NTA but they are living in a dystopia. Coworkers have to donate pto is absurd. The dying employee should have access to decent benefits but this is what Americans keep voting for.

This is madness, donating PTO shouldn't even be the option, the employer should be giving her full paid sick leave.

Disability kicks in at 60% is great imo. The co worker has this option and should be encouraged to take it. When you are sick, life gets surprisingly simple especially in terms of costs, you don't eat junk or eat out much at all, you don't have tport costs to and from work, you get concession on bills and taxis, there are a host of add ons available, including food banks, govt home care services (unless you are in America) etc. This is before family steps up if you have one. While op is definitely callous in her wording, I dont understand why her sick co worker needs to keep PTO even at minimal levels rather than take the 60% pay while she is sitting still basically and getting treated. It was offered to me and I would have taken it if I hadn't had over 60 days of my own leave saved when I had cancer plus long service leave. This is why I saved as much as I could, for unexpected health issues but then no one ever asked for leave donations so I may have given if asked.

Why should other employees have to fund this. Her organization should step up and do the right thing

I just think it should be an anonymous gift. Nobody needs to know who donated or didn't except HR.

Really stupid YTAs here, normalizing this whole "oh you should pool personal time off" -- nope, that's abuse by the employer. It's the employer's responsibility to have insurance for paid disability leave here. And yes, the poster's colleagues are just enabling this. No wonder why there's a continued hemorrhage of workers from health care.

The land of the (hardly ever) free. In what world are people not cared for when they're dying? Just absurd.

This whole having to use pto for illness-related things just pisses me off no end every single time. Main reason I would never ever move to the US despite its wonderful nature and (mostly) friendly people

In a situation like this I would not worry about my vacation days. I would just try to spend my last days with my family and friends. Unless it's the US and I need those last days to be PTO so I don't lose my job and therefore my health insurance and the last days are hell with no palliative care.

NTA. I once had a gm who not only was an ah to me but was abusive as well. I was a female in the automotive industry and he made it clear that I was not wanted for years. I also worked alongside a few that mirrored this sentiment. When the gm keeled over one day when he had a seizure then a heart attack I was indifferent. Those that mirrored his beliefs about women in the automotive industry got angry with me when I even refused to sign the sympathy card for the family and donate money. I made $8.15 an hour after working there for nearly 5 years. And I reminded them why I have no empathy for them because outside of them I would give the shirt off my back to someone in need, unless you've done things to destroy me. People forget that we make our own beds and sometimes we have to sleep in them.

NTA. But just say I’m not donating my pto. The other part might get hr evolved. And you really don’t owe them an explanation for why you’re not donating your pto.

NTA. Giving PTO is crazy bat feces. No matter the situation. It is the employer/ social security responsability Fulllest stop ever. I can´t believe what i am reading with my own two eyes.

It was stated that the employee with cancer would be given disability pay equal to 60% of her pay. If you give up your PTO that's only equivalent to 40% because she would receive 60% anyway. So you give up 100% of your benefit, she gets 40% and your employer saves a ton of money. No thanks.

The poll is missing an option. Donating pto should not be a thing.

I agree. NTA. But leave it at no, I’m not donating my pto.

All the YTA people seem to be labouring under the mistaken belief that the author had stated to colleagues why they weren't donating any pto.

Screw that and the YTAs. The employer could give her the PTO with a signature. NTA in triplicate.

PS, are the rest of you blind to the actual point if this story? You all are arguing about the PTO issue and not noticing how the commenter is a coldhearted, arrogant prick? Not because they won't donate, but because of how cruel their comments were?

NTA. Where I worked had the same thing. Where they ask employees to donate their unused time. What I seen was the employees that needed my time, where the ones that were constantly using all their time. Then brag about not leaving any time to the company. As a person that used their as needed and kept time for emergencies, I find this practice very distasteful. Because then co workers pressure others to donate their time. I say the company is TAH for making this work environment.

NTA, empathy and sympathy are not the same thing. OP said she understands the sadness and respected the situation. She just didn't care to donate her PTO which should NEVER be an option. I don't care who's dying, insurance or the company can cover it, other employees should NEVER even be asked. Life is hard, but we are only responsible for our own. Cancer sucks, but it's not really anyone's problem to resolve except the one who has it. Someone else's dire financial situation does not demand your resources, and if people don't like you bc of it too bad. You're not a charity, if people only like you for what you can do for others, their opinion is worthless anyways.

For all the people saying that the employer should do something...my employer does take care of people in this situation but doesn't advertise it for praise. We then get half of the employees who are mad at the company for "not doing anything" and the other half mad for the company not asking them to help. Donating time off makes some people happy because they feel like they are doing something to help and helping someone shouldn't be advertised so that you can reassure everyone how awesome you are.

YTA You shouldn't be working in a Healthcare field if this is your attitude towards someone who is seriously ill. You don't have to donate all of your PTO. Even a token offering, 1 or 2 days would at least be 1 or 2 days she could get some relief. You could also put aside grievances for a minute. She could be rotten to the core. But you're just as bad here. Or, you could think of something else: a gift of Uber to get her to and from appointments, gift card for a one time meal or any number of other things. It might lead to a changed attitude on her part. Even close friends and family tend to disappear when we're I'll especially with cancer and other serious issues. Barring actual criminal behavior or outright meanness, no one deserves that. Karma does come full circle. You'd do well to remember that.

I wouldn't donate PTO. Want a monetary donation. Sure. No worthiness criteria. Just no. PTO is mine.

Of course this person has no responsibility to donate their PTO, but holy f*cking hell do they sound like an awful person. Where's their empathy? Why not just say "No, I'm afraid that's not possible right now" and leave it at that? The comments about how giving extra time would be a waste because the colleague will die anyway are sickening. I have a feeling they're going to be very unpopular, but based on this post I have a feeling they already are.

Healthcare worker! What healthCARE? Time to recover or time to be with family, if terminal, is a basic human right. Maybe if you were in a third world country, where paid employment is scarce or not regulated, but bl**dy h*ll, most of the rest of the world pays 6 or 12 months at full pay, and can provide 'ill health' early retirement with pension as though you'd worked to retirement age. Inhumane.

Has anyone started a meal drop plan? Or cleaning plan? How about a personal shopper plan? There's other ways to help besides donating pto. PTO is great, but if she spends that time cooking, cleaning or doing the shopping, it isn't giving her time with her family. So, give her something that will allow her to spend that time with her family and help her financially.

omg if about to die give up your job and live last part of life to fullest (unless like 8 days away from retirement and huge pension) what joke the usa is

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Yes very much the callous ah ! The woman’s likely dying for heavens sake if your allowed to donate paid leave gotta be USA cos that’s not a thing here in uk but omg if I was in your situation even if I didn’t like the person (I don’t like people in general more so ones like you !) I’d happily donate it seriously your why should I she don’t need it she’s dying words disgust me ! How cruel are you there by the grace of god go you lady ! n karma remembers everything you did yourself you don’t really need it SHE DOES to be able to spend what ever time she has left with her family to have treatment and maybe even recover she’s got enough to worry about without money issues to pto would alleviate that at least so she can relax on that score your an awful person yes there should be help out there like there is here in uk but there isn’t ! So be the be the decent person and help a dying woman out to spend precious time with her family with out the added money worries