This!

I’ve occasionally questioned my normal-ness: shouldn’t every healthy adult animal want to perpetuate the species, at least a little? Shouldn’t I have instincts to reproduce? But I don’t XD I want cats and dogs!

It concerns me that it is often regarded as ‘selfishness’. Your entire life is changed, completely. There is nothing wrong with looking after ‘you’. There are enough children in the world, focus on being a better human being for yourself, so the your own freedoms.

You are not selfish. Being selfish would be having a kid and ignoring their needs because yours come first.

Not selfish at all, and I'm a mom. Only you know your story, and what is written in it, or yet to be written. Look at all of the people who should NEVER have had children, that is a true tragedy! Write your story, and live your best life!!

I think it's actually less selfish to understand that you don't have time or inclination for a child. What's actually selfish is having a child when you aren't mentally or financially ready for one (or, in light of recent news, being pressured or forced into having one), and then the child has to bear the brunt of your selfish decision. A child isn't a pet and I see people every day who have kids who treat it like that, and then get bored or annoyed when they realize 'oh wait, this is a kid.' I think it's a lot less selfish to say you aren't sure if you'll be able to give the attention you need to to a child so you'd rather not put yourself or a kid into that position.

Some people are selfish for having kids. I've met plenty of parents who try to live vicariously through their kids & force the kids to do things they have no interest in. I really hate parents who keep asking their adult children: "when are you going to give me a grandbaby?". How about never because you're crazy & they might turn out like you.

This is exactly my attitude to having children.

There's LITERALLY nothing selfish about not wanting kids that hasn't even formed in your belly. If anything, you're being unselfish for preventing your unconceived child to grow up where they're not wanted.

People might call me selfish if they don’t know about my childhood brain cancer or epilepsy diagnoses. I value my own (and other people’s) mental health far more than having kids of my own.

This isn't being selfish. You know what is? "I wAnT cHiLdReN," and tossing the child's personhood away because they aren't EXACTLY what the birthgiver had in mind. You know what you want when you don't want kids. You have no f*****g idea what you want if you want a child to be anything other than f*****g healthy.

If you have the self awareness to label this selfish, then you are not selfish.

I think it’s not selfishness, if you had a kid, probably it would become your first priority, that means your partner goes down to the third place, and you become second in your own life. I don’t want to be second in my own life…

Selfish is wanting to have kids and expecting them to look after you when your old. They have lives and you got your enjoyment out of raising them

How is it selfish? What does having kids do for the world that makes it 'un-selfish'? :D

This was my reason 50 years ago. Never regretted it!

I chose to have a child and I’m happy with it. But I tell people all the time I totally get it if you don’t want kids. They’re so much work! You give so much of yourself.

(i.e.: see reason 2 above)

I hate that it's labeled as selfishness these days. Like, people don't get called selfish for not wanting a pet they can't take care of. Why am I selfish for not wanting a kid I can't take care of but responsible for not wanting a pet?

Absolutely. I tell my kids quite often how inconvenient they are. I could be doing SO many things out sleep all day. I wouldn't have to stop projects right at 5pm to have "family time". Then I remind them I love them more than anything and they are 100% worth it. But to keep this in mind when they decide to have kids. (Actually I tell this mostly to every teen I know, my boys are only 4 and 6.)

It is only selfish to those who envy your choice and the resulting freedom. Those who are secure in their decision to reproduce will not attempt to shame others. Those who are dreadfully unhappy and feel their child/children are a stone around their neck want everyone to join their misery. I center finger salute them all!

This is my reason. I like my freedom, I like that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I like that I can sleep in on my time off. I like the peace and quiet of my house. I like how clean it is. With the exception of my dog herding her toys all over the place. I like my money. My sister chose to have kids. I adore my nephew and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him, but even going out for lunch with her, she spends the majority of her time entertaining him and making sure he ate his lunch, completely ignoring her own food. I don't want that for me.

Great job for being true to yourself & not unnecessarily burdening yourself. 🌟

But whom are you being selfish toward? A hypothetical kid? You're not putting anyone at a disadvantage or depriving anyone of anything. Please don't buy into that guilt trip.

I didn't want children.... I had my son, and my daughter. They were the best until they became teenagers! I love them, and I have two grandsons now, but I wish I hadn't did it... I ended up a single mom, and worked myself to death. They appreciate, nothing I did for them, and now, raising my grandsons. I have cancer, and they could care less. There was a brief time when my kids moved out, and got to finally enjoy being ALONE. I love my all of my kids, and wouldn't give them up for nothing. But, I wish I would have stuck to my plan, and remained childless...

Not selfish, realistic about your needs

**than

I feel like people should definitely only have kids if they want to, and even then they should only have kids once they have done everything they want to do as an adult. Having the kid changes everything

This is why I don't want kids

I'm 46 and the youngest of 13 kids, I have 25 niece's and nephew's and 14 great niece's and nephew's. I've said since the age of 12 that children are not for me. I chose to stay single and not have any children of my own. Because of that decision I was able to stay at home and allow my Mom to quit working full time at the age of 69, help pay and help multiple siblings and their children financially and caring for them and when my Mom's health took a turn for the worse became her 24/7 caregiver with little help. Everyone else, except for one of my sisters that lives locally that is also single and child free who works full time was able to pitch in and help when she was able. My other siblings are living all over the US and had their own households to worry about. If I was married and had children I would not have been able to help everyone when they needed it, take off work when I became sick or be my Mom's caregiver the last 3 years of her life when she needed me the most.

Honestly if this is how you feel parenthood definitely isn't for you. I pat them on the back for honesty and knowing what they want. Being a parent is about sacrifice. My children come before everything and it's not an easy job.

It's not selfish to not want kids.