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Someone Asks “What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?” And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers

Kids are not for everyone. Yet, many default to expecting people to start procreating once they settle down, even insisting that those who claim not to want children will surely someday change their minds. Especially women.

But there are plenty of valid reasons for living child-free. And if a person doesn't want to commit to spending around 18 years of their life caring for another human being whose well-being depends entirely on them, maybe we shouldn't force them into it? Regardless of whether or not they belong to the heteronormative part of society.

Drawing attention to the problem, Redditor AGstudios22 asked other platform users who don't plan on having kids what made them come to that conclusion, and we thought that reading through the answers can provide you with quite a few interesting insights, regardless of your own position.

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Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers From my own experience, I don’t like the thought of bringing a kid into the world we live in. I’d much sooner adopt a kid who’s in a shifty place or in a struggling area. There are millions of kids starving out there, there are millions of kids being abused out there. Rather save one of them than bring another kid into this retched place

Red_Archived_505 , vperemen.com Report

Final score:

992points

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Jay Kay 2 years ago

This!

406points

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I really, really don't want to be a parent and I feel like that should at the very least be a prerequisite to having them. My grandmother didn't seem to enjoy parenthood, my mom certainly didn't. They did it because they were "supposed to". I'm breaking the cycle.

theredheaddiva Report

Final score:

860points

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Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

I’ve occasionally questioned my normal-ness: shouldn’t every healthy adult animal want to perpetuate the species, at least a little? Shouldn’t I have instincts to reproduce? But I don’t XD I want cats and dogs!

453points

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Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Selfishness. I like the freedom of being able to wake up or go wherever i want without worrying “whos gonna watch my kids” or “my kids are awake so i have to be awake” so i guess I value my personal freedom more then anything a child could provide me

WhyAmIEvenHereJesus , Nina Uhlíková Report

Final score:

730points

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Tilly Jean 2 years ago

It concerns me that it is often regarded as ‘selfishness’. Your entire life is changed, completely. There is nothing wrong with looking after ‘you’. There are enough children in the world, focus on being a better human being for yourself, so the your own freedoms.

716points

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Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The fact that nothing really makes me WANT to have them. I feel like you should have an overwhelming desire to become a parent - I don’t, so why would I have a kid?

pupsnpogonas , Nataliya Vaitkevich Report

Final score:

727points

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Tilly Jean 2 years ago

Good point. You need to be wanting kids 100%. You can’t take it back. Plus it’s important that a child is brought into the world and know they are absolutely wanted.

423points

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You know when you are out in public, and you see parents of children and immediately think, "Those people should have never had kids."?

That's me. I'm those people. Not only do I agree with you, I also took your advice.

erieus_wolf Report

Final score:

674points

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Iifa A. 2 years ago

Yes! I'm also one of those people, and I'm taking your advice further and will cross the road over to escape children.

278points

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Can I answer even though I have them?

The fact that I have them makes me not want them.

I love my kids and will lay down my life for them, but raising kids SUCKS!

They financially, physically and mentally suck the life out of you.

Sure they have their moments but there is nothing rewarding about raising kids, the only thing you get in return is judgement and premature aging.

I don't regret having them, but man I'll be celebrating hard when they're adults and leave home.

MelDea Report

Final score:

618points

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V33333P 2 years ago

Thank you for being honest with your experience. Seriously

476points

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Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Well the total lack of wishing to have a child. Zero desire. Just like I have no desire to have a pet rhino or become a lawyer.

Gyunda , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

583points

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Jaguarundi 2 years ago

I watched my friends, single moms, with their kid issues. Kid's sick? I have to call out from work. School issue? I have to go see to that. Groceries? I have to make sure the kid has appropriate food, I may have to eat ramen myself though. I was never ready to make those kinds of decisions. Even two parent households had a lot to shovel through with just one kid. No thanks, I'm good by myself.

315points

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Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I can barely take care of myself sometimes it feels like, can’t possibly take on another human. More selfishly there’s still a lot of things I want to do that I couldn’t if I had a kid. Lastly, just a pessimistic view of the world and the desire to not want to bring new life into that.

gnophy , Sharon McCutcheon Report

Final score:

544points

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Tilly Jean 2 years ago

It’s not considered selfish if you’re choosing to look after yourself. Also, you’re thinking of the sorry world that hypothetical child will be left with in the future.

242points

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Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Not wanting to pass on genetic chronic pain/mental illness. Also kids = no money

JamesBlonde21 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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515points

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Ozacoter 2 years ago

This is really important. Many illneses are inheritable but it is so normalised to have biological kids that many knew the risk and still choose to have kids. Knowing that they might live in pain for their entire life. There are alternatives like egg/sperm donnors or adoption that at least avoid the genetic issues. I cannot resoect a person that will force their diseases on a child just because they want a bio kid.

290points

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#10

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The screaming in the next aisle over at the grocery store because they can't have the <insert item> they want.

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Final score:

485points

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Błażej Kowalczyk 2 years ago

Oh my god, this

256points

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#11

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've just never wanted any. I never played with baby dolls as a child, I never thought twice about babysitting as a teen, and I was always uncomfortable whenever people said "*when* you have kids" (as opposed to "*if*").

I never found babies cute, I can't imagine spending 24/7 with a little human, and most of all the idea of being responsible for this little creature's happiness and growth, and making sure they become a decent, functioning human being, is *incredibly* intimidating.

Mwuuh , ANTONI SHKRABA Report

Final score:

444points

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V33333P 2 years ago

Yeah I won't lie, I find babies just downright creepy looking and their smell is in no way pleasant to me

269points

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#12

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers After what’s going on in America right now I’m considering getting my tubes tied

allero0 , Ted Eytan Report

Final score:

441points

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Ozacoter 2 years ago

For all people considering it the subreddit "childfree" has a huge and international list of sterilisation friendly doctors.

311points

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#13

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've been dealing with a mentally disabled older brother for nearly all my life. He's 32 yrs old, but acts like a 7 yr old nearly ALL the time. I love him to death, but after so long of dealing with him growing up (I'm 22), I just do not have the patience to handle something like that again.

VanessaClarkLove replied: This is my big one. I feel terrible for this, but the fear of having a child that isn’t going to grow into a fully independent person with no limitations stopped me dead. If there was a guarantee they would be of average mental capability, I might reconsider.

MajesticxFlan , Nathan Anderson Report

Final score:

399points

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Kate Jones 2 years ago (edited)

You know, at least as someone with handicapped issues, it's understandable (and often challenged people hold down jobs and can take care of themselves well!). What's worse- and a big fear for me- is when you have a fully functional adult child who doesn't take care of themselves. You see it all the time; grown adults still living at home and can't hold down a full time job, these man-babies/ princesses who are taken care of by pushover parents. I don't mean someone who's in college and paying rent is still young and figuring things out, etc. I mean these people who still act like children when they're 30 and yell at their parents from their smelly and messy basement rooms, depressive and being willfully unhealthy or becoming drug addicts and being THAT kind of burden is a fear for some people, too. I hate to say it this way, but having loser kids is a legit fear. It's hard to live with someone who enjoys victimhood or is in an out of rehab. You shouldn't go into it thinking it's an 18 year commitment; it's possibly a lifetime commitment.

335points

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#14

*gestures wildly* the state of the f*****g world, maybe?

It’s irresponsible to bring a child into the world not knowing if you can provide for them a happy, healthy childhood. And as an American, I just can’t envision a future where my next of kin doesn’t suffer terribly for the economic and ecological blunders of our leadership.

Clockw0rk Report

Final score:

382points

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that_curly_girl 🇺🇦 2 years ago

this!

122points

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#15

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers My ex who said "now you can't leave me"

Between_the_narrows , Guillaume de Germain Report

Final score:

379points

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Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

Good to know ex is in their title now

350points

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#16

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The vast majority of parents I meet complain subtley about having children and how much of a struggle it is, how expensive it is, how they get no sleep, no free time etc.

Then, they usually realise they can't be seen to complain about having children and finish their complaints by saying "But its the best thing I ever did." This part always feels like the least genuine bit and everything before feels like the truth.

Furthermore, one of my best friends has a child and spoke candidly about it, saying "I love him to bits but wish I hadn't have had a kid."

Source: Im a teacher who deals with kids and parents daily.

TheHawk17 , Ksenia Chernaya Report

Final score:

377points

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Glitterati 2 years ago (edited)

Two things can be true at once. You can love your child fiercely but also wish they’d sleep past 5am 😄

291points

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#17

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Because all the "best" kid moments to me are not worth losing the ability for my husband and I to spontaneously take off a random Wednesday from our jobs, have some THC, and enjoy the 1200$ Xbox bundle we just got.

Which is what we did today. No ragrets.

GirlNamedTex , cottonbro Report

Final score:

373points

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Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 2 years ago

* happy playstation noises *

187points

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#18

World's overpopulated, would rather rescue a kid from the system

dw87190 Report

Final score:

356points

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Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

Those poor souls need so much love, and the government wants to add to their ranks instead of letting same sex couples have them

197points

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#19

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers - history of severe life altering mental health issues I would NEVER wish to risk passing on (bi-polar, clinical depression, psychosis etc) my Mother and Grandmother on her side. Somehow I seem to have turned out okay but it meant I had a really difficult upbringing, but I would hate to go through what she does and don't want to risk passing it on.

- Lack of freedom / spontaneity. My fiancé and I are like adult children, we're in our 30's and love to play computer games, go out for random ice cream at 11pm, last minute overseas holidays, go out for meals etc whenever we want, I do not want to give that up. A holiday with a child sounds like a chore to me too. Every outing has to be calculated and organised, a simple trip to the store is now a huge chore and time consuming.

- Loss of self, I don't want to become "Mummy" and nothing else. (Not saying that's what happens to everyone, but I feel some people get lost in their kids and lose all sense of themselves as their world now revolves around their children, which is understandable).

- Cost. I do not want to struggle financially, I absolutely cannot afford children and I think it is selfish to have them when you can't provide for them appropriately. Unlike some childfree people, I don't want to put all my focus into my career, I have an average job, it pays enough, without kids I am able to have a comfortable life but I also LOVE my job and am happy. If I had kids we would have to change careers or get second jobs, which I am not willing to do.

- No experience with kids, I don't know what to do with them our how to talk to them. (Please note, I don't hate kids at all, I just don't want any am and awkward with them) I have zero first cousins, my brother is also child free so no nieces or nephews, I've always been awkward around kids even as a kid, and knew from quite a young age parenthood wasn't for me. I do not feel like I have a maternal instinct at all. I do not get giddy seeing babies, but show me a puppy and i'll be melting!

- Lack of sleep, stress. I want a peaceful and somewhat simple life. I enjoy quiet, I enjoy alone time, I enjoy my sleep. Children to not align with that whatsoever.

- Affect on relationship. Children can ruin relationships, it's not their fault but they do. Lack of intimacy, lack of quality time, financial issues causing problems etc. This is something people can work through, but I don't want to risk putting a strain on my relationship as things are perfect for us as they are.

- Risk of severe disability. I absolutely am not willing to look after a severely disabled child for the rest of my life. I have seen how absolutely broken some of these parents are. I saw 2 people yesterday who were clearly husband and wife in their 70's pushing around what appeared to be their profoundly disabled 40ish year old son. That is not the life I am willing to have, but I also don't want to put myself in a position to have to give a child up for adoption.

