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Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It
While scrolling through your news feed, there is a high chance of stumbling upon a picture of your friends eagerly waiting for their third child, and your former going-out bestie posting a double picture from her recent ultrasound. And whether you have children or you are still doubting if this is the right choice for you, there are people who have taken the choice of not having any kids. The little bundles of joy bringing light to their parents' everyday life sound like a nightmare for some, and what other more convenient way can we find out everyone’s opinion if not from the internet?
This time, Reddit’s well-seasoned community of 32.3M people of AskReddit fired out a question that many people probably find themselves thinking: “To those who NEVER want to have a child, what are your reasons?“ Below you can read a wide selection of answers and we are dying to know what you think.
More info: Reddit
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#1
I enjoy money and silence
lenka 4 years ago
I miss having a tidy house. Thier clutter drives me crazy 😅
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Treessimontrees 4 years ago
If people were truly honest - I bet a ton of people would wind back the clock if they could and not have kids.
lenka 4 years ago
As a parent who wasnt ever sure they wanted kids, and as someone who also loves money and silence (and boy do I miss silence - I mean WAY more than I miss money), I dont think this is true. I think most parents have, at some stage in thier parenting journey, wondered "what the actual f#@$% have I done?" and I suspect most of them sometimes daydream about the life they might have had without children (I know I do. lol). But I dont think "a ton of them" would EVER wind back the clock and not have their children. After the one millionth "look at me!" my daughter finally managed a freestanding hand stand today and I shared in her triumph. At the end of a long and exhausting (and very loud) day my son climbed into my lap and said "Mummy, your hugs make my heart happy" and I would never ever want to remove those experiences from my life.
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lenka 4 years ago
My kids make noise. Lots of it. Singing and laughing and pretending is noisy. I desperately miss silence but I would never take thier joy away.
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Zophra 4 years ago
I saw a meme that cracked me up the other day. "My husband and I decided we do not want kids. We will be sitting them down to tell them tonight."
Id row 4 years ago
They're loud, messy and expensive. And when they grow up they blame you for everything wrong in their life while still holding their hand out. Why would anyone want to sign up for that?
RELATED:
#2
I don't want kids.
There's literally no other reason.
Bex 4 years ago
This, right here. This is all that needs to be said. We (those who have chosen to remain childless) shouldn't feel pressure to explain our choices. We shouldn't HAVE to explain our choices!! "Because I don't" is the ONLY answer that's needed!
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
This is mine. I just don’t. I could come up with other stuff but it’s just justification for me just not wanting kids.
Everything_Fubar 4 years ago
YESSSSSS. Best answer of all! No need to justify is with reasons. Simply not wanting any is the best reason.
#3
I love my life too much. I hate mess and noise. I love travelling whenever i like. I love going for trips and meals out with my husband. I love being able to do what i want whenever i want. I dont want to spend my days listening to crying, arguing, whining, doing the school run in the rain and shopping for food. The planet has plenty of humans and we have done a great job of wrecking the planet and treat animal so cruelly - i dont want to add to that problem.
John Baker 4 years ago
Roland, just go f**k yourself. Seriously. Do it now.
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KLo 4 years ago
We have the amazing power to procreate and also the choice not to. Some procreate and do a poor job of raising kids, or abandon them, or abuse them, or other atrocities against children. Those that choose not to procreate are lessening the burden of overpopulation too. This from a mother of two wonderful, well raised, educated, intelligent, kind, and respectful 16 year old boy and 18 year old boy. My husband of 22 years has been instrumental and is a role model for them.
#4
Imo, I should justify why I want kids instead of finding reasons why I don't want them.
In my case, I don't have a reason to want them.
lith 4 years ago
this! having children is such a huge HUGE thing, this will prob get some ppl mad but imo too many ppl have kids for the "wrong" reasons, by that i mean things like: they want to continue their legacy, they think they're cute, its expected, the one ive heard that i find the most frustrating is "i want to have that bond withy partner", i know this is just my opinion but i think ppl should have kids when they are ready to fully commit to caring and nurturing another human being, thats what should matter imo. also i feel like its concerning how many ppl would give others a hard time for not wanting children? its a massive responsibility & if someone says no to that i think thats showing they know whether thats something they can fully commit to & that should be a gooD thing. anyways nothing against em but ive never wanted kids lmao.
lith 4 years ago
also i just wanna say its so funny to me when someone finds out i dont want kids and their response is "but what if you change your mind??" then i shrug and say "i doubt it but even if i did i guess id just try to adopt" the response i usually get to that is "but adopting is so expensive!!" like....my dude.....having a kid is expensive regardless lmao
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Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
yep, I'm with you on this. I also hate when people ask are you having another, I'm happy at one thank you.
