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Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It
While scrolling through your news feed, there is a high chance of stumbling upon a picture of your friends eagerly waiting for their third child, and your former going-out bestie posting a double picture from her recent ultrasound. And whether you have children or you are still doubting if this is the right choice for you, there are people who have taken the choice of not having any kids. The little bundles of joy bringing light to their parents' everyday life sound like a nightmare for some, and what other more convenient way can we find out everyone’s opinion if not from the internet?
This time, Reddit’s well-seasoned community of 32.3M people of AskReddit fired out a question that many people probably find themselves thinking: “To those who NEVER want to have a child, what are your reasons?“ Below you can read a wide selection of answers and we are dying to know what you think.
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#2
I don't want kids.
There's literally no other reason.
#3
I love my life too much. I hate mess and noise. I love travelling whenever i like. I love going for trips and meals out with my husband. I love being able to do what i want whenever i want. I dont want to spend my days listening to crying, arguing, whining, doing the school run in the rain and shopping for food. The planet has plenty of humans and we have done a great job of wrecking the planet and treat animal so cruelly - i dont want to add to that problem.
#4
Imo, I should justify why I want kids instead of finding reasons why I don't want them.
In my case, I don't have a reason to want them.
lith 3 years ago
this! having children is such a huge HUGE thing, this will prob get some ppl mad but imo too many ppl have kids for the "wrong" reasons, by that i mean things like: they want to continue their legacy, they think they're cute, its expected, the one ive heard that i find the most frustrating is "i want to have that bond withy partner", i know this is just my opinion but i think ppl should have kids when they are ready to fully commit to caring and nurturing another human being, thats what should matter imo. also i feel like its concerning how many ppl would give others a hard time for not wanting children? its a massive responsibility & if someone says no to that i think thats showing they know whether thats something they can fully commit to & that should be a gooD thing. anyways nothing against em but ive never wanted kids lmao.
#5
I have never seen a person with children and thought to myself "i want that life"
#6
As the eldest sibling in my family, I’ve already lived out my maternal dreams.
Mental and chronic illness runs in my family and I can’t risk passing it along.
I don’t want to put my body through pregnancy.
It’s a lot of responsibility and I rather live for myself and all the other things I rather do in the world.
#7
This world is stupid, corrupt, full of a**holes. Why would I want to bring anyone into this mess?
#8
I was born this way. Have just never desired children. No particular reason.
#9
I'm too mentally unstable to provide a quality life for any potential kids
#11
I love peace and quiet.
#12
To sum it up:
- I like having my time and money to myself. Fancy sitting in bed late, drinking beer and ordering takeout? I can do that. Going out with friends at the drop of a hat with no worries? That too.
- My mental & physical health. Some issues are genetic in my family and I'd never wish that upon a child.
- This frankly isn't a world that I'd like to bring anybody into.
- I'm frankly quite selfish (I'd never, ever neglect a child however). I'd prefer the new clothes and games that I bought recently to a nappy / diaper bill.
I've just become an uncle so I totally understand how people can want a child, it's just mot for me personally.
#14
Bro I can barely handle a full-time job and taking care of a cat. I do not have the time, money, patience, or desire to raise a kid. I want to live my life, not be weighed down with a responsibility I don't want and wouldn't be beneficial for me. I like having the freedom to not have to deal with all that.
#15
You need a good reason to have a child. You don’t need one to not have one, just as you don’t need a reason not to have a f****** giraffe.
#16
Your vagina getting ripped during childbirth, 9 months in hell (pregnancy) but then childbirth and pregnancy arent even the hardest parts of parenthood. Staying up at night, getting little to to rest, changing smelly diapers, post-partum depression, physical and mental exhaustion, the financial strain of having a child, the unavoidable health damages of pregnancy. The list goes on.. seriously, what is there to like?!
#17
I understand the immense responsibility & sacrifice they are and choose instead to work on myself and continue to nurture my own experiences and growth through the one life I have.
#18
... I can barely take care of a cat. How do you think I would do with a child?
#19
I don’t want to go through birth, I don’t like the baby stage, children and toddlers are fun and can be adorable but not 24/7, I like money and the piece of mind that I won’t do anything to screw up their lives, everyone I have said I don’t want kids to will say I told you so
And finally I’m not responsible or mature enough.
#20
Since I am the oldest I call my experience “the free trial” and to make things short I don’t like it
#21
Our society is structured so that nearly everyone but the wealthy are living hand to mouth. I feel no security in my life and find life stressful. I can't imagine how bad that would be if I had to worry about another soul.
#22
Mental health - I have extreme anxiety and ADHD. I don’t want to have a kid and potentially put them through what I go through.
They’re expensive.
Pregnancy is terrifying to me. Never want to try it.
Spite. Got tired real quick always being told I’d be a great mother, even when I announced that I don’t like kids and never want any.
Mavis Garland 3 years ago
I hate to hear young people being hounded to have children. I Loved the joke about a young woman hearing "You're next" whenever she was at a wedding - so she began saying the same thing to people when she attended a funeral.
#23
I would make a terrible dad, great uncle but a terrible dad.
Zoe's Mom 3 years ago
Great Aunt here: I love being an aunt. Take them out, feed them, spoil them then take them home. My reasoning for not wanting children is that I was afraid that I would turn out to be my mother and that's not good. Plus, I didn't want to put my life on hold. I have my modest home, small savings and a comfortable life with my dog Zoe.