Sserenityy , Kelly Sikkema Report

Final score:

354points

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Glitterati 2 years ago

Very valid points ☝️

165points

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#20

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I have tokophobia (extreme fear of pregnancy).

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Final score:

340points

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I’ve Seen Things 2 years ago

Cannot upvote this enough! Catholic all girls school run by nuns, where it was rammed home that the worst thing that can happen to you was teenage pregnancy. Classmates also amplified this “fear” and judgement. For some of us, this fear stuck for life not just the school years. I’ve been explaining/citing tokophobia for decades.

265points

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#21

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Honestly, TikTok etc..

I can raise a kid how I think right but there’s only so much you can shield them from the internet and I’m scared of what the future holds with celebrity/influencer brainwashing culture.
I feel like my generation (early 90’s) was the last generation that was largely safe from this..

AtasHRC , McKaela Taylor Report

Final score:

321points

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Random Panda 2 years ago

I feel this so much. I want kids, but this is something that really worries me about how I'm going to raise them. The Internet is as harmful as it is useful.

163points

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#22

I find them annoying.

Also I have no paternal instinct, don't have the temperament to be a good parent, and I'm poor.

It would be unfair to any child to have me imposed on them as a parent.

PovoRetare Report

Final score:

313points

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Esiaa 2 years ago (edited)

'I'm poor' this. I barely have enough for myself sometimes. I can't imagine having a kid. Unless the kid gets a job too.

9points

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#23

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Those kids who have parents that are perfectly normal but still somehow act like mini serial killers.

mikmikthegreat , EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA Report

Final score:

278points

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Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

Children are born without ethics and morals pre-installed. Of course they’re tiny sociopaths until their parents teach them better… and sometimes, not even normal/good parents can teach them better because the kids don’t WANT to learn society’s rules and conform to them.

151points

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#24

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers my mental health and financial situation. i wouldn’t want to raise a kid the same way i was raised.

badasslexxc , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

272points

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🦋vall🦋シ︎ 2 years ago

This!

69points

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#25

It costs too much. The average birth costs like 40k without complications. Decent daycare near me is $1400 a month. That alone is crippling.

It's bad for the environment and I question the morality of putting my children through the potential climate wars and/or apocalypse.

Also, sometimes despite your best efforts and doing everything correctly, your kids turn out to be a**holes.

cavemanfitz Report

Final score:

258points

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Panda Kicki 2 years ago

The cost issue is really dependent on where you live. We have free maternal care and delivery in Sweden and the max cost of daycare is about 150 dollars for the first kid and cheaper for siblings. (Sweden)

99points

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#26

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I’ve been clinically depressed for almost a decade. Post partum depression is one of the things that terrifies me about the prospect of having kids. Also I am in no way mentally stable enough to be a parent.

LillFluffPotato , Sarah Chai Report

Final score:

248points

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Glitterati 2 years ago

Pregnancy and childbirth gave me severe ptsd. I had PPD and anxiety. I can’t have any more children due to the impact on my mental health. The struggle is real. I still wouldn’t change a thing as my child is the love of my life but if I had never known that love I wouldn’t miss it.

130points

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#27

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Watching my sister's kid get kicked out of daycare for slamming a kids face into a table and hitting a teacher. he's 3, and the most difficult kid I've met.

ToeMahSick , Mick Haupt Report

Final score:

241points

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CatGirl 2 years ago

I don't know that I've ever hated something as much as I've hated the difficult kids I've taught. Just little animals.

145points

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#28

I love my kids but they completely ruined my life and i don't advocate for anyone to have them

rcarnes911 Report

Final score:

214points

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YouKiddingMe 2 years ago

How did they ruin it?

37points

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#29

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers My neighbor has 7 of them. The only form of communication in that house is screaming. The teenage boy just screamed in the middle of my typing this. Kid is absolute s***e at whatever game he's trying to play. My work meetings are constantly interrupted by his whiny cursing/crying sessions.

QuackWaddleflow , Anna Shvets Report

Final score:

213points

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CatGirl 2 years ago

God, that sounds awful. I'd try to live somewhere else.

115points

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#30

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Pregnancy.
I’ve always been terrified of pregnancy, but I thought I’d feel more comfortable with it as I got older.
Nope. I’m 34 and the thought of being pregnant still freaks me out to no end. I’d love to adopt, but I don’t think I ever want to be pregnant.

Ilovethecolourred , Cparks Report

Final score:

206points

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Marianne 2 years ago

Adoption is so important! Pregnancy is not necessary to be a loving parent!

153points

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#31

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers 47 married no kids.

DINK life is amazing. Out of all my friends from growing up etc who have kids ranging from 3 years to 24, my wife and I have the least amount of stress. So many of them are divorced with complicated child visit schedules. So many of them can't take vacations and do things they want to do. They are stressed out all the time.

Then COVID hit-- and holy s**t. My wife and I had like a 4 month vacation during the shut down. Working out, sitting by the pool all day, watching movies, drinking cocktails on the patio- it was a taste of retirement- and its within our reach by 55. We saw our friends dealing with all the complications with virtual school etc. Yikes.

We have a low stress life. We have enough money to do what we want, live where we want, travel when we want, drive nice cars, go to nice restaurants, take a weekend in Napa, etc.

The idea that you MUST have kids is insane. There are too many people on Earth. We are going into a time of food and water shortages, probably wars over resources. Its just not worth it. We're at the end of the pinnacle of civilization in my opinion. People won't be able to live as comfortable as we can now because resources will be scarce and sadly humans seem to have no desire to solve the climate problem before its too late.

Raspberries-Are-Evil , Anilsharma26 Report

Final score:

41points

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Julie Rod 2 years ago

Yes, too many people! Which is why i think people who are against abortion are insane. Population would be out of control if every pregnancy was carried to term. It's already hard enough to compete for jobs, homes, etc. Abortion is simple and effective population control.

16points

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#32

Watching Supernanny… AND watching horny and selfish people reproduce, only to abuse their children when they’re older 🤗

studyinthai333 Report

Final score:

37points

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propgamer XL 2 years ago

I was watching supernanny and those kids behaved so monstrous. A kid in the comments said: oh I feel like I'm such a good kid now. What's my mom complaining about? I said: I'm gonna tell my kids now that they're wonderful angels.

9points

#33

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers After rent, food, and insurance I only come away with 200$ a month profit. Which is usually eaten up by a single doctor visit or necessary car part. And I live with two roommates.

Snowfreak2507 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

35points

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Amanda B Bench 2 years ago

Wow, that's scary!

3points

#34

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers thought climate change would be the most obvious answer. people who are young now are gonna suffer, but kids being born now are going to face hell.

7484815926263 , garryknight Report

Final score:

34points

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Ozacoter 2 years ago

Indeed. I live now in a very warm and dry area that 30y ago when i was a kid was visibly colder and rainier (still warm but less bad). Nobody in places of power gives a c**p about the environment. There is more hot days, less rain and we use more water. In a generation or two the nature here might be closer to a desert than a forest. I would never want kids to see this.

12points

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#35

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I work for Disney, and what I can say is 50% of parents look miserable. You’re on vacation with your family, and everyone’s miserable the whole time. That worries me. If your kid can’t stop crying in public on vacation, how does that kid react at home?

DreamPix , Matt Clare Report

Final score:

33points

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JinjoBread 2 years ago

They're probably miserable because they're at Disney. Disney sucks.

9points

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#36

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I do not want to deal with pregnancy, I do not want my perineum cut open, I don't want to p**s my pants for the rest of my life.

I do not have the patience to be a good mother. I do not have the skills. I was horrifically abused as a child and then dumped in the foster care system. I never ever had a sane and stable guardian, so what skills could I bring? Of courses most people's answer is that 'you figure it out', but I am a twice degreed Social Worker with extensive experience working with people who should not have been parents, and I can tell you that sometimes you do NOT figure it the f**k out.

Money. I JUST got to the point where I'm positive I can have enough money to pay my bills AND eat. And I'm about to turn 40 years old. If I had a child before this time, I would've been extremely stressed due to poverty, and just ended up working two jobs and never seeing the kid.

The father. Takes two to make a baby, and I've never met a man I want to deal with for the rest of my life.

I love to travel solo. I love to explore this world (well, in the Before Times, anyway). I would not have the time, money, or ability to travel the way I want.

AhFFSImTooOldForThis , Kelli McClintock Report

Final score:

33points

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Kate Jones 2 years ago

I like that you mentioned the physical trauma of having a child. It often goes unsaid. While most women generally recover fine and the postpartum is temporary, it's not the case for everyone and birth is extremely dangerous. It can change your body in ways that never go back. And if you truly want kids then it's a sacrifice you're happy to make. But physical repercussions shouldn't just be brushed off. A lot of people on this list have mentioned how much you love your kids but that's a very instinctual thing. If you say 'I'm miserable, but I love them,' then you aren't happy; you're giving into an instinctual love of your offspring that is often ingrained in your lizard brain to keep them alive. It's not a choice and it can have long-lasting physical affects on you. And we don't talk about that enough. It's like loving your parents just because you're 'supposed to' but if you're being abused, you shouldn't stay.

16points

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#37

One of the BIG reasons is that no one I know that has children makes it look the least bit attractive. They use their children alternately as trophies, bargaining chips, and excuses. If I had kids I'd have to hang out with parents more, and my god, they're boring. I was part of a book club once that happened to be mostly moms. The first couple of sessions we talked about the books and our hobbies, but then they co-opted the whole thing to talk about their boring-a*s kids.

I also enjoy freedom with my husband. We both work from home and can travel quite a bit when we want. It's already hard enough to find a petsitter.

loudlittle Report

Final score:

32points

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Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago (edited)

Having kids for any other reason than to love UNCONDITIONALLY ( even if they are LGBTQ or free thinking) is the most awful move I have ever heard of. Not retirement plan. Not gene collector. Nothing . End of discussion

4points

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#38

I was briefly married to a pedophile. It made it clear to me that I can't tell who has the potential to be a threat to my child's well being. I've known several women who were victims of CSA. I couldn't bear the thought of my child suffering like they do. It seemed like a better idea to just opt out.

bluetinycar Report

Final score:

30points

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Jude Fire 2 years ago

Im a trans male and i was raped in niddle school and i am now being sexually assaulted in high school by going into the males bathroom while still looking like my birth sex. I have never been the same afterwards. I can never look at having children the same way again. I can never look at sex the same way again. I'm Asexual but not just because I have no interest in sex. I am terrifed of someone else touching me the same way others have even if that person in the future has consent. People have touched me too many times without consent. Hell, i was sexually assaulted by my own cousin at 9 ,the first time i met him. I cant even talk to him now.

16points

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#39

1. Trauma my parents gave me
2. Cost of having a child
3. Loss of freedom
4. Potential of raising a murderer or rapist
5. Health issues before, after and during pregnancy

blaze5153439 Report

Final score:

30points

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Kristen Kircher 2 years ago

All of these, but I'd put #5 first.

2points

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#40

Glanced at a newspaper recently?

Everything written in it is worse than they're saying, on balance.

kylco Report

Final score:

29points

POST

YouKiddingMe 2 years ago

Newspaper?

