies are made by robots, lol... jk there) why she can't engage a bakery to make these 1,000 cookies for her. I imagine future DIL wouldn't even be willing to pay OP for the ingredients, even if OP was willing to make the cookies. (1,000 cookies! FML! With the initial mixing of ingredients and subsequent baking, I cannot even FATHOM how long 1,000 cookies OF DIFFERENT TYPES would take to make!)
Load More Replies...It's noted that store bought was unacceptable which I think is ludicrous but that's tradition, I guess. I think in order to make peace on bought sides, I agree with UncleJohn3000. Buy the damn cookies. Maybe make 1 homemade batch.
Load More Replies...If she wants that many cookies, then she needs to hire a caterer or a baker.Its ridiculous to expect the grooms mother to make over one thousand cookies. And for free! Talk about being an entitled bridezilla!
wtf is with the "yta"? It sounds like "do lots of hours of labour for your future DIL to show you love her and welcome her to the family" Well love doesn't work that way. OP is uncomfortable with DIL, as she seems to go over personal boundaries (clingy, telling personal stories). Just because the woman will be her DIL doesn't mean she needs to be ok with it. It takes time to get to know people. And that DIL and her own family aren't close might be a red flag too. Could be from the family, but could also be from the DIL.
I don't understand why OP's future DIL can't buy grocery-store cookies, or if she insists on "hand-made" cookies (...because grocery-store cookies are made by robots, lol... jk there) why she can't engage a bakery to make these 1,000 cookies for her. I imagine future DIL wouldn't even be willing to pay OP for the ingredients, even if OP was willing to make the cookies. (1,000 cookies! FML! With the initial mixing of ingredients and subsequent baking, I cannot even FATHOM how long 1,000 cookies OF DIFFERENT TYPES would take to make!)
Load More Replies...It's noted that store bought was unacceptable which I think is ludicrous but that's tradition, I guess. I think in order to make peace on bought sides, I agree with UncleJohn3000. Buy the damn cookies. Maybe make 1 homemade batch.
Load More Replies...If she wants that many cookies, then she needs to hire a caterer or a baker.Its ridiculous to expect the grooms mother to make over one thousand cookies. And for free! Talk about being an entitled bridezilla!
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