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Militantly Vegan Man Tries To Ruin Possibly The Last Thanksgiving With The Whole Family
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Militantly Vegan Man Tries To Ruin Possibly The Last Thanksgiving With The Whole Family

Interview Militantly Vegan Man Tries To Ruin Possibly The Last Thanksgiving With The Whole Family“I’ve Slipped Into The Twilight Zone”: Woman Refuses To Cater To Vegan Brother On ThanksgivingWoman Accused Of Choosing Turkey Over Family As She Refuses To Change The Menu For BrotherMilitantly Vegan Bro Refuses To Come For Thanksgiving If Meat Is Served, Sister Finds A Way Out“It’s His Entire Personality”: Man Threatens Not To Attend Thanksgiving If It’s Not Vegan“Militantly Vegan”: Vegan Brother Demands Special Treatment, Ruins Thanksgiving For The Family“I’m Putting Turkey Over My Own Family”: Vegan Thanksgiving Demands Spark Family FeudVegan Threatens To Skip Thanksgiving If Demands Aren’t Met, Sister Stands Firm As Tensions RiseMan’s Vegan Ultimatum Ruins Thanksgiving, Leaves Sister Torn Between Family And TraditionWoman Sticks To Traditional Thanksgiving Menu, Causes Drama As Her Brother Is Militantly Vegan
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The holidays can be a fun time for the family to get together and share some good food. But it can also become a total headache for everyone involved, especially for the host.

In this redditor’s family, this year, she became the one to welcome the family in her home for Thanksgiving. She was also the person who had to make sure the food was in order, and that meant preparing something vegan for her brother and his girlfriend to eat. But the compromise of having some vegan dishes alongside meat was not good enough for him.

Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interviews with the OP themselves, as well as with a registered dietitian-nutritionist, Jane Burrell, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about the vegan diet.

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    Many holidays entail serving certain staples

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

    This woman’s “militantly vegan” brother refused to come for Thanksgiving if meat was going to be served to anyone

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    Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Cedric Fauntleroy (not the actual photo)

    Image source: Suspicious-Basil7882

    Having diverse foods on the table can make feeding family members following different diets an easier task

    Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)

    Cooking for the entire family can be a pain in the neck for many reasons; the quantity alone can make someone curse hard at the stove. Not to mention the allergies, the food preferences, the dietary restrictions, and the picky eaters in the family, having to take all of which into consideration can make the person want to leave the kitchen altogether.

    But some people are determined enough to make it work. While it might not be easy, it’s important for them to be supportive of their loved ones and their food choices. According to registered dietitian-nutritionist Jane Burrell, “Eating habits are personal and many styles of eating can be healthy, and it is important to allow for this individuality and support each other.”

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    The expert suggests that when there are vegans in the family, a typical get-together doesn’t necessarily have to be all vegan, and combining several different dishes and making some alterations is a safe bet. For instance, a nice salad or deliciously made vegetables is something that vegans and non-vegans alike can enjoy. Using vegetable stock instead of chicken stock is also a small step to take in the kitchen, but a big one, in regards to how many people can enjoy the dish.

    Another great way to make sure everyone is happy is asking guests to bring a dish themselves, this way alleviating the load for the host and ensuring that everyone has something to eat. Unfortunately, the OP’s brother refused to bring something to the family gathering, which is what upset the woman the most about the situation. “I’m annoyed that my brother is trying to control what I eat in my own home,” she told Bored Panda. “He’s welcome to come eat the vegetarian items or bring his own food. He’s just not going to dictate what I or my parents eat.

    “My brother has always been a bit self-centered but his personality really started to change and become obsessive and demanding when he became a vegetarian. His behavior is problematic aside from the food issue, but it did really seem to begin at the same time as the diet change, so it’s a chicken or egg question,” she added.

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    The woman shared that, in her opinion, her sibling doesn’t make a lot of time for the family, unless he wants something. “He has a habit of making poor life choices and then asking our parents to bail him out. I think he keeps just enough contact with our mom to ensure she’ll come to the rescue the next time he needs money or a place to crash.”

    There’s no one diet that fits everyone, which is why it’s better not to insist that someone eats the same way you do

    Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)

    Another benefit of guests bringing a dish they like for everyone to try is a chance for their loved ones to expand their horizons in regards to food. Though, anyone who’s ever told their uncle that not everything has to be deep fried or has ever told their cousin that having pizza for dinner five times a week might not be a good idea knows just how difficult it can be to make someone broaden said horizons.

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    Take veganism, for instance, something that the OP’s brother swears by. According to Statista’s data from Europe, roughly 3% of people in his age group—millennials—are vegan. In the US, the exact number of vegan millennials is unclear, however, according to 2023 data, roughly 1% of the population in the country followed this type of diet.

    Those who are not keen on excluding animal-based products from their menu often say that it’s impossible to lead a healthy lifestyle following a vegan diet. But according to Jane Burrell, as long as a person follows a well-balanced diet, making sure that they get enough of the necessary elements, it is possible to live a nutrient-rich life. That, of course, doesn’t mean that a vegan, or any other diet, that works for one person, will work for everyone.

    “A vegan diet may be less processed than a traditional diet and that has implications for improving the balance of good bacteria in the gut, is associated with lower blood lipids like LDL cholesterol, healthier body composition, and reducing risk of disease,” Burrell noted. “However, this does not mean that a vegan diet is always better. When we review nutrition research, we must consider that there are associations between dietary intake and health, but these associations do not necessarily mean that a certain way of eating is the only healthy way to go.”

