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28 Formerly Devoted Churchgoers Share What The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back Was For Them
Going to church or any other religious institution is an integral part of the daily routine for many of us. After all, religion has played and will play an important role in people's lives. And even if deep down we doubt the existence of divine providence and any higher being above us, religion gives us at least some sense of belonging.
On the other hand, many of us, for one reason or another, become disillusioned with religion or our faith. Even if religion was incredibly important to us for many years or decades. And in today's list made for you by Bored Panda, there are several dozen stories from people who once lost their religion.
More info: Reddit
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#1
I stopped being forced to go.
R.A. Haley 3 weeks ago
My mom found out I didn't like sunday school and told me I didn't have to go if I didn't like it. That was the first time in my life I realized I had a choice, that my opinions mattered. Thanks mom!
RELATED:
#2
One of my four sons is gay. I love him without reservation. The church says he’s a sinner because of who he is. I’m out.
A couple of weeks ago, a thread appeared in the AskReddit community, where the author, the user u/lowly_shepherd, decided to ask netizens: "People who have stopped going to church, what made you stop?" The question, you must admit, is quite difficult and too personal for many, but people began to answer. And so, as of today, the thread has over 9.5K upvotes and around 16K various comments.
So we, Bored Panda, have collected for you a selection of the most interesting, sometimes touching and sad, sometimes simply rational and even cynical stories, behind each of which stands a human being, their beliefs, expectations and dreams. Sometimes, unfortunately, unfulfilled...
#4
They seemed to want money more than anything else.
Doctor Strange 3 weeks ago
The Catholic church is one of the wealthiest businesses in the world.
#5
I was raised in the Church of Christ. Women arent supposed to speak in front of men, instead theyre supposed to filter their voice through their husband or father. My dad has alzheimers and my raised in the church husband beat me, cheated on me, lied, stole, and beat our kids. I also wayched them drag a 16 year old gay child to the front and excommunicate him in front of over 1000 people. Evil effing cult.
geezeronthehill 3 weeks ago
Patriarchy is the basis of the three abramic religions and their myriad schisms and cults. I doubt they'll ever give that up.
#6
I started to realize I felt guilty for things that weren’t truly wrong and didn’t negatively impact others. I now don’t need the interpretation of good and evil from others, I just do my best to be a good person on my own terms.
Someone becomes disillusioned with organized religion, having encountered banal manifestations of base human feelings even from priests (up to sins that the Bible actually recognizes as mortal ones - just remember at least the Oscar-winning film Spotlight...). Well, someone who continues to go to church simply by family tradition, sooner or later, begins to rethink these traditions.
This is completely reasonable and logical. In fact, in the end, behind each tradition there is some rational experience from the past, which people eventually elevate to the level of ritual. In this case, tradition loses its validity and turns into just a mechanical act. So people who start thinking about it involuntarily deconstruct the entire process.
#7
I stopped going when I was 14 and 2 different people, one of them the pastor, told me that dinosaurs never existed. I really went home that night, sat on my bed, and said to myself “I can’t let myself ever get that stupid” and I never went back. I was going 4 times a week too it was a big part of my life.
R.A. Haley 3 weeks ago
Dinosaurs existed. This is proven scientific fact. Belief has nothing to do with it.
#8
I went to a Baptist university and they were building a new football stadium. One day, at the dog park, I was talking with a professor who was also a preacher, about the new stadium. We were both excited to hear that neither of us thought the stadium was a good idea.
But I’ll never forget the look of disgust on his face when I said that the money should go to helping the largely impoverished community around the university.
He thought it should go to building more churches.
It was then I realized that I have fundamentally different morals and ethics than churchgoers.
sturmwesen 3 weeks ago
I am generally not a fan of religion,but due to my mothers preacher (American baptist that came to Germany as a missionary) I realllly hate the baptist bigotery. The kids were not allowed at public pools because of naked skin, the daughters had to wear knee length skirts and cover their shoulders,.... but ego shooter games etc were fine. (nothing against the games but I'd rather my children saw shoulders than shot off heads) I finally managed to skip church and church camp at about 13 by not stopping asking "why???" for every stupid thing they taught in youth group and sitting silently during songs and prayer. ... years after the death of my mother and her ex / my father my sister told me that my father tried to get her to leave the church because he felt is was a cult.
#9
Too many fake people, too many people who think Christianity and political beliefs go together, and too many people who rely on God and don't want to do the work and fix their own problems.