1point

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#41

I don’t want my person/offspring/child to be hurt by the s**tty people in this world. Overall I think I could make a decent person, but it’s the crappy ones that make me not want to put someone else here.

celestecatherine Report

Final score:

29points

POST

#42

Late Stage Capitalism and Climate Change

bouletten_gobbler300 Report

Final score:

27points

POST

#43

Seeing my family. This curse ends with me.

mlc2475 Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

What a noble cause you have undertaken, Squire mcl2475

4points

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#44

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers It's irreversible, you can't unhave kids when you've committed to it, so when you have all those doubts and fears you might not be a good parent, it's hard to take the plunge.

Plus I'd have to find someone to have a kid with and make more money for it to be viable but I think they're secondary to actually wanting to go through with it.

Latifi_WDC_2023 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Julie Rod 2 years ago

I'd rather regret NOT having kids, than regret having them.

23points

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#45

Not trusting myself enough that I'd be motivated enough to take care about them constantly and treat them the way they deserve!

adidhadid Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Mama Penguin 2 years ago

Yep. I feel that.

5points

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#46

All of it - the money, the time, the mental toll, the world we live in, the overpopulation, the lack of interest in kids, the lack of a partner, the presumable lack of parental skills, my own autism, the autism that my kids would probably inherit...

Nofabe Report

Final score:

23points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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#47

mainly I don't want to put up with them, I don't need to deal with kid s**t that never stops, just changes form.

remainoftheday Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

Like a never ending Christmas movie marathon

1point

#48

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers It’s taken me 30 years to “find myself.” When I imagine losing all of that identity and replacing it with a big MAMA BEAR sticker, my stomach turns.
There are some aspects of having a kid that are appealing: they’ll adore me, they might end up loving all the same music/ movies/ hobbies as me, they’ll love and care for me when I’m old. But none of that is guaranteed and seems selfish and also not worth the gamble.

Also my family generally ignores me but loses their minds around babies and if that’s the only reason they would want to be in my life then no thanks.

internet_poser , Oleksandr Pidvalnyi Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

These were all the reasons I contemplated it. Glad common sense kicked in.

5points

#49

Generational trauma. Trying my best to change the family script!

cosmonaut2017 Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

A noble cause indeed

3points

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Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#50

They're loud, annoying, expensive, gross, and I like to sleep. I don't want to be woken up in the middle of the night

makeupandscience Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

I feel you

5points

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#51

I recognize the irony here… but they’re selfish… and ungrateful. Kids rarely show gratitude for anything you do for them, they don’t like to share, they’re wildly disrespectful, and I don’t have the tool set to correct those things before they become free actors in society.

Kids can ruin the mood in an entire room or establishment, they can destroy the most valuable things you own without real consequence, they can hurt people both physically and emotionally, and they build a prison around you financially. Doesn’t that sound terrible?

Paratrooperkid Report

Final score:

21points

POST

VM37 2 years ago

The things you are describing are just kids not beeing raised right. I don't mean to bragg or idolise myself, but my kids are pollite, frendly, pattient to other. They are happy to share toys, know not to take other toys without permission. Never tuined anything while we were guests. I make sure they don't brother people in public places. So children are not little goblins by default, they become due to lack of parental guidence.

9points

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#52

I don't think being born into this s**t is something I want to inflict on another person without their consent. If I felt that being a good parent and helping my kid was enough, I would consider it. As it stands, I'm much more interested in adoption.

Leningradite Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Libstak 2 years ago

This. Having no control of the future of the children to ensure they won't suffer just trying to live in this world, also I hate that we all die at some point and then disappear in the cold corners of history like we never mattered at all. Totally morbid, I know but why would I add to what I see as the end result of countless lives lived before me that are just gone now.

1point

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#53

The idea of being responsible for a human being isn't for me.

Goobula Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

I grew up with three younger siblings and parents who are lawyers...lawyers. responsibility gets tiring

2points

#54

I want to spend my time and money doing what I enjoy. I can't do that with kids.

bigred91224 Report

Final score:

20points

POST

LoveBug 2 years ago

I'm with you 💯

1point

#55

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Losing the rest of my youth in exchange for raising a child.

a1234321 , Sharon McCutcheon Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

And there are no takebacks

3points

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#56

I would be a *terrible* parent.

IAmABurdenOnSociety Report

Final score:

18points

POST

#57

The time, the expense. I don’t like kids much. It just never felt like a good match for me and it wouldn’t be fair to have kids knowing how I feel about it.

DavyManners Report

Final score:

18points

POST

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#58

The idea that I'd rather be an established surgeon living a comfortable life rather than a struggling white collar worker attempting to juggle a family and marriage.

6twoRaptor Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

You live them dreams

2points

#59

Children are cool and all but they consume your life. They become your main responsibility, take all your love and you give it willingly, require so much money and they're just their own person. It's cool that we're able to do that and it sounds fun, sometimes. But if that's my life for the rest of my life? No thank you.

I just want to be my own person.

aDistractedDisaster Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

I took care of my disabled father after he had an accident when I was 18. Being his primary caregiver consumed my life. I never moved out, never got married, had no free time, never went on a trip/vacation, etc. My father just passed away last year after 21 years of being bedridden and brain-damaged. I cared for him willingly as I loved him and did not want to leave him to my mother’s care (she’s your classic narcissistic abuser and used to physically abuse my dad before his accident) but caring for my father showed me emphatically that kids were a big NO THANKS. I want to be my own person finally, like OP does.

14points

#60

All the poop, pee, cries, and screams 🤣

traevoh Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

Poops, pees, and cries. Oh my

2points

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#61

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Money, responsibility, not having any good genes to pass on.

rai_the_tyrant , Kelly Sikkema Report

Final score:

15points

POST

#62

I'd be a control freak out of fear, too much responsibility plus i hate crying.

Alphabater0441 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

Wait...did I post this and not tell myself?!

5points

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#63

In my opinion, you have one life, why waste it on kids? Why waste all the time, money, effort, on kids? After you die, you die. Kids need tons of love, care, attention and so forth, i aint capable of providing that shii anyways, i am dead inside and i wouldnt make a good father figure

Vergo27 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

#64

At the end of the day, it's my wife's personal decision if she wants to put herself through that. The more we hang out with couples the that have decided not to raise children and are in the same socioeconomic class as us, the better that situation looks on just about every front.

chili_dippin_it Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Noyfb noyfb 2 years ago

No, at the end of the day it MUST be the decision of both of you, and you will be equally responsible for the child’s care. Either of you has the right to veto having a child. Your idea the the child-bearing decision is completely on her sounds like the usual BS that a man/sperm donor would believe as a pre-rationale for walking out in his Baby Mama.

0points

#65

I wake up everyday wanting to make myself happy, enjoy life, and travel. It sounds a bit selfish - but I know I'd be unhappy and resentful knowing my sole purpose was taking care of children and their happiness. It's 18 years of putting your needs last and I'd rather be able to choose what I do for myself everyday.

Texasgurl899 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Kristy Nelson 2 years ago

And in all honesty, it doesn't stop when they turn 18.

7points

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#66

I work fulltime in a crèche. There's no way I'm spending 9-6 with children and then coming home to more children. Nope.

oldshanshan Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

Great thing about teaching kids. You can send the little minions back and only have to deal with them periodically

6points

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#67

The economy.
I grew up in a huge family so I've always been around children and love spending time with them but it's gotten so expensive to have one that I worry my income will never be where it should be to give a child a good life without stressing me or my wife out 24/7

Ahkwatic Report

Final score:

13points

POST

#68

Bottom dysphoria, being gay/ace as f**k, crumbling capitalist society, the erosion of reason and logic in our government, crushing poverty and the lack of stable long-term housing, lack of healthcare and daycare options, unfulfilled ambitions that are more appealing than parenthood right now...

You know. Millennial problems.

Cosmic-Cranberry Report

Final score:

13points

POST

crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Join the club of trans gay people who hate the government!

2points

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#69

All the suffering I have and all life in time is enough to convince me to make the choice not to procreate. Adoption maybe if I was rich and successful.

Feeling-Loneliness Report

Final score:

12points

POST

#70

Germaphobia, I don’t like crumbs and spilled juice everywhere.

Earballs_dmove Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Suzanne Tilson 2 years ago

Agreed, Marie Kondo

2points

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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What do you think ?

POST

Michael Largey 2 years ago

I might like to have kids when I grow up, but I'm 71 already.

77points

Groundcontroltomajortom 2 years ago

I love my daughter with every fibre of my being and having her has changed my life in some hugely positive ways BUT if I knew then what I know now I doubt I'd do it again. Not just for my sake but hers too. Having children is so very utterly selfish and what we are "programmed" to want. Poor mites have no idea what awaits them.

47points

TimeToIndulgeMyADHD 2 years ago

Honest question from someone who has no kids: why do you think having children is selfish? All I usually see is talk about the sacrifices that need to be made to be a good parent. Where does selfishness come into it? Is it the "programming?"

13points

Angel Rose 2 years ago

Taking care of you when your old, working in your family business, passing on your genes for the heck of it, needing to live up to expectations, the list goes on. They didn't ask for any of that but so many children become damaged adults who then pass on that damage to more kids cuz that's what society has taught them to do or with all these antiabortion laws will force them to do. Foster care is a broken system and this world is filled with poverty and violence. Throwing kids into that is selfish. But humanity is filled with selfishness so...

22points

Kleo Patterson 2 years ago

I believe it can be considered selfish to have children because us adults see how evil the world can be and to bring children into this reality knowing that any amount of evil can harm them emotionally, physically etc...is selfish. It is selfish because adults are not able to protect children from all the evil out there. Children are not even safe in schools....not fully safe at home and it would not be fair to be too overprotective of a child because I believe children should be guided into being the best they can be and not dictated to. If a parent is overprotective of a child, when the child becomes an adult and should be having his or her own life it will be difficult to function in the world without having the parent guidance. What would happen to that child if the parent died while the child is a young adult? How would that child function when he or she was shielded from the evils of the world?? How would this child function in society when he or she come to realize how horrible.

4points

Anika Monosmith 2 years ago

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Pam Akers 2 years ago

Anika: I have no children. I am retired. I am selfish?

5points

krssss 2 years ago

I'm tired of responsibilities and raising a kid is a heavy burden so no

27points

DuchessDegu 2 years ago

I like silence, sleeping and money.

25points

gila the night/sand 2 years ago

society: have kids!!!!!! me: my bloodline ends with me b***h

20points

Lousha 2 years ago

1, I don't feel any need or desire to have them. My partner feels the same. 2, I've never felt a bond with any child under 15. Sure I can find them cute, smile when I see an adorable picture of a baby, but that's about it. Their crying irritates me, their - natural - needy, clingy behaviour drives me crazy. I appreciate adult company, and don't enjoy being among kids. 3, I like my life as it is and hope to continue without disruption. 4, I can be a responsible caretaker, but I don't enjoy it. I was a live in nanny for 18 months. I did my job, cared for the children as needed. Then left them without even a sigh, and never for one moment missed them. I was told a million times that I will love them so much. I did not. 5, The world had enough of us. I feel the best thing for an individual to do for this planet is not have kids, plant trees, cover the ground you have access to (e.g. you garden). 6, I don't feel that my personal genetic material is so special that it must be preserved.

18points

Morganne 2 years ago

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Milan 2 years ago

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- 2 years ago

@Milan, my counter-argument: it's not a slippery slope. A few people not having children will not depopulate the planet in 100 years. That would require mass sterility, not someone tending to a garden instead of children.

