Judging others—it’s something that we all do, all the time. Whether we’re aware of it or entirely subconsciously, we’re constantly evaluating and interpreting the world around us. Making comments about people and situations in our heads. Checking how the world conforms to how we imagine it should be like. And frowning upon anyone who litters!
After being prompted to open up by redditor u/supercoliofy, internet users began sharing the things that make them silently judge people. Taking a deep dive into their comments is enlightening: we’ve judged people for similar things; we’ve done some of the things in this list that deserve judgment.
Read on for some silent judgment-gone-loud, upvote the posts you agree with, and drop on by the comment section to share your opinions, dear Pandas. Do bamboo thieves make you angry? Do you think people give other bears more recognition? We’re very interested to hear what makes you silently judge someone.
Bored Panda reached out to Lee Chambers, a Psychologist and Wellbeing Consultant, to talk about why we judge other people, as well as what role this plays in our lives.
"Judging others is something that we as humans do, both consciously and automatically, and there are a number of reasons why we do it. Comically, we are often told as children not to judge others and have stories shared about how judging others can mean we upset them or lose opportunities to see what really lies behind our perception," he told Bored Panda. Scroll down for our interview with Lee!
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I immediately judge you if you make fun of someone who's trying. I saw someone make fun of an overweight classmate despite the fact that he was doing diets, running, and exercising. He's putting an effort and you have no right to s**t on him.
Psychologist Lee, the founder of Essentialise Workplace Wellbeing and PhenomGames, revealed to Bored Panda some of the reasons why we judge other people.
"Sometimes, we judge others to feel superior ourselves, finding faults in others, highlighting them, and feeling better about ourselves in the process. Sometimes, we use it to work out where we fit in, recognizing how we want to be, where our aspirations lie, and how we don't want to become," he said.
"Sometimes, it's in response to our own flaws, and we attack others for what we don't like or don't see into ourselves. And on other occasions, it's to fit into a wider group who judge something or someone, and we conform and perform with the same judgment."
People who have no awareness of their surroundings when they're out in public.
It doesn't cost anything to wait your turn in a queue, hold a door open for someone, turn on your indicators 10 seconds earlier than you just did, or not block off the entire pavement because you want to hold hands with your husband / wife.
It's so selfish. Drives me mad just thinking about it.
Thank you for the gold, kind stranger.
people who don't say please and thank you.
people who act like a d**k to service staff like cashiers and waiters.
people who generally show a lack of consideration to other people.
one thing my dad always told me: manners cost nothing.
According to Lee, being judgmental can be good and it "does have some benefits when used mindfully," however.
"It can help us to set goals, find alignment with our values, it can help us to build the self-awareness of others and it can boost our self-esteem," he told Bored Panda.
"Add to that it can also help us to make positive social choices, and it's understanding how and why we judge that gives us the ability to use it for our benefits instead of escaping our flaws or pulling others down."
Littering. It hurts to watch, I don't see how people can litter.
Edit: Hey Cloin
I think it is what you are taught in the home this is something that needs to be learned from birth! If I tried it outside - would you do that at home?
I judge people for not washing their hands after using the bathroom
OMG! YES! My OCD spikes out of control for things like this. End up getting panic attacks if I feel surrounded by too much of it😓
Far from everyone makes errors with malicious intent. Quite often, people aren’t even aware that they’re making a mistake. Or they might not think that something that elicits judgment (like parking wrong or being late to meet someone all the friggin’ time) is actually that big of a deal. It’s selfishness and we’ve all got that, just in varying amounts.
We know that being self-aware of our own flaws is difficult. For one, nobody likes thinking that they’re less than perfect. Besides, we don’t have the luxury of seeing our behavior from a different perspective. That’s why it’s important to speak up if you see someone constantly making the same mistakes.
When they have no knowledge of the topic but is still arguing to the person who actually has the knowledge. I mean seriously if you dont know what you're talking about then stfu
People who talk really loud on the phone in quiet public places.
If you don’t hear any criticism about what you do, then it’s only natural to assume you’re ‘perfect’ and ‘flawless.’ If there’s no feedback, how can we expect someone to learn? Overly selfish people don’t change their ways at the drop of a hat. It takes a series of moments of clarity to get them to think that maybe—just maybe—they might need to rethink some things. However, some individuals find it hard to get past the embarrassment that comes from realizing they’ve been making mistakes.