A separate issue is the relationship between religion and science. Despite the fact that the top leaders of many denominations have long been trying to adapt their teachings to the scientifically based picture of the modern world, some priests ‘in the field’ continue to deny any scientific fact that doesn’t fit into the framework of the sacred scriptures of their religion.
But if the person who hears this has some kind of rational thinking, they sooner or later begin to wonder - is it really worth going to church at all?
#10
I came to realize that organised religion is just a man made concoction meant to control people and make a few people rich and comfortable.
geezeronthehill 3 weeks ago
I never did believe in their God. My bs detector kicked into high gear the first time my parents hauled me to church.
#11
I read the Bible. Came to very different conclusions than those I was taught in church.
Beak Hookage 3 weeks ago
Same. I got given a copy and I pretty much read the entire thing. I came away with the conclusion "wow, the god depicted in this thing is HORRIBLE and I want absolutely nothing to do with him".
#12
Stopped going to our family church when the pastor told me I was not allowed to leave my husband over domestic abuse unless he cheated on me. I left him anyway.
In general, all the reasons why people stop going to church can be organized into several groups. For example, the Christianity.com web portal identifies five main groups of such reasons for people to stop attending religious institutions:
1. They are out of the habit.
2. They are scared to go back.
3. They are upset or bitter.
4. They are embarrassed.
5. It is not a priority for them.
By and large, all the stories told in this collection can be classified into one of these groups, right? Well, and some are actually a combination of several reasons at once.
#13
My son is trans. He was accepted when he was female, when he began transitioning to male several congregation members let it be known they didn’t approve. Then the pastor made an anti-LGBTQA comment and we were done. My son who grew up as an altar server in that church said to me shortly after that “I know I’m going to hell so what difference does it make?” The f*****g church did that to him. So f**k them all to hell.
#14
God is everywhere in the universe. The only thing that is solely inside the church is the collection plate. Organized religion is a business and used to be a form of social and political control.
#15
Holier than thou pastor was [having intercourse] his secretary for years while married.
Of course, we shouldn’t forget about the pandemic, which has not only hit the global economy but also affected organized religion around the world. "In the year 2020, many governments around the world put out a mandate to churches and other religious groups to close their doors in response to a new virus circulating the globe," pastor Robert Hampshire says in this dedicated article on Christianity.com.
"Fast forward two or three years, and most people have moved beyond being constantly worried about the negative consequences of getting together to sing, pray, and study."
However, some sociological studies disagree with this - for example, comparing 2019 and 2022, the authors of this study show that the percentage of Americans who used to go to church regularly decreased by only 2%, and those who went occasionally, also by 2%.
#16
I realized they all worship a mythology no different from stories about Greek and Roman gods.
And I started looking around me and noticed all these supposedly good people were actually pretty f****d up. Mean, racist, homophobic, just about as far away from the actual teachings of Christ as can be. If Jesus took a look at what his followers have become, he'd just sit and cry and cry.
I've only ever met maybe one or two actually good Christians who live like Christ said we should. The rest of them are just pretending.
Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
My neighbours are a baptist minister and his wife. They're wonderful people and excellent neighbours. Good ones do exist.
#17
The focus on appearances. It seemed like no one actually gave a s**t what went on behind closed doors as long as they weren’t forced to acknowledge it. Felt like nobody would care if their back teeth were rotting out just as long as the front looked nice, so to speak. .
#18
I got sat in the hall and not allowed to participate in Sunday school after declaring that Jesus was a zombie and there was no other way he could have possibly come back to life and refusing to budge from my very logical position on the matter.
I was 8. It was not my last time getting in trouble for the 'Jesus is a zombie' theory.
In any case, this list is in no way an attempt to attract people to churches, nor an attempt to turn them away from organized religion. We were simply curious about why people are disillusioned with what for many generations was almost the cornerstone of their lives.
By the way, if you have a similar story under your belt, we’d also be very interested to know about it, so please feel free to share it in the comments below as well.
#19
Couldn't handle the hypocrisy anymore.
Geoffrey Scott 2 weeks ago
Oh, like demeaning and finding contempt in sects of the same faith? Those who demand a "Christian nation' would NOT like the results as the Catholic sect of Christianity is by far the largest and would hold the most sway. You want a Christian nation? Better practice mass.
#20
I never really could connect with anyone in the church, they were too... churchy. They didn't seem capable of having conversations that didnt revolve around the church or the bible and I can't just talk abt that 24/7. The level of close mindedness aswell was quite infuriating and couldn't continue to deal with that.