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    While bringing a vegan dish or two to a family dinner might help an uncle or a cousin open up to trying new foods, it’s unlikely to instantly make them go vegan. Neither is trying to force family members to follow such a lifestyle or giving them ultimatums like the one the OP’s brother gave, telling the family that he will be absent if anyone at all is served meat on Thanksgiving.

    Clearly, that didn’t work and even resulted in Thanksgiving dinner being canceled altogether. Choosing to work instead of spending time with her family made the redditor wonder if she was a jerk to her family, but fellow netizens didn’t think she was; they shared their thoughts in the comments.

    The OP asked netizens to share their opinions, and share they did

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    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Ieva Pečiulytė

    Ieva Pečiulytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

    Read less »

    Ieva Pečiulytė

    Ieva Pečiulytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

    Do you think the sister should have accommodated her brother's vegan request for Thanksgiving?
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    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These particular vegans are just a bunch of dictators: they want to impose their way of life on others.

    Alex
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely agree. They're despicable. I'd personally probably still cave in because I'd be worried about my mother in that situation. I understand that turkey is a staple for Thanksgiving, and I'd be annoyed for havong to missm out on it, but for me family (not AH brother, but mother) would come first.

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    Bookworm
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last ESH doesn't begin to make sense. That's... not how hosting a meal works. And OP didn't 'comment on anyone else's choices,' they offered to make vegan options, and before that, told Mark that they didn't want to hear any more about veganism because he was being a jerk about it. It's not judging other people's 'choices' to tell them you don't want to be lectured about their choices.

    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vegans: (viciously force their views on everyone) -- Also vegans: "Why does everyone hate us so much; what did we do?"

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The OP specified "militant". Militant vegans are quite different from regular vegans who socialize with non-vegans and don't impose their views. My acceptance of regular vegans is based on my personal experience with several co-workers, two in-laws, etc.

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    Celestial Phalanx
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry to say that Mark and Pam are a pair of entitled, sanctimonious bullying bigots who want to impose their way of life on others under threat of throwing a tantrum. I wouldn't entertain their nonsense for a second, and wouldn't miss their absence.

    Laura Gillette
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. I am very grateful my one vegan cousin is chill and just A. brings a vegan dish to share with everyone, B. eats all the veggie sides everyone else brings, and C. says absolutely nothing to anyone about what they're eating. If I make a dessert to bring, I always look to see if there's a way to make it vegan so she can have some.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If either of my vegan friends comes to visit, I just make everything vegan, then I don't have to signpost anything, they are really pleased, and frankly I like showing off....

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    Nemo
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to turn the Thanksgiving turkey into a Thanksgiving tea. No meat, some cookies, claim that quality family time doesn't have to revolve around food and be done with it

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    according to OP that's not an option because mom insists on having the meal. I think the brother gets his unwillingness to compromise from mama. Mom wants ALL the kids AND a meal and is unwilling to deal with anything else, no matter what's right or fair or even makes sense. Mom and Brother just want what they want and don't seem to care that neither of them is doing anything to contribute, are putting it all on OP to do all the work and make all the sacrifices to appease both of them.

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    Kay Wil
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you’ve done your best at accommodating them, if they don’t like it, then it’s on them. I have many serious allergies, anaphylactic to many things, so wherever I go, if I know eating is involved I take my own food or I won’t eat anything except extremely safe foods I know. I took a plate of food with me to a church function one time, I hid it under all this stuff but I had it very clearly marked with my name and it was Gluten, dairy etc free food only for me. Someone took it from the fridge and didn’t just put it out on the table to share, they put on a plate with other food. Someone took it I couldn’t eat it as it had been contaminated by the other food. I was so upset by it all, after no one would own up to even doing it and apologising, I went home. I needed to eat to take my medication and I couldn’t do that. If I was you, I would give them an ultimatum they come and eat like human beings for their Mother’s sake or they can stick it and then go swap youshift.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They always talk about how cows produce methane that's warming the planet. I am doing my best to help by eating the cows.

    LandAhoy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That argument is null and void: the only reason the cows' methane exists is because human-ish creatures such as yourself insist on raising and killing cows in such despicable ways.

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    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was put on a strict diet for years. I never was an a*****e to others at social gatherings I was invited to. I just ate what I could, enjoyed the company, and then grabbed more food when I got home. There are plenty of non animal products at a traditional Thanksgiving dinner a vegan can eat.

    Gandalf the Pink
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to be vegan for political reasons, then I became a vegan for ethical reasons, then I was a vegan for personal reasons, then I tried some cheese again and now I am a vegetarian, oops

    Harry Verner
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except if ur not a breatharyan ur not a vegan & never was. Countless bugs die growing any food. Bugs r animals just not cute animals. Therefore no1 is a true vegans Except the 20k or so people who liv off the suns light

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    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if they are so set to control everything, they can host. "They live in a van"? they can get an airbnb an host.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Person X is causing issues, please just cater to their demands to keep the peace" never works; it just teaches Person X that they can get their way if they make a big enough fuss . OP can't keep the peace because he isn't the one breaking it.

