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“I Asked Her If She’d Hit Her Head”: Pregnant Dressmaker Refuses Bride’s Demands, Drama Ensues
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“I Asked Her If She’d Hit Her Head”: Pregnant Dressmaker Refuses Bride’s Demands, Drama Ensues

“I Asked Her If She’d Hit Her Head”: Pregnant Dressmaker Refuses Bride’s Demands, Drama EnsuesPregnant Woman Asks Friend If “She Hit Her Head” After She Demands A Wedding Dress In 5 MonthsBride Asks Dressmaker To Design Her One For Free On A Tight Deadline, Doesn't Accept A Woman Refuses To Make Wedding Dress For A Friend, Gets Shamed In Group ChatPregnant Woman Is Dragged For Not Making Friend's Wedding Dress: Woman Refuses To Make Friend Wedding Dress, Is Accused Of Favoritism“I Asked Her If She’d Hit Her Head”: Woman Refuses To Make Friend’s Wedding Dress In 5 MonthsWoman Refuses To Make Friend A Wedding Dress Due To Tight Deadline, And They Get Into A FightEntitled Bride Expects Friend To Use Her Maternity Leave To Make Her A Custom Wedding Dress
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There’s a difference between a favor and extortion. And Reddit user Elegant-Big3199 feels like her friend crossed that line.

She was asked to create a wedding dress — something the woman does for a living — but on an impractically tight deadline. With her upcoming maternity leave and the demands of her job, the Redditor told her friend that she couldn’t deliver in such a short time, and the two of them had a falling out.

Now that the conflict has also spilled into their broader social circle, the woman turned to the internet, asking people who is to blame for it.

RELATED:

    This fashion designer told her friend she couldn’t make her a dress for her wedding

    Image credits: Albertshakirov / Envato (not the actual photo)

    But the friend refused to take a no for an answer

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    Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Elegant-Big3199

    Custom wedding dresses take a long time to create

    Image credits: Daniel Moises Magulado / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The timeframe that the Redditor’s friend presented is very short even for those who aren’t working pregnant.

    For example, seasoned fashion designer Angela Kim, who also specializes in the industry, takes around double that.

    “Creating a custom wedding dress typically takes 9-12 months,” she writes on her website. “This timeline allows us to create a gown that matches your bridal vision and achieves a perfect fit. During this time, designing your dress becomes a partnership to make every aspect of the dress reflect your bridal vision and personal style.”

    According to the designer, a comfortable timeline allows them to finalize every detail, from the hem length to the delivery date, and leaves space for the creativity and precision required to make your dress perfect for your wedding theme and bridal photos.

    “It’s a process that can’t be rushed—remember, this isn’t an episode of Project Runway! If you’re looking for a last-minute wedding dress, going custom is definitely not the right choice!”

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    Even if the bride chose from pre-existing designs, she’s still quite late.

    “If you plan to buy a dress off-the-rack, you’ll need sufficient time for the order to arrive, which can often take four to six months,” Kim adds. “And likely you’ll also need alterations done, which can take another couple of months as well.”

    This is because embellishments like hand-beading or lace appliqués require meticulous craftsmanship and precise placement.

    Then, once the dress is nearly complete, designers also have to come up with the finishing touches that make a bridal look truly come to life. “Choosing the right accessories can elevate the overall aesthetic, whether it’s a vintage veil, a sparkling tiara, or elegant jewelry that complements the gown’s design,” Kim says.

    Add the fact that custom dresses cost upwards of thousands of dollars and quickly becomes obvious that the bride from the Reddit post needs a reality check.

    As the story went viral, its author joined the discussion in the comment section

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    And while the majority of people said she did nothing wrong

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    Some believe the woman could’ve taken a less confrontational route

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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    moggie63
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the point about people not knowing how long it takes to make a dress is valid. Has she ever told anybody?

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On group chat - "It normally takes 10 months to make a wedding dress. Entitled demanded that I make her a free one in 5 months and informed me that I would have more free time as I'm having a baby in the middle of these five months. Entitled is right about one thing - I do have favourites. I didn't before this demand, but I sure as heck do now".

    Vera Diblikova
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    10 months to make a wedding dress? Is it handmade weaved and woven? In my country at communist aera we women and girls made our dresses, bc in shops was nothing nice and special, so I know how to sew even dresses for balls etc. In 10 months can the bride have triplets!! and the dressmaker two separate children.

