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Guy Decides Not To Give Up A Kidney For Best Friend’s Sister As She Intentionally Disrespects Him
Having a best friend is a big privilege and responsibility. It’s a unique bond that binds you ethically to do your best to care for them and vice versa. But what about your best friend’s family? Are their interests your responsibility too?
Today’s story covers a sensitive and complex topic – organ donation. A man was asked to donate his kidney to his best friend’s sister, but he didn’t want to go under the knife, especially not for her. Therefore, he reached out for advice online.
More Info: Reddit
RELATED:
Being best friends with someone is great, but sometimes you can run into challenging ethical decisions
Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual photo)
A man recently approached Reddit for advice, as he was asked by his friend to donate his kidney to his sister
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
They have known each other for 15 years, and the man knew the sister for the same time too, however she was never friendly to him
Image credits: Robina Weermeijer (not the actual photo)
Instead, she was always quite cold and rude to him, even when she matured into adulthood
Image credits: FingerVonBang
Therefore, the man didn’t feel like he wanted to donate his kidney to the sister but didn’t know how to tell his friend without coming across as insensitive
Recently, a man approached Reddit with a very serious question – how should one communicate not wanting to donate his kidney without coming across as insensitive?
The OP (Original Poster) has known his best friend for over 15 years and his sister for just as long. However, the sister has always been rude to the OP since she was a kid, and even when she matured into adulthood.
The man didn’t really care about her rudeness though, as she was just a kid, although it’s a bit weird that she continued her behavior into adulthood. He also specified that he was never rude to her or any of the family members.
He loves his best friend and his sister, but her treating him like a stranger doesn’t sit right. Even though the OP doesn’t even have any animosity towards the woman, donating his kidney to her just isn’t something he wants to do.
Having all of this context in mind, it’s not weird that he doesn’t want to go under the knife. The man is filled with doubts, after all, it’s a lifelong commitment and he isn’t even sure if the woman would be grateful for it.
Redditors say that the OP would be disqualified from the operation anyway as the medical team needs to make sure there’s consent. If there’s hesitation, the donor does not qualify for the procedure.
Image credits: Mike Greer (not the actual photo)
Others advise that he can go to the test if he’s a fit donor, and then confidentially tell the doctors that he doesn’t want to do this, and is just being pestered. Although this is a more convenient way if the man wants to avoid confrontation, it would mean that he’s lying to his best friend.
However, the man later added in the comments that he told his friend the truth. The OP’s stance on this wasn’t a last minute decision as he had been asked about it over the years. The friend took it well and even joked with him, but the OP still felt awful.
The man even regretted that he told him the truth and that he should’ve lied for their friendship’s sake. But it would’ve been terrible to live in a lie. Fortunately, another friend stepped in and offered to donate his kidney to the sister. It’s good that this story worked out for the best for all parties included, but we mustn’t forget that giving up a part of your body for someone is never an easy or trivial choice to make.
As per statistics covered in Health of Human services, 28000 kidney transplant operations were done in 2023. That’s a hefty amount, but over 90k people were on the waiting list for a donation.
Talking about the transplant procedure itself, all organs have specific timeframes after being taken out of a body and when they can be still transplanted. Kidneys last the longest, for 24-36 hours.
The reason why organs quickly become unfit for the operation is lack of blood flow. Kidneys are extremely resilient and can be cooled for over a day and still be fully functional after the transplant.
What do you think about the story? Would you donate a kidney to your best friend’s sister? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditors suggest that he could potentially lie to his best friend, or tell the truth as it’s his own body
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What do you think ?
Ni Na 4 months ago
Why not include the update? I took this advice and told him that I love him and his family but I have to opt out. It’s something that’s been brought up a few times over the years, so saying “no” wasn’t a last minute decision, I’ve had thought about it for awhile, and I told him this. Also explained that I do plan on having a family of my own one day, and my own Mother is currently battling cancer, so I am just not in the mind set to donate and feel comfortable doing so. I didn’t want to lie, and tell the screener to lie for me, because I’d have to live with knowing I pretended to help him. He took it well, he joked with me, said it’s okay and he understands, but I still feel awful. Especially since one of our friends in the group chat (that we only recently got close with) offered to donate to his sister, but not me, his best friend of 15 years. I just cant and won’t do it, and now he knows that about me. I really should’ve lied, for his and for our friendship’s sake, but living a lie
Ni Na 4 months ago
so I don’t look like a s****y friend doesn’t feel right..but neither did telling the truth 😔
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Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 4 months ago
Are people seriously just texting people they know asking them to donate organs to their relatives? Thats wild. At least he did it in a group text so op can just not respond
Sunny Day 4 months ago
It's common, and sometimes creates a chain. Say OP got tested. He doesn't match Sister, but he does match Guy2, a complete stranger. Guy2 asks all his friends/family to get tested. One of them matches Guy3. Guy3's family gets tested, and one of them match OP's best friends sister. So you have 3 people getting a kidney, including OP's friends sister, all because OP was willing to donate.
Load More Replies...
Ge Po 4 months ago
The hospital won't even lie when they call 'no match,' even if the genetics or blood-type or whatever it is that has to match adds up. A real match means the donor knows that there is a realistic, in some situations even larger risk to their health than to the receiver's health, that the heavy surgery and recovery may be in vain, because the kidney will be rejected after all (for whatever reason). The hospital also knows that a donor who is not fully in to this will suffer even more severely psychologically, causing more stress on the body and therefore more risk while recovering, especially when that kidney does get rejected. There are even more factors which may call for 'not a match' than that. Basically, a donor has to be willing to risk dying or becoming chronically ill for life, for the chance that the receiver will have a better life.
Ni Na 4 months ago
Why not include the update? I took this advice and told him that I love him and his family but I have to opt out. It’s something that’s been brought up a few times over the years, so saying “no” wasn’t a last minute decision, I’ve had thought about it for awhile, and I told him this. Also explained that I do plan on having a family of my own one day, and my own Mother is currently battling cancer, so I am just not in the mind set to donate and feel comfortable doing so. I didn’t want to lie, and tell the screener to lie for me, because I’d have to live with knowing I pretended to help him. He took it well, he joked with me, said it’s okay and he understands, but I still feel awful. Especially since one of our friends in the group chat (that we only recently got close with) offered to donate to his sister, but not me, his best friend of 15 years. I just cant and won’t do it, and now he knows that about me. I really should’ve lied, for his and for our friendship’s sake, but living a lie
Ni Na 4 months ago
so I don’t look like a s****y friend doesn’t feel right..but neither did telling the truth 😔
Load More Replies... Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 4 months ago
Are people seriously just texting people they know asking them to donate organs to their relatives? Thats wild. At least he did it in a group text so op can just not respond
Sunny Day 4 months ago
It's common, and sometimes creates a chain. Say OP got tested. He doesn't match Sister, but he does match Guy2, a complete stranger. Guy2 asks all his friends/family to get tested. One of them matches Guy3. Guy3's family gets tested, and one of them match OP's best friends sister. So you have 3 people getting a kidney, including OP's friends sister, all because OP was willing to donate.
Load More Replies... Ge Po 4 months ago
The hospital won't even lie when they call 'no match,' even if the genetics or blood-type or whatever it is that has to match adds up. A real match means the donor knows that there is a realistic, in some situations even larger risk to their health than to the receiver's health, that the heavy surgery and recovery may be in vain, because the kidney will be rejected after all (for whatever reason). The hospital also knows that a donor who is not fully in to this will suffer even more severely psychologically, causing more stress on the body and therefore more risk while recovering, especially when that kidney does get rejected. There are even more factors which may call for 'not a match' than that. Basically, a donor has to be willing to risk dying or becoming chronically ill for life, for the chance that the receiver will have a better life.
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