ADVERTISEMENT

Kids are not for everyone. Yet, many default to expecting people to start procreating once they settle down, even insisting that those who claim not to want children will surely someday change their minds. Especially women.

But there are plenty of valid reasons for living child-free. And if a person doesn't want to commit to spending around 18 years of their life caring for another human being whose well-being depends entirely on them, maybe we shouldn't force them into it? Regardless of whether or not they belong to the heteronormative part of society.

Drawing attention to the problem, Redditor AGstudios22 asked other platform users who don't plan on having kids what made them come to that conclusion, and we thought that reading through the answers can provide you with quite a few interesting insights, regardless of your own position.

#1

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers From my own experience, I don’t like the thought of bringing a kid into the world we live in. I’d much sooner adopt a kid who’s in a shifty place or in a struggling area. There are millions of kids starving out there, there are millions of kids being abused out there. Rather save one of them than bring another kid into this retched place

Red_Archived_505 , vperemen.com Report

RELATED:
    #2

    I really, really don't want to be a parent and I feel like that should at the very least be a prerequisite to having them. My grandmother didn't seem to enjoy parenthood, my mom certainly didn't. They did it because they were "supposed to". I'm breaking the cycle.

    theredheaddiva Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve occasionally questioned my normal-ness: shouldn’t every healthy adult animal want to perpetuate the species, at least a little? Shouldn’t I have instincts to reproduce? But I don’t XD I want cats and dogs!

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #3

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Selfishness. I like the freedom of being able to wake up or go wherever i want without worrying “whos gonna watch my kids” or “my kids are awake so i have to be awake” so i guess I value my personal freedom more then anything a child could provide me

    WhyAmIEvenHereJesus , Nina Uhlíková Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tilly Jean
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It concerns me that it is often regarded as ‘selfishness’. Your entire life is changed, completely. There is nothing wrong with looking after ‘you’. There are enough children in the world, focus on being a better human being for yourself, so the your own freedoms.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #4

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The fact that nothing really makes me WANT to have them. I feel like you should have an overwhelming desire to become a parent - I don’t, so why would I have a kid?

    pupsnpogonas , Nataliya Vaitkevich Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tilly Jean
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good point. You need to be wanting kids 100%. You can’t take it back. Plus it’s important that a child is brought into the world and know they are absolutely wanted.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #5

    You know when you are out in public, and you see parents of children and immediately think, "Those people should have never had kids."?

    That's me. I'm those people. Not only do I agree with you, I also took your advice.

    erieus_wolf Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Iifa A.
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! I'm also one of those people, and I'm taking your advice further and will cross the road over to escape children.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #6

    Can I answer even though I have them?

    The fact that I have them makes me not want them.

    I love my kids and will lay down my life for them, but raising kids SUCKS!

    They financially, physically and mentally suck the life out of you.

    Sure they have their moments but there is nothing rewarding about raising kids, the only thing you get in return is judgement and premature aging.

    I don't regret having them, but man I'll be celebrating hard when they're adults and leave home.

    MelDea Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #7

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Well the total lack of wishing to have a child. Zero desire. Just like I have no desire to have a pet rhino or become a lawyer.

    Gyunda , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Jaguarundi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I watched my friends, single moms, with their kid issues. Kid's sick? I have to call out from work. School issue? I have to go see to that. Groceries? I have to make sure the kid has appropriate food, I may have to eat ramen myself though. I was never ready to make those kinds of decisions. Even two parent households had a lot to shovel through with just one kid. No thanks, I'm good by myself.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #8

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I can barely take care of myself sometimes it feels like, can’t possibly take on another human. More selfishly there’s still a lot of things I want to do that I couldn’t if I had a kid. Lastly, just a pessimistic view of the world and the desire to not want to bring new life into that.

    gnophy , Sharon McCutcheon Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tilly Jean
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s not considered selfish if you’re choosing to look after yourself. Also, you’re thinking of the sorry world that hypothetical child will be left with in the future.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Not wanting to pass on genetic chronic pain/mental illness. Also kids = no money