#24
Kids are expensive
I rather spend money on travel than children
I want to retire early
I only like children in small doses
I rather do drugs at Burning Man than raise a child. I don't want to be that guy who tries to do both.
There is no decent return policy on kids.
I really like my me-time.
Every time I see people with kids, I have an overwhelming feeling of dread.
I find people who have kids a little boring, to be honest. Not always, but I know that their rockstar days are now behind them.
I mean, I'm happy for people who want to have kids. I've also had friends confide in me that they wish the hadn't have had kids. This should be a "f*** yes, or no" decision.
#25
They're loud, expensive, annoying, boring, time consuming and needy.
#26
Too mentally ill from childhood trauma and have various auto immune diseases. Wouldn’t be fair to have a child when I’m not completely present for them.Love kids but not for me.
#27
As a male who never wanted a kid and now has one, I can say I still don't want one.
Don't get me wrong. My buddy is now my whole world and I would do anything for him. But i never wanted a kid and now I definitely wish I never had one.
All my free time I had is gone. I don't really care about the money. He can have it all and all my crap I collect too. He can have it. I just want my time back. Or some time. Any time. I can't remember the last time I've a whole movie from beginning to end. I can't remember the last time I've just laid around listening to music.
And when i do get time away from him I catch up on stuff that hasnt gotten done and I really dont enjoy the time. There's no such thing as me time anymore.
Cant wait until hes out of the house. Just 16 more years to go.
AzKhaleesi 3 years ago
it gets better. You're talking about a friggin TWO year old. My kids are early to late teens, and I get me time now all the time. Or you can make you time about you two time. Get him interested in music. Get him to watch a movie with you. My kids are huge music and movie buffs now. Because that's what I did with them.
#28
I'd rather live my life without being weighed down by a huge financial burden. Plus most kids I know are little s***
#29
I simply refuse to put a child into this world as it is,
I know too much about how ugly it truly is.
#30
I am selfish so I am not gonna sacrifice my time for them. I don't want to bring kids into this world if they can't be unconditionally loved.
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Children do need that. It's unfortunate so many parents are incapable of giving it.
#31
because i dont like children
i dont want to raise one for 18 years
id rather put that money into my dream car
#32
They s*** themselves and you have to change their diapers.
They’re expensive.
It’s the best thing you can do for the environment.
It’s a s**** world to raise a kid in. What if they were trans, disabled, gay, etc? I’d still love them but half the US population wants to deny them human rights.
They cry and b**** and require constant attention.
There’s so many reasons.
Jhm Mke 3 years ago
I remember as a young man that one of my grade school friends had an older brother who was cognitively disabled and needed lifelong support. Who would take care of his older brother, once his parents were not able to? It shaped me and I remember also hearing an interview about "The Population Explosion" a ~1970s book. All my life I worried about the risk of having a child who needed my help(for their entire life) and the risk of me dying and not being able to provide the necessary help? Also, how can the world we live in handle a constantly growing human population? The world population ~1970 was ~3.5 Billion and today the population is ~8 billion.... You do the math? https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/book-incited-worldwide-fear-overpopulation-180967499/
#33
The world is overpopulated and I don't want to spend the time and money required to care for raising a child.
Mickie Shea 3 years ago
Wait, some space in the lower right corner just opened up. Hurry do it.
#34
A friend told me once that I would probably be like the mom from Carrie and there's no f****** way I would condemn a child to such a miserable life.
Also, giving birth? F*** that
#35
I guess I don’t want my child to have an illness of some kind (Down syndrome, autism). Is it wrong to say I don’t want to have a child live like that?
What do you think ?
Batwench 3 years ago
Why should I give you a reason? This has been my response when being asked this question.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I wish I'd thought of that about 30 years ago. I was after 3 miscarriages and I was still asked when would I have kids. Well, NEVER, thanks. *sigh* In retrospect? I have faith it worked out for the best for me and my other loved ones.
Load More Replies...
lith 3 years ago
most the answers here are just proof that these people have thought about it and a lot of them actually CARE about how them having a child would affect said child (ex. mental health, genetics, financial responsibility, COMMITMENT) these are things that should be given more praise than they get imo especially when so many ppl make others feel weird for not wanting a kid
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
Why do you need to hear excuses? I don't want kids. Never did. I don't owe anyone a reason for that.
Load More Replies...
Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago
I finally turned 50 and people have stopped asking when I'm going to have kids. I am all of these reasons.
Batwench 3 years ago
Why should I give you a reason? This has been my response when being asked this question.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I wish I'd thought of that about 30 years ago. I was after 3 miscarriages and I was still asked when would I have kids. Well, NEVER, thanks. *sigh* In retrospect? I have faith it worked out for the best for me and my other loved ones.
Load More Replies... lith 3 years ago
most the answers here are just proof that these people have thought about it and a lot of them actually CARE about how them having a child would affect said child (ex. mental health, genetics, financial responsibility, COMMITMENT) these are things that should be given more praise than they get imo especially when so many ppl make others feel weird for not wanting a kid
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
Why do you need to hear excuses? I don't want kids. Never did. I don't owe anyone a reason for that.
Load More Replies... Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago
I finally turned 50 and people have stopped asking when I'm going to have kids. I am all of these reasons.
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