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30 People Explain Why They Said ‘No’ To A Marriage Proposal

With spring pouring blossoms and warmth on us more and more with each coming day, it's not surprising that many lovers could be found sitting at parks, watching birds building their nests. Love is in the air and as cliche as the saying sounds, it does bear some truth to it. New couples show up like mushrooms after good rain while old ones are reminded of their love once more. And although young love is perhaps the sweetest, many people believe that true love can only be secured with a marriage proposal. While some might argue about that prospect, others share their firsthand experiences with proposals.

One Reddit user zp1995 recently asked people who declined a proposal why they did that. And within the next 24 hours, replies flowed non-stop with some acquiring as many as 31k likes. From simply sad to somewhat bizarre, people shared many stories where a marriage proposal was the main focus. So, scroll down to read some of the best ones and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites!

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My mom had been dating a guy for a few weeks after his wife had just died from cancer his daughter was at college and he was paying for her education/boarding/food. I had just turned 18 and started paying my mom rent money , he proposed but said that I needed to move out because he didnt like me and thought that I was a free loader. my mom told him that she loved me more than him and that he could shove his dead wife's ring up his ass and left him.

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I proposed to my boyfriend of three years. He told me he loved me but just wasnt ready because his parents had a really bad marriage and frankly, he didnt know if he could ever get married.

I cried my eyes out and he held me but he was (gently) adamant. I accepted after a while that we wouldn't get married and to be happy that we were together and loved each other.

Two years later he proposed to me.

Married 12 years so far!

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He literally only proposed because i caught him cheating. He thought i would say "yes! Omg of course! I forgive you! Please, continue to cheat on me after we both sign a legally binding contract!" Dude was dumb.

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I was in my first few years of teaching and one of my nine year old students brought his sister’s play ring to school, got down on one knee when the class was on the field, and he proposed to me. It was very sweet. I declined saying that he was a little young for me.

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I’m on the opposite side of this story, but it’s still a good one. This was years ago. My girlfriend and I were at a friend’s wedding, and I got caught up in the romanticism of it and wound up blurting out a proposal at the reception. She said no, and explained that this wasn’t the memory of a proposal that she wanted. It felt tacky to tie this important moment to someone else’s special day, and she told me to ask her again later, in a different setting. Literally five minutes later, they announced that the bride was going to throw the bouquet. All the girls lined up, it went into the air, and sailed straight into my girlfriends arms. She laughed, turned to me, and said, “That moment is pretty good. Okay, I guess we’re engaged.”

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We were on the verge of a breakup when he asked. We'd been having problems for a few years. His idiot friend told him it was a good idea to propose and that it would make everything magically better. I told him no, we broke up and I moved away for a while.

As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder..it was true in our case. We were able to work things out. I moved back and 2 years later, we got married. We've been together for 24 years, have 2 daughters and 1 grandchild!

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A coworker of mine, happily married for a good long while, told me that the only man she dated before her husband was obsessed with her, and pursued her even after she broke up with him and had proposed multiple times before and after they broke up. He just had this unhealthy obsession with her for some reason. The last time he proposed to her was the day before her wedding to her husband. She of course turned him down, and he finally moved on and married a different girl.
I told her jokingly that he sounded unhinged and she really dodged a bullet there. She went quiet for a moment and then said, "Well, he killed the woman he DID end up marrying."

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He was that weird stoner patron that came in just to talk to me even though I wasn’t interested. He told me he was the heir to the commonwealth and should be king after Elizabeth dies, because he had the 3 out of the emblems of the United Kingdom, and once he got the 4th it would secure his position. He would also make airplane noises when I had my attention turned to other tasks. That’s a no Jason.

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Because she was like 30 years younger than I was, and I already married her mother, who gave birth to her 5 years ago.

I love her 3000 so there’s that.

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#10

My mother was engaged to a man while she was in college. The wedding plans were well underway and as the wedding got closer, her fiancé started acting super clingy and possessive. She called it off a few months before getting married. He has lived locally their whole lives so she's run into him a few times. Apparently he's the super jealous type who doesn't let his wives have male friends and he has been married three times. My mom definitely dodged a bullet.

