“AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?”

The high school years are a wonderful time that most people will remember with nostalgia for the rest of their lives. But, on the other hand, during this period, we are faced with many problems that require either the ability to compromise or prove one’s case. In our teen years, each of us starts expressing ourselves – at first through visual appearance, and not always, alas, to others’ approval.

Teenagers’ attempts to change their appearance are often met with opposition from their parents, who, in turn, are guided by their own criteria for what is appropriate and what is not. But sometimes it happens that parents support teenagers, but their school just does not. Sometimes this rejection becomes really weird.

A classic example is the story of this mom, who wrote a post on the AITA Reddit community, gaining around 22.4K upvotes and over 1.8K comments so far. You have to give the Original Poster her due – she tries to defend her daughter’s rights, opposing the school bureaucracy. Or maybe something even worse…

More info: Reddit

The Original Poster’s daughter decided to dye her hair dark reddish brown for her 15th birthday

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

Image credits: adorn hairdressers (not the actual image)

So the Original Poster’s daughter recently turned 15 and decided to dye her hair dark reddish brown for her birthday. The mother had such an agreement with her daughter – in middle school, she was not allowed to dye her hair, but in high school, there’s no problem. The problem arose literally out of the blue because at the school where the OP’s daughter studies, there is a dress code which provides for “natural hair colors only”.

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

Image credits: u/smd130r

The OP’s daughter’s natural hair color is black, so, according to her mother, it’s actually not much of a change. This was confirmed by the hairdresser, who said that it was not lightened enough to cause significant damage.

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

Imagre credits: vickysandoval22 (not the actual image )

The girl’s teachers weren’t happy with her hair color, considering it to be a school dress code violation

But the school representatives were strongly opposed. At the beginning of last October, one of the teachers complained at the parent teacher meeting that the OP’s daughter’s hair did not meet the dress code – supposedly, such a shade was not natural for the girl’s hair. The mother quite reasonably drew attention to another classmates who dyed their hair in a variety of colors, but the teacher said that for them, these shades look natural.

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

Image credits: u/smd130r

The girl is Asian, so one of the teachers remarked that her hair was supposed to be black, which her mom found pretty racist

When the OP clarified what she meant by “natural”, the teacher remarked that her daughter’s hair was supposed to be black. The OP’s daughter is Asian, so mom found this pretty racist and went to complain to the school principal. However, the principal also did not agree with her – although there were many schoolchildren around with light brown and blonde hair, dyeing it in various shades, and the teachers did not consider this a dress code violation.

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

Image credits: u/smd130r

This situation, according to the OP, continued until the end of the school year. Mom tried to contact the superintendent about this, but got no response. And now, the new school year is already approaching, the OP’s daughter still dyes her hair dark reddish brown and does not want to go back to black.

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

Image credits: u/smd130r

The school principal emailed the OP before the new school year started claiming that her daughter is only allowed black hair

The OP recently received an email from the school principal reminding her that her daughter is only allowed black hair. Mom was outraged again and decided to go straight to the superintendent’s office and demand she get involved.

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

Image credits: Angelin Song (not the actual image )

People in the comments also found this teacher’s behavior racist and told the OP to contact ACLU

Most of the commenters were openly outraged by this behavior from the school administration, urging the OP to either contact the ACLU (if she lives in the USA) or bring this story to the attention of the local press. People in the comments are pretty sure that in this case, the conflict will be quickly resolved in favor of the OP and her daughter.

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

Moreover, according to some commenters, if she received a written request for her daughter to keep her hair only black, then this is actually a reason for a lawsuit. In any case, people in the comments strongly support this mother in her fighting racist policies and backing her daughter.

"AITA For Refusing To Dye My Daughter’s Hair Because Her School Complained?"

We’re pretty sure you have something to say about this story too, so please feel free to express your point of view in the comments.

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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What do you think ?

POST

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

Who are these people who have so much time on their hands that they're policing kids' hair color? The fact that the white kids in the school are dying their hair blonde and red suggests that there's a double standard here.

60points

Nikki Sevven 2 years ago

They're unhappy people who feel they have no control over their own lives, so they exert a ridiculous amount of control over others. Making others miserable makes them feel better. Horrible people, and they should never, ever be allowed in positions of authority.

30points

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ERIKA H. 2 years ago (edited)

What's stupid about policing kids hair color, in general, is that it is the best time for kids to have crazy hair colors because they're kids! Depending on the career path, you can't have crazy colors as adults, so why not allow it as kids?! It's never made any sense to me. This particular incident is clearly racist though.

24points

Zenozenobee 2 years ago

I had my hair or part of my hair dyed in black, red, purple, pink, orange, blue (that turned greenish pretty fast) and aslo party bleached between 15 and 19 yo, yet never had a problem at school (late 90's early 20's in France) and we didn't have the most tolerant headmaster by then ( like he tried to prevent a lesbian couple to hold hands). I stopped when my hair got sick of my experimentations ;p I'm a bit surprised by this school policy 🤔 how does your hair color change your grades?

3points

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Aisling Raye 2 years ago

This just gave me such flash backs to a friend of mine in middle school. She had gorgeous bright bright naturally red hair and some teacher reported her for having dyed her hair an unnatural color. It turned into a huge ordeal between her parents and the school. Can you imagine having to prove your kids natural hair color to your kids school? It destroyed my friend. She held on to feeling awkward about her hair color well into Highschool. This was nearly 30 years ago so I can't believe how strongly I reacted to a post about kids and hair color. Policing hair color is just as bad as punishing kids for a visible bra strap. Seriously, wtf schools?

14points

BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago

I heard of a similar story more recently in Korea. Girl had medium brown hair, her school kept harassing her since they had a "No-dying" policy. The mom brought in a picture of her daughter as a toddler with her natural hair color, medium brown. The principal's response - dye it black. I'm not sure what the mom decided to do. I would have refused, stating their own school policy. If they want all the students to have black hair, they can add that to the dress code next year

7points

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