17points

Steve Barnett 2 years ago

No kids. Mainly because of the possibility of passing on my mental health issues. I couldn't put another human being through that $hit, not ever.

16points

Tams21 2 years ago

As much as it's refreshing to read the honesty in these, it's also sad that so many people still think they get a say in someone else's decision. I'm a proud mum of two (nearly) adult children and I wouldn't change anything. But being a parent is very difficult sometimes, is expensive and absolutely not for everyone. As a species, we're also a far larger burden on our planet than we should be. People shouldn't have to be explaining why they don't want kids.

15points

Celeste Grant 2 years ago

I can't have children, which is a pain like no other and something I struggle to deal with constantly, but we have built a lovely life for ourselves. Being childless (even though it's not through choice) gives us freedoms that our parent friends are jealous of and we try hard to make the most of those things.

15points

A.D 2 years ago

My favorite excuse isn't even an excuse. I don't want to deal with them. It's my choice because I don't owe anyone kids or grandkids. I don't like them and I don't want them.

10points

Dre Mosley 2 years ago

I simply never have had an interest in parenthood and like the freedom not having children allows me to have.

9points

Kelsey Rivera 2 years ago

4 words: child birth scares me

7points

Annette Blanks 2 years ago

I always worried I would regret it once it was too late to conceive. I'm 61 and I still haven't regretted it 1 day. I kept waiting for that yearning to have a child and it never came. Just an overwhelming desire to rescue animals!

7points

Guwon 2 years ago

I'm the oldest of my siblings, I'm done with parenting.

7points

Jacqueline Pie Francis Premium 2 years ago

I have one adult daughter and I have always loved being a mom. But it’s not for everyone. I’ve met people who had kids because they felt they “had to” and resented it. I would rather people not have kids and be happy then have them and make everyone—including their kids—miserable.

7points

Binary Sun 2 years ago

I am sick and tired of people trying to make my life a shopping list with the highest priority item "have kids". Well peops, it is not yours to decide what I do with my life. Also, there are so many children in the world that do not have parents, are abused or even killed by their parents. Let's safe them first. I won't judge you if you have 20 children. But please don't judge me if I don't want any. I have my life together, I have a loving and caring spouse. We are happy. Why should we change that just to live up to a standard that is fabricated. I live under the premise live and let live. Let people of whatever gender who really want a child have one or many and educate the uneducated so they can make proper decisions in regards to having children (or not)

6points

Jessica Julian 2 years ago

Working at a retail pharmacy for more than two decades. Imagine trying to count pills, type out a prescription, check accuracy of a prescription, talk to a patient, or physician on the phone, or administer a vaccine, while children run around, knocking over stuff, bouncing balls, throwing toys, and screaming? Does that sound safe to you? It's ridiculous how parents let their children act in public.

6points

Megan Morse 2 years ago

Not to mention kids are absolute germ factories and will give you EVERY illness under the sun. Nahh keep them away from me at all costs 😂

6points

Natalie Kudryashova 2 years ago (edited)

I’ve always really really really wanted kids. I love to bits the three that I have. I’d love to have more. It is super rewarding for me. And I am very lucky to have the health and resources to look after them. BUT. It is a lot of work. Like really a lot of work. And it’s expensive. Sometimes it’s very hard. Sometimes it’s scary. Sometimes it’s very frustrating. I definitely have made a lot of sacrifices for them. I can’t imagine being able to do all of this, and not lose my sanity in the process, if I didn’t want children to begin with or didn’t have the means to provide for them.

6points

Amy S 2 years ago

As I mentioned in one of my replies above, I knew at 14 I didn't want them. I'm 61 now and guess what? I *still* don't want them and thank God every day I don't have them. Ladies - when someone accuses you of being selfish (which, admittedly is a valid reason) tell them you're not selfish, you're *self-aware*. I knew how hard it would be and I also knew my limits.

5points

Kara Born 2 years ago

I want kids, but I have really bad anger issues so I know it's not a good idea for me to have them

5points

Briattny Brittany 2 years ago

For me, I understand that children require more than love. What frustrates me the most is people that say, "my love is all they'll EVER need". I not only think that's selfish and codependent, but I think it's extremely irresponsible. Children also require time, structure, money, resources, stability, and many other things. What if your kid has a lifelong illness? Are you fully prepared for everything that comes with that, for LIFE? I've even witnessed people say they love their kids on one hand, but on the other hand, they don't protect them, they don't teach them, they can't provide, and the list goes on and on... but somehow that's love!? No! That's called delusion. I'm admittingly selfish and I'm not willing to give that up. I like to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it. I can't do that with kids. I don't care about being judged for being child free. Unlike most parents, I think about everything. It doesn't seem like people do that anymore.

5points

Dionne Boyd 2 years ago

I don't agree with people who say you are being selfish if you don't have children. I was told that by my mom when I was a teenager when I told her I didn't want kids. All that kept going through my mind was, who am I being selfish to? Myself? If my mother wanted more children she could have adopted or become a foster parent. None of that happened. This is your life. No one else and you only have one.

5points

Markus It/Its 2 years ago

Here's my reasons. Firstly, I'm not cis and AFAB. I do not want to be dealing with a gross pregnancy body, it would be so uncomfortable and not me. So that rules out carrying my own child. Secondly, my ideal career path involves international travel, irregular hours and basically devoting my life to it. I want that, it's something I'm really invested in, but that's no situation for a child to grow up in. Thirdly, my grandmother is a narcissist and for some reason I am her favourite child. Spiting her by not having kids would make me feel I'd done my bit getting back at how she's treated my mother. Four, I don't particularly like children. I find them very annoying and loud and dirty. I have short patience and I would not be able to deal with that. No, I don't want kids. I want a family of geese, four dogs, the ability to afford video games when I want and an interesting job in wildlife conservation. And I'd be very very happy with that.

5points

SarahGrey1810 2 years ago

When my fiancée and I met we clicked instantly and even discussed children (I was under the impression that I really want them) anyway about 1 year into the relationship and a little reddit addiction (so not sorry) my views changed completely. I've been scared of pregnancy for all of my teenage years and even now with 29. We're pretty committed then and are still. I played directly with open cards and told him that I reconsidered having kids and if he still wanted them, we should split. He said he would rather be together with me than have kids, when I reminded him that he might regret it and would hate me, he said that wouldn't be possible. We are going strong for almost 4 years now and will be getting married in December this year. We talked about adoption especially when his nephew was born last year. It didn't come lightly and we are constantly checking if it's OK with one another. I guess my SO changed his mind like I did, when we had to watch his 13 year old other nephew for a weekend a month. It was pretty exhausting and we both love him but we were so glad when we got to be alone again. That's when we decided we would rather be a cool uncle and aunt. Especially cause we both love ro travel, game and sleep in. And if people say we should split cause we don't want the heartache later in life, I've got a colleague 30 years my senior. He and his wife decided against kids cause she has severe medical issues and he said to me that kids would be nice but didn't have to be. So here we a have a cool aunt and uncle pretty happy with their relationship and life in itself and I believe my soon to be husband and I can achieve that as well 😊 (Especially with the blessing from his mom and grandmother - one of them said and I quote "if I could suck them back in and abort, I would do it")

5points

Pterodactyl in Disguise 2 years ago

I am planning to adopt a kid or something (I don’t really know), but never have kids until they can be put in a world that doesn’t have problems and won’t turn into a burning hot dystopia

5points

Milan 2 years ago (edited)

BP rotates the same topics over and over. America, Things in Work, (no)Children, Same AITA stories. It is really boring after all this time….

5points

Nicole Bowman 2 years ago

Ive known since i was 10 that I didnt want kids. I had to raise my 4 brothers and sisters. That was enough "child rearing" for me. Bit i don't have a husband and 2.5 kids so I cant get birth control or tubes tied either. I'm also too poor and my family medical history is *all* kinds of messed up (everything from mental illnesses to Gastro paresis (paralyzed digestive system) to IBS to Crohn's to heart conditions.)

4points

Susanne B 2 years ago

If you don't want children don't have them, because it is not true that a mother ALWAYS love her child. Sometimes the child is an unloved burden on the mother, and I don't think such a child has a good chance of a happy life.

4points

Zelda Blue 2 years ago

More than anything I have always wanted a child. I wanted to be pregnant, feel the baby move for the first time, kick etc. I had 4 miscarriages and we stopped trying. As time went on and I watched my family and my husbands family, I understand why the universe didn't want us to have kids. It still kills me to go to baby showers and see people with new babies and know I will never have that but with how mental our families are it would have been a c**p shoot.

4points

Sent From The Slytherin House 2 years ago

My own reasons 1: kids are annoying 2: I wanna do my own thing 3: babies and teens I'm cool with but everything in-between is just uggh 4: I'm bipolar and I don't want to accidentally hurt my own baby

4points

Vira 2 years ago (edited)

I'll say the same thing that I told my mother, when she started pushing me to have kids, at 22. "If I'm old enough to choose to have children then I'm old enough to know that I do not want children."

4points

Lisa H 2 years ago

I used to work in a mall for years and every year, the mall Santa and the Easter bunny near where I worked reminded me why I never want children. Not that I needed reminding.

4points

Brobro McDuderson 2 years ago

Man, this thread is depressing. Many of these are legit concerns, many boil down to “Don’t want kids, don’t have em”. That’s all cool, but there’s just as many positives too! I looove my kids and happy we had em.

4points

Robert T 2 years ago

Other people's kids. Nothing more to it than that. Awful creatures. Should be banned.

4points

Bi-Polar Express 2 years ago

Don't want them, don't have them. Don't pretend you know what it is like to have them from your own limited data. I think we would all prefer that people who don't want them don't have them. Who wants to be raised by someone who doesn't want them?

4points

Microwave Chef 2 years ago

I don't understand why people feel like they need a reason not to have kids. I think a better question is why someone would want a child.

3points

Alivia Ann 2 years ago

Having a child is selfish there’s millions of kids in this world that need better. When I was 8 I was up for adoption it was horrible I went to 5 foster homes they all brought me back because they said I was to much and to country all of them said that. Until I was 10 they moved me to San Antonio, Tx it was only three days I got adopted by this young couple George and Norma it was the best day of my life!!! My life turned around I went to school and college got my self a job bought my self a 600 acer ranch. I’m not bragging about my life I’m saying you could give a child a new life teach them, love them, care for them because every kid in this world needs your love and warmth. You can change their life around just like George and Norma did for me.

3points

iateyourfish 2 years ago

Raising a kid is just hard. There're so many things you have to teach them cause of the shitty world we live in. Social constructs (like gender), CORRECT value systems, self expression, etc. Its just not possible to tell them everything. And I wouldn't know where to start. Another reason is the fact that I'm physically disabled. Chronic pain. If i had a biological child (which probably wouldn't happen since im scared of pregnancy and I'm asexual) i would be really anxious about the kid having it too, and if they do get it, i wouldn't be able to help them and help myself at the same time. Chronic illnesses like this take a lot of time to figure out, diagnose and "treat". Physical therapy few times a week, gym, lots of pills (like steroids). I wouldn't do that to a child. Next thing is sensory issues. I'm neurodivergent and kids are loud and sticky. They don't know what personal space is and are way too energetic. I wouldn't know how to take care of them and not get a sensory meltdown.

3points

Leahsa Haas 2 years ago

With ALL the birth control methods available, there's no reason or "excuse"(for some people) to get pregnant unless you want to.