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Batwench Premium 5 years ago

Dodged an entire firing range I would say.

110points

Estimation 5 years ago

this comment needs more upvotes

15points

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earringnut 5 years ago

Wives as in more than one. I'm guessing he's been divorced a few times.

3points

Kaleigh 5 years ago

good no one wants a toxic relationship

3points

Mia O'Brien 5 years ago

Ya she did

2points

meapthealien 5 years ago

Let his WIVES how many did he have ?

1point

Frozengeckolover 5 years ago

Three. But not all at the same time.

3points

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#11

My abusive girlfriend tried to get me to marry her. Then, she beat me with a chair for slightly overcooking the Thanksgiving turkey. Yeah, turns out that beating somebody so bad that you break their arm is a good way to get your proposal turned down.

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#12

My now wife asked me to marry her. I told her I needed to think about it and eventually told her no. I thought I would had held her back. my store was closing down and 2 months before that happened, I turned down a different offer to stay. so, I knew I was gonna be without work for some time. She didn't take it well and we didn't speak for a couple years. Eventually though our paths crossed again and we both missed each other tons. One night she tells me "so molecule, you make up your mind yet?" i instantly broke down laughing and 2 weeks later we were married.

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#13

Proposed to my college girlfriend when I was 20 and she was 21. We had been dating for a year and she got pregnant. I thought we were in love because everything was great and I genuinely loved her. I had a great job and so I proposed because I wanted to marry her and start a family. She then broke down and started crying, she told me she had been sleeping with her ex boyfriend for the past month. She then said that she didn't know who the baby belonged to so went and got an abortion without consulting me or him. She got back together with him and I spiraled into alcoholism for the next few years.

Im about to turn 30 now, went back to college 2 years ago and no longer use drugs or alcohol (besides weed sometimes). I'm starting life over again at 30 after all that, and having to take care of my grandfather who had a stroke.

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#14

My husband proposed one month into dating. I declined because, you know, one month.

A year later we moved in together and he proposed and I declined because I wasn’t ready.

Almost three years later and two more declined proposals I said yes on the 4th time. I finally felt ready.

We have been married 11 years. In retrospect, his instincts were probably better than mine :)

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#15

Well, he proposed as I was breaking up with him, which was awkward and for some reason he thought it would make me change my mind.

Also he had threatened to kill my family the day before (hence the breakup) so there’s that.

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#16

He was very bold about it, calling it out loudly in public so others would hear him. I felt the weight if people staring at us, and it was too much. I said no.

I mean, some people are into the homeless look, but 17 year old me just wasn't ready to make a cardboard home with the first hobo on the street who hollered at me. I had to find myself first.

Joking aside, I was visiting my cousins in Cali and a homeless man with a huge scruffy beard, Hagrid style, asked me to marry him at the top of his lungs. I froze, shook my head, and then hurried along. He yelled after me that I was missing out.

Maybe I was, old man. Maybe I was.

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#17

He asked me, on condition that I changed myself into something that he wants, so he can fulfill his dreams. All this while ignoring all my dreams. So... I chose to go forward alone

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#18

He told me he wouldn't say that he loved me until we were married. Big red commitment flag

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#19

I was 29 and had been with my boyfriend four years when he "proposed." I put scare quotes around it because he didn't actually say anything - he just got down on a knee and showed me a ring. Every time we had talked about marriage, I told him I wasn't ready. Our relationship was solid, but I felt sort of listless in it and like we never really fully connected, or had real talks of any depth. I always felt like it was me talking and him listening but not giving much back. We never ever fought. The proposal felt like a microcosm of that dynamic: instead of having a real talk about what he wanted, which would have been hard, he just bought a ring (a diamond, btw, which I told him I didn't want but he didn't believe me) to try to sidestep dealing with any difficult feelings or conflicts.