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago (edited)
People ask you about having kids. Answer: I don't want kids. What response from them ? That's a terrible thing to say. I've heard so many grandparents say that having grandchildren is much more enjoyable than having kids. If you've had just about enough, you get to give them back to their parents who are now experiencing the joys of parenthood. What goes around comes around. And then there's the line " It's different when their yours" Really? What would be the nightmare of finding that no, it's not?
Treessimontrees 4 years ago
Having a kid is the easiest thing ever for 99% of people. Having it be good for both parties is infinitely harder.
Suzanne Haigh 4 years ago
I wish many more people would think like this. Especially the over religious and the totally useless.
#5
I have never seen a person with children and thought to myself "i want that life"
Vicky Z 4 years ago
I was skeptical until i saw a dream of me being a mother! I woke up very stressed almost panicked and realised i don't want this life
Aroha 4 years ago
I have recurring dream where I am a mother of twins and I am frantically trying to give them away... Yeah psychoanalyse that :D!
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Ben Moss 4 years ago
I don’t know any couple with children who have any kind of sex life worth living.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Good call. Not a task to take on if you don't reallllly want to do it for .... decades.... --- my mom
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
Also heard this a lot, Yes some people don't want children, BUT I have had more than one friend say this until they meet the right person. Sometimes not wanting children is down to personal situations and the person they are with.
Aroha 4 years ago
Can be. But also it is very annoying, sometimes almost hurtful when some people keep repeating "wait till you meet him". First of all, I might never find a partner. And secondly, no.
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Holes2Heaven 4 years ago
That's because you've never had a child. Your whole center of gravity shifts and you would do absolutely anything for them. But, I am glad that people who don't want them don't have them, because the world has too many messed up kids who are unwanted as it is
#6
As the eldest sibling in my family, I’ve already lived out my maternal dreams.
Mental and chronic illness runs in my family and I can’t risk passing it along.
I don’t want to put my body through pregnancy.
It’s a lot of responsibility and I rather live for myself and all the other things I rather do in the world.
*me* 4 years ago
Exactly I’d rather go snorkeling in the Bahamas than watch curious George all day
DG 4 years ago
I could have written this one! Being the oldest I helped raise my younger sibling. There's a few genetic things that I could pass on and I really don't want to live all that s**t again. Don't want something growing inside me. And it's not something you can take back... Really don't want to have to deal with all that involves raising a child. But, my sibling wants to have kids and I'm very ok with being an aunt 😊
Ms LaDonna 4 years ago
Mental and chronic illness runs in my family and I can’t risk passing it along!!!
V33333P 4 years ago
Til I got a hysterectomy (best decision of my life so far) I had nightmares of being pregnant. It's like having a parasite in you sucking out your life force; it's CREEPY!
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Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
Dead on. Conscripted babysitter from the moment of my first siblings birth, no extracurricular in school or high school because the moment I got home, the paid babysitter left. Thanks, but once was enough.
KT 4 years ago
That's really lame your parents did that to you, they must have been really struggling financially
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#7
This world is stupid, corrupt, full of a**holes. Why would I want to bring anyone into this mess?
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
its a worry, but I also like to think my son will change one thing that will make the world a better place.
Tiny van Pouderoyen 4 years ago
My thoughts exactly since I was 8 y/o. I'm 59 now. No regrets.
#8
I was born this way. Have just never desired children. No particular reason.
SBW71 4 years ago
Same here. Knew at the age of 14 I didn't want any. I love kids and being around them....as long as they are not mine and I can give them back!
Vicky Z 4 years ago
And how many times you've heard since then, that you will change your mind?
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Pheebs 4 years ago
Same. Never did the dolly/child thing as a kid. My Barbies were all independent women who explored, joined the military, ran a business, etc. Probably would have had kids if I had married young simply out of expectation, but I never really wanted any. Never understood kids when I was one. I’d take my sib’s kids in a heartbeat if needed, and raise them to the best of my abilities, but I’ve never had the urge to pop any out.
SuperChicken 4 years ago
Exactly, this. Why do we have to give a reason or explain why we don't want to have children. Why can't people accept the fact that having children is NOT for everybody.