    Load More Replies...
    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is always a YTAer in this type of post where the OP is in the right, showing that a lot of the time, the (YTAers) are as entitled as the peeps asking for (free) stuff & derogating the OP when it's inconvenient at that particular time - esp when OP suggested a compromise. I've never understood such entitlement. It's like when you're offering free stuff online & they want you to drop it off, or complain about the free stuff once they've got it. NTA, btw re: the OP. I hope she doesn't back down on this.

    zims
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTA commenter making some huge assumptions about the poster. "They don't know how much work it is, you never told them." Uhh, they've been friends since HIGH SCHOOL, you think in all these years they never talked about work? The friend group that's had two weddings never talked about the work that goes into preparing for a wedding? Unless the friend is completely oblivious it should be obvious that making a dress would be hard work and take a long time.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Middle Earth - perhaps read the entire thing where she DID in fact explain how long it takes. I would be back in the group chat saying, sorry, but my physical and mental health and giving birth and looking after a child usurp your wanting a free dress and bringing it to social media is how you lose friends. Then block her.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At the same time the bride is telling people that you don't consider her one of your favorites, she is simultaneously explaining why.

    Bette
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have to wonder if any of the YTA commenters either have birthed a child or are seamstresses with wedding dress making experience; that they are so judgmental. For the so-called friend to demand a custom wedding dress under such circumstances in a short time line AND subsequently trash-talk the author for refusing; she revealed how unhinged she is.

    Sophia Athene
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The 2 YTA said so for how she responded to her friend, not for turning the friend down. Both posts say the designer and seamstress was correct in turning her down. It came down to how she did so. You can disagree with whether or not it was appropriate in her initial response but *you* are unhinged for heavily criticizing the two opinions for something they did *not* say.

    Load More Replies...
    Nancy Whiting
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you shop for a wedding dress, one of the pieces of information you're given is expected delivery time. When you look at bridal magazines, one of the pieces of information in EVERY ISSUE is "timeline" information, including lead time for the dress. An individual design (design and production) will ALWAYS take longer than a commercially made dress, and if the designer has their own business, they already have commitments they are contractually obligated to fulfill. If you're going to get married DO SOME RESEARCH.

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If we are friends, real ones; once I tell you I can't do something, I don't need to justify it and my friends know that I truly can't. Change your friends cause they aren't, at least not that one.

    Susy Hammond
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even a wedding dress made from a store bought pattern takes time to personalize and fit exactly. NTA.

    Ge Po
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just pointing out, it was supposed to be a gift. A gift worth a (few) month(s) wages. OP is in no way obligated to do that. (Yes, the cost of an average bride-gown should have been a clue as to how much work goes into the thing.) Bride not taking the professional's explanation serious and demanding she do it while pregnant or post-partum, is way out of her mind.

    Hakitosama
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "it's clear who's her favourites" yeah HER BABY IS, B*TCH ! AS IT SHOULD! Even without the pregnancy...I sew for some of my cosplayer friends and even for a cosplay, 5 months is NOT enough! I can only imagine for a f*cking WEDDING DRESS! .....and the worst is that I have no problem guessing where it takes place .........USA is the only place so unhinged about wedding........

    Vera Diblikova
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know that wedding is a great fete here, a LOT to prepare, but - made a wedding dress in 4 MONTHS can be done, pregnant or not pregnant. Or is there something special, like pearls that the dressmaker must take self from see? 4 months can be sufficient, or not? I am no American and I a little bit despite your fascination by weddings.

    Super Beast
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand the friend feeling hurt but I dont understand the outcry. In her position i would have felt hurt and left out **because of the circumstances**, but i wouldnt find fault in a friend who wants to, but cannot help. I also think the op has gone into the 'I'm making life here!' mindset, which is hard to understand for child free people.

    person (i think)
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a question … what is the [meaning of the] symbol at the end of the last posted comment? I see it occasionally but when I tried looking it up I keep getting the result of “17”

    Pollywog
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know the second is the symbol for female. The first, I'm not sure and am having a hell of a time trying to find it.

    Load More Replies...
    moggie63
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the point about people not knowing how long it takes to make a dress is valid. Has she ever told anybody?

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On group chat - "It normally takes 10 months to make a wedding dress. Entitled demanded that I make her a free one in 5 months and informed me that I would have more free time as I'm having a baby in the middle of these five months. Entitled is right about one thing - I do have favourites. I didn't before this demand, but I sure as heck do now".