We stayed together after that, though - I felt so confused, he seemed so devoted, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. A year and a half later, I found out he had been pursuing other women through much of our relationship, including my best friend, who he was infatuated with (she did not realize), and was having an emotional affair with a woman at his work. He acted like a complete crazy person after this all came to light, and all the resentments he had secretly buried came up (culminating in a letter to my parents where he essentially blamed me for his cheating, based on offenses like my doing my laundry separate from his and not accepting his money/liking to keep our finances separate). I felt validated about the vague unease I had had for so many years and was glad I listened to that intuition that there was something not right, though I wish I had sooner.

About a month later, I met my now-husband, and we married a year and a half later - I never hesitated with his proposal, even though it was only a few months in. It's been three years now and I am so happy with him - we're expecting our first child in November!

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#20

Gorgeous 19 year old girl I worked with. We had been a little flirtatious with each other but were just close work friends. I was under 25 (m)

She got knocked up by a guy she wasn’t dating seriously. She was opposed to abortion so was planning to keep the baby but wanted to end it with that guy

She took me aside and slowly and seriously proposed marriage with me. Her rationale being that we loved each other even though we were just friends and that I would be a wonderful father, so we should give it a shot.

She was sincere, but seeing as her proposal was insane (though oddly tempting) I said no

She married the father of her child shortly after. They’re still married, going on 20 years now. Only one child

So I suppose I said no because I was a young man and that wasn’t my child. I do wonder what would have happened if I’d said yes... but that would have been insane... right?

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#21

It was our first date. He showed up drunk and called me somebody else's name

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#22

I was going through post-partum depression and I had no support system to speak of. I was a teenager and my mom just kept repeatingly telling me to give my son up for adoption because no one would ever want me and you're nothing without a man. That being said, there was one meathead jock who had been asking me out for years that I always turned down because we had nothing in common. We had never even had a conversation before yet he would religiously ask me out for almost every dance and Valentine's. Well that Valentine's when he asked me out again, I just gave up and said yes. We dated for a year, the whole time him telling me he had always admired me from afar, loved my creativity and individuality; but also telling me to stop dying my hair and grow it out, to get manicures and wear make-up, to lose weight and wear designer clothing.

After a year, he proposed. We were 19 and he said he was ready to start a family with me. That we would perfect and our kids would be perfect. It was like I snapped out of a fog. I realized that if I married him I would be unhappy for the rest of my life. So we broke up. A year later I met the man that I did eventually marry.

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#23

I met him at an art opening, he flew back to his home state a couple days later. We spent a month talking on the phone every day, and he asked me to come with him to Italy while he produced some paintings for a patrons new villa. I started getting everything together to renew my passport and prepare for the trip. He told me he was going to propose to me in Italy. I told him this was too much for me and I wasn’t feeling like we were on the same level in the relationship. He lost his shit, called me 50 times through the night, but after the first time I didn’t answer anymore. A few years later I found out he had gone to prison- statutory rape of one of his art students.

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#24

Got asked in college by a close female friend. We weren't dating, I hadn't ever felt an attraction to her, and I knew she just wanted a husband more than she wanted me, the actual person. 100% yikes

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#25

I was fresh out of high school and dating a guy in the military that I went to school with. We had been dating about three months when he proposed. He was nice, and I could have seen a future with him but three months was just too soon for me, even though we had been friends for quite some time. I told him I wasn't ready and he never spoke to me again.

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#26

I thought my ex had anger management issues, and I didn’t get along with his mother. He was too attached to her. He later became a violent alcoholic—years after we broke up. He also stole quite a bit of money from me to give to his mother for bills... I was not aware of this until months after the fact. I feel like I dodged a huge bullet there.

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#27

I was scared and "selfish".

As a veteran, they were suffering from severe PTSD, had already attempted suicide, and were using drugs to self medicate. As much as I loved and adored him (and still do), I knew there were things I wanted for myself and it wouldn't be possible if I had to be the caretaker all the time. If I had said yes, I would be a widow now.

I know I did the right thing for me but I don't feel like I did right by them. I wish I could have been stronger.

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#28

He was pissed as a newt and we had only been dating a year. 10 years later he did it properly. We’ve been married 6 years.