Susan Egan 4 years ago
I never thought about kids until I met my husband. We ended up adopting because we wanted kids and tossing money into infertility was not a guarantee. We were older, lots of partying behind us and life experiences. I would never judge someone for not wanting kids. The people I wonder about are the ones that have to procreate a copy, no matter how much it costs. Or have babies they don't care about. Spend some time in a school and you'll wonder why some people had kids at all. Just giving birth doesn't make you a parent.
Evripidou Maria 4 years ago
same here. Its not about money or anything else. I just don;t want kids
#9
I'm too mentally unstable to provide a quality life for any potential kids
Douglas Turner 4 years ago
I used to think this, until my therapist said that the very fact I could think this meant that I would be a better father. Okay, but I still don't want kids.
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Vicky Z 4 years ago
To be honest I always believed that people who think twice if they would be good parents, they would probably be! Cause it's not a spontaneous decision to make
Douglas Turner 4 years ago
Yep. One day my dad said to me that he and my mom never discussed having kids, nor how many. Just never talked about it, and then they went on to have three. I came away feeling that I was not something they wanted, just something they got. Like the flu or a free chicken at the gas station.
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Rannveig Ess 4 years ago
I admire this person's awareness of this. I have known so many people who have insane, unstable, problem kids who never had a chance because they themselves were immature, unstable, had addictions and problems yet are mystified as to why this happened. You can't raise healthy, happy kids when you have no idea what happy or healthy is, or need your energy to fight your own demons. It's a lot of work in itself and awesome if you know you need that energy to do so.
#10
I don’t have the patience to deal with them
*me* 4 years ago
Same they’re just so needy and dirty and annoying and they require lots of effort and I’m very impatient
Zeferina Paleo 4 years ago
I AM A KID! I am eight. Even though im not a parent, having little siblings is almost as bad...:(
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ERIN W. 4 years ago
YES I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE EITHER! Sometimes I'll hear the kids whining and crying and screaming clear across the store and lot of it is because they're not getting their way and I sarcastically say myself and the others that is why I decided to have children so I can listen to that, such a joy! I never married either!
Vicky Z 4 years ago
That's why you need to think twice! Needs a lot of patience and responsibility
Treessimontrees 4 years ago
It's like having a drunk friend around, all the time. How do you just fall off a chair you were sitting on fine for 30 minutes?
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
At least the drunk friend is an adult with a normal voice and some understanding of the world. It’s way way worse than a drunk friend. It’s a kid.
Load More Replies... Jazzy Mc. Jaz 4 years ago
I cant stand most kids between 5 and 11 they are so annoying. I am teenager and they have one stereotype but theirs 2 different types. Theirs nothing about people between 5 and 11.
Salma Hernández 4 years ago
This is me. Sometimes I think: Do I have the patience to taking care to a newborn baby? To wake up in nights every 3 hours? for giving the baby something to eat? No. that's why I decided no to have kids.
#11
I love peace and quiet.
Callista pierce 4 years ago
*says amen with this guy i don't know because yes*
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Mickie Shea 4 years ago
I thought most women had biological urges to have kids. Guess I was wrong.
Mark Hamilton 4 years ago
My dog is calm and quiet. I have enough maternal instinct for an (one) animal. liz
#12
To sum it up:
- I like having my time and money to myself. Fancy sitting in bed late, drinking beer and ordering takeout? I can do that. Going out with friends at the drop of a hat with no worries? That too.
- My mental & physical health. Some issues are genetic in my family and I'd never wish that upon a child.
- This frankly isn't a world that I'd like to bring anybody into.
- I'm frankly quite selfish (I'd never, ever neglect a child however). I'd prefer the new clothes and games that I bought recently to a nappy / diaper bill.
I've just become an uncle so I totally understand how people can want a child, it's just mot for me personally.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Unfortunately time is not yours anymore when you have kids and that's what I'm also thinking
Frankenfrog 4 years ago
Feel like Uncle here is excusing this waaaay to much. "I don't want to" is enough
Kt 4 years ago
Yeah but some people just will not accept that, so you find yourself coming up with loads of excuses.
Load More Replies... i'll sleep when im dead 4 years ago
Here are some good responses to 'Why don't you want to have kids?' 1. I promised my firstborn to a witch and I really don't want to make good on that. 2. First I must capture the Avatar to regain my honour. 2. (angrily) YOU SEE? This is just like that episode of Spongebob! *insert the plot of any episode of Spongebob in excruciating detail* 3. Kids? What do you mean? What are OH GOOD GRAVY WHAT IS THAT???? 4. I've heard they're... itchy. Like, as soon as you have them. Itchy. Everywhere.
