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Dad Never Helped His Daughter, Does The Same For His Son But Expects Her To Do His Job
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Dad Never Helped His Daughter, Does The Same For His Son But Expects Her To Do His Job

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Earning a college degree is a massive accomplishment. It can open countless doors professionally, and graduates should be incredibly proud of how hard they’ve worked to finish their education. But attending classes and writing essays that are 50 pages long is only part of the battle. Another huge hurdle for many students is paying for school.

One woman was recently asked by her father if she would contribute to her brother’s college fund. But because she didn’t have any help paying for her own degree, she refused. Below, you’ll find the full story that she posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.

The financial burden of paying for college can put a strain on many families

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)

AITA for refusing to help pay for my younger brother’s college because my dad never saved up for him?

“I (26F) graduated from college a couple of years ago. I worked my butt off to get through school, juggling scholarships, loans, and part-time jobs to pay for everything on my own. My dad (55M) remarried when I was 18, and I have a half-brother (17M) who’s about to graduate high school.

Recently, my dad asked if I could help out with my brother’s college expenses because he and his wife didn’t save up for it. He said I should be able to afford it now that I have a full-time job, and because I “got lucky” with scholarships, it would only be fair if I helped my brother since “family helps family.”

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I love my brother, but I told my dad I can’t be responsible for his education, especially when I had to figure everything out on my own. My dad didn’t give me any financial support during college, so I don’t see why it’s suddenly my responsibility now. He got mad, called me selfish, and now both my stepmom and brother are giving me the cold shoulder.

I feel guilty because my brother has nothing to do with this, but at the same time, I just started my career and am trying to build a life of my own.

AITA for saying no to helping pay for my brother’s education?”

Credits: darbybarbe

Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)

College students in the United States spend an average of $38,270 per year on their education

Everyone deserves to have an education if they want to pursue one, but unfortunately, higher education is becoming more and more out of reach for those who can’t afford it. 

According to the Education Data Initiative, the average cost of attending college in the United States right now is a whopping $38,270 per year. But it hasn’t always been that way. In fact, the cost of going to a university has more than doubled over the past few decades.

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And some students end up paying much more, depending on where they choose to get their education. For example, the average student attending a private university spends $58,628 per year on their tuition, fees, housing, textbooks and more. 

Plus, when you factor in the interest that grows on student loans and the loss of income that college can cause, just a bachelor’s degree can end up costing graduates over $500,000 over time.

So how do students manage to afford this? For many, like the woman in this particular story, it isn’t easy. Best Colleges reports that the vast majority of students, 82%, have help from their parents when paying for their degree. And a third of parents manage to spend over $10,000 a year on their children’s education. 

The majority of students have help paying for their degrees from their parents, the government and scholarships

Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

But the government can be a huge help as well. In fact, during the 2020-2021 school year, 51% of college students received grants from the federal government. Over half of students also received some sort of scholarship or financial aid from their university. And of course, many students will take on loans – 38% of undergrads to be exact.

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Over a third of college students have also received local or state scholarships, and some even invest money from their own savings into their college education. But many students have to continue working while earning their degrees, as 40% of full-time students juggle jobs along with their classes.

The financial burden of earning a degree rarely falls fully on the student. A national survey from Discover Student Loans found that 70% of parents are worried about not being able to afford their children’s college education. At the same time, 95% of parents who have been saving up to pay for their kids’ college expect to fund over half of their education. 

But not all graduates believe that their degrees were worth it

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Building a college fund for your children may be easier said than done. Higher education expert Mark Kantrowitz told CNBC that parents should be investing $300 a month from the time that their child is born to be able to pay for a four-year in-state public university by the time their child is 18. And if their child will want to attend a private college, Mom and Dad should be setting aside $600 a month.

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The woman in this story clearly empathizes with her brother’s situation, as she knows just how hard it is to pay for a college education. But because she managed to do it, she also knows that he can figure it out too. And, if he can’t manage to find the funds, he can still have a successful career without bragging about his alma mater.

The Pew Research Center reports that 29% of college graduates in the United States don’t think the cost of university today is worth it. And nearly half say that getting a degree is worth it, but only if you don’t have to take out student loans. Only 22% of graduates believe that going to college is worth it with loans.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation, pandas. How would you respond if you were in this woman’s situation? Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article addressing similar issues, look no further than right here

Many readers agreed that the woman had every right to refuse

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But some thought that all parties should have handled the situation differently

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Read less »
Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your father chose to marry and make a new baby rather than help you through college. Message received - daddy doesn't take responsibility. AND THEN he disrespects your scholarship achievements with "got lucky". AND THEN he tries to get you to pay for the baby's college. Anything that comes out of his mouth, I'd counter with "Stop being such a jealous wannabe freeloading deadbeat dad".

The Phantom Stranger
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm starting to think the Bored Panda (or Reddit, I guess, as the originator of most of their content) is using bots to generate their YTA comments, as most of them bear almost no relation to the posts they are criticizing. I'm familiar with the concept of selective comprehension (which dad in this article seems to suffer from, btw), but realistically it shouldn't affect every single person posting a YTA comment.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, the whole post is bots. Do you really think crazy c**p like this happens to people on this regular of a basis, and all of them go "was I in the wrong for pressing charges on my brother after he stabbed me and stole my life savings and wife?"

Load More Replies...
StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Oh maaan, I really thought it was all going to be NTA (because it should be)... then an ESH popped up at the end. I wonder how much effort BP made to find it.

Load More Comments
TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your father chose to marry and make a new baby rather than help you through college. Message received - daddy doesn't take responsibility. AND THEN he disrespects your scholarship achievements with "got lucky". AND THEN he tries to get you to pay for the baby's college. Anything that comes out of his mouth, I'd counter with "Stop being such a jealous wannabe freeloading deadbeat dad".

The Phantom Stranger
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm starting to think the Bored Panda (or Reddit, I guess, as the originator of most of their content) is using bots to generate their YTA comments, as most of them bear almost no relation to the posts they are criticizing. I'm familiar with the concept of selective comprehension (which dad in this article seems to suffer from, btw), but realistically it shouldn't affect every single person posting a YTA comment.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, the whole post is bots. Do you really think crazy c**p like this happens to people on this regular of a basis, and all of them go "was I in the wrong for pressing charges on my brother after he stabbed me and stole my life savings and wife?"

Load More Replies...
StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Oh maaan, I really thought it was all going to be NTA (because it should be)... then an ESH popped up at the end. I wonder how much effort BP made to find it.

Load More Comments
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