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#29

When he asked, my future flashed in front of me and I hated it. He was a good guy and I did love him, but we wanted different things. We had been together for many years but the proposal was still a surprise. I think he proposed to try and save a sinking relationship.

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#30

I was getting ready to move to Japan. We weren’t even dating and I had been upfront that I only thought of him as a friend. He spent our junior and senior years of university trashing me because that’s the mature thing to do when people are honest, right?

Out of the blue, he texts me a proposal. Says I need a strong man to protect me (so much lol- 1. It’s Japan 2. He was your standard neckbeard).

I just texted back a simple “no” and didn’t hear from him again for years.

I come to hometown for my sister’s wedding. He texts out of the blue asking if I need a date. I had a boyfriend at the time. “Sorry, no.”

I get married a few years later. He starts whining about never getting a girlfriend and getting sympathy. I want to believe it was a coincidence, but he raged about stupid bitches when I got pregnant. So, who knows?

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As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. She's also glad that her Bachelor’s degree in English Philology didn’t go to waste (although collecting dust in the attic could also be considered an achievement of aesthetic value!) Giedrė is an avid fan of cats, photography, and mysteries, and a keen observer of the Internet culture which is what she is most excited to write about. Since she's embarked on her journalistic endeavor, Giedrė has over 600 articles under her belt and hopes for twice as much (fingers crossed - half of them are about cats).

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What do you think ?

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Doober 5 years ago

Some of these are kinda disturbing

27points

Elizabeth 5 years ago

Why do people try to propose or get pregnant to save a bad relationship?

19points

Daria B 5 years ago

Yeah, that's what I noticed too. Lots of guys trying to propose while she was being mad at them? Where did they get that from? Not even romantic comedies are like this anymore.

14points

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Serbob 5 years ago

My mom was with a man for 7 years and engaged. His family didn't like her. They had money and she was "just" a hairdresser in the 60s. They told him that if he married her they would disown him and he wouldn't get a penny. He went to her and said he didn't know what to do. She told him that she would decide for him. She left Denmark and moved to Canada where she met and married my dad. Thanks to that s****y family and weak boyfriend I'm here today.

14points

Carol Emory 5 years ago

My son was 5 years old and going to an after school daycare in a woman's private home. She had 3 daughters (3, 5 and 7 years old) that took and instant liking to him. They would constantly try to get his attention, but being a five year old..he was more interested in games, coloring and rolling in mud puddles. One day, I pick him up and the lady that runs the daycare said she had to separate the girls in time out because, apparently, each of them had declared that they would be the one to marry my son and proceeded to get into a physical fight over who was right. Problem was, none of them asked my son...who was oblivious to the commotion he had caused. I finally talked to the girls and told them he was entirely too young to get married and that we would see what happened in the next 15 years. Somehow..they were ok with that...''\_("-)_/''

8points

Phoebe Bean 5 years ago

Follow your instincts. Enough said.

7points

Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com 5 years ago

at least this post is making me feel a bit better about the fact that I'm less likely to get married than a dead pope

6points

roy clitton 2 years ago

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0points

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Gracie Mae 5 years ago

when i was barely 18 and dating a "bad boy" (complete with arrest record) when he gave me a dozen roses on our 1 month anniversary and asked me to marry him. he was already showing signs of being clingy and jealous, so it was a hard and fast no. i broke up with him before our second month anniversary. no idea whatever became of him, but i'm happy with my decision.

4points

TC 5 years ago

A year ago -after 40 years- I met my 15 year old high school crush. She was divorced and so was I. We're more or less going out together (we live in different cities). She's tough but I'm almost certain I'll make the move sooner or later.

3points

roy clitton 2 years ago

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Thalia Lovering 5 years ago

His father was cheating on his mum but it was ok because "he bought her jewellery". That's a huge NO sign for me.

3points

Aroha 5 years ago

His biggest dream in life is to have kids. His eyes light up when he speaks of his future family. He is just a natural dad, even now when he doesn't have children yet. I on the other hand was never sure. And then suddenly I got told that my chances to get pregnant were very low and if I wanted to have kids, I'd have to try immediately. He proposed and I just knew that my answer was no; to both questions.