    JamesBlonde21 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Ozacoter
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is really important. Many illneses are inheritable but it is so normalised to have biological kids that many knew the risk and still choose to have kids. Knowing that they might live in pain for their entire life. There are alternatives like egg/sperm donnors or adoption that at least avoid the genetic issues. I cannot resoect a person that will force their diseases on a child just because they want a bio kid.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #10

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The screaming in the next aisle over at the grocery store because they can't have the <insert item> they want.

    lipp79 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #11

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've just never wanted any. I never played with baby dolls as a child, I never thought twice about babysitting as a teen, and I was always uncomfortable whenever people said "*when* you have kids" (as opposed to "*if*").

    I never found babies cute, I can't imagine spending 24/7 with a little human, and most of all the idea of being responsible for this little creature's happiness and growth, and making sure they become a decent, functioning human being, is *incredibly* intimidating.

    Mwuuh , ANTONI SHKRABA Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    V33333P
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I won't lie, I find babies just downright creepy looking and their smell is in no way pleasant to me

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #12

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers After what’s going on in America right now I’m considering getting my tubes tied

    allero0 , Ted Eytan Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Ozacoter
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For all people considering it the subreddit "childfree" has a huge and international list of sterilisation friendly doctors.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #13

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've been dealing with a mentally disabled older brother for nearly all my life. He's 32 yrs old, but acts like a 7 yr old nearly ALL the time. I love him to death, but after so long of dealing with him growing up (I'm 22), I just do not have the patience to handle something like that again.

    VanessaClarkLove replied: This is my big one. I feel terrible for this, but the fear of having a child that isn’t going to grow into a fully independent person with no limitations stopped me dead. If there was a guarantee they would be of average mental capability, I might reconsider.

    MajesticxFlan , Nathan Anderson Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kate Jones
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know, at least as someone with handicapped issues, it's understandable (and often challenged people hold down jobs and can take care of themselves well!). What's worse- and a big fear for me- is when you have a fully functional adult child who doesn't take care of themselves. You see it all the time; grown adults still living at home and can't hold down a full time job, these man-babies/ princesses who are taken care of by pushover parents. I don't mean someone who's in college and paying rent is still young and figuring things out, etc. I mean these people who still act like children when they're 30 and yell at their parents from their smelly and messy basement rooms, depressive and being willfully unhealthy or becoming drug addicts and being THAT kind of burden is a fear for some people, too. I hate to say it this way, but having loser kids is a legit fear. It's hard to live with someone who enjoys victimhood or is in an out of rehab. You shouldn't go into it thinking it's an 18 year commitment; it's possibly a lifetime commitment.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    *gestures wildly* the state of the f*****g world, maybe?

    It’s irresponsible to bring a child into the world not knowing if you can provide for them a happy, healthy childhood. And as an American, I just can’t envision a future where my next of kin doesn’t suffer terribly for the economic and ecological blunders of our leadership.

    Clockw0rk Report

    #16

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The vast majority of parents I meet complain subtley about having children and how much of a struggle it is, how expensive it is, how they get no sleep, no free time etc.

    Then, they usually realise they can't be seen to complain about having children and finish their complaints by saying "But its the best thing I ever did." This part always feels like the least genuine bit and everything before feels like the truth.

    Furthermore, one of my best friends has a child and spoke candidly about it, saying "I love him to bits but wish I hadn't have had a kid."

    Source: Im a teacher who deals with kids and parents daily.

    TheHawk17 , Ksenia Chernaya Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Glitterati
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two things can be true at once. You can love your child fiercely but also wish they’d sleep past 5am 😄

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #17

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Because all the "best" kid moments to me are not worth losing the ability for my husband and I to spontaneously take off a random Wednesday from our jobs, have some THC, and enjoy the 1200$ Xbox bundle we just got.

    Which is what we did today. No ragrets.