    Anna V
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I honestly wonder what happens if Mark and Pam have children. Pediatricians in my country say that meat protein is absolutely necessary for the growth of a child up to a certain age. If there are sufficient alternatives, I'd say it's OK, but if not, what happens then? Anyway claiming that they won't attend dinner if anyone else has meat is so selfish to say at least

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think there's any evidence that being vegetarian/vegan hurts kids as long as their diet still has protein, vitamins, etc. Plenty of lactose-intolerant and milk-allergy babies grow up on soy formula with no issues. I'd be more concerned that any children would end up living in a van with their entire life turned into 'content.'

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    Jihana
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone should just go to a good restaurant and then go back to OPs house for coffee. The brother and his girlfriend are only invited to the second part. Don't tell them beforehand that there will not be any food, just tell them there won't be any meat. Let them go hungry for an evening.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have thanksgiving. Invite the militant vegans, and set a clear time for the event, eg 12pm-2pm. Serve a vegetarian antipasto or charcuterie. Have the turkey in the oven cooking for 4pm dinner with the other carnivores. Accomodate the vegans because they're family, but don't cave to vegan bullying.

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pam and Mark are unwilling to come to a house where meat is being served, they're definitely not going to be okay with a house that's currently cooking a dead bird. They'll show up and leavee and mom will be just as upset with OP

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    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's always that one ESH / YTA that does not disappoint with the expectation and their illogical rationale ...

    Michael Parsons
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Main challenge here is mom is not being logical. She is defaulting to which son she thinks she can pressure. She knows the vegan simply won't change his mind, so she's pressuring OP because he's the path of least resistance. Her position has nothing to do with right or wrong, fair or unfair. She's just thinking about who is most likely to cave.

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom is just as unwilling to compromise and be reasonable as the brother. She won't accept a non-food get together to allow both her kids to attend happily, and she won't accept having a meal with just one of them. So she's trying to force OP to do all the work and make all the concessions she she gets what she wants (which depends on the brother getting what he wants).

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    LandAhoy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Would you like to attend my party next weekend? It's the best party in the world, with guests such as Kamala Harris, the King of the UK, Britney Spears, Keanu Reeves, and many more.Wanna come? Only thing is, we'll be eating the barbecued human remains of human murder victims who were tortured and killed. What? You suddenly don't want to come?! How dare you want to opt out, just because we are cannibals, you can bring your own non-cannibal food, and you don't get to tell us that we shouldn't torture and kill people?!

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    Edward Treen
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They're despicable zealots: you can believe what you want, but you don't tell me to change any part of my life to accommodate your beliefs or lifestyle.

    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next you will tell me they are Christian Nationalists and MAGA members. They are just warming up for when they rule America.

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    Clara Stallworth
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To OP: NTA, your house, your rules! You offered to make at least one vegan dish on Thanksgiving, they refused, their problem! To the person who thinks ESH: Did you even bother to read the WHOLE story?? Just saying...

    Harry Verner
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless thy are breatharyans thy r not vegans. Lots of animals die growing veggies. I gro lots of my food. Lots of things get killed. If thy can't hav milk or honey bc of the harm caused to animals the death of them should exclude the eating of said fruit/veggies. This is only to try & claim thy r superior even tho thy are inadvertently causing the death of less cute animals (bugs). Only eat the son or don't claim to b vegan

    Lee Banks
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's become their identity, not just a choice. I was veg for 15 years, and vegan for 8. Seeing my family, and showing them awesome alternatives (afterwards) was always a joy. Shoot, my mom now eats less meat than I do. Your brother is being a bit of a that. Edit: My friends and I have always had a vegan Thanksgiving. It's so they can enjoy things the same way they could with mostly estranged families. It's always been great.

    Harry Verner
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If ur eating any meat u r neither. There aren't many tru vegans. Bugs die growing food. Bugs r animals. Breatharyans r the only tru vegans. Thy liv off the sun

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    Squirrelly Panda
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have dinner early and have brother over for dessert and coffee. It won't be a family dinner, but the best Mom can hope for with the vegan brother tantrums

    Chich
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very simple solution. You have one less family member. I have zero time for asshats like him. Declare him dead to you. Mom will get through her grieving. Hold a wake it helps.

    Max Fox
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are vegans, and there are Vegans. Regular vegans, like vegetarians, choose not to eat and use animal sourced food and objects. VEGANS (AKA militant Vegans) are a cult which sees Veganism and The One True Path, and behave the exact same way as any self-righteous religious fanatic.

    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are the ones I ask if they know what their vegan leather is made of. Prehistoric meat so...

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What do you do if they don't use leather? There is also fake leather nowadays..

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    Steve Robert
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell them to go suck a turkey leg! They both sound like real fruitcakes. And they eat plants that were once living organisms. Pretty hippocritical of them imo.

    Marno C.
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark and Pam are being obnoxious babies, but Mom is the real issue here. She's enabling it. She won't host the gathering but she wants OP to do what Mom wants. Mom says family gatherings have to include big meals. Mom is fretting that she could die and that these gatherings mean *so much* to her (She's not dying). She could either compromise on her wants or she could lay it out for Mark and Pam that they are being waaaay too involved in other people's choices and they get reasonable accommodations for themselves, nothing more. But, nope. Mom is choosing to enable their nonsense and now gets no family meals for the foreseeable future. As an aside, I think OP could tell Mark and Pam that she's happy to do things their way because she just joined an intense new religion and will be using the meal to proselytize since it's for everyone's own good. And, hey, fair's fair! She's gonna feed their bodies the way they demand and then she's gonna feed their souls the way she demands.