"We spend a lot of time and effort presenting an ideal version of ourselves to other people. When something happens that contrasts with the image we’ve been projecting—when we say or do something that shows we actually aren’t as graceful or as smart as we’d like people to believe—we feel embarrassed," Vanessa Bohns from Cornell University explained to Bored Panda.
People walking toward you that don't put equal effort into avoiding collision. I'll move a bit, but you should do the same. You expect me to walk around you?
This! One time, 3 people were walking towards me side by side, taking up the entire pavement. I would have had to walk in the busy road to avoid them. They did not move over one inch. I just stopped in the pavement and looked at them. They also stopped in front of me until it got awkward and they grew enough social awareness to apologise... 😑
I can't stand people who piss on the toilet seat and don't clean it.
How could you just leave your own urine and poop on a public toilet seat with a clear conscience? ಠ▃ಠ
"Discovering you were wrong about something most everyone else around you has long known to be true is one of those moments. In that moment we learn, 'Wait a minute, maybe I haven’t been presenting the image of being smart or worldly that I thought I was presenting all this time,' which is embarrassing."
One powerful way to change for the better is to become kinder, more altruistic, more giving. And there’s an added benefit, too—you’ll become happier while making the world a better place.
Not using a turn signal when driving. It's not that hard, and it's pretty arrogant not to use one
I think I've been the only BMW driver that used their turn signals. I’ve heard tales of others doing the same. But they're probably apocryphal and now lost in time.
I can't stand people who don't pick up their dog's s**t! You're a scumbag!
or those folks who leave doggy poo bags hanging from trees and bushes like weird Christmas decorations... they just can't be bothered to put it in the doggy bin..
Being unjustifiably rude to waiters, sales associates, janitors, etc. (basically anyone who is being paid to perform a service for you)
It is extremely telling of a person's character.
Saw a old, spoiled lady getting her bad character out on a approx. 20 y.o. waiter, because he didn't get the 6 wine glasses at the same filling level on first try. From then on, she always watched him and shook her head and said things like "i would be shamed soo much if i were him". Next morning (it was in a hotel) i overheard from her family that she got a stomach bug and diarrhea and can't make it to breakfast. Well deserved
"The 10 keys to happier living are giving, relating, exercising, awareness, trying out, direction, resilience, emotions, acceptance, and meaning. We are likely to be happier if our lives have direction, meaning, and purpose and if we are part of something bigger than ourselves," Sarah Vero from ‘Action for Happiness’ told Bored Panda.
People who bring children to situations that are not appropriate for children.
Mmm.... define 'appropriate' for children. The picture suggests an office. I don't judge for this. People don't want to bring their kids to offices and the like. If they do it's usually because they don't have any other option and they are doing the best they can with what they have. Bars and genuine inappropriate places and times are a different story.
Even worse are the people who play their music through their speakers on a trail. You're outside its gorgeous there are birds and s**t. Turn off you god damn music you're ruining it for the rest of us.
Finally: "I judge people who complain about politics, but choose not to vote
Unless you can't legally vote. In my country, we have lots of people disenfranchised from voting, often for very petty reasons. If you're politically active and engaged in other ways, I figure you've earned your right to complain -- even if you can't vote.
"Think about how you can reach out and do things for others, help a neighbor or volunteer for a cause, we get happiness high from helping other people. Or start small and simply list three things that you can be grateful for each night before bed. Take it slow and be kind to yourself,” she suggested how people can learn to open up to new experiences and helping others.
Parking.
If you can't get within the lines the first time, it's ok to adjust.
Not paying attention to your screaming kid. Like not even trying.
Throwing others under the bus in the work place for their own personal gain. Especially when they do it in front of a group of people,
I work at a Starbucks in a grocery store and I have two regulars with scrawny, super scraggly kids and they spend $7-$10 on one or two drinks while they yell at their kid for wanting a 75 cent doughnut.
The kicker is that they're paying with food stamps.
So that. I judge that.
I feel sorry when mommy and daddy coming in for lots of beer and stronger stuff, but the kids got nothing.
When you tailgate me when there is a slow car in front of me. What a pointless action and people do it all the time. It accomplishes nothing except making the road even more dangerous than it already is.
People who don't take care of their dogs.
I'm not talking about people who don't feed some super premium dog food, or get them groomed every 2 weeks, or even those people who opt to euthanize because they can't afford a 12K surgery.
