Maybe the YTAs should sit those kids and find out why at least 25 people refuse to sit them AGAIN.

Instead of having more kids maybe they should work on the issue with the ones they already have. Also if there are difficulties during birth there is exactly zero the dad can do to help. So he might as well watch his unmanageable daughters.

What are they doing having another kid when they clearly can't handle the ones they already have? Even if 20 baby sitters is an exaggeration, more than one or two is not normal. Also, violent aggressive behaviour from siblings is a great reason not to bring a helpless sibling in. If sister and her partner were really working on things, it would be different, but the more distance from them them and their kids, the better.

Sister doesn't want a "sit down and in-depth discussion". She wants to convince OP.

Yeah, this won't end well. Why on earth would you add a third child to the mix when you can't even parent the two you have? I don't know what's more unhinged, these two "parents" having another child or those yta people who think OP should suffer because her sister is an idiot. Either way, not your circus, not your monies. You owe her nothing. No is an answer.

Why the either/or for therapy? It sounds like the whole family needs to be in therapy. It isn't normal for kids to be that out of control and being so young, it sounds like the parents need to step up and figure something out, but they have 2 little monsters they can't control, adding a 3rd to it, and the parents deserve whatever chaos occurs.

Got to remember also how many days it might take before the mother can go home and take over the kids? Or if they are constantly fighting with each other will the mother need help at home also? I would also say 'no'. If 20 babysitters can't deal with the two then maybe they need to find two daycares or a professional nanny for them

The grandparents are going to be away when their next grandchild is born that’s why they can’t help??? No. You suck it up and stay there for your daughter. Grandparents have one daughter and OP has the other. Or… OP is there to help sister during the birth and dad looks after their kids.

I'd also be concerned for the safety of the newborn. If the older two are this violent with each other, it's scary to think what they might do to a baby when no one is watching.

She could suggest she goes with the sister when she's having the baby, the husband is only a call away if urgent decisions are required, also they could discuss what might come up based on previous births so everyone knows what possible answers might be. Have a plan and those things written down.

I really fear for this new sibling on the way. Will the girls decide to hate him/her too? Or fight over the baby?

Unless the father is the ob/gyn delivering the baby, he can take care of his own kids.

The sister and her husband, and the two demon spawn, are the AHs, along with all the YTAs. We're all responsible for our own children and NO ONE, even family, is obligated to care for them. How dare they have another child when the two they already have exhibit pathological jealousy and are un-sit table? The sister is an entitled, self centered brat and she's gotten exactly what she deserves.

Maybe saying no will force the parents to realize how bad they’ve let their children get.

Let's start with your sister is a s**t parent. If the kids want to act like animals, put them in cages.

The whole family needs to be in therapy. The animosity between the girls is not "sibling rivalry". My brother always hated me and made my life miserable, with physical and emotional. We finally solved it by never speaking or seeing each other again. (I am now 72) My mother was depressed and couldn't have "fixed" it if she tried. Clearly these kids' relationship is driving babysitters away. The family MUST get something resolved here because the third child is headed for a collision course with the siblings. And don't expect the girls to suddently like each other. They probably won't throughout their lifetimes, but they should be able to be civil enough to co-exist within a family. They need help for THEMSELVES.

I've got much younger twin brothers. When my mum was in hospital they were at the 'fist fighting' stage. Truly! When I was looking after them I'd ask what they wanted on tv and they would disagree. So being the adult I'd make them sit as far apart as I could get them and they had to sit quietly and watch what I wanted. Within 2 days they learned to compromise. The issue seems to be that none of the adults are prepared to be the adult. If they fight over toys then no toys. If they fight over tv then no tv. I don't blame op, her sister needs to step up and learn to patent these brats if they expect people to watch them!

"We don't need a sit down conversation. No is a complete sentence. If you must know, your parenting sucks. So unless it's improved, we won't have this conversation anymore." Since sister hates when people giving her parenting advice, this will surely get her mad and potentially leave Op alone.

They clearly need therapy

they really need some sort of therapy for them & the kids.

I live in Ontario Canada, send them to me. I will take care of them. Worse case is the girls will climb my walls and then when their dad is back home after the delivery he can fix and repaint them.

The sibling rivalry between those sisters is abnormal. One of them could end up killing the other. (This is not a joke. Young kids can kill.) This is the parents' problem. As for when she gives birth: the dad can take sleeping bags and the daughters with him to the waiting room. He will be available to sign any emergency medical release forms. If the girls are bad at the hospital, maybe being kicked out of the hospital will make the family realize those girls need therapy badly and NOW!

I agree with the YTAs. Just take them and keep them separated. Don't knock yourself out trying to make them get along, these behaviors are ingrained by now.

Why not take one kid, and let the parents have the other?

Offer to be with your sister at the delivery in the hospital and leave dad at home with the brats.

NTA These kids need therapy. With her sister's delivery coming up soon, they're not going to have time to find someone willing to babysit these two kids together so they should split them up. OP can take one kid and someone else can take the other. After the baby is born, those kids need to go to therapy. I shudder to think what these two kids will do to a new baby.

I agree with not babysitting the child-monsters, but YTA for not being able to be honest with your sister!!! Someone HAS TO! Obviously she and her husband are obtuse! They refuse to see what is right in front of their eyes. OP if the girls were constantly playing on a freeway in traffic would you not tell the parents how dangerous it was? Why do you think this is any different? Children that have zero control, high impulse, no discipline, won't listen do NOT GET BETTER. They become society's problem.

I would be willing to help out during that time if I were close enough.

NTA. She can give birth without her husband, that's not in anyway dangerous and a complicated delivery is made safer by medical professionals not unqualified husbands. If they want help with a 3rd babies arrival, they should have worked harder to deal with their first two childrens issues.

She definitely is the AH. She could take one. Having a baby could be dangerous. She needs to get out the wooden spoon and bang it on the table and say, try me, and get real scary. I'm not saying beat the kids or anything. Then go bowling or something to keep them busy. Or see if someone else can watch the other kid. Or have the 5 year old in the room while she is giving birth. It may put the 5 year old's mind set differently to see how much work a mom puts in to having a baby. Then have her be the first one to kiss the baby's cheek, sing to her or whatever bonding experience.

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YTA. I get the kids are so terrible no one wants to watch them. Still, You're such a terrible sister, I wouldn't want you as a sibling. Better hope you never need help with something thats inconvenient for others when you have something as important as giving birth to do. Every member of your family seems to think they're the most important person in the world. Those kids that are so awful learned their behavior from somewhere, and I think OP needs to look in the mirror. Things don't have to be easy and fun for them to be worth doing. If you can't help your sister bc you're too petty or too simple minded to best a 4 and 5 yr old, then you're not only TA, but you're also close to useless.