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Militant vegan and keep-peace parents. Two of my most hated things in the world. I regret reading this post.

    Sunny Day
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If Mark & Pam don't get their vegan feast at OPs house - where are they planning to have it? I doubt their van has much in the way of cooking capability, and restaurants are going to be serving meat.

    Peter Bear
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, that is your choice and I respect it. You are welcome anytime as a guest, as long as you are willing to respect my choices. If you cannot, then it would be better for us both if you don't attend. See you later!

    Damned_Cat
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So OP's mom says she is putting turkey over family, but isn't the brother and his girlfriend doing the same thing? In fact, I think he is worse because OP is willing to make some compromises, but the brother will make none.

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brother and girlfriend are putting their need to be evangelists over family, mom is putting her hallmark movie vision of a "family dinner" over actual family harmony, and OP is stick in the middle

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    Captain Grump
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes being "right" ain't all it's cracked up to be. It's one meal, and it's important to the Mom that the son and girlfriend come. Order in a vegan meal from a local restaurant if you can't cook it, or do your best with some recipes, store-bought hummus, etc. Yes, OP's brother is a flaming a-hole. Down the road, when the parents have passed away, she can cut him out of her life. In the meantime, suck it up and do something nice for your Mom.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely correct. Yes brother is a hole and girlfriend even more so, but if you are genuinely fond of your mother and she of you, make a vegan Thanksgiving. It won't be traditional in terms of food, but it will be in terms of getting family around the table. And with a bit of luck he will be totally pïssed off at losing the moral high ground.

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    G A
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friends wife went vegan, ostensibly for health reasons. Wasn't long before she started sending me links to videos of calves crying for their mothers (they are physically incapable of shedding tears). She's a pain in the a**e. I've no interest in giving up meat. She is like a born again Christian or someone who's given up smoking.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Send her those videos back from all the hunting channels of grown men whispering in the dark wearing full camo right before they shoot Bambi in the face.

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    Vinnie
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ones I've met have been easy to get on with because they wanted to get along with others. One of my nephews dated a vegan. Wasn't hard to accommodate them: make sure there are vegan options. My sister would order a vegan cake - and it was amaaaaazing.

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    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark can cook at Mum's, or a hired kitchen and bring the food over. Or Mum and Mark can fund a catered vegan meal. Why are they both equally bad at solving the problems that the restrictions they impose cause? THAT'S what the constant problem is here.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark and his girlfrien don't want to resolve the issue, they want to convert everyone to veganism willingly or not.

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    Helen Rohrlach
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they want a vegan Thanksgiving, they can host and pay for it at a restaurant.

    Lyn Davies
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually manage to shut AH vegans with 2 questions 1) I ask them what the difference is between being a hard-core vegetarian & a vegan is? Usually the answer is a vegan doesn't use or consume anything that comes from an animal. 2) how are you alive? As air can be an animal byproduct due to the fact that plants take in the carbon dioxide from animals to make it. This usually gets them to walk away in a huff as they can't disagree as I'm factually correct.

    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask them if they are willing organ recipients. If she swallows. As for van subculture. It's reduced carbon impact, reduced expenses. And it's not new by any stretch. Trailer parks... Gypsies. Etc. I detest this type of person. They will be the death of freedom.

    Pandroid Rebellion
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have a right to strongly held beliefs and to be unable to enjoy the holiday with meat there. They do not have a right to impose it on others. These people need to start a non food related tradition. It does not matter if that part used to be Mom's favorite part. Her kids grew up and the dynamic changed. The answer is no and she needs to stop forcing her delusional quest for a memory that will never happen on her family.

    dudovich13
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Friend of mine, his 20-year old daughter told her family, I'm going vegan. Her mother told her, you have three options: go eat elsewhere, buy your own food, or starve, and she didn't cater to any needs except dad's. Needless to say she gave it up after about a month.

    Momma Jess
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eeeeewwwww...people like that are exhausting. A long time friend/surrogate dad is vegan, it's a big part of his personality, but do we clash? Nope. I learned how to make some badass vegan dishes, I've tried some of his vegan stuff, and we find middle ground when eating out. No issues whatsoever.

    Insomniac
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever I see an article about militant vegans ruining an occasion, I make myself a double cheeseburger or something. Basically, I eat a large portion of meat outside of my normal planned consumption. Just because I'm annoyed. So the vegans are actually causing more animal death by being jerks because I am eating extra meat to spite them. It's fun when it's a social media post where I can engage directly with the vegans and tell them I'm doing it. I know it's immature. But I hate it when they'll upset others because they can't control them.

    Coryn Weigle
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom wants food at the gamily gettogether. So host the traditional feast for your parents, and maybe friends, then clean away leftovers etc. Before your brother an girlfriend arrive for vegan dexert

    meeeeeeeeeeee
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they were serving a cooked up dog then would the overall reaction to this story be different? AITA cause I refuse to watch people eat a puppy? I don't even like the idea of roasted dog in my face and I'm not going unless they serve not dogmeat,

    Insomniac
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fourth annoying comment judging meat eaters. I'm already doing a brisket, a turkey dinner, and a pulled-pork party... hmmm, maybe I'll do up a few huge roasts and make sandwiches to hand out to street people. Ooh! I'm doing a good deed! Congratulations, meeeee! Hungry people would be fed because you made an obnoxious comment!

