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Red flags are usually something that indicates trouble. Something that screams, “Run! Run as fast as you can!”
But for some people, such flags work like a magic potion, suddenly making them weak in the knees for the person bearing them. Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently opened up about red flags they can’t help but be attracted to. Their answers covered all sorts of red flags, like being too clingy or lovebombing, among other things, which would make many people run for the hills. But these netizens choose to run toward the flag. Scroll down to find their comments on the list below.
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#1
Emotionally Unavailable men. And they suck because they have otherwise wonderful qualities as a partner but can’t get over their hump. They also can’t have those serious conversations. One told me they’d rather run into a burning building than talk about their feelings.
Riley Quinn 3 days ago
Oh, the irony. My ex literally ran into burning buildings, but lacked the courage to share his feelings.
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#2
Very clingy women. I really enjoy being clung to. I'll wear her as a backpack if she wants, just hold me. :)
#3
Workaholic men with control issues.
Riley Quinn 3 days ago
I have no problem with workaholics because it gives me more time to myself. But control? I left home at 17 because I was sick of idiots controlling me, so I sure don't want to live with one after tasting freedom.
#5
Middle aged drunk sexually liberated women whose kisses taste of smoke and alcohol.
#6
I'm attracted to girls I have no chance with. That's the real red flag.
Tabitha 3 days ago
Well hell, we’re all attracted to people way out of our league. But most of us don’t start acting creepy and stalking them if they say no. I mean, if someone like George Clooney knocked on my door and confessed his undying love for me, I would be punching myself to check if it’s real or a dream. But I wouldn’t leave my husband for him, because my husband is a really good guy and I love him with all my heart, and it would hurt him deeply to think I would dump him if someone supposedly better came into my life. Oh, and I have dated guys who were handsome and had money, and a lot of them aren’t all that wonderful once you get to really know them, so be happy with the truly wonderful person you’re with, even if they’re not gorgeous or insanely wealthy or famous. Believe me, you’re richer for having honest love in your life, instead of the sham that a lot of celebrity marriages turn out to be.
#7
Obsessive neediness
Codependency is great
Asocial personality towards other people
Possessiveness
Basically a yandere type. If it's a red flag, that's cause it catches my attention
#8
Girls who are into creepy s**t. Sometimes, i think I'm just looking for a female version of myself
#9
The crazies.
Riley Quinn 3 days ago
Too vague. Perhaps that part of OP's problem. Specifics aren't in his wheelhouse.
#10
Jealous, controlling, possessive men.
I love it when a guy demands to check my phone, questions me about where I've been, tries to tell me I can't go out wearing that dress, etc.
I know it's sooo unhealthy but it's such a turn on
lovemy suffolk 4 days ago (edited)
Oosh. Give it 6 or 7 years, got Domestic violence written all over it. I hope OP gets therapy before getting their face bashed in.😕
#11
Lovebombing and men who are crazy/obsessed with me.
LillieMean 4 days ago
And then the hikers found a shallow grave. As they called for help, they wondered if the victim was the young woman who had disappeared a couple of months earlier.
#12
Depression coded boys with self-deprecating humor/bitterness at the world. I think it's because I suppress those traits in myself.
#13
Manipulative as f**k. I love how they work people, I love how they work me and ruin anyone caught between.
#14
Musicians and artists. They tend to hate themselves, can't get anything done, bad mental health, unreliable, no money, sometimes substance abuse problems. But damned if I don't think they're the only guys interesting enough to bother with. I'm not going to spend my precious time with a guy who works at a bank and wants to go to a baseball game on the weekends.
BeesEelsAndPups 3 days ago
How do you know that banker doesn't have an interesting inner life. I'm an engineer, I've been in bands (rock, metal, country, and funk), I study classical music, I paint (mostly watercolor), I draw, I go to concerts of all genres, I travel the world. If you really hold on to these biases about what a professional is like, you're going to miss out on the world.
#15
Sarcastic women who spend all their time with their nose in a book.
#16
Emotional dependence... I have a serious problem with wanting to comfort a sad little guy lol
OpheliaPoe 3 days ago
I used to be into guys I reflectively have called "fixer uppers." Looking back I wanted to be so special and so loved that being with me "fixed" them. This either makes no sense to you or I just totally called you out. There's no in between.
#17
I love opinionated girls who'll argue with me for the sake of it and generally just despise everything.
The one that got away kinda thing was this absolutely stunning Lebanese girl who told my friend to go f**k himself when he tried to peer pressure her into something.
You argue with me and even slightly attractive, I'm immediately smitten.
#18
Displaying the symptoms of BPD where I’m the limerent object for that person.
Down to do any stupid activity we think of 💯
Excitement 💯
Fun 💯
Best s*x ever 💯
Aaand then it always crashes and burns spectacularly and I’m paranoid there’s a crazy person out for my blood and wondering what it is in me that keeps this cycle going.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me in 70% of my adult relationships and I’m definitely the common denominator here.
Leah Brown 3 days ago
TIL... what a limerent object is! Pretty happy I made it this far without requiring that term in my vocabulary.
#19
Arrogance and people who believe they’re very intelligent/more intelligent than most people. Or smarter than me, at least.
