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Vegan Woman Wonders “Am I A Jerk For Refusing To Host My In-Laws For Christmas?”
As if the general stress of the holidays isn’t enough, you might also have to think about hosting Christmas at your place. That can be a logistical nightmare. Especially if your in-laws and your partner’s entire extended family are coming over! Throw in some disagreements about what food to eat and you have a Tension Timebomb on your hands.
After a spot of family drama, redditor u/Awkward_Dot9908, a vegan, turned to the AITA online community for their advice. She wanted to hear their opinions on how she handled the question of who’s hosting Christmas dinner this year. She refused to be the host for her husband’s non-vegan family because she would have to prepare seafood for them.
Scroll down for the full story. Who do you think was in the wrong? If you’re vegan, have you ever prepared non-vegan food for someone else? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments, Pandas.
Bored Panda has reached out to u/Awkward_Dot9908 via Reddit. We’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
RELATED:
Having a ton of people over for Christmas can be a headache if your dietary preferences don’t match
Image credits: picjumbo.com (not the actual photo)
A woman asked the internet if she was a jerk for refusing to host her non-vegan in-laws over the holidays
Image credits: Conscious Design (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Awkward_Dot9908
The author of the post shared how her husband had slightly blindsided her. He didn’t ask her beforehand if she wanted to host his family for Christmas. The OP explained that her husband is “terrible” at cooking, so the stress of making everything for everyone would fall on her shoulders.
And even though the husband, who is also vegan, was fine handling seafood, his wife wasn’t. The row escalated and the redditor got blamed for “ruining Christmas”, as some of her husband’s relatives had already made travel plans to visit them. Meanwhile, the husband told his wife that she was being an “unreasonable vegan.”
Bored Panda has written about hosting dinners for people with various dietary restrictions before. It can be quite a challenge! Before inviting anyone over, make sure that you ask your guests if they’re vegan, vegetarian, or don’t eat gluten.
Then, make sure that you have at least a couple of things that they can eat. You don’t want your guests going hungry! However, it’s physically impossible to cater to absolutely everyone. For example, someone might be lactose intolerant or have nut allergies. Others might hate vegetables while some absolutely adore seafood. So you have to navigate people’s allergies (a priority!) and preferences.
In the midst of all of this culinary chaos, it’s essential that you remember why you’re doing all of this. The point of a dinner party is to have an enjoyable evening with some great people, whether they’re your close friends or someone you’d like to get to know better. If you feel like there are far too many preferences and dietary restrictions to keep track of, there’s actually a very simple solution—go to a restaurant.
Otherwise, if you’re set on hosting but you’re catering to a larger number of people, let everyone know what you’ll be making up front. Subtly suggest that they’re free to bring what they like if they have niche preferences or diets. You might be the host, but it doesn’t mean that you’re barred from enjoying yourself as well. You shouldn’t be stuck in the kitchen all day long!
Most people supported the author of the post. Here are their thoughts on the situation
What do you think ?
Tyke 1 year ago
Not buying the "he's a bad cook" and nor should she. If he invites his whole family over, regardless of what the food is, he can cook. If he can read, he can cook. If it's not up to "standard" tough. My suggestion would be for him to get practicing and perhaps ask some friends for tips.
Rahul Pawa 1 year ago
Yes and YouTube is full of recipe videos that walk you through it step by step. I'm sure he could find a video that can guide him through it.
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The Other Guest 1 year ago
Not just cook, but wash the dishes after as well. And get the house guest-ready if necessary beforehand. He offered to host, and he should do ALL the tasks associated with being a host, rather than just presuming OP will do it all.
Load More Replies... Rahul Pawa 1 year ago
Seems like there could have been a compromise instead of cancelling the whole thing. 1) he could have cooked the main dish. 2) someone else in the family could have cooked it, travelling a day early if necessary. 3) get the meat dishes catered. I'm also surprised you didn't have a conversation about this years ago. Those previous years when OP declined to host, she should have had a discussion with her spouse to make her boundaries clear. If she did that, then he's an even bigger AH for ignoring her boundary.
Mallory L 12 months ago
Have the seafood part catored was my first thought. I can understand how she wouldn't want meat, especially seafood, cooked in her kitchen, especially any older plastic bowls or serving utencils can hold a smell no matter how well they're washed
Load More Replies... Tyke 1 year ago
Not buying the "he's a bad cook" and nor should she. If he invites his whole family over, regardless of what the food is, he can cook. If he can read, he can cook. If it's not up to "standard" tough. My suggestion would be for him to get practicing and perhaps ask some friends for tips.
Rahul Pawa 1 year ago
Yes and YouTube is full of recipe videos that walk you through it step by step. I'm sure he could find a video that can guide him through it.
Load More Replies... The Other Guest 1 year ago
Not just cook, but wash the dishes after as well. And get the house guest-ready if necessary beforehand. He offered to host, and he should do ALL the tasks associated with being a host, rather than just presuming OP will do it all.
Load More Replies... Rahul Pawa 1 year ago
Seems like there could have been a compromise instead of cancelling the whole thing. 1) he could have cooked the main dish. 2) someone else in the family could have cooked it, travelling a day early if necessary. 3) get the meat dishes catered. I'm also surprised you didn't have a conversation about this years ago. Those previous years when OP declined to host, she should have had a discussion with her spouse to make her boundaries clear. If she did that, then he's an even bigger AH for ignoring her boundary.
Mallory L 12 months ago
Have the seafood part catored was my first thought. I can understand how she wouldn't want meat, especially seafood, cooked in her kitchen, especially any older plastic bowls or serving utencils can hold a smell no matter how well they're washed
Load More Replies...
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