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    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop thinking about Mark and Pam and how annoying they are. The choice here is between your mom’s feelings and a c**p Thanksgiving for everyone else. Who is attending? If it is just you, your husband, your parents and Mark and Pam, I would suck it up and cook a turkey later. If there are a dozen other people coming or you have kids, then be candid with your mother that you are not going to trade off everyone’s holiday for her feelings but you will meet at a vegan brunch place with them over the Thanksgiving period.

    Stacy Bender
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it were me, I'd start asking about how they manage to get all their vitamins/minerals. Humans are omnivores, and true vegan diets can effect health after a few years. Then I'd mention that most herbivores will eat meat when the opportunity arise. Those deer everyone moons over will eat BABY BIRDS. And if they come across a corpse, they will eat the fingers. Their after the calcium. FYI keep your horses & cows away from your newly hatched chicks. Other so called herbivores are pretty shady as well.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do hope this one is fake. Vegan terrorists strike again, tell them to go to Hell and the sooner the better! About people living in vans, some of my friends have this way of lif and it's not uncomfortable at al (no lie, I was surprsed the first time I saw it). Most of them got part-time jobs or fixed term contracts and when it ends or they are fed up with the job, they move somewhere else. It's really cheaper than renting nowadays.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you know how sad it is that we have to actually specify that it's cheaper to live in your car than to rent an apartment, like we secretly expect living in our car is ALSO going to cost more than we could afford?

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    LandAhoy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I know that nobody will believe me based on my comments, but I'm not a militant vegan, I'm not even a vegetarian, I eat meat. But I feel a bit s****y about it every time that I do. If my vegan aunt asked for a vegan only thanksgiving, I would deliver. I feel bad enough eating animals some of the time as a flexitarian. If suggested that the meal should be vegan, I'd follow.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, that's gross. You actually eat animals? After all that joking about eating humans? Totally abhorrent behavior.

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    Cathy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    😭 Another anti-vegan post. Makes me sad. I do not go to BBQ parties or meat centered parties. When I see the meat, and especially when it still clearly has the shape of an animal, it really makes me sad and I see and feel the death, the sadness the louzy life these animals have had. That said, I always offer/volunteer to host, pay all the expenses and such. I do not dictate what others do in their house but I do not want to be part of the suffering anymore.

    Insomniac
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Comment number five... well, I'm already doing up a big brisket, having a turkey dinner party with friends, having a family pulled pork party, and making a bunch of roast beef sandwiches for street people. Now, for you.... boeuf bourgignone. I'll make boeuf bourgignone on my next Lentil Soup night. I mean, the one after my turkey dinner party. I'd have been fine with you saying that seeing meat makes you sad, but complaining about anti-vegan posts is annoying.

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    Cathy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    To anyone who saus vegans are dictators: we want to give a voice to those who are not heard. We want to end all the pain and suffering animals go through. You know what we see when we see meat or turkey? Check out this movie: https://www.dominionmovement.com/watch

    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "we want to give a voice to animals who can't talk, also that 'voice' is just acting like humans are so much better than other animals that we shouldn't eat animals"

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    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These particular vegans are just a bunch of dictators: they want to impose their way of life on others.

    Alex
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely agree. They're despicable. I'd personally probably still cave in because I'd be worried about my mother in that situation. I understand that turkey is a staple for Thanksgiving, and I'd be annoyed for havong to missm out on it, but for me family (not AH brother, but mother) would come first.

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    Bookworm
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last ESH doesn't begin to make sense. That's... not how hosting a meal works. And OP didn't 'comment on anyone else's choices,' they offered to make vegan options, and before that, told Mark that they didn't want to hear any more about veganism because he was being a jerk about it. It's not judging other people's 'choices' to tell them you don't want to be lectured about their choices.

    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vegans: (viciously force their views on everyone) -- Also vegans: "Why does everyone hate us so much; what did we do?"

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The OP specified "militant". Militant vegans are quite different from regular vegans who socialize with non-vegans and don't impose their views. My acceptance of regular vegans is based on my personal experience with several co-workers, two in-laws, etc.

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    Celestial Phalanx
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry to say that Mark and Pam are a pair of entitled, sanctimonious bullying bigots who want to impose their way of life on others under threat of throwing a tantrum. I wouldn't entertain their nonsense for a second, and wouldn't miss their absence.

    Laura Gillette
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. I am very grateful my one vegan cousin is chill and just A. brings a vegan dish to share with everyone, B. eats all the veggie sides everyone else brings, and C. says absolutely nothing to anyone about what they're eating. If I make a dessert to bring, I always look to see if there's a way to make it vegan so she can have some.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If either of my vegan friends comes to visit, I just make everything vegan, then I don't have to signpost anything, they are really pleased, and frankly I like showing off....

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    Nemo
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to turn the Thanksgiving turkey into a Thanksgiving tea. No meat, some cookies, claim that quality family time doesn't have to revolve around food and be done with it

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    according to OP that's not an option because mom insists on having the meal. I think the brother gets his unwillingness to compromise from mama. Mom wants ALL the kids AND a meal and is unwilling to deal with anything else, no matter what's right or fair or even makes sense. Mom and Brother just want what they want and don't seem to care that neither of them is doing anything to contribute, are putting it all on OP to do all the work and make all the sacrifices to appease both of them.