    GirlNamedTex , cottonbro Report

    #18

    World's overpopulated, would rather rescue a kid from the system

    dw87190 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Suzanne Tilson
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those poor souls need so much love, and the government wants to add to their ranks instead of letting same sex couples have them

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #19

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers - history of severe life altering mental health issues I would NEVER wish to risk passing on (bi-polar, clinical depression, psychosis etc) my Mother and Grandmother on her side. Somehow I seem to have turned out okay but it meant I had a really difficult upbringing, but I would hate to go through what she does and don't want to risk passing it on.

    - Lack of freedom / spontaneity. My fiancé and I are like adult children, we're in our 30's and love to play computer games, go out for random ice cream at 11pm, last minute overseas holidays, go out for meals etc whenever we want, I do not want to give that up. A holiday with a child sounds like a chore to me too. Every outing has to be calculated and organised, a simple trip to the store is now a huge chore and time consuming.

    - Loss of self, I don't want to become "Mummy" and nothing else. (Not saying that's what happens to everyone, but I feel some people get lost in their kids and lose all sense of themselves as their world now revolves around their children, which is understandable).

    - Cost. I do not want to struggle financially, I absolutely cannot afford children and I think it is selfish to have them when you can't provide for them appropriately. Unlike some childfree people, I don't want to put all my focus into my career, I have an average job, it pays enough, without kids I am able to have a comfortable life but I also LOVE my job and am happy. If I had kids we would have to change careers or get second jobs, which I am not willing to do.

    - No experience with kids, I don't know what to do with them our how to talk to them. (Please note, I don't hate kids at all, I just don't want any am and awkward with them) I have zero first cousins, my brother is also child free so no nieces or nephews, I've always been awkward around kids even as a kid, and knew from quite a young age parenthood wasn't for me. I do not feel like I have a maternal instinct at all. I do not get giddy seeing babies, but show me a puppy and i'll be melting!

    - Lack of sleep, stress. I want a peaceful and somewhat simple life. I enjoy quiet, I enjoy alone time, I enjoy my sleep. Children to not align with that whatsoever.

    - Affect on relationship. Children can ruin relationships, it's not their fault but they do. Lack of intimacy, lack of quality time, financial issues causing problems etc. This is something people can work through, but I don't want to risk putting a strain on my relationship as things are perfect for us as they are.

    - Risk of severe disability. I absolutely am not willing to look after a severely disabled child for the rest of my life. I have seen how absolutely broken some of these parents are. I saw 2 people yesterday who were clearly husband and wife in their 70's pushing around what appeared to be their profoundly disabled 40ish year old son. That is not the life I am willing to have, but I also don't want to put myself in a position to have to give a child up for adoption.

    Sserenityy , Kelly Sikkema Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #20

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I have tokophobia (extreme fear of pregnancy).

    Tiniweenydani Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    I’ve Seen Things
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cannot upvote this enough! Catholic all girls school run by nuns, where it was rammed home that the worst thing that can happen to you was teenage pregnancy. Classmates also amplified this “fear” and judgement. For some of us, this fear stuck for life not just the school years. I’ve been explaining/citing tokophobia for decades.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #21

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Honestly, TikTok etc..

    I can raise a kid how I think right but there’s only so much you can shield them from the internet and I’m scared of what the future holds with celebrity/influencer brainwashing culture.
    I feel like my generation (early 90’s) was the last generation that was largely safe from this..

    AtasHRC , McKaela Taylor Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Random Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel this so much. I want kids, but this is something that really worries me about how I'm going to raise them. The Internet is as harmful as it is useful.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #22

    I find them annoying.

    Also I have no paternal instinct, don't have the temperament to be a good parent, and I'm poor.

    It would be unfair to any child to have me imposed on them as a parent.

    PovoRetare Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Esiaa
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'I'm poor' this. I barely have enough for myself sometimes. I can't imagine having a kid. Unless the kid gets a job too.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #23

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Those kids who have parents that are perfectly normal but still somehow act like mini serial killers.

    mikmikthegreat , EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Children are born without ethics and morals pre-installed. Of course they’re tiny sociopaths until their parents teach them better… and sometimes, not even normal/good parents can teach them better because the kids don’t WANT to learn society’s rules and conform to them.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #24

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers my mental health and financial situation. i wouldn’t want to raise a kid the same way i was raised.

    badasslexxc , Ron Lach Report

    #25

    It costs too much. The average birth costs like 40k without complications. Decent daycare near me is $1400 a month. That alone is crippling.

