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Woman Gets Labeled A Jerk For Refusing To Attend Friend’s Wedding After Her Fiance Is Not Invited
Now, nobody’s here to argue about the fact that every bride (and, hopefully, groom) has certain desires, wishes, and rules for their own weddings. It’s only natural as it’s their celebration.
But, if a rule doesn’t sit well with you, you ought to be able to choose not to go to the wedding, right? Especially if this rule is based on very questionable assumptions—assumptions that more or less claim that you don’t get a plus one because that plus one, according to the bride, won’t last, and she ain’t gonna have any exes in her wedding. Even if they aren’t hers. And they aren’t even exes at this point.
More Info: Reddit
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Weddings have rules, but some are more questionable than others, as seen with this one bride’s decisions
Image credits: Kristal Harvey (not the actual photo)
A mad Redditor, who’s also a maid of honor, very appropriately nicknamed u/MadMOH2710, went to the Am I The A-Hole community (also very appropriate, I guess?) to explain her interesting predicament.
In a nutshell, OP was to be a maid of honor in a friend’s wedding. However, some time later, she found out that her partner of ten years, with whom she will soon have a child, and whom she is to marry (also soon), is not invited as her plus one.
An ex-maid of honor turned to Reddit to settle a dispute, one that involves a bride deciding her plus one isn’t invited because of her own beliefs
Image credits: MadMOH2710
The problem starts with the fact that the bride herself did not explicitly, or in any other way, explain this. OP ended up finding that out from another mutual friend who’s going to the wedding.
Once confronted about it, the bride explained that only married and long-term couples are invited to the wedding. OP did point out that so far, her relationship with her man fit the description.
So, the bride took another stab at explaining herself, and now she said that she doesn’t see the relationship as a valid one—it took them so long to make their relationship legal that it just seems like what they have isn’t all that strong.
In a nutshell, the issue here was that the bride didn’t believe OP will last with her partner of 10 years, despite evidence against it
Image credits: MadMOH2710
While this is something OP and her hubby ought to decide, the bride still held to her belief, and since it’s her wedding, she has spoken, and that’s that. “Accept it or leave, I am not in a mood to deal with that drama,” concluded that bride.
Well, OP did. She said she won’t be the maid of honor and dropped out of the wedding. A drastic move, but one that sends a message. And not everyone liked it as the mutual friend ended up coming at her, saying she’s wrong to have done so—it’s the bride’s wedding and her decisions ought to be respected.
This led to OP decided to not be a maid of honor, and just dropping out of the wedding, which some people were not happy with
Image credits: MadMOH2710
So, here we are, asking the internet who’s wrong here. And the internet was having none of the bride’s shenanigans. They simply voted that OP isn’t wrong to respond the way she did and that’s that.
For some, this looked like a bridezilla situation, and if anything, she was a bad friend. Others disagreed with the bride’s reasoning, expressing their surprise with how a ten-year relationship doesn’t count. Some even started speculating that maybe the bride has some issue with the husband. Drama?
But despite some not liking it, the internet was of the firm opinion that she did nothing wrong
Whatever the case may be, the post got a fair amount of attention in the form of 22,500 upvotes and over 80 Reddit awards, generating nearly 3,000 comments in the process. You can actually check out the post in its entirety here.
But before you go, why not tell us your thoughts—who’s wrong here? Any devil’s advocates out there? Let us know in the comment section below!
What do you think ?
Lingon 2 years ago
Ah yes, just like my uncles relationship of nearly 30 years before finally tying the knot and then staying together until he died, weren't as valid as my parents that got married after a year and divorced as few years later.
Carol Emory 2 years ago
@Lingon. I actually think that some relationships where people don't get married are stronger because each person can walk away at any time. Once you are married, the whole hassle of getting a divorce forces people to stay in bad relationships.
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K Witmer 2 years ago
My mom and step dad were engaged for 40 yrs. Never married. My mom was tortured by my dad and said she'd never marry again. My step dad respected that and never asked her. He only asked her to be his fiancé. She would get upset when people would say it wasn't as valid as being married. No one she knew were ever together as long as her and my step dad. Idk how people think that's not a valid relationship just bc there was no "legal" ceremony
Leodavinci 2 years ago
Together 40 years? In many places, they be considered married in 10 or less, even without a ceremony or certificate.
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Otter 2 years ago
The OP might have been TA if she'd quit the bridal party because there wasn't room on the guest list for bridal party plus-ones, or the bride just didn't like him, or because Uncle Bob is flying in from another state and can she please be a dear and let Uncle Bob have his place? But saying a ten-year relationship isn't real? That's an insult! Nobody should ever take insults quietly.
Lingon 2 years ago
Ah yes, just like my uncles relationship of nearly 30 years before finally tying the knot and then staying together until he died, weren't as valid as my parents that got married after a year and divorced as few years later.
Carol Emory 2 years ago
@Lingon. I actually think that some relationships where people don't get married are stronger because each person can walk away at any time. Once you are married, the whole hassle of getting a divorce forces people to stay in bad relationships.
Load More Replies... K Witmer 2 years ago
My mom and step dad were engaged for 40 yrs. Never married. My mom was tortured by my dad and said she'd never marry again. My step dad respected that and never asked her. He only asked her to be his fiancé. She would get upset when people would say it wasn't as valid as being married. No one she knew were ever together as long as her and my step dad. Idk how people think that's not a valid relationship just bc there was no "legal" ceremony
Leodavinci 2 years ago
Together 40 years? In many places, they be considered married in 10 or less, even without a ceremony or certificate.
Load More Replies... Otter 2 years ago
The OP might have been TA if she'd quit the bridal party because there wasn't room on the guest list for bridal party plus-ones, or the bride just didn't like him, or because Uncle Bob is flying in from another state and can she please be a dear and let Uncle Bob have his place? But saying a ten-year relationship isn't real? That's an insult! Nobody should ever take insults quietly.
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