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    Kay Wil
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you’ve done your best at accommodating them, if they don’t like it, then it’s on them. I have many serious allergies, anaphylactic to many things, so wherever I go, if I know eating is involved I take my own food or I won’t eat anything except extremely safe foods I know. I took a plate of food with me to a church function one time, I hid it under all this stuff but I had it very clearly marked with my name and it was Gluten, dairy etc free food only for me. Someone took it from the fridge and didn’t just put it out on the table to share, they put on a plate with other food. Someone took it I couldn’t eat it as it had been contaminated by the other food. I was so upset by it all, after no one would own up to even doing it and apologising, I went home. I needed to eat to take my medication and I couldn’t do that. If I was you, I would give them an ultimatum they come and eat like human beings for their Mother’s sake or they can stick it and then go swap youshift.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They always talk about how cows produce methane that's warming the planet. I am doing my best to help by eating the cows.

    LandAhoy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That argument is null and void: the only reason the cows' methane exists is because human-ish creatures such as yourself insist on raising and killing cows in such despicable ways.

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    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was put on a strict diet for years. I never was an a*****e to others at social gatherings I was invited to. I just ate what I could, enjoyed the company, and then grabbed more food when I got home. There are plenty of non animal products at a traditional Thanksgiving dinner a vegan can eat.

    Gandalf the Pink
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to be vegan for political reasons, then I became a vegan for ethical reasons, then I was a vegan for personal reasons, then I tried some cheese again and now I am a vegetarian, oops

    Harry Verner
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except if ur not a breatharyan ur not a vegan & never was. Countless bugs die growing any food. Bugs r animals just not cute animals. Therefore no1 is a true vegans Except the 20k or so people who liv off the suns light

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    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if they are so set to control everything, they can host. "They live in a van"? they can get an airbnb an host.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Person X is causing issues, please just cater to their demands to keep the peace" never works; it just teaches Person X that they can get their way if they make a big enough fuss . OP can't keep the peace because he isn't the one breaking it.

    Anna V
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I honestly wonder what happens if Mark and Pam have children. Pediatricians in my country say that meat protein is absolutely necessary for the growth of a child up to a certain age. If there are sufficient alternatives, I'd say it's OK, but if not, what happens then? Anyway claiming that they won't attend dinner if anyone else has meat is so selfish to say at least

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think there's any evidence that being vegetarian/vegan hurts kids as long as their diet still has protein, vitamins, etc. Plenty of lactose-intolerant and milk-allergy babies grow up on soy formula with no issues. I'd be more concerned that any children would end up living in a van with their entire life turned into 'content.'

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    Jihana
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone should just go to a good restaurant and then go back to OPs house for coffee. The brother and his girlfriend are only invited to the second part. Don't tell them beforehand that there will not be any food, just tell them there won't be any meat. Let them go hungry for an evening.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have thanksgiving. Invite the militant vegans, and set a clear time for the event, eg 12pm-2pm. Serve a vegetarian antipasto or charcuterie. Have the turkey in the oven cooking for 4pm dinner with the other carnivores. Accomodate the vegans because they're family, but don't cave to vegan bullying.

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pam and Mark are unwilling to come to a house where meat is being served, they're definitely not going to be okay with a house that's currently cooking a dead bird. They'll show up and leavee and mom will be just as upset with OP

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    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's always that one ESH / YTA that does not disappoint with the expectation and their illogical rationale ...

    Michael Parsons
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Main challenge here is mom is not being logical. She is defaulting to which son she thinks she can pressure. She knows the vegan simply won't change his mind, so she's pressuring OP because he's the path of least resistance. Her position has nothing to do with right or wrong, fair or unfair. She's just thinking about who is most likely to cave.

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom is just as unwilling to compromise and be reasonable as the brother. She won't accept a non-food get together to allow both her kids to attend happily, and she won't accept having a meal with just one of them. So she's trying to force OP to do all the work and make all the concessions she she gets what she wants (which depends on the brother getting what he wants).

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    LandAhoy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Would you like to attend my party next weekend? It's the best party in the world, with guests such as Kamala Harris, the King of the UK, Britney Spears, Keanu Reeves, and many more.Wanna come? Only thing is, we'll be eating the barbecued human remains of human murder victims who were tortured and killed. What? You suddenly don't want to come?! How dare you want to opt out, just because we are cannibals, you can bring your own non-cannibal food, and you don't get to tell us that we shouldn't torture and kill people?!

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    Edward Treen
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They're despicable zealots: you can believe what you want, but you don't tell me to change any part of my life to accommodate your beliefs or lifestyle.

    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next you will tell me they are Christian Nationalists and MAGA members. They are just warming up for when they rule America.

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    Clara Stallworth
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To OP: NTA, your house, your rules! You offered to make at least one vegan dish on Thanksgiving, they refused, their problem! To the person who thinks ESH: Did you even bother to read the WHOLE story?? Just saying...

    Harry Verner
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless thy are breatharyans thy r not vegans. Lots of animals die growing veggies. I gro lots of my food. Lots of things get killed. If thy can't hav milk or honey bc of the harm caused to animals the death of them should exclude the eating of said fruit/veggies. This is only to try & claim thy r superior even tho thy are inadvertently causing the death of less cute animals (bugs). Only eat the son or don't claim to b vegan

    Lee Banks
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's become their identity, not just a choice. I was veg for 15 years, and vegan for 8. Seeing my family, and showing them awesome alternatives (afterwards) was always a joy. Shoot, my mom now eats less meat than I do. Your brother is being a bit of a that. Edit: My friends and I have always had a vegan Thanksgiving. It's so they can enjoy things the same way they could with mostly estranged families. It's always been great.