3points

A.D 2 years ago

My favorite excuse isn't even an excuse. I just plain don't want them. Don't want to deal with them and I don't owe anyone grandkids.

3points

SomeGuyinWY 2 years ago

When I was thirteen, I made the decision to never have kids. My sister & mother both said I'd change my mind. Well, here I am almost 40 years later - childless. This is a decision I have never regretted, nor will I ever regret. For one pair of simple facts: Kids require time and money. I've always had time and no money, or money and no time.

3points

Mark Fuller 2 years ago

Because when I was a kid, we were rarely allowed into adult spaces (pubs, bars, restaurants, gyms). If you were... you'd better damn well behave and if you don't, you'll be swiftly removed and punished by your embarrassed parents. Now, the little shits are allowed everywhere and anywhere with little to no discipline or respect for the fact that it's a "grown up space" where you should consider it a privilege to be allowed and ought to be seen and not heard. Infants are allowed to sit there and play with the noisiest toys, throw food on the floor, run amok around a restaurant and then throw a tantrum and start to scream and bawl when they are tired and irritable. I am determined one day to sit in the Early Learning Centre or some soft playground, drinking wine, smoke cigars (I don't even smoke), play Grunge music (I hate Grunge), swearing loudly and breaking s**t just to even the score a little and spoil their protected space!!!

3points

AndThenICommented 2 years ago (edited)

Edit: This is my experience and I am happy to see so many people being real with themselves about whether they want children: I never saw myself as a mom and it was a big ol’ surprise when we found out I was heavily pregnant. However, I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. BUT I realise that we have been incredibly lucky with our situation. I had a great pregnancy, pretty awesome kid, minimal disruption to our social life, and we travel with her quite a bit (extensively overseas prior to COVID) What makes it hard at times is that along with working full time and I am building a startup - which can cause stress, however we’ve mostly gotten into a routine now. We are not the norm I guess. I also feel having been an animal foster for some time prepared me for having the forethought, love and patience when things were extra stressful. Yes daycare is expensive, no we don’t have any other help, we have no family in the country we live (but could always move to be closer).

3points

Briana Landers 2 years ago

Y'all........ Women aren't incubators.

2points

Arianna 2 years ago

KIDS ARE JUST TERRIFYING? They scare me okay? They make me so uncomfortable, screaming, crying, the inappropriate jokes, the annoying nursery rhymes. Pregnancy is scary. They're always trying to kill themselves. Just to grow up and leave you to never call text or even say I love you. That's just my experience with my cousins and siblings. I just do not like children and I feel like that should be more normalized!

2points

Aliza M 2 years ago

As someone who grew up in an extremely religious and incredibly toxic environment where I was told/taught by just about every adult in my life that it's a person's duty to have at least 2 kids to sustain the earth's population and gods will, I have zero desire to have a child. Mental health in my family is crippling and to pass it on would be irresponsible and psychotic. Further more, cancer and early mortality also runs in my family. My family breathed down my neck my whole childhood with the idea of having children. To the point where they made me terrified of getting rid of my childhood toys because I'd pass them on one day. Also, and this is my main reason above all else, I'm lesbian. I lived in fear my whole childhood because of that fact. I grew up not wanting to disappoint my highly religious family knowing they'd be disappointed if I'd never have kids. For me, bringing a kid in this world is the worst thing I can imagine.

2points

Tedee 2 years ago

Toxic people and comments.

2points

Katherine Kassler 2 years ago

Never wanted one .. then found out I couldnt have one... Now after egg donation and 5 years later I am a parent. And she is the most spectacular person. The very best part of my whole existence. Shes the reason I was born. Sometimes what you dont think you want turns out to be what you needed all along.

2points

Dillon H 2 years ago

I have no paternal instincts. Brotherly instincts at most. Couple that with my social ineptitude, unwillingness to have a relationship (necessary for a nuclear family) and planning for a military civilian job (definitely not going to have enough time to create another human being) I just don't think I'd be a good dad.

2points

Annie Steele 1 year ago

Sterilised at 20, hysterectomy at 40 .. chances of me having kids = 0. Living my happily ever after 100%

1point

ŘΔŦ 1 year ago

I'm never ganna have kids... I'm 11 and I don't like babies T~T

1point

Tara Wright 1 year ago

Not having any more privacy to yourself.

1point

Annie Steele 2 years ago

I don't like children, if I had my way there would be child free planes, children free restaurants, child free everything, shopping transportation, holidays, beaches, swimming pools, they ruin peace and tranquility due to screaming like banshees .. if you must feel that you need one, go buy a huge cage and train It ...

1point

Beachbum 2 years ago

I must have hit the kid jackpot, they were always just great little people. And now, that they are adults, son, is 29 and daughter is 24, they are both absolutely my bestfriends.

1point

Timothy Olsen 2 years ago

Ok well this 1 maybe a new 1 but it's takes 2 very skilled educated & loving & responsible & respectable & both a mother & father need to be civil & good to each other & be mentally healthy & have personal lifelong goals with their physical health & both a mother & father need to be good if not excellent in being able to give not be takers & be good at who is going to proved what when how where & why & both a mother & father need to have goals along time frames in both of their lives that r making a father & mother only progress & building their portfolios so that a mother & a father have assets & wealth they build during their required life long marriage see when u show children these healthy relationship skills u work at for as long as a mother & father r blessed to live & stay married u show children how to do the same thing & develop the same ways so they have a good enough reasons to continue that healthy lifelong marriage having the ability to last generations

1point

David Kanda 2 years ago

I'm so glad I never got married or became a parent. Neither would have ever gone well. Fortunately, I've been able to live my life as I chose to do so and ultimately experienced so much more not having any rugrats disrupting my life. Kids are noisy, disruptive, nagging menaces that I can absolutely do without. Sorry, but procreation will have to find another way.

1point

Chantal Guyatt 2 years ago

I don't think I could ever love a human child as much as I love my dogs. And - this might sound insane - I don't want any human child to come in and take any of the resources I devote to said dogs. I'd really rather just have more dogs (and other critters)! 🐩

1point

lazy mama 2 years ago

Raising kids SUCKS!!!!! I never wanted kids. But...got pregnant early...17. Then married at 19. We both had a child and my hubby thought we should have 1 of our own. So we did. Then the 3rd was a HUGE OOPS!!! I do love my kids. They are funny and sweet. But OMG...the daily struggles are insane. I'm absolutely exhausted. My 18 is on his own now, but his teen yrs were brutal. My 15 I fear will never leave and become permanently bonded to his Xbox to the point we'll have to get it surgically removed from him. And my 9 is a good girl, but I am having severe anxiety attacks about when she starts her period. I am petrified!! In conclusion...DONT HAVE KIDS!!!

1point

Judith B. 2 years ago

My oldest son is serving a 7yr sentence in prison and I tried everything since he was 14 to stir him in the right way. As a single mom, father was absent parent and never wanted to be part of his life. I'm a good person, a Christian and a public servant and I just feel so ashamed that my Son ended up this way, Im so ashamed and sometimes I want to ask God why? What was the purpose of having a child like him or Children, specially when they take nothing after you and put you through hell which I'm still going through...

1point

Izzy_ 2 years ago

People have yet to give me 3 reasons to have a kid of my own. They tell me all of the things that happen during pregnancy like your body changing etc, and they end with "you should totally do it" wtf???? o_O

1point

Alex Means 2 years ago

I'm really impatient, have a nasty temper, and I've always struggled with empathy. There's no way I'd be a good parent and I'm not about to ruin a kids life because "it's different when it's yours"

1point

Diane Smith 2 years ago

When people talk about how much bigger families (6-10 kids) years ago and they say it was to work on the farm, I tell them it's because they didn't have birth control.

1point

Diane Smith 2 years ago

I like kids. I didn't want to be a parent. Knew it since I was 16.

1point

Jane Dupree 2 years ago

I decided to remain childfree because I didn't want to lose my money, freedom, or sanity. Bringing a kid into this world is like breeding more animals even though there are millions in shelters - totally ignorant, arrogant and irresponsible.

1point

Rens 2 years ago

Choosing not to have children is not selfish or self centred. It is a valid choice and a smart one when you really don't feel any desire to have children. I love my daughter to pieces and I have no regrets about having her but if I had my life over, I would definitely make different choices, and I probably would have never had a child.

1point

Sammy Vick 2 years ago

The tokophobia one hits right at home for me. I have nightmares of becoming pregnant. I also know that it’s expensive to raise kids and the anxiety of wanting them to turn out okay when you didn’t and you don’t want the cycle to continue makes the whole idea so much worse.

1point

Anika Monosmith 2 years ago

What I take away from this is: children are undesirable because childless adults don't want to make sacrifices, they're scared of all the possible ways that things could go wrong and so don't want to even try, and they have some bizarre idea that children are "for" literally any other human being. If they don't want children, I'm not interested in changing their minds, but people need to know that children aren't "for" anyone; parents are "for" the children.

1point

Alana Voeks 2 years ago

Taking away the world being s**t for a moment, these are my personal issues with having children: depression, anxiety, possible autism, biraciality, being LGBT, anger management issues, no parental nature, family history of cancer and Alzheimer's, and the best reason: I do not care to have one. Shouldn't that be enough? Why do we need a goddamn reason to not have children? Plenty of idiots are (and those not so stupid), why do you care that each and every individual has a kid? It's like asking a person why their favorite color is their favorite. Just leave it the hell alone.

1point

Momma Panda 2 years ago

Reading all of this while my toddler is sitting in my lap watching peppa pig. Nothing in life can prepare you for having kids. If you don't want them that's ok. The world doesn't need more unwanted children, born to poverty or to any kind of illness. F what everyone is saying. They will not raise your child if anything happens

1point

Vorknkx 2 years ago

For me, a big reason is that I'm just not sure I'd be able to raise them "properly." If they grow up unhappy, I'd just hate myself for failing and bringing someone into the world just to make them miserable. And then I also worry about any hidden genetic surprises I might pass onto them.

1point

Brendan Sizemore 2 years ago

Honestly did the no kid thing til late, married my wife with 3 kids. I have been there from 2 and 5yo and honestly you don't know what you're missing without them. Yes it's work but good things take effort. The oldest was 13 when his father passed. He's been a chore but I hold hope. I didn't enter wanting kids but she is with it and they are too.

1point

Random Anon 2 years ago

I like the free and easy nature of my life too much to do that. I don't even feel the urge. So that's that. Besides, having gone through a violent childhood, I really don't want to turn into my old man and continue that f*cked up cycle.

1point

Plutarch 2 years ago

It's not good for the planet so that's why I'm not having kids.

1point

Stephanie Chapman 2 years ago

Tokophobia for me. How anyone calmly discusses childbirth is beyond me. my brain thins "Don't you know where they come out of??!!!!" There just aren't enough drugs. That and climate change and I'm terribly lazy and not that interested. The whole kit-n-kaboodle.

1point

D Peterson 2 years ago

I agree 100% with each & everyone of you! I'm a 69 year old woman who has never once regretted not having children.

1point

Daffodil 2 years ago

Being the oldest sibling, I not only see how much of a toll my little brother takes on my parents, but when they have other stuff to do, I get stuck playing parent. I've had him choke once under my supervision (luckily he was able to cough it out on his own with me patting his back firmly, I don't know what I would've done if he hadn't been able to) and I've seen him be sick, I can't imagine being totally responsible for a little human ALL the time. And while I would be a good mother, I just don't want to be. I do love kids though, and I want to be an elementary school teacher in the future. If I do ever have kids, they'll be adopted teens.