BeesEelsAndPups 3 days ago
I am attracted to women who ARE smarter than me. Not who believe they are. The easiest way to tell if they are smart, is if they have no interest in me whatsoever. To paraphrase Groucho Marx, I'd never want to date any woman who would fall so low as to want to date me
#20
A f*****g unhinged and inappropriate laugh
BeesEelsAndPups 3 days ago
Is that a red flag? Maybe she's just comfortable expressing humor, and hasn't been lead to believe that women should be seen and not heard.
#21
They are terrific in bed, but act slightly odd out of it. That should be a red flag for me. They usually end up being bat s**t crazy once I’ve committed to the relationship.
But to be fair. The common denominator is me. Maybe I *drive* them crazy. Who knows?
Riley Quinn 3 days ago
Who knows? Well, without therapy to find out why, it'll remain a state secret.
#22
A little bit of jealousy/possessiveness...because I am that way too
#23
Narcissism. Looks a hell of a lot like self confidence until it's too late.
BeesEelsAndPups 3 days ago
I can understand that. There are signs though. Self confident people aren't sensitive. I know I'm good at my job, I don't need validation from others. If you tell me I did something wrong, I'll take an interest to what you have to say, and learn from you, regardless of your proficiency. I make mistakes, and other ideas are valid. Narcissists cannot handle criticism of any kind. I once asked my ex wife to stop putting slime down the sink because it was clogging the pipes. That turned into an hour of being yelled at.
#24
Neediness.
I'm an anxious attachment type so when a woman needs me, I feel like I have value.
Riley Quinn 3 days ago
Therapy, and perhaps medication for the anxiety. That way you might be able to grow up and learn to live without having someone prop you up.
#25
I like clingy. Like, send me texts throughout the day. Tell me how much you like me/love me. Send me good morning/good night texts. If there's something going on in your day message me. Stuff like that. If we're on the couch together, put an arm around me, just behave like you're "afraid to lose me" i love that s**t.
My ex really disliked that stuff.
#26
Avoidant attachment styles. From start to finish, I've seen the dance I get caught in with these people. It's not fun, always ends badly, and I know better, but I can't seem to stay away from them.
#27
I was told by a girl I dated years and years ago that I've had too much success with unavailable women, and I think she was honestly spot on. I think for a long time there, I attached value to the idea of "winning over" or "convincing" a girl I was into that I was totally a high value dude and she should totally date me. That whole "alpha male" b******t, really. Conversely, it caused me to almost be universally disinterested in women who DID express interest in me up front. I always told myself it was cause they all just weren't my type physically, but I'm not so sure now. Maybe it was always more psychological.
I'm at the point now where I just kinda want something in between: I want a girl who excites me and sparks some feelings of lust, but who is also mutually into me. I'm not really interested in trying to chase or "persuade" people anymore. A mutual chase, maybe. Like "hey, I'm clearly demonstrating that I like you, so let's play a little game of tag." That can be fun. But not that whole "on the hunt" mentality.
#28
Short girls with thick thighs, tattoos, and trauma.
#29
I like women that everyone else hates. You would think that would be a hint but no
Riley Quinn 3 days ago
Depends. Maybe your friends are the losers, and it's time to meet new people.
#31
It’s deemed by society that people who are in a relationship with someone and they decide not to have friends of the opposite s*x is a red flag. To me this is a green flag. It will always be a very very green flag.
#32
Emotionally unavailable.
It feels nice not to be threatened with actually having to stay with them or anything. I like that they don't try to take over my life, and if they wanted to do that, they just leave quietly without saying anything. They don't ask questions, they don't make a fuss, they don't ask for what they need, they just give up and disappear.
Definitely safer than other possibilities.
#33
Being clingy or annoying, I'd say
Riley Quinn 3 days ago
Don't mind the occasional text, but when someone is blowing up my phone because they're bored and don't know how to be alone, that's it for me. You're blocked.
#34
Depressed / debbie downer chicks.
Silberwolf 4 days ago
People are often attracted to behaviour they know from early childhood on. No matter if healthy or not.
#35
Girls that I know might be a "flight risk" when things start to get serious....
I STILL miss the last one, introduced me to her kids one week, the next was too busy to hang, smh.
#36
Silence. I find it mysterious and intriguing. It’s all good until you’re in a relationship with the person and it’s like having a relationship with a wall.
#37
Guys who are mean to me but secretly in LOVE with me. Bad boys. Guys who are desperate/obsessive for me. Impulsive. Opinionated. Argumentative. Not polite. Wear all black. Unpredictable. Obsessed with my gender to an unhealthy level. Inherently REALLY smart at almost everything but don’t care. Don’t care about social shaming. They make sure they always get what they want. Slightly misogynistic. Insecure guys with inner turmoil/anger. 😮💨
#38
When she told me she had s*x before coming over for my turn
Poll Question
Why do you think some people are attracted to red flags?
Thrill and excitement
Sense of vulnerability
Desire to fix someone
Lack of awareness
What do you think ?
LillieMean 4 days ago
I came here because I thought I'd get ideas for fictional characters. It's healthy to fantasize about certain types of people, but that's the level a healthy person should stay at. I have my own red flag attractions, but in real life I avoid such people. Well, I'm one step closer to why my future characters end up packed in a suitcase or buried in a shallow grave.
LillieMean 4 days ago
I came here because I thought I'd get ideas for fictional characters. It's healthy to fantasize about certain types of people, but that's the level a healthy person should stay at. I have my own red flag attractions, but in real life I avoid such people. Well, I'm one step closer to why my future characters end up packed in a suitcase or buried in a shallow grave.
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