    Vera Diblikova
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    10 months to make a wedding dress? Is it handmade weaved and woven? In my country at communist aera we women and girls made our dresses, bc in shops was nothing nice and special, so I know how to sew even dresses for balls etc. In 10 months can the bride have triplets!! and the dressmaker two separate children.

    Load More Replies...
    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is always a YTAer in this type of post where the OP is in the right, showing that a lot of the time, the (YTAers) are as entitled as the peeps asking for (free) stuff & derogating the OP when it's inconvenient at that particular time - esp when OP suggested a compromise. I've never understood such entitlement. It's like when you're offering free stuff online & they want you to drop it off, or complain about the free stuff once they've got it. NTA, btw re: the OP. I hope she doesn't back down on this.

    zims
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTA commenter making some huge assumptions about the poster. "They don't know how much work it is, you never told them." Uhh, they've been friends since HIGH SCHOOL, you think in all these years they never talked about work? The friend group that's had two weddings never talked about the work that goes into preparing for a wedding? Unless the friend is completely oblivious it should be obvious that making a dress would be hard work and take a long time.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Middle Earth - perhaps read the entire thing where she DID in fact explain how long it takes. I would be back in the group chat saying, sorry, but my physical and mental health and giving birth and looking after a child usurp your wanting a free dress and bringing it to social media is how you lose friends. Then block her.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At the same time the bride is telling people that you don't consider her one of your favorites, she is simultaneously explaining why.

    Bette
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have to wonder if any of the YTA commenters either have birthed a child or are seamstresses with wedding dress making experience; that they are so judgmental. For the so-called friend to demand a custom wedding dress under such circumstances in a short time line AND subsequently trash-talk the author for refusing; she revealed how unhinged she is.

    Sophia Athene
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The 2 YTA said so for how she responded to her friend, not for turning the friend down. Both posts say the designer and seamstress was correct in turning her down. It came down to how she did so. You can disagree with whether or not it was appropriate in her initial response but *you* are unhinged for heavily criticizing the two opinions for something they did *not* say.

    Load More Replies...
    Nancy Whiting
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you shop for a wedding dress, one of the pieces of information you're given is expected delivery time. When you look at bridal magazines, one of the pieces of information in EVERY ISSUE is "timeline" information, including lead time for the dress. An individual design (design and production) will ALWAYS take longer than a commercially made dress, and if the designer has their own business, they already have commitments they are contractually obligated to fulfill. If you're going to get married DO SOME RESEARCH.

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If we are friends, real ones; once I tell you I can't do something, I don't need to justify it and my friends know that I truly can't. Change your friends cause they aren't, at least not that one.

    Susy Hammond
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even a wedding dress made from a store bought pattern takes time to personalize and fit exactly. NTA.

    Ge Po
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just pointing out, it was supposed to be a gift. A gift worth a (few) month(s) wages. OP is in no way obligated to do that. (Yes, the cost of an average bride-gown should have been a clue as to how much work goes into the thing.) Bride not taking the professional's explanation serious and demanding she do it while pregnant or post-partum, is way out of her mind.

    Hakitosama
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "it's clear who's her favourites" yeah HER BABY IS, B*TCH ! AS IT SHOULD! Even without the pregnancy...I sew for some of my cosplayer friends and even for a cosplay, 5 months is NOT enough! I can only imagine for a f*cking WEDDING DRESS! .....and the worst is that I have no problem guessing where it takes place .........USA is the only place so unhinged about wedding........

    Vera Diblikova
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know that wedding is a great fete here, a LOT to prepare, but - made a wedding dress in 4 MONTHS can be done, pregnant or not pregnant. Or is there something special, like pearls that the dressmaker must take self from see? 4 months can be sufficient, or not? I am no American and I a little bit despite your fascination by weddings.

    Super Beast
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand the friend feeling hurt but I dont understand the outcry. In her position i would have felt hurt and left out **because of the circumstances**, but i wouldnt find fault in a friend who wants to, but cannot help. I also think the op has gone into the 'I'm making life here!' mindset, which is hard to understand for child free people.

    person (i think)
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a question … what is the [meaning of the] symbol at the end of the last posted comment? I see it occasionally but when I tried looking it up I keep getting the result of “17”

    Pollywog
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know the second is the symbol for female. The first, I'm not sure and am having a hell of a time trying to find it.

    Load More Replies...
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