1point

Rose-A-Lix 2 years ago

Rather adopt a kid that can clean themselves

1point

Ein Steinbeck 2 years ago

People on reddit sure know their target audience with this (re)post.

1point

Adriana Valle 2 years ago

I do have kids, I love them and dreamed about being a a Mom.... but I screwed up with the Father I chose, now I'm stuck, trying to raise them and heal myself at the same time. No regrets? Kind of hard to tell.

1point

Unni Panda 2 years ago

My experience is that one, average (read: what people would call normal) kid in a two person, healthy relationship is feasible. But so many people who have one kid end up having multiple, without being able to properly manage them, and without any outside support that it just rightfully embitters the experience for so many others.

1point

Natalie Doran 1 year ago

I hate the idea of identity loss and freedom. I was heavily emotionally abused and forced into isolation as a teen, being locked in my room 24/7, and I was homeschooled and had no friends. Now I'm 20, in college, living with my mom and new dad (disowned my biological father), with a bunch of friends, a lovely boyfriend, and a job, this is the greatest part of my life and the idea of losing all that for some drooling meatloaf is just extremely unappealing. The idea of being pregnant sounds awful, especially considering I love the way I look and don't want to change it or feel consistently sick for 9 months. I have PTSD and I'm autistic and I don't think I'm stable enough, especially considering I tend to be sensitive to noise. Maybe I'll change my mind some day, but it won't be for a while.

0points

Sea cucumber (They/them) 1 year ago

They're too expensive, I like my sleep, and I get irritated very easily.

0points

Flo 4132 1 year ago

I like kids, I work with them as a therapist and teacher and I love that. But I still don't want to have any of my own. My job teaches me every day what a challenge raising kids is and I am certain I am not capable of it. On the other hand, I love my job and the kids I work with so much I wouldn't want to leave them for months or even years.

0points

Boatswain Bill 1 year ago (edited)

30 examples of self-centered sociopathy. Wouldn't surprise me if a handful went on to shoot up a couple schools...

0points

Sea cucumber (They/them) 1 year ago

I would like to have kids but I know it's not a good idea (for now at least) so I don't. I can't afford them, I like sleep, and I know I have to work on sensory issues that I know they would make worse.

0points

Duncan 1 year ago

I'd go back even further. Kids take every spare moment you have, but before kids marriage takes a lot of that too. Being and staying single is underrated.

0points

Jesha 1 year ago

The lofty peaks are plentiful, but the valley below lies quite barren. Born with broketycrotch. Besides, I wouldn't want to pass on generational trauma. I'm a kick a*s aunt, though, and that is fulfilling enough for me.

0points

Heidi 1 year ago

Silence and money! ❤️

0points

Alex Mosby 1 year ago

I think my mom had kids so that she could be a grandma.

0points

Loanni Kerris 1 year ago

As a child who was born unplanned, and the wrong gender, I was resented all my life. My father had a family before. They did not even raise me. So - that's what makes me a pro-choice, do not be forced to bring a child into this world unless you absolutely want to. You will save a lot of heartache. Funny that no one really thinks about all this from the child's point of view...

0points

Annie Steele 1 year ago

My own parents were enough of a reason not to have any. Couldn't imagine them as grandparents.

0points

colorfultragedy 1 year ago

I would never have kids because A.) I do not, and likely will never have the sanity to take care of a child, and B.) Have three siblings who, unless they decide to go childfree, can give my mom all the grandkids she wants. Idgaf.

0points

Tiffany Persaud 1 year ago

I agree. You're responsible for a whole human from the time they pop out to the time they're no longer minors, and even after, they're still connected to us in ways they won't be to anyone else. It's a lifelong title and responsibility not to be taken lightly.

0points

Kate Kovach 1 year ago

Kids these days are so dumb, the economic system is depressive and is only getting worse. Too much child trafficking, and the state of the world is in shambles. Women who have kids think they will have a disney-esque marriage when men are not biologically built to enjoy one woman for life. They entrap the man with kids and ignore the man's needs. Mental health issues, population issues, to have kids just to force your beliefs upon them and produce more labor rats. This world is cruel enough, why force another being to endure what you hated.

0points

Some guy 1 year ago

I love the term "child-free". So positive and uplifting!

0points

Shakira Wheelden 1 year ago (edited)

i rather adopt a child since i have a huge fear that i may die giving birth. i fear this because ill never see the child grow up and my husband may have to raise the child on his own. so i rather not risk my life and adopt a child in need

0points

Stealthee 3k 1 year ago

I've been told by multiple people on multiple occasions that I'd make a wonderful father. I don't doubt that, however I can barely take care of myself, so why would I want to take care of kids? I like having the freedom to do what I want when I want how I want. If something happened and got someone pregnant I would do the right thing and man up, but I guarantee it wouldn't be easy.

0points

Dana Brechwald 1 year ago

I have struggled with chronic Epstein-Barr my whole adult life and its common for me to have extreme fatigue episodes. I also have Lipedema, which is a fat disorder and is commonly exacerbated significantly by pregnancy. Simply put, I don't think I have the physical stamina for pregnancy and child raising. I think it would ruin my health and my body. Women don't talk enough about the long-term consequences of pregnancy and child raising on their physical health.

0points

Suzy Creamcheese 1 year ago

What makes me not want to have kids? Being around other people's kids.

0points

Roald 1 year ago

Think ahead. Meeting someone with a wish to have children and you don't is a struggle and dilemma you don't want or need in your life.

0points

moonlit muffins 1 year ago

i personally have a very thin band of control and would never want that to be put on a kid as both my parents have the same thin band and i am in a horrible mental state . also im not very responsible and dont want to neglect a kid. long story short dont want to ruin a kid. i might adopt an older kid when i get older but not a really young child

0points

Jay 1 year ago

The headline suggests people want kids by default, when I don't think that's the case. Disinterest is self explanatory, but I put it this way: Whatever experience you had that made you want kids, I either didn't have it, or didn't react the same as you. As a child I daydreamed about being an adult all the time but never about being a parent. Whenever I see a father and son, I never identify with the Dad. I see only my past, not my future. I grew up with several married relatives that weren't ever having kids and it was never an issue, so all options were known. I also joke that I wasn't interested in kids even when I was one. I was always more interested in adults.

0points

Laura 1 year ago

I honest to goodness wish I could understand why ppl want kids (or have a drive to have them) but I simply DONT. and I hate because literally everyone acts like I'm either terrible, selfish, stupid, crazy, or that ill "have them someday" i am so sick of this mentality. I'm tired of being called selfish when the main reason I don't want kids is tokophobia, the state of the world and my physical and mental illnesses. I'm so fvcking sick of this world..

0points

Gwen Davis-Feldman 1 year ago

Being a parent means coming to grips with pain. I grew up unprotected from an abusive father Yet, when I became a victim of the Dalkon Shield device and told I’d never be a parent - I wanted a baby in the worst way. IVF left me infertile poorer and second-guessing myself. We adopted -- a beautiful 7 week old baby boy. I was never happier - I was part of a happy family that was/is full of love - for 16 years. Needless to say - that was when the pain set in - it’s called adolescence. He is an adult on his own living 2000 mi away - I am happy - when he is happy. I know he loves us but getting him to love himself - honestly - is another issue altogether. So, while I don’t love the pain - I acknowledge it as a fact of life - whether it’s brought on by kids or other factors.

0points

Alybug7689 1 year ago

I don’t regret having kids but it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I have 3 children 14,12 and 11. Two boys and a girl. The guy I had them with left before my daughter was born. No contact since then. I have been raising them myself. My 12 year old is autistic and has adhd. I have been in a relationship for 10 years. He has two boys ages 20 and 16. We have lived separate for over 5 years now because sometimes blending children does not work. We love each other and will spend the rest of lives together but having to live separate is so very difficult. I love being a mom and love my children but I would never tell someone to have kids.

0points

Shelby McNew 1 year ago

I have a congenital birth defect that I f*****g refuse to pass down, I’m currently trying to get sterilized but I’m only 23 so it’s been a giant pain in the a*s.

0points

Hypoxia Smurf 1 year ago

Sterilization of one or both parties in a marriage can be a factor. ;) [Yah, one kid was enough!]

0points

Evie 1 year ago (edited)

I was the oldest daughter of 5, and then some extended family members moved into our house from a bad situation, so there were several small children and 3 babies. I was mini-Mom, with no time to myself at home. I had to give up my bedroom for my grandparents; I had a reclining chair for sleep, a dresser in the living room, and 1 bookshelf for my things. I fell asleep in my classes, my grades plummeted, I failed out of the nice high school I'd gotten into. I eventually got sent to live with other family members who were unwilling to help with the rest of the extended family situation (but always rubbed it in that they "took me in" as if I was some kind of delinquent... not even close!) I love my little siblings and cousins fiercely. They were so cute... I would often fall asleep holding the little ones (they didn't have beds then either). Watching them grow up has been amazing. All the things I sacrificed so that they could be okay, I couldn't possibly take back. But this has...(cont'd)

0points

Jessica Edelbrock 1 year ago

Genetic health issues including severe mental illness, generational trauma, personal trauma, my inability to coordinate my own s**t (how would I coordinate someone else's too?), the state of the world, the state of the US, etc, etc.

0points

Doodles1983 1 year ago

1. I had baby nephews and sibling when I was 13. Best contraception, EVER. 2. Selfishness? Or self-careishness. I have chronic illnesses and mental ill health. 3. State of the planet. 4. State of the planet’s population. 5. Can’t rule out risk of multiple pregnancy. (Sister had bio-identical twins so my risk is naturally increased). 6. Cats are much easier. 7. Even as a kid, I avoided the “homey” areas at playgroup. No kitchen, no babies, no prams. 8. Lack of equity. It all falls to mum. In the 1950’s perhaps that worked. But nowadays, kid is sick? School calls mum (in the majority of instances). 9. I would refuse to use people for support. My sister had mum, and now dad running around to her tune as her husband left. 10. Can’t guarantee a “healthy” child. My friends son was severely disabled due to birth errors. My sisters son was healthy until 17, rare virus, brain damaged, mobility issues, severe epilepsy. 11. Kids are forever, not just for 18 years.

0points

Meeks 1 year ago

I love my child beyond words, but I only had a child for my husband. If we weren't together I'd still be blissfully child-free. I miss sleeping, spending my money however I want, and the freedom to leave my house without planning/preparing/packing like I'm bugging out.

0points

Lindy Mac 2 years ago

One thing that really makes me laugh about this topic is the notion that people need to have kids to take care of them when they are old. I cannot tell you how many people I have known that are totally gobsmacked that their kids don't have time for them and some don't even communicate with their parents that much. And then there is the other disaster that nobody talks about... the kids have kids and leave them with the grandparents to raise. I know of one woman who adopted a girl....at 16 she had a child , handed the responsibility of raising back to her mom because she couldn't handle it, and then went on to have more kids...which she raised. I lost contact with the family- don't know how things turned out. Oh, the kid that was given to granny to raise..he was divorced twice before he was 30. And yes - he had a kid too. It's really nuts.