Mavis Garland 4 years ago
You can always be a super Uncle or Aunt and treat children to a day out which provides fun for the children and relief for the parents. Borrow your friends or relatives children before you decide to have some of you own...
Ozzie Ogawa 4 years ago
An uncle here. Becoming an uncle can be very pleasing, joy from playing with your nephews & nieces but without (all) responsibilities (i still try to raise and educate them as much as i could). Being the last child in my family and having tons of nephews & nieces makes me taking it easy on having kids, i want to have kids when i'm fully ready.
Mickie Shea 4 years ago
Sure be making your relatives wipe the noses and asses while you guzzle the suds.
Linda H 4 years ago
The hubs and I are retired now and we can do and do do all those things you mentioned. It's fun and we like the freedom. But dang, sometimes I long for the days when I was a young mom trying to figure out how I'd get everything done in the day. There is a great joy in being a parent. I don't judge anyone that chooses not to have kids. I never bring it up, it's not my business and I respect that. Just saying though, I miss those days. Best chunk of my life.
#13
Climate change. Over population.
Simzabandz 4 years ago
covid is one of the huge playing factors to decrease world population and I might be hated for this but its doing a great job so far.. our animals dont have land anymore and you ask yourself what is the next generation of humans going to experience? Only humans? We need to raise individuals that will take care of the world tomorrow, like my son, but not bringing anymore people into it till we've fixed it might be a huge benefactor to people changing their minds about having kids. It pains to see people not wanting to have children becvause of people's doings. I hope we all heal the world.
Nic Dudley 4 years ago
Over Population - my number one reason. The human race will be okay if I don't add to the almost 8 billion human count.
Andrew Gibb 4 years ago
Population is the main cause of many of the problems on this finite planet. If we don't cut back on population we can only expect the planet to do it for us.
Jazzy Mc. Jaz 4 years ago
cannibalism would solve world hunger and over population... you know I'm right even though this thought is bizarre and uncivil.
Chicago Dog Lover 4 years ago
All the reducing, reusing, and recycling in the world will not make the difference that reducing the population would. (Of course that isn't am excuse for not doing them!)
s. vitkovitsky 4 years ago
If all the people in the world lived in the density that they do in Manhattan, they would all fit into (ready for it?) New Zealand.
Healing Moon Breezes 4 years ago
that isn't a valid reason. Over pop is a lie. Climate change whatever.
#14
Bro I can barely handle a full-time job and taking care of a cat. I do not have the time, money, patience, or desire to raise a kid. I want to live my life, not be weighed down with a responsibility I don't want and wouldn't be beneficial for me. I like having the freedom to not have to deal with all that.
Karl Baxter 4 years ago
I reckon some people are more predisposed by temperament to being parents than others and there’s an element of mutual incomprehension when these two groups look at each other.
Mavis Garland 4 years ago
Good answer: As too many people have children because they are pressured by their families and friends. It does not help a child if you do not have the time to give them the attention they want and need.
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
Yeah same. I would rather work long hours and make a lot of money and spend that money on myself and my loved ones. Not some annoying kid that doesn’t even exist.
Holes2Heaven 4 years ago
You should get a vasectomy, that way you can't accidentally have a kid and screw them up
Analyn Lahr 4 years ago
Children require a certain level of mental and physical energy that I just don't have.
#15
You need a good reason to have a child. You don’t need one to not have one, just as you don’t need a reason not to have a f****** giraffe.
Mavis Garland 4 years ago
I agree - People should have to answer questions as to the reason they want a child, the same as WHY they wish to marry. It would makes their lives so much easier if things were thought out before they jumped into situations.
Wilf 4 years ago
Absolutely- we live in a society where somehow people without children need to justify their choice, while we blindly accept that everyone should have kids without asking them why they think they would be any good at being parents. Hence lots of kids brought into the world by people utterly incapable of giving them the lives they deserve. We should start flipping the question- you want kids? WHY?
Chicago Dog Lover 4 years ago
Well, giraffes are endangered, so it I could have one I'd feel some responsibility to so so!
#16
Your vagina getting ripped during childbirth, 9 months in hell (pregnancy) but then childbirth and pregnancy arent even the hardest parts of parenthood. Staying up at night, getting little to to rest, changing smelly diapers, post-partum depression, physical and mental exhaustion, the financial strain of having a child, the unavