The holidays can be a fun time for the family to get together and share some good food. But it can also become a total headache for everyone involved, especially for the host.

In this redditor’s family, this year, she became the one to welcome the family in her home for Thanksgiving. She was also the person who had to make sure the food was in order, and that meant preparing something vegan for her brother and his girlfriend to eat. But the compromise of having some vegan dishes alongside meat was not good enough for him.

Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interviews with the OP themselves, as well as with a registered dietitian-nutritionist, Jane Burrell, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about the vegan diet.

Many holidays entail serving certain staples

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

This woman’s “militantly vegan” brother refused to come for Thanksgiving if meat was going to be served to anyone

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Cedric Fauntleroy (not the actual photo)

Image source: Suspicious-Basil7882

Having diverse foods on the table can make feeding family members following different diets an easier task

Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)

Cooking for the entire family can be a pain in the neck for many reasons; the quantity alone can make someone curse hard at the stove. Not to mention the allergies, the food preferences, the dietary restrictions, and the picky eaters in the family, having to take all of which into consideration can make the person want to leave the kitchen altogether.

But some people are determined enough to make it work. While it might not be easy, it’s important for them to be supportive of their loved ones and their food choices. According to registered dietitian-nutritionist Jane Burrell, “Eating habits are personal and many styles of eating can be healthy, and it is important to allow for this individuality and support each other.”

The expert suggests that when there are vegans in the family, a typical get-together doesn’t necessarily have to be all vegan, and combining several different dishes and making some alterations is a safe bet. For instance, a nice salad or deliciously made vegetables is something that vegans and non-vegans alike can enjoy. Using vegetable stock instead of chicken stock is also a small step to take in the kitchen, but a big one, in regards to how many people can enjoy the dish.

Another great way to make sure everyone is happy is asking guests to bring a dish themselves, this way alleviating the load for the host and ensuring that everyone has something to eat. Unfortunately, the OP’s brother refused to bring something to the family gathering, which is what upset the woman the most about the situation. “I’m annoyed that my brother is trying to control what I eat in my own home,” she told Bored Panda. “He’s welcome to come eat the vegetarian items or bring his own food. He’s just not going to dictate what I or my parents eat.

“My brother has always been a bit self-centered but his personality really started to change and become obsessive and demanding when he became a vegetarian. His behavior is problematic aside from the food issue, but it did really seem to begin at the same time as the diet change, so it’s a chicken or egg question,” she added.

The woman shared that, in her opinion, her sibling doesn’t make a lot of time for the family, unless he wants something. “He has a habit of making poor life choices and then asking our parents to bail him out. I think he keeps just enough contact with our mom to ensure she’ll come to the rescue the next time he needs money or a place to crash.”

There’s no one diet that fits everyone, which is why it’s better not to insist that someone eats the same way you do

Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)

Another benefit of guests bringing a dish they like for everyone to try is a chance for their loved ones to expand their horizons in regards to food. Though, anyone who’s ever told their uncle that not everything has to be deep fried or has ever told their cousin that having pizza for dinner five times a week might not be a good idea knows just how difficult it can be to make someone broaden said horizons.

Take veganism, for instance, something that the OP’s brother swears by. According to Statista’s data from Europe, roughly 3% of people in his age group—millennials—are vegan. In the US, the exact number of vegan millennials is unclear, however, according to 2023 data, roughly 1% of the population in the country followed this type of diet.

Those who are not keen on excluding animal-based products from their menu often say that it’s impossible to lead a healthy lifestyle following a vegan diet. But according to Jane Burrell, as long as a person follows a well-balanced diet, making sure that they get enough of the necessary elements, it is possible to live a nutrient-rich life. That, of course, doesn’t mean that a vegan, or any other diet, that works for one person, will work for everyone.

“A vegan diet may be less processed than a traditional diet and that has implications for improving the balance of good bacteria in the gut, is associated with lower blood lipids like LDL cholesterol, healthier body composition, and reducing risk of disease,” Burrell noted. “However, this does not mean that a vegan diet is always better. When we review nutrition research, we must consider that there are associations between dietary intake and health, but these associations do not necessarily mean that a certain way of eating is the only healthy way to go.”

While bringing a vegan dish or two to a family dinner might help an uncle or a cousin open up to trying new foods, it’s unlikely to instantly make them go vegan. Neither is trying to force family members to follow such a lifestyle or giving them ultimatums like the one the OP’s brother gave, telling the family that he will be absent if anyone at all is served meat on Thanksgiving.

Clearly, that didn’t work and even resulted in Thanksgiving dinner being canceled altogether. Choosing to work instead of spending time with her family made the redditor wonder if she was a jerk to her family, but fellow netizens didn’t think she was; they shared their thoughts in the comments.

The OP asked netizens to share their opinions, and share they did

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