I'm talking about doing the bare f**king minimum. Take a brush and brush your dog. Find a food that doesn't give him explosive diarrhea every time he has to take a s**t. Give that little turd factory some discipline so he stops trying to maul toddlers when he inevitably dashes out your front door and across the street. For f**ks sake, run your labs and goldens until they're too tired to move any more. A tired dog is a happy dog.
I judge people who shut down those asking questions and trying to learn more
so religious zealots, obstinate teachers, totalitarian governments - most of society's figures of authority
I'm not always silent about it, but people at my local supermarket who refuse to return their shopping carts, but instead leave them to roll into other cars whenever the next wind gust comes along.
The last lady I confronted about this said some bulls**t that was basically blah blah blah my bad back, but she managed to push it all around the store and then fully loaded out to her car, now she suddenly can't push a now-empty cart a few more feet to the return?? Can't stand those people.
In Belgium we have to put a coin in the trolley to be able to use it. Simple solution.
People who are habitually late to things. It's one of the most inconsiderate things I can thing of and yet it seems so common
Ppl hu typ lyk dis.
Or people who don't use punctuation or at least a damn full stop to break up their god damned sentences. Drives me insane and although I'm not the greatest at punctuation and grammar, I automatically think you're and idiot.
Definitely smoking cigarettes while pregnant. I can't help not judging you for that s**t.
I have a coworker who "only feeds her children bio foods" but she's smoking while breastfeeding...
If you don't like animals....I don't know if I like you.
There's nothing I dislike more than when a husband feels like he has to act like his wife's authority while other people are around. I hate gender roles in relationships
People who have their phones out in a goddamn movie theater. We all payed the same price. I don't care if you don't want to get your money's worth, I do. I am going to yell and you and if you don't stop, throw popcorn at you till you do.
Constantly posting condescending political rants on facebook.
Also those who can't admit that they are wrong, or when they've lost. 🤨
Anyone who adopts a "whatever" policy to being late. I freak out when I'm late for something, and it absolutely blows my mind when people just don't care.
I've seen way too many people who think arriving an hour late to an important event makes them cooler
Being involved in an MLM... Scentsy, Essential Oils, It Works!, etc.
It's not that I don't appreciate the fact that they are trying to better themselves. It's that I assume they are really stupid for getting suckered in the first place.
Crass public behaviour, especially while drunk. If you can't handle your alcohol without being a s**t, don't drink. Hate it.
People who give disabled people dirty looks. Or shops that don't have access like we need to get in too you know
I have even experienced disabled people giving other disabled people a hard time. Ahhhh humans, what to do.
Load More Replies...People who leave unwanted items scattered all over the store, especially things that need to be frozen and are just sitting in the canned goods or the bread aisle. If you decide you don't want something, give it to the checkout clerk so it can be returned to the right place. Especially do not leave raw meat just sitting around. Also, people who "donate" so-long-past-expiry-that-it's-not-safe food and other unusable items to the Food Bank. The less fortunate do not want your six year old cocktail onions or your opened package of crackers.
As someone who used to work in a grocery store, I totally agree. You don't want something? Just give it to me so I can have someone put it back. Such a waste to find a package of chicken stuffed in between the magazine racks.
Load More Replies...I judge people who wear their mask under their nose and think they're doing it right. I mean come on, we're like 3 years into this thing and you're still half assing the mask.
People who give disabled people dirty looks. Or shops that don't have access like we need to get in too you know
I have even experienced disabled people giving other disabled people a hard time. Ahhhh humans, what to do.
Load More Replies...People who leave unwanted items scattered all over the store, especially things that need to be frozen and are just sitting in the canned goods or the bread aisle. If you decide you don't want something, give it to the checkout clerk so it can be returned to the right place. Especially do not leave raw meat just sitting around. Also, people who "donate" so-long-past-expiry-that-it's-not-safe food and other unusable items to the Food Bank. The less fortunate do not want your six year old cocktail onions or your opened package of crackers.
As someone who used to work in a grocery store, I totally agree. You don't want something? Just give it to me so I can have someone put it back. Such a waste to find a package of chicken stuffed in between the magazine racks.
Load More Replies...I judge people who wear their mask under their nose and think they're doing it right. I mean come on, we're like 3 years into this thing and you're still half assing the mask.