0points

John Barber 2 years ago

My reason is that I'm hideously ugly, and no woman would want to have a child that looks like me. I don't blame them either.

0points

Ani-87 2 years ago

All very valid points but I have to add: I like my vagina as it is/looks/feels. I don’t want swinging saloon doors.

0points

Illustrious G 2 years ago

Sleep!! There are several reasons I do not want kids, but #1 is that I love and need my sleep. If I don’t sleep well for several nights, I get grumpy and angry and I don’t like myself. When you have kids, you don’t ever get a chance to sleep well! No thank you! I’ll stick with kittens! 🐈‍⬛

0points

Mariah Gensmer 2 years ago

I strongly believe that if someone doesn't want kids then they shouldn't have them... But! Do not get annoyed or pissed at parents who try to have family dinner out or the parent who is just trying to get the shopping done. Remember, when we need the next generation to take over as we age out. Side note, had i be able to see the mental health problems that developed, i would not have had kids. I love them but i feel I'm not giving them what they need and want. It hurts.

0points

Merilyn Horton 2 years ago

We had our son young and are now free of responsibility and it’s fantastic.

0points

Bill Allen 2 years ago

My responses over the years when asked why my wife and I don’t have any kids varies. 1. My wife and I figured out what causes kids and we stopped. 2. We thought we would wait until we are mature enough to raise kids. (I’m 69 years old now.) 3. We would be the perfect parents and don’t want to show up our friends and make them jealous. We are doing it for you. 4. Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?

0points

Hyrule26 2 years ago

I like kids in the same way that i like horses and Newton's Cradles. I like them, I have fun with them. But i like them for other people. I like going over and saying hi, maybe playing a few games. I would not enjoy having my own, because as terrible as it sounds, they are expensive and I would tire of them quickly. I am much better at and am much happier being the Aunty figure.

0points

Squee She 2 years ago

I feel seen 🤣

0points

Ronnie Beaton 2 years ago

My former upstairs neighbour obviously doted on his two little girls. But, I got fed up with him playing hide and seek with them at ten o'clock on a Wednesday night, when other people - me for example - are in bed trying to sleep.

0points

Waxillium 2 years ago

I'm not sure if anyone has said it, but I'm asexual and the act I'd have to do to have kids makes me uncomfortable even to think about. Add to that the fact that I have a history of strong mental illness on both sides of my family.

0points

ZenChickChristine 2 years ago

A lot of this hit home. I never really wanted kids but have been pregnant. Once by assault. Lost each one and blamed myself for it while constantly having people tell me I would be such a good mom. I have so much trauma I did not want to pass on. Later married a man with two daughters. The youngest was in her late teens when we got married. I still damaged that relationship - not even my own biological child - because of untreated mental health issues. I know it goes both ways but I own my part, and fwiw that was the push I needed to finally start unpacking the decades of abuse I have survived. I do love both of my husband’s daughters but cannot ever envision being close to them.

0points

Lene 2 years ago

Most of these are ppl complaining about children whose parents taught them to be sh*tty in one way or the other. Most of my life I thought I hated kids. Turns out it's their parents and their behaviour I hate. Well, in many cases it's only when the adults enter the parenting-role that I hate them. I have some friends that are so great! But I don't think they are good at parenting which results in badly behaved children that demands so much attention.

0points

Olivia Skrastins 2 years ago

Good the world doesn't need more whinny people like you, that the idea of raising innocent souls disgusts you so much. Only have kids if your capable of loving someone other than yourself. If you treat them like mistakes and burdens then yes they'll grow up to be little shits like their parents. Kids and babies are the BEST people in the whole world because they know nothing of hatred that is something thats learned from pessimists like you who are blind to all the beauty on this planet. Raise them with love and they'll be good, happy people, if not they'll grow up to be as miserable as you.

0points

Chris T 2 years ago

Of course this pops up a month and half before my first child.

0points

RubbaTiti 2 years ago

If I were a parent, it'd devolve into recreating that one part where Heihachi yeets Kazuya down the cliff

0points

Christi Brown 2 years ago (edited)

So much to unpack. I planned my children, I loved them and gave up myself and everything I was for them willingly. The sore nipples, the sleepless nights, night after night whilst I watched their father sacrifice nothing, continuing his life like a single man, including his girlfriends one after the other. No matter. I loved, I gave, I gave up myself. When I finally gave up the marriage, finally understanding that I married an immature, selfish, egotistical, inauthentic and dishonest man-child, and then was confronted by the hate that only the hate of children can effect you. Hate based on the lies of a patent who gave up nothing, lived the single life and gaslighted me and the children. Then I realised how I should never have had children, for their sake, not mine. The pain of losing your children in this circumstance is beyond words.

0points

Christi Brown 2 years ago

So much to unpack

0points

AngelWingsYT 2 years ago

Lot of these i can relate to. I like the freedom to go to conversations n travel. The world is shitshow that i cant justify bringing a kid into (especially going into psychology) i dont have the body to handle it (im very short n skinny). I have genetic condition that can be very frustrating to deal with. Id 100% rather adopt

0points

Sebby's Mama 2 years ago

Besides just not liking children, I have bipolar disorder, anxiety, and epilepsy. Also, being on social security and making less than $11,000 annually (which means I have to live at home), there is no way I could ever afford everything needed to raise a child. Lastly, one of my dogs isn't kid friendly.

0points

anthony moring 2 years ago

Bored Panda really has a lot of child free posts that pop up.

0points

Lovemyisland ️ 2 years ago

If you love kids and choose to have good for you ☺️. If you don't like them to much and don't want, please have sex with protection and make sure you never have, and even if that does not work there are plenty of programs for people that does not want kids and they can place them on a lovely family that can't have one on their own. If you want to adopt, good for you too ☺️. There are a lot of different ways to form your own family, people stop judging others just because you don't think the same as them.

0points

Kenneth Mitchell 2 years ago

While I enjoyed and loved my kids, you have no real clue as to what your partner and their influencers will devolve into.

0points

Kat 2 years ago

So many topics lately about not wanting kids and no topics how people actually are happy that they have kids or actually want them. Why is that so?

0points

Pat Grimshaw 2 years ago

No one mentioned the potential child justice system railroading you, because your ex lied and they don't care. 120,000 dollars and counting and that's for losing

-1point

Angie Hutchings 2 years ago

I have kids, I absolutely adore them and love them soooo much. I'm single mom of two.. it's very difficult to raise kids on my own. HONESTLY I thinks age 2, 3 and 4 are absolutely WORST, WORST!!!! my last baby who is 3 now omg. Just omg! Lol. If I could rewind time, I would rather adopt older children lol. But I don't regrettably having them. I just can't wait for my last baby to turn 5 in two years later cuz my oldest son who is 5 now and he's absolutely ANGEL I absolutely love that boy! I love my last baby as well it's just man, toddler sure driving a parent nuts!!! Lol. And this is why I got tubes tied as well. I'm so done having kids and I'm absolutely don't want to go through toddler phase all over again as well. So if you are a person don't want any children then it's understandable, they are alot of work that's for sure!

-1point

Sagittarius.7677 2 years ago

I love the little rug rats. Im having kids. I work at a car dealership and my customer or client had her son he couldn't sit still. Why she filled out the paped work me and him had a ball chasing and hiding from each other in the dealership.😂 I had more fun play with the toodler then making money. If thats not a sign or the baby bug I dont know what it is then😂😁

-1point

Sagittarius.7677 2 years ago

-1point

Kenshiro hokuto 2 years ago

No worries I am working on having lots of kids for you. They are the best thing that could happen to a human being, sure its hard, but it makes you less centered on yourself, if you are a lover of self, without natural affection, don't have them.

-1point

Justine Jiang 2 years ago

When I was in my 20s, I shared pretty much all the thoughts listed here about kids. But things started to change after I turned 30. I felt my life was just keeping running after goals, each goal became less meaningful after achieve d. My kid has provided an anchor for me in life. I get to build a relationship with someone deeply and experience life all over again with him. It's like planting a little tree. Like gardening, parenting is hardwork but it's also very rewarding. Yes we are all flawed and we probably will all unconsciously cause damage to our kids. But as long as you love them, you will want to improve yourself too. I grow with my kid every day, as a parent, also as an individual.

-1point

Kymberlie Hester 2 years ago (edited)

I have kids. I do not regret them one bit. I was told I wouldn't be able to carry a child, and that tore me up inside. Then unexpectedly I got pregnant by someone that I wasn't serious with. I was just a fling and we both were ok with that. Long story short, her bio dad chose not to stick around. It was a shock to both of us when I actually carried a child unlike what the doctor stated before. It's been a struggle giving her the correct parenting by myself. If it wasn't for my mom, idk what I would have done with work, school, ect. What worse than being a single parent to a beautiful baby, is years later having a son that passed at 2 month, 2 weeks, and 2 days. Yes I hate the number 2. It kills a part of you. Today actually makes the 3rd year since he passed. I'm scared of even if my daughter has kids when she is older. I'm terrified something could happen to her baby, AND SHE'S ONLY 12! It puts a dark cloud on having a baby. Some things you can't control and losing a child that you love changes you.

-1point

Harold Seaman 2 years ago

Lol yes they are love hate relationship!!! I agree with a lot of the captions but you always forget old age!!!! What happens when your spouse dies and your alone or disabled? Pretty sure you wished you had a family to take care you!!! Nope nursing home and you die alone.... Kids are a burden with benefits for sure and beat any darn video game!!! Plus who do you leave all your stuff too?

-2points

Julie Reynolds 2 years ago

Raising a children is the sweetest experience of my life. Nothing worthwhile is often easy! No amount of travel, comforts, girls trips, spa days or quiet nights in could ever replace the joys of family life and and parenthood. This is honestly the saddest collection of comments I've ever read. Children bring light to a home and to the world- if they don't, that's on us as parents and mentors. If you fret about the state of the world, then change it by raising powerful humans who will do good!

-2points

NGS SYSTEMS 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-2points

DJ Jukeboxhero 2 years ago

#31 kid grows up to vote democrat

-3points

Jonathan Tyler 2 years ago

Honestly, some decent responses on this list but a LARGE portion of it is just "Cause I don't wanna" rephrase. I get that's the point of the list, but when paired with some of the actual good points in the article a lot of it just feels like filler in comparison. I respect it though. I enjoy my daughter, I was doing s**t else but be irresponsible with my life anyways, wanting to be a dad helped me more than hurt. The passing on of trauma one is one that hits home the most so I'm always scared of overparenting or messing up in some way that continues instead of breaking the cycle. But, that made me actually confront and try to fix my own s**t instead of sinking in it. Again, I always respect people taking precautions to prevent pregnancy though instead of being one of those "You shouldn't be a parent, parents" so nice list of reasons and seeing other perspective.

-3points

Travis Earl 2 years ago

All these people will likely have kids at some point. It’s the same ole song and dance until the biological clock starts ticking.

-3points

Kelly F 2 years ago

This is the plot of Idiocracy.

-3points

Senjiru 2 years ago

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Jason Rhoads 2 years ago

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Toni Duval 2 years ago

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Sok Loh 2 years ago

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POST

Michael Largey 2 years ago

I might like to have kids when I grow up, but I'm 71 already.

77points

Groundcontroltomajortom 2 years ago

47points

TimeToIndulgeMyADHD 2 years ago

13points

Angel Rose 2 years ago

22points

Kleo Patterson 2 years ago

4points

Anika Monosmith 2 years ago

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Pam Akers 2 years ago

Anika: I have no children. I am retired. I am selfish?