R.A. Haley 3 weeks ago (edited)
I know someone like this. I love her dearly, but had to unfollow her on Facebook because every third word she says is "Jesus", "church", "savior", etc, etc. Sorry, but I find it boring. Pick another topic.
#21
I slept in one Sunday and loved it. Never went back to Sunday School - My oldest is in med school and my other kids are great kids/students. When people ask me how my wife and I raised great kids I always say make sure you are rested.
#22
As a kid it was because it was absolutely boring. As an adult, because I don't believe subscribe to the teachings.
Regina Holt 2 weeks ago
Absofreakinglutely boring. Those stories they told from the pulpit were just gibberish to me.
#23
It just wasn’t fulfilling anymore and I came to the conclusion that most people use religion as a cover up for their flaws.
#24
When I was going through my divorce, my pastor called me and told me he thought it would be best if I didn't come back to church "utnil I got my life together". My ex-wife, she stayed and was welcome with open arms.
So, I'm a little disillusioned.
Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
My best friend was abused by her first husband. Her future second husband saw the abuse and got her out, she stayed at the pastor's house. While he did want her to stay until she felt safe, he expected her to return to him because divorce was wrong. He had previously said to her during marriage counselling that a women should accept her role in a marriage. Both her and her second husband left that church after that, which was really hard from him because he had been brought up in it. My friend got somewhere else safe and divorced him. Her future in laws disapproved of her because she was divorced but after their first grandchild was born they relaxed a little, though still never wanted to listen to the fact she had been abused and that's why she was divorced. Thankfully, this is not something all denominations or churches believe. They found another that was welcoming and supportive.
#25
Because when you really get down to it, it’s just people telling you they know what happens when we die. I’m not basing my life’s ideology around something that’s impossible to know.
#27
After my separation and divorce not one person from my church called me to ask how I was doing. I grew up in that church and went as an adult after moving back to my home town. There are other reasons, but this one still hurts three years later. I’ll never go back to a baptist church. I may not go back to church at all. I still pray every day.
#28
The last time I went to my church was my moms celebration of life service. It’s been 8 years and I don’t think I can set foot in the building without tears.
Poll Question
Have you also left your church for good?
Yep and I'm never going back!
Mostly, but I still feel a connection to it.
Nope, not planning on it.
I never went to church to begin with!
What do you think ?
UKGrandad 3 weeks ago (edited)
On a school trip to a church I asked why it needed a lightning conductor. The vicar looked at me as if I was stupid and said that it was to protect the building from a lightning strike. I replied that I knew what the conductor did, but it seemed odd that they didn't trust God enough to protect His own house. The vicar grassed me up to my teacher and when we got back to school I was given 6 strokes of the cane for my disrespectful attitude. I still insist that a god that can't protect his own worshippers is no god at all.
nm 3 weeks ago
If everyone will use his brain, logic and education no religion nor god can stand against them.
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
Would love to see similar responses on why people have left other religions. I expect overlap but I'm hoping for differences.
Mel in Georgia 3 weeks ago
Such a long story with me, but having been raised in a mainstream church, and then "born again" after being in crisis in college, I subsequently felt worse because I couldn't reconcile the blatant baloney in the Bible with what I knew was true, and the idea that a loving God would set up the world so that most would go to hell. I know a lot of terrific people who are Christians (and, of course, lots who aren't so great) but I feel so much better with the idea that things happen at random and it's enough to try to be a good person.
UKGrandad 3 weeks ago (edited)
On a school trip to a church I asked why it needed a lightning conductor. The vicar looked at me as if I was stupid and said that it was to protect the building from a lightning strike. I replied that I knew what the conductor did, but it seemed odd that they didn't trust God enough to protect His own house. The vicar grassed me up to my teacher and when we got back to school I was given 6 strokes of the cane for my disrespectful attitude. I still insist that a god that can't protect his own worshippers is no god at all.
nm 3 weeks ago
If everyone will use his brain, logic and education no religion nor god can stand against them.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
Would love to see similar responses on why people have left other religions. I expect overlap but I'm hoping for differences.
Mel in Georgia 3 weeks ago
Such a long story with me, but having been raised in a mainstream church, and then "born again" after being in crisis in college, I subsequently felt worse because I couldn't reconcile the blatant baloney in the Bible with what I knew was true, and the idea that a loving God would set up the world so that most would go to hell. I know a lot of terrific people who are Christians (and, of course, lots who aren't so great) but I feel so much better with the idea that things happen at random and it's enough to try to be a good person.
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