Family Pressures Woman To Care For 6 Kids At BIL’s Wedding, Acts Shocked At ‘No’
Weddings are a whirlwind of excitement, and family support can make all the difference. Whether it’s borrowing a sentimental “something old” from a cousin or having your chef sister whip up a stunning cake, every bit of help counts. But sometimes, there’s a fine line between asking for help and expecting too much.
For instance, a woman sought advice online after her brother-in-law, who had previously insulted her, expected her to babysit six children under 4 years old during his own wedding. This situation escalated family tensions as she stood firm on her decision, prompting mixed reactions from relatives. Keep reading to see how her husband and his family reacted to her refusal.
Choosing to have a child-free wedding is entirely up to the couple, but they shouldn’t expect their guests to make adjustments to accommodate that choice
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A new mom, living just two hours from the wedding venue, shared how her brother-in-law expected her to babysit six children during his wedding
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Equivalent-Pen-1917
Couples should take the time to research and find a reliable sitter for their big day
As the wedding day draws near, couples often feel a sense of relief as the once-endless to-do list finally begins to shrink. The venue? Big check! Caterers are sorted, and the menu is mouthwatering. But couples also need to think about keeping the little ones entertained so that parents can relax during the festivities.
One of the first decisions to make is whether or not to arrange childcare at the wedding. A dedicated sitter can make a big difference, freeing up parents to enjoy the day without worrying much. Consider the overall vibe you want—will having a childcare option help the guests have a better time? If so, it’s a decision you won’t regret.
Hiring the right sitter isn’t something to leave for the last minute. Take your time and do your research. Many professional sitters have an event rate, so you’ll want to know what’s fair and what fits your budget.
OneWed suggests paying an hourly event rate, which typically ranges from $25 to $40 per hour, with an extra $3 per hour for overtime. Another option is to offer a flat rate for the entire evening, regardless of how late the reception goes. Always ask for references and ensure they’re comfortable in a big event setting.
Also, you should keep in mind that costs can vary significantly depending on the sitter’s experience, location, and what’s required of them. Make sure you have a clear agreement on what’s included. Will the sitter be supervising crafts, setting up a movie corner, or handling dinner for the kids? Clarifying these details early can save headaches on the day.
Building rapport with the sitter is essential, as it helps both parents and children feel more comfortable
If you do decide to have a sitter, make sure there’s a designated kid-friendly space where children can feel comfortable. A small room with toys, coloring books, and a few snacks can go a long way in keeping little ones happy. Consider simple activities like a mini photo booth. Not only will the kids have a blast, but you’ll also end up with some adorable photos to remember the precious moments.
Additionally, to help parents feel at ease about the hired caregiver, you can consider providing some background information about them. For instance, if your sitter has an online profile, sharing the link with your guests can give them peace of mind and confidence in your choice.
Even with the best planning, unexpected things can happen—especially with kids involved! Have a backup plan just in case a child gets overwhelmed or a sitter falls through. It’s always good to have a friend or family member on standby who can lend a hand if needed.
But in this particular case, the family had high expectations of the author. Managing six little ones, along with her own toddler, would have been overwhelming. How would you have handled the situation if you were in her shoes?
People online supported the new mom as she shared more details about her situation
Many felt that the author’s in-laws were being unreasonable
Some believed the author should have let her husband enjoy his brother’s wedding
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
As someone who had an emergency c section and delivered a prem baby, I turned down my friend to be a bridesmaid and to attend a wedding thay was on another island. There was no way I could have left my newborn, let alone attended something as big as a wedding in that state. NTA, they are allowed to take it easy, a C section is abdominal surgery and not just a quicky procedure. The hubby didn't want to go either.
I hope OP, hubs + baby went away + weren't home for the "drop-offs."
As someone who had an emergency c section and delivered a prem baby, I turned down my friend to be a bridesmaid and to attend a wedding thay was on another island. There was no way I could have left my newborn, let alone attended something as big as a wedding in that state. NTA, they are allowed to take it easy, a C section is abdominal surgery and not just a quicky procedure. The hubby didn't want to go either.
I hope OP, hubs + baby went away + weren't home for the "drop-offs."
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