3points

roy clitton 2 years ago

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Reilly Beryll 5 years ago

I was never proposed to, but my boyfriend did go on constantly about how we would live together and he’d do anything for me. Constantly. About homes. About moving out. I was sixteen. He also talked constantly about wanting to die, and pulled a few manipulative moves. I’m pretty sure he would have proposed eventually, which would have been horrible, because he threatened to kill himself when I broke up with him, so I don’t know what he would have done if he proposed. He just generally creeped me out. Clingy as hell.

3points

Nikki D 5 years ago

Huge red flags! I think most girls have had a guy like this.

0points

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okpkpkp 5 years ago

I was 45, tired of my wife of ten years drinking every day from 6 am until she passed out, so I told her I was moving. At the same time, I was seeing doctors and specialists about my falling down problem, even when I was sober, lol. Turns out I got a very painful brain disease, I wouldn't be able to work any longer, no health insurance, money, etc. 28 days after my divorce was final, friend of a friend told me to call the county so we could be married so I'd have medical, dental and a place to live. I did. We were. and come August 2019 we will celebrate 18 years together. I still have the brain disease and am very disabled but I get around a bit and am now 65. What a life.

2points

somnomania 5 years ago

Not to steal thunder from most of these, which are funny or scary, but having to decline a proposal is a very real issue that disabled people like myself face, in the US and other countries. Even if I were interested in marriage, if my girlfriend proposed I'd have to say no, because I could lose my disability benefits if I got married. The combined allowed resource limit for a married couple is $3000 in the US, when it should ideally be $4000 (one person is allowed to have $2000 at a time, max). It seems that most disabled people do have to make the difficult choice between the symbolism of a marriage, and their disability benefits and/or healthcare. No one should have to make that choice, it's stupid.

2points

Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

I had no idea. That's shocking!

1point

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roy clitton 2 years ago

0points

Alaina Seibal 3 years ago

You can easily get your ex by useing Dr Akhigbe love spell. I’m a testament of how he restored back my broken relationship of 6 years , he can make your ex come back to you message he on email Drakhigbespellhome7@gmail.com .

0points

Sophia Daily 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

Dated a guy I met at work (at Target). On the second date, he told me he liked me because I reminded him of his first cousin, who had died, and who he had been in love with. I actually think it's stupid to consider first cousins as taboo, because there is no scientific reason, and most societies don't consider it to be taboo. There are a lot of benefits. But still, in the US, it's considered mostly taboo now, so I thought it weird that he mentioned it without hesitation. Also on the second date, I was helping him with his college homework when his family all got called together. They all sat around the living room while the adults all smoke marijuana. It was like a ritual. Then on the third date, he asked me to marry him. I said no. I don't remember his name. He looked like Eric Stoltz.

0points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago (edited)

It's still somewhat on the nose for cousins to marry in Australia too, though legal, but it didn't stop my parents :)

0points

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Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

I was 19 and was at work (a stock-girl at Target) in the late 80s. A middle Eastern guy in an expensive but out-of-style suite, accompanied by what looked like a body-guard or distant cousin, came up to me and said to me, "You will marry me". I said, "No, I will not." I then proceeding to ignore his existence. He went away. Very strange....

0points

misteriosa 5 years ago

Just got out of my house, on my way to meet some friends from school, when down the street a sweet old man stopped me, saying "Hello, can I please ask you something?" I said Of course, thinking he'd ask for some directions or such, when he started telling me how he comes from a family where they arrange marriages for children/grandchildren, and he basically noticed I was sweet, kind and polite and of good character, and he asked me if I would be interested that he talked to my family, and I marry his grandson... I stood there in shock, trying to process the information, and he went on with "Of course, we would arrange that you two meet and talk, but if you like each other, then you would be arranged for marriage". So yeah, that was a "no, thank you" :D Arranged marriages are rare now in my country, my two uncles had such marriages, but I'd rather shoot myself :D