    Harry Verner
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If ur eating any meat u r neither. There aren't many tru vegans. Bugs die growing food. Bugs r animals. Breatharyans r the only tru vegans. Thy liv off the sun

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    Squirrelly Panda
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have dinner early and have brother over for dessert and coffee. It won't be a family dinner, but the best Mom can hope for with the vegan brother tantrums

    Chich
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very simple solution. You have one less family member. I have zero time for asshats like him. Declare him dead to you. Mom will get through her grieving. Hold a wake it helps.

    Max Fox
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are vegans, and there are Vegans. Regular vegans, like vegetarians, choose not to eat and use animal sourced food and objects. VEGANS (AKA militant Vegans) are a cult which sees Veganism and The One True Path, and behave the exact same way as any self-righteous religious fanatic.

    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are the ones I ask if they know what their vegan leather is made of. Prehistoric meat so...

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What do you do if they don't use leather? There is also fake leather nowadays..

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    Steve Robert
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell them to go suck a turkey leg! They both sound like real fruitcakes. And they eat plants that were once living organisms. Pretty hippocritical of them imo.

    Marno C.
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark and Pam are being obnoxious babies, but Mom is the real issue here. She's enabling it. She won't host the gathering but she wants OP to do what Mom wants. Mom says family gatherings have to include big meals. Mom is fretting that she could die and that these gatherings mean *so much* to her (She's not dying). She could either compromise on her wants or she could lay it out for Mark and Pam that they are being waaaay too involved in other people's choices and they get reasonable accommodations for themselves, nothing more. But, nope. Mom is choosing to enable their nonsense and now gets no family meals for the foreseeable future. As an aside, I think OP could tell Mark and Pam that she's happy to do things their way because she just joined an intense new religion and will be using the meal to proselytize since it's for everyone's own good. And, hey, fair's fair! She's gonna feed their bodies the way they demand and then she's gonna feed their souls the way she demands.

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Militant vegan and keep-peace parents. Two of my most hated things in the world. I regret reading this post.

    Sunny Day
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If Mark & Pam don't get their vegan feast at OPs house - where are they planning to have it? I doubt their van has much in the way of cooking capability, and restaurants are going to be serving meat.

    Peter Bear
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, that is your choice and I respect it. You are welcome anytime as a guest, as long as you are willing to respect my choices. If you cannot, then it would be better for us both if you don't attend. See you later!

    Damned_Cat
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So OP's mom says she is putting turkey over family, but isn't the brother and his girlfriend doing the same thing? In fact, I think he is worse because OP is willing to make some compromises, but the brother will make none.

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brother and girlfriend are putting their need to be evangelists over family, mom is putting her hallmark movie vision of a "family dinner" over actual family harmony, and OP is stick in the middle

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    Captain Grump
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes being "right" ain't all it's cracked up to be. It's one meal, and it's important to the Mom that the son and girlfriend come. Order in a vegan meal from a local restaurant if you can't cook it, or do your best with some recipes, store-bought hummus, etc. Yes, OP's brother is a flaming a-hole. Down the road, when the parents have passed away, she can cut him out of her life. In the meantime, suck it up and do something nice for your Mom.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely correct. Yes brother is a hole and girlfriend even more so, but if you are genuinely fond of your mother and she of you, make a vegan Thanksgiving. It won't be traditional in terms of food, but it will be in terms of getting family around the table. And with a bit of luck he will be totally pïssed off at losing the moral high ground.

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    G A
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friends wife went vegan, ostensibly for health reasons. Wasn't long before she started sending me links to videos of calves crying for their mothers (they are physically incapable of shedding tears). She's a pain in the a**e. I've no interest in giving up meat. She is like a born again Christian or someone who's given up smoking.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Send her those videos back from all the hunting channels of grown men whispering in the dark wearing full camo right before they shoot Bambi in the face.

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    Vinnie
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ones I've met have been easy to get on with because they wanted to get along with others. One of my nephews dated a vegan. Wasn't hard to accommodate them: make sure there are vegan options. My sister would order a vegan cake - and it was amaaaaazing.

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    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark can cook at Mum's, or a hired kitchen and bring the food over. Or Mum and Mark can fund a catered vegan meal. Why are they both equally bad at solving the problems that the restrictions they impose cause? THAT'S what the constant problem is here.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark and his girlfrien don't want to resolve the issue, they want to convert everyone to veganism willingly or not.

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    Helen Rohrlach
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they want a vegan Thanksgiving, they can host and pay for it at a restaurant.

    Lyn Davies
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually manage to shut AH vegans with 2 questions 1) I ask them what the difference is between being a hard-core vegetarian & a vegan is? Usually the answer is a vegan doesn't use or consume anything that comes from an animal. 2) how are you alive? As air can be an animal byproduct due to the fact that plants take in the carbon dioxide from animals to make it. This usually gets them to walk away in a huff as they can't disagree as I'm factually correct.