5points

krssss 2 years ago

I'm tired of responsibilities and raising a kid is a heavy burden so no

27points

DuchessDegu 2 years ago

I like silence, sleeping and money.

25points

gila the night/sand 2 years ago

society: have kids!!!!!! me: my bloodline ends with me b***h

20points

Lousha 2 years ago

18points

Morganne 2 years ago

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Milan 2 years ago

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- 2 years ago

17points

Steve Barnett 2 years ago

No kids. Mainly because of the possibility of passing on my mental health issues. I couldn't put another human being through that $hit, not ever.

16points

Tams21 2 years ago

15points

Celeste Grant 2 years ago

15points

A.D 2 years ago

My favorite excuse isn't even an excuse. I don't want to deal with them. It's my choice because I don't owe anyone kids or grandkids. I don't like them and I don't want them.

10points

Dre Mosley 2 years ago

I simply never have had an interest in parenthood and like the freedom not having children allows me to have.

9points

Kelsey Rivera 2 years ago

4 words: child birth scares me

7points

Annette Blanks 2 years ago

7points

Guwon 2 years ago

I'm the oldest of my siblings, I'm done with parenting.

7points

Jacqueline Pie Francis Premium 2 years ago

7points

Binary Sun 2 years ago

6points

Jessica Julian 2 years ago

6points

Megan Morse 2 years ago

Not to mention kids are absolute germ factories and will give you EVERY illness under the sun. Nahh keep them away from me at all costs 😂

6points

Natalie Kudryashova 2 years ago (edited)

6points

Amy S 2 years ago

5points

Kara Born 2 years ago

I want kids, but I have really bad anger issues so I know it's not a good idea for me to have them

5points

Briattny Brittany 2 years ago

5points

Dionne Boyd 2 years ago

5points

Markus It/Its 2 years ago

5points

SarahGrey1810 2 years ago

5points

Pterodactyl in Disguise 2 years ago

I am planning to adopt a kid or something (I don’t really know), but never have kids until they can be put in a world that doesn’t have problems and won’t turn into a burning hot dystopia

5points

Milan 2 years ago (edited)

BP rotates the same topics over and over. America, Things in Work, (no)Children, Same AITA stories. It is really boring after all this time….

5points

Nicole Bowman 2 years ago

4points

Susanne B 2 years ago

4points

Zelda Blue 2 years ago

4points

Sent From The Slytherin House 2 years ago

4points

Vira 2 years ago (edited)

I'll say the same thing that I told my mother, when she started pushing me to have kids, at 22. "If I'm old enough to choose to have children then I'm old enough to know that I do not want children."

4points

Lisa H 2 years ago

I used to work in a mall for years and every year, the mall Santa and the Easter bunny near where I worked reminded me why I never want children. Not that I needed reminding.

4points

Brobro McDuderson 2 years ago

4points

Robert T 2 years ago

Other people's kids. Nothing more to it than that. Awful creatures. Should be banned.

4points

Bi-Polar Express 2 years ago

4points

Microwave Chef 2 years ago

I don't understand why people feel like they need a reason not to have kids. I think a better question is why someone would want a child.

3points

Alivia Ann 2 years ago

3points

iateyourfish 2 years ago

3points

Leahsa Haas 2 years ago

With ALL the birth control methods available, there's no reason or "excuse"(for some people) to get pregnant unless you want to.

3points

A.D 2 years ago

My favorite excuse isn't even an excuse. I just plain don't want them. Don't want to deal with them and I don't owe anyone grandkids.

3points

SomeGuyinWY 2 years ago

3points

Mark Fuller 2 years ago

3points

AndThenICommented 2 years ago (edited)

3points

Briana Landers 2 years ago

Y'all........ Women aren't incubators.

2points

Arianna 2 years ago

2points

Aliza M 2 years ago

2points

Tedee 2 years ago

Toxic people and comments.

2points

Katherine Kassler 2 years ago

2points

Dillon H 2 years ago

2points

Annie Steele 1 year ago

Sterilised at 20, hysterectomy at 40 .. chances of me having kids = 0. Living my happily ever after 100%

1point

ŘΔŦ 1 year ago

I'm never ganna have kids... I'm 11 and I don't like babies T~T

1point

Tara Wright 1 year ago

Not having any more privacy to yourself.

1point

Annie Steele 2 years ago

1point

Beachbum 2 years ago

I must have hit the kid jackpot, they were always just great little people. And now, that they are adults, son, is 29 and daughter is 24, they are both absolutely my bestfriends.

1point

Timothy Olsen 2 years ago

1point

David Kanda 2 years ago

1point

Chantal Guyatt 2 years ago

1point

lazy mama 2 years ago

1point

Judith B. 2 years ago

1point

Izzy_ 2 years ago

1point

Alex Means 2 years ago

I'm really impatient, have a nasty temper, and I've always struggled with empathy. There's no way I'd be a good parent and I'm not about to ruin a kids life because "it's different when it's yours"

1point

Diane Smith 2 years ago

When people talk about how much bigger families (6-10 kids) years ago and they say it was to work on the farm, I tell them it's because they didn't have birth control.

1point

Diane Smith 2 years ago

I like kids. I didn't want to be a parent. Knew it since I was 16.

1point

Jane Dupree 2 years ago

1point

Rens 2 years ago

1point

Sammy Vick 2 years ago

1point

Anika Monosmith 2 years ago

1point

Alana Voeks 2 years ago

1point

Momma Panda 2 years ago

1point

Vorknkx 2 years ago

1point

Brendan Sizemore 2 years ago

1point

Random Anon 2 years ago

1point

Plutarch 2 years ago

It's not good for the planet so that's why I'm not having kids.

1point

Stephanie Chapman 2 years ago

1point

D Peterson 2 years ago

I agree 100% with each & everyone of you! I'm a 69 year old woman who has never once regretted not having children.

1point

Daffodil 2 years ago

1point

Rose-A-Lix 2 years ago

Rather adopt a kid that can clean themselves

1point

Ein Steinbeck 2 years ago

People on reddit sure know their target audience with this (re)post.

1point

Adriana Valle 2 years ago

1point

Unni Panda 2 years ago

1point

Natalie Doran 1 year ago

0points

Sea cucumber (They/them) 1 year ago

They're too expensive, I like my sleep, and I get irritated very easily.

0points

Flo 4132 1 year ago

0points

Boatswain Bill 1 year ago (edited)

30 examples of self-centered sociopathy. Wouldn't surprise me if a handful went on to shoot up a couple schools...

0points

Sea cucumber (They/them) 1 year ago

0points

Duncan 1 year ago

I'd go back even further. Kids take every spare moment you have, but before kids marriage takes a lot of that too. Being and staying single is underrated.

0points

Jesha 1 year ago

0points

Heidi 1 year ago

Silence and money! ❤️

0points

Alex Mosby 1 year ago

I think my mom had kids so that she could be a grandma.

0points

Loanni Kerris 1 year ago

0points

Annie Steele 1 year ago

My own parents were enough of a reason not to have any. Couldn't imagine them as grandparents.

0points

colorfultragedy 1 year ago

0points

Tiffany Persaud 1 year ago

0points

Kate Kovach 1 year ago

0points

Some guy 1 year ago

I love the term "child-free". So positive and uplifting!

0points

Shakira Wheelden 1 year ago (edited)

0points

Stealthee 3k 1 year ago

0points

Dana Brechwald 1 year ago

0points

Suzy Creamcheese 1 year ago

What makes me not want to have kids? Being around other people's kids.

0points

Roald 1 year ago

Think ahead. Meeting someone with a wish to have children and you don't is a struggle and dilemma you don't want or need in your life.

0points

moonlit muffins 1 year ago

0points

Jay 1 year ago

0points

Laura 1 year ago

0points

Gwen Davis-Feldman 1 year ago

0points

Alybug7689 1 year ago

0points

Shelby McNew 1 year ago

I have a congenital birth defect that I f*****g refuse to pass down, I’m currently trying to get sterilized but I’m only 23 so it’s been a giant pain in the a*s.

0points

Hypoxia Smurf 1 year ago

Sterilization of one or both parties in a marriage can be a factor. ;) [Yah, one kid was enough!]

0points

Evie 1 year ago (edited)

0points

Jessica Edelbrock 1 year ago

0points

Doodles1983 1 year ago

0points

Meeks 1 year ago

0points

Lindy Mac 2 years ago

0points

John Barber 2 years ago

My reason is that I'm hideously ugly, and no woman would want to have a child that looks like me. I don't blame them either.

0points

Ani-87 2 years ago

All very valid points but I have to add: I like my vagina as it is/looks/feels. I don’t want swinging saloon doors.

0points

Illustrious G 2 years ago

0points

Mariah Gensmer 2 years ago

0points

Merilyn Horton 2 years ago

We had our son young and are now free of responsibility and it’s fantastic.

0points

Bill Allen 2 years ago

0points

Hyrule26 2 years ago

0points

Squee She 2 years ago

I feel seen 🤣

0points

Ronnie Beaton 2 years ago

0points

Waxillium 2 years ago

0points

ZenChickChristine 2 years ago

0points

Lene 2 years ago

0points

Olivia Skrastins 2 years ago

0points

Chris T 2 years ago

Of course this pops up a month and half before my first child.

0points

RubbaTiti 2 years ago

If I were a parent, it'd devolve into recreating that one part where Heihachi yeets Kazuya down the cliff

0points

Christi Brown 2 years ago (edited)

0points

Christi Brown 2 years ago

So much to unpack

0points

AngelWingsYT 2 years ago

0points

Sebby's Mama 2 years ago

0points

anthony moring 2 years ago

Bored Panda really has a lot of child free posts that pop up.

0points

Lovemyisland ️ 2 years ago

0points

Kenneth Mitchell 2 years ago

While I enjoyed and loved my kids, you have no real clue as to what your partner and their influencers will devolve into.

0points

Kat 2 years ago

So many topics lately about not wanting kids and no topics how people actually are happy that they have kids or actually want them. Why is that so?

0points

Pat Grimshaw 2 years ago

No one mentioned the potential child justice system railroading you, because your ex lied and they don't care. 120,000 dollars and counting and that's for losing

-1point

Angie Hutchings 2 years ago

-1point

Sagittarius.7677 2 years ago

-1point

Sagittarius.7677 2 years ago

-1point

Kenshiro hokuto 2 years ago

-1point

Justine Jiang 2 years ago

-1point

Kymberlie Hester 2 years ago (edited)

-1point

Harold Seaman 2 years ago

-2points

Julie Reynolds 2 years ago

-2points

NGS SYSTEMS 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-2points

DJ Jukeboxhero 2 years ago

#31 kid grows up to vote democrat

-3points

Jonathan Tyler 2 years ago

-3points

Travis Earl 2 years ago

All these people will likely have kids at some point. It’s the same ole song and dance until the biological clock starts ticking.

-3points

Kelly F 2 years ago

This is the plot of Idiocracy.

-3points

Senjiru 2 years ago

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Jason Rhoads 2 years ago

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Toni Duval 2 years ago

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Sok Loh 2 years ago

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Brad Bondor 2 years ago

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Someone Asks “What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?” And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Austėja Akavickaitė

Austėja Akavickaitė