0points

Anna Repp 5 years ago

I was just thinking the other day that I'm 42, divorced, with a teen kid, and I've never had anyone propose to me in the traditional way - on one knee and with a ring, in a romantic setting. My ex husband offhandedly said "so, I think we should go and get our marriage certificate this month, after I renew my driver's license," while we were on a train, riding to work together. We've been living together for a while by then, so I just said "Oh, OK." Another guy I dated "proposed" via Facebook messenger... Yet another guy went through a mock "wedding ceremony" with me at a drunken party, only to ask me later if I would marry him for real (we were not even dating :) I still hope I'll experience one real proposal before I die :D

0points

Mező Ádám 5 years ago

Many people love saying "dodging a bullet" or such,meh xD

0points

Burk Billin 5 years ago

Don't marry, be happy

0points

Flame Phoenix 5 years ago

When my mom was younger,a boy had a crush on her. One day when they were hanging out, the kid came over, bought a mood ring, like one of those cheap ones, and proposed. The worst part is, there was no dating involved. The guy just straight up asked if she would marry her. Safe to say he isn't my dad.

0points

boredhuman 5 years ago

I have a proposal story as well. So, I was dating this woman who is a realtor, who I bought a condo from. We went on like a couple of dates and we were really clicking. So a co-worker of mine organized a costume party so we went as a couple. I had an old Halloween costume with a mini-me made from paper-mâché on my shoulder and she went as a cheerleader. When we got there it turns out not to be a costume party but a Diwali celebration. So that's was kind of awkward. Fast forward to later that evening. At one moment I suddenly had the urge to propose to her, so I picked up the microphone and proposed to her in front of everybody. Se eventually said no and I had to ask another co-worker to take me home because she was my ride but she left after the proposal.

0points

Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

Did the sudden urge perhaps come after a few drinks?

1point

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facebook lottery 4 years ago

I want to tell everyone on this page that Dr Akpada brought back my lover within 48hours and you can reach Dr.Akpada on (akpadatemple02@yahoo.com) or whatssap +27732331494 So that you can also get your lover back within 48hours........///

-1point

POST

Doober 5 years ago

Some of these are kinda disturbing

27points

Elizabeth 5 years ago

Why do people try to propose or get pregnant to save a bad relationship?

19points

Daria B 5 years ago

Yeah, that's what I noticed too. Lots of guys trying to propose while she was being mad at them? Where did they get that from? Not even romantic comedies are like this anymore.

14points

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Serbob 5 years ago

14points

Carol Emory 5 years ago

8points

Phoebe Bean 5 years ago

Follow your instincts. Enough said.

7points

Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com 5 years ago

at least this post is making me feel a bit better about the fact that I'm less likely to get married than a dead pope

6points

roy clitton 2 years ago

0points

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Gracie Mae 5 years ago

4points

TC 5 years ago

3points

roy clitton 2 years ago

0points

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Thalia Lovering 5 years ago

His father was cheating on his mum but it was ok because "he bought her jewellery". That's a huge NO sign for me.

3points

Aroha 5 years ago

3points

roy clitton 2 years ago

0points

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Reilly Beryll 5 years ago

3points

Nikki D 5 years ago

Huge red flags! I think most girls have had a guy like this.

0points

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okpkpkp 5 years ago

2points

somnomania 5 years ago

2points

Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

I had no idea. That's shocking!

1point

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roy clitton 2 years ago

0points

Alaina Seibal 3 years ago

0points

Sophia Daily 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

0points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago (edited)

It's still somewhat on the nose for cousins to marry in Australia too, though legal, but it didn't stop my parents :)

0points

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Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

0points

misteriosa 5 years ago

0points

Anna Repp 5 years ago

0points

Mező Ádám 5 years ago

Many people love saying "dodging a bullet" or such,meh xD

0points

Burk Billin 5 years ago

Don't marry, be happy

0points

Flame Phoenix 5 years ago

0points

boredhuman 5 years ago

0points

Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

Did the sudden urge perhaps come after a few drinks?

1point

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facebook lottery 4 years ago

-1point

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30 People Explain Why They Said ‘No’ To A Marriage Proposal

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