    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask them if they are willing organ recipients. If she swallows. As for van subculture. It's reduced carbon impact, reduced expenses. And it's not new by any stretch. Trailer parks... Gypsies. Etc. I detest this type of person. They will be the death of freedom.

    Pandroid Rebellion
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have a right to strongly held beliefs and to be unable to enjoy the holiday with meat there. They do not have a right to impose it on others. These people need to start a non food related tradition. It does not matter if that part used to be Mom's favorite part. Her kids grew up and the dynamic changed. The answer is no and she needs to stop forcing her delusional quest for a memory that will never happen on her family.

    dudovich13
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Friend of mine, his 20-year old daughter told her family, I'm going vegan. Her mother told her, you have three options: go eat elsewhere, buy your own food, or starve, and she didn't cater to any needs except dad's. Needless to say she gave it up after about a month.

    Momma Jess
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eeeeewwwww...people like that are exhausting. A long time friend/surrogate dad is vegan, it's a big part of his personality, but do we clash? Nope. I learned how to make some badass vegan dishes, I've tried some of his vegan stuff, and we find middle ground when eating out. No issues whatsoever.

    Insomniac
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever I see an article about militant vegans ruining an occasion, I make myself a double cheeseburger or something. Basically, I eat a large portion of meat outside of my normal planned consumption. Just because I'm annoyed. So the vegans are actually causing more animal death by being jerks because I am eating extra meat to spite them. It's fun when it's a social media post where I can engage directly with the vegans and tell them I'm doing it. I know it's immature. But I hate it when they'll upset others because they can't control them.

    Coryn Weigle
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom wants food at the gamily gettogether. So host the traditional feast for your parents, and maybe friends, then clean away leftovers etc. Before your brother an girlfriend arrive for vegan dexert

    meeeeeeeeeeee
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they were serving a cooked up dog then would the overall reaction to this story be different? AITA cause I refuse to watch people eat a puppy? I don't even like the idea of roasted dog in my face and I'm not going unless they serve not dogmeat,

    Insomniac
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fourth annoying comment judging meat eaters. I'm already doing a brisket, a turkey dinner, and a pulled-pork party... hmmm, maybe I'll do up a few huge roasts and make sandwiches to hand out to street people. Ooh! I'm doing a good deed! Congratulations, meeeee! Hungry people would be fed because you made an obnoxious comment!

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    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop thinking about Mark and Pam and how annoying they are. The choice here is between your mom’s feelings and a c**p Thanksgiving for everyone else. Who is attending? If it is just you, your husband, your parents and Mark and Pam, I would suck it up and cook a turkey later. If there are a dozen other people coming or you have kids, then be candid with your mother that you are not going to trade off everyone’s holiday for her feelings but you will meet at a vegan brunch place with them over the Thanksgiving period.

    Stacy Bender
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it were me, I'd start asking about how they manage to get all their vitamins/minerals. Humans are omnivores, and true vegan diets can effect health after a few years. Then I'd mention that most herbivores will eat meat when the opportunity arise. Those deer everyone moons over will eat BABY BIRDS. And if they come across a corpse, they will eat the fingers. Their after the calcium. FYI keep your horses & cows away from your newly hatched chicks. Other so called herbivores are pretty shady as well.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do hope this one is fake. Vegan terrorists strike again, tell them to go to Hell and the sooner the better! About people living in vans, some of my friends have this way of lif and it's not uncomfortable at al (no lie, I was surprsed the first time I saw it). Most of them got part-time jobs or fixed term contracts and when it ends or they are fed up with the job, they move somewhere else. It's really cheaper than renting nowadays.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you know how sad it is that we have to actually specify that it's cheaper to live in your car than to rent an apartment, like we secretly expect living in our car is ALSO going to cost more than we could afford?

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    LandAhoy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I know that nobody will believe me based on my comments, but I'm not a militant vegan, I'm not even a vegetarian, I eat meat. But I feel a bit s****y about it every time that I do. If my vegan aunt asked for a vegan only thanksgiving, I would deliver. I feel bad enough eating animals some of the time as a flexitarian. If suggested that the meal should be vegan, I'd follow.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, that's gross. You actually eat animals? After all that joking about eating humans? Totally abhorrent behavior.

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    Cathy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    😭 Another anti-vegan post. Makes me sad. I do not go to BBQ parties or meat centered parties. When I see the meat, and especially when it still clearly has the shape of an animal, it really makes me sad and I see and feel the death, the sadness the louzy life these animals have had. That said, I always offer/volunteer to host, pay all the expenses and such. I do not dictate what others do in their house but I do not want to be part of the suffering anymore.

    Insomniac
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Comment number five... well, I'm already doing up a big brisket, having a turkey dinner party with friends, having a family pulled pork party, and making a bunch of roast beef sandwiches for street people. Now, for you.... boeuf bourgignone. I'll make boeuf bourgignone on my next Lentil Soup night. I mean, the one after my turkey dinner party. I'd have been fine with you saying that seeing meat makes you sad, but complaining about anti-vegan posts is annoying.

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    Cathy
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    To anyone who saus vegans are dictators: we want to give a voice to those who are not heard. We want to end all the pain and suffering animals go through. You know what we see when we see meat or turkey? Check out this movie: https://www.dominionmovement.com/watch

    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "we want to give a voice to animals who can't talk, also that 'voice' is just acting like humans are so much better than other animals that we shouldn't eat animals"

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