    It's bad for the environment and I question the morality of putting my children through the potential climate wars and/or apocalypse.

    Also, sometimes despite your best efforts and doing everything correctly, your kids turn out to be a**holes.

    cavemanfitz Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Panda Kicki
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cost issue is really dependent on where you live. We have free maternal care and delivery in Sweden and the max cost of daycare is about 150 dollars for the first kid and cheaper for siblings. (Sweden)

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #26

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I’ve been clinically depressed for almost a decade. Post partum depression is one of the things that terrifies me about the prospect of having kids. Also I am in no way mentally stable enough to be a parent.

    LillFluffPotato , Sarah Chai Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Glitterati
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pregnancy and childbirth gave me severe ptsd. I had PPD and anxiety. I can’t have any more children due to the impact on my mental health. The struggle is real. I still wouldn’t change a thing as my child is the love of my life but if I had never known that love I wouldn’t miss it.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #27

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Watching my sister's kid get kicked out of daycare for slamming a kids face into a table and hitting a teacher. he's 3, and the most difficult kid I've met.

    ToeMahSick , Mick Haupt Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    CatGirl
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know that I've ever hated something as much as I've hated the difficult kids I've taught. Just little animals.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #28

    I love my kids but they completely ruined my life and i don't advocate for anyone to have them

    rcarnes911 Report

    #29

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers My neighbor has 7 of them. The only form of communication in that house is screaming. The teenage boy just screamed in the middle of my typing this. Kid is absolute s***e at whatever game he's trying to play. My work meetings are constantly interrupted by his whiny cursing/crying sessions.

    QuackWaddleflow , Anna Shvets Report

    #30

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Pregnancy.
    I’ve always been terrified of pregnancy, but I thought I’d feel more comfortable with it as I got older.
    Nope. I’m 34 and the thought of being pregnant still freaks me out to no end. I’d love to adopt, but I don’t think I ever want to be pregnant.

    Ilovethecolourred , Cparks Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Marianne
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adoption is so important! Pregnancy is not necessary to be a loving parent!

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
    Unlimited content
    Ad-free browsing
    Dark mode
    #31

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers 47 married no kids.

    DINK life is amazing. Out of all my friends from growing up etc who have kids ranging from 3 years to 24, my wife and I have the least amount of stress. So many of them are divorced with complicated child visit schedules. So many of them can't take vacations and do things they want to do. They are stressed out all the time.

    Then COVID hit-- and holy s**t. My wife and I had like a 4 month vacation during the shut down. Working out, sitting by the pool all day, watching movies, drinking cocktails on the patio- it was a taste of retirement- and its within our reach by 55. We saw our friends dealing with all the complications with virtual school etc. Yikes.

    We have a low stress life. We have enough money to do what we want, live where we want, travel when we want, drive nice cars, go to nice restaurants, take a weekend in Napa, etc.

    The idea that you MUST have kids is insane. There are too many people on Earth. We are going into a time of food and water shortages, probably wars over resources. Its just not worth it. We're at the end of the pinnacle of civilization in my opinion. People won't be able to live as comfortable as we can now because resources will be scarce and sadly humans seem to have no desire to solve the climate problem before its too late.

    Raspberries-Are-Evil , Anilsharma26 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Julie Rod
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, too many people! Which is why i think people who are against abortion are insane. Population would be out of control if every pregnancy was carried to term. It's already hard enough to compete for jobs, homes, etc. Abortion is simple and effective population control.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #32

    Watching Supernanny… AND watching horny and selfish people reproduce, only to abuse their children when they’re older 🤗

    studyinthai333 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    propgamer XL
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was watching supernanny and those kids behaved so monstrous. A kid in the comments said: oh I feel like I'm such a good kid now. What's my mom complaining about? I said: I'm gonna tell my kids now that they're wonderful angels.

    #33

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers After rent, food, and insurance I only come away with 200$ a month profit. Which is usually eaten up by a single doctor visit or necessary car part. And I live with two roommates.

    Snowfreak2507 , Karolina Grabowska Report

    #34

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers thought climate change would be the most obvious answer. people who are young now are gonna suffer, but kids being born now are going to face hell.

    7484815926263 , garryknight Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Ozacoter
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Indeed. I live now in a very warm and dry area that 30y ago when i was a kid was visibly colder and rainier (still warm but less bad). Nobody in places of power gives a c**p about the environment. There is more hot days, less rain and we use more water. In a generation or two the nature here might be closer to a desert than a forest. I would never want kids to see this.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #35

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I work for Disney, and what I can say is 50% of parents look miserable. You’re on vacation with your family, and everyone’s miserable the whole time. That worries me. If your kid can’t stop crying in public on vacation, how does that kid react at home?

    DreamPix , Matt Clare Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #36

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I do not want to deal with pregnancy, I do not want my perineum cut open, I don't want to p**s my pants for the rest of my life.

    I do not have the patience to be a good mother. I do not have the skills. I was horrifically abused as a child and then dumped in the foster care system. I never ever had a sane and stable guardian, so what skills could I bring? Of courses most people's answer is that 'you figure it out', but I am a twice degreed Social Worker with extensive experience working with people who should not have been parents, and I can tell you that sometimes you do NOT figure it the f**k out.

    Money. I JUST got to the point where I'm positive I can have enough money to pay my bills AND eat. And I'm about to turn 40 years old. If I had a child before this time, I would've been extremely stressed due to poverty, and just ended up working two jobs and never seeing the kid.

    The father. Takes two to make a baby, and I've never met a man I want to deal with for the rest of my life.

    I love to travel solo. I love to explore this world (well, in the Before Times, anyway). I would not have the time, money, or ability to travel the way I want.

    AhFFSImTooOldForThis , Kelli McClintock Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kate Jones
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like that you mentioned the physical trauma of having a child. It often goes unsaid. While most women generally recover fine and the postpartum is temporary, it's not the case for everyone and birth is extremely dangerous. It can change your body in ways that never go back. And if you truly want kids then it's a sacrifice you're happy to make. But physical repercussions shouldn't just be brushed off. A lot of people on this list have mentioned how much you love your kids but that's a very instinctual thing. If you say 'I'm miserable, but I love them,' then you aren't happy; you're giving into an instinctual love of your offspring that is often ingrained in your lizard brain to keep them alive. It's not a choice and it can have long-lasting physical affects on you. And we don't talk about that enough. It's like loving your parents just because you're 'supposed to' but if you're being abused, you shouldn't stay.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #37

    One of the BIG reasons is that no one I know that has children makes it look the least bit attractive. They use their children alternately as trophies, bargaining chips, and excuses. If I had kids I'd have to hang out with parents more, and my god, they're boring. I was part of a book club once that happened to be mostly moms. The first couple of sessions we talked about the books and our hobbies, but then they co-opted the whole thing to talk about their boring-a*s kids.

    I also enjoy freedom with my husband. We both work from home and can travel quite a bit when we want. It's already hard enough to find a petsitter.

    loudlittle Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Suzanne Tilson
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having kids for any other reason than to love UNCONDITIONALLY ( even if they are LGBTQ or free thinking) is the most awful move I have ever heard of. Not retirement plan. Not gene collector. Nothing . End of discussion

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #38

    I was briefly married to a pedophile. It made it clear to me that I can't tell who has the potential to be a threat to my child's well being. I've known several women who were victims of CSA. I couldn't bear the thought of my child suffering like they do. It seemed like a better idea to just opt out.

    bluetinycar Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Jude Fire
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im a trans male and i was raped in niddle school and i am now being sexually assaulted in high school by going into the males bathroom while still looking like my birth sex. I have never been the same afterwards. I can never look at having children the same way again. I can never look at sex the same way again. I'm Asexual but not just because I have no interest in sex. I am terrifed of someone else touching me the same way others have even if that person in the future has consent. People have touched me too many times without consent. Hell, i was sexually assaulted by my own cousin at 9 ,the first time i met him. I cant even talk to him now.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #39

    1. Trauma my parents gave me
    2. Cost of having a child
    3. Loss of freedom
    4. Potential of raising a murderer or rapist
    5. Health issues before, after and during pregnancy

    blaze5153439 Report

    #40

    Glanced at a newspaper recently?

    Everything written in it is worse than they're saying, on balance.

    kylco Report

    #41

    I don’t want my person/offspring/child to be hurt by the s**tty people in this world. Overall I think I could make a decent person, but it’s the crappy ones that make me not want to put someone else here.

    celestecatherine Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #42

    Late Stage Capitalism and Climate Change

    bouletten_gobbler300 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #43

    Seeing my family. This curse ends with me.

    mlc2475 Report

    #44

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers It's irreversible, you can't unhave kids when you've committed to it, so when you have all those doubts and fears you might not be a good parent, it's hard to take the plunge.

    Plus I'd have to find someone to have a kid with and make more money for it to be viable but I think they're secondary to actually wanting to go through with it.

    Latifi_WDC_2023 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

    #45

    Not trusting myself enough that I'd be motivated enough to take care about them constantly and treat them the way they deserve!

    adidhadid Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #46

    All of it - the money, the time, the mental toll, the world we live in, the overpopulation, the lack of interest in kids, the lack of a partner, the presumable lack of parental skills, my own autism, the autism that my kids would probably inherit...

    Nofabe Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #47

    mainly I don't want to put up with them, I don't need to deal with kid s**t that never stops, just changes form.

    remainoftheday Report

    #48

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers It’s taken me 30 years to “find myself.” When I imagine losing all of that identity and replacing it with a big MAMA BEAR sticker, my stomach turns.
    There are some aspects of having a kid that are appealing: they’ll adore me, they might end up loving all the same music/ movies/ hobbies as me, they’ll love and care for me when I’m old. But none of that is guaranteed and seems selfish and also not worth the gamble.

    Also my family generally ignores me but loses their minds around babies and if that’s the only reason they would want to be in my life then no thanks.

    internet_poser , Oleksandr Pidvalnyi Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Suzanne Tilson
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These were all the reasons I contemplated it. Glad common sense kicked in.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #49

    Generational trauma. Trying my best to change the family script!

    cosmonaut2017 Report

    #50

    They're loud, annoying, expensive, gross, and I like to sleep. I don't want to be woken up in the middle of the night

    makeupandscience Report

    #51

    I recognize the irony here… but they’re selfish… and ungrateful. Kids rarely show gratitude for anything you do for them, they don’t like to share, they’re wildly disrespectful, and I don’t have the tool set to correct those things before they become free actors in society.

    Kids can ruin the mood in an entire room or establishment, they can destroy the most valuable things you own without real consequence, they can hurt people both physically and emotionally, and they build a prison around you financially. Doesn’t that sound terrible?

    Paratrooperkid Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    VM37
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The things you are describing are just kids not beeing raised right. I don't mean to bragg or idolise myself, but my kids are pollite, frendly, pattient to other. They are happy to share toys, know not to take other toys without permission. Never tuined anything while we were guests. I make sure they don't brother people in public places. So children are not little goblins by default, they become due to lack of parental guidence.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #52

    I don't think being born into this s**t is something I want to inflict on another person without their consent. If I felt that being a good parent and helping my kid was enough, I would consider it. As it stands, I'm much more interested in adoption.

    Leningradite Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Libstak
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This. Having no control of the future of the children to ensure they won't suffer just trying to live in this world, also I hate that we all die at some point and then disappear in the cold corners of history like we never mattered at all. Totally morbid, I know but why would I add to what I see as the end result of countless lives lived before me that are just gone now.

    #53

    The idea of being responsible for a human being isn't for me.

    Goobula Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Suzanne Tilson
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I grew up with three younger siblings and parents who are lawyers...lawyers. responsibility gets tiring

    #54

    I want to spend my time and money doing what I enjoy. I can't do that with kids.

    bigred91224 Report

    #55

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Losing the rest of my youth in exchange for raising a child.

    a1234321 , Sharon McCutcheon Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #56

    I would be a *terrible* parent.

    IAmABurdenOnSociety Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #57

    The time, the expense. I don’t like kids much. It just never felt like a good match for me and it wouldn’t be fair to have kids knowing how I feel about it.

    DavyManners Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #58

    The idea that I'd rather be an established surgeon living a comfortable life rather than a struggling white collar worker attempting to juggle a family and marriage.

    6twoRaptor Report

    #59

    Children are cool and all but they consume your life. They become your main responsibility, take all your love and you give it willingly, require so much money and they're just their own person. It's cool that we're able to do that and it sounds fun, sometimes. But if that's my life for the rest of my life? No thank you.

    I just want to be my own person.

    aDistractedDisaster Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took care of my disabled father after he had an accident when I was 18. Being his primary caregiver consumed my life. I never moved out, never got married, had no free time, never went on a trip/vacation, etc. My father just passed away last year after 21 years of being bedridden and brain-damaged. I cared for him willingly as I loved him and did not want to leave him to my mother’s care (she’s your classic narcissistic abuser and used to physically abuse my dad before his accident) but caring for my father showed me emphatically that kids were a big NO THANKS. I want to be my own person finally, like OP does.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #60

    All the poop, pee, cries, and screams 🤣

    traevoh Report

    #61

    Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Money, responsibility, not having any good genes to pass on.

    rai_the_tyrant , Kelly Sikkema Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #62

    I'd be a control freak out of fear, too much responsibility plus i hate crying.

    Alphabater0441 Report

    #63

    In my opinion, you have one life, why waste it on kids? Why waste all the time, money, effort, on kids? After you die, you die. Kids need tons of love, care, attention and so forth, i aint capable of providing that shii anyways, i am dead inside and i wouldnt make a good father figure

    Vergo27 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #64

    At the end of the day, it's my wife's personal decision if she wants to put herself through that. The more we hang out with couples the that have decided not to raise children and are in the same socioeconomic class as us, the better that situation looks on just about every front.

    chili_dippin_it Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Noyfb noyfb
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, at the end of the day it MUST be the decision of both of you, and you will be equally responsible for the child’s care. Either of you has the right to veto having a child. Your idea the the child-bearing decision is completely on her sounds like the usual BS that a man/sperm donor would believe as a pre-rationale for walking out in his Baby Mama.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #65

    I wake up everyday wanting to make myself happy, enjoy life, and travel. It sounds a bit selfish - but I know I'd be unhappy and resentful knowing my sole purpose was taking care of children and their happiness. It's 18 years of putting your needs last and I'd rather be able to choose what I do for myself everyday.

    Texasgurl899 Report

    #66

    I work fulltime in a crèche. There's no way I'm spending 9-6 with children and then coming home to more children. Nope.

    oldshanshan Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Suzanne Tilson
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great thing about teaching kids. You can send the little minions back and only have to deal with them periodically

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #67

    The economy.
    I grew up in a huge family so I've always been around children and love spending time with them but it's gotten so expensive to have one that I worry my income will never be where it should be to give a child a good life without stressing me or my wife out 24/7

    Ahkwatic Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #68

    Bottom dysphoria, being gay/ace as f**k, crumbling capitalist society, the erosion of reason and logic in our government, crushing poverty and the lack of stable long-term housing, lack of healthcare and daycare options, unfulfilled ambitions that are more appealing than parenthood right now...

    You know. Millennial problems.

    Cosmic-Cranberry Report

    #69

    All the suffering I have and all life in time is enough to convince me to make the choice not to procreate. Adoption maybe if I was rich and successful.

    Feeling-Loneliness Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #70

    Germaphobia, I don’t like crumbs and spilled juice everywhere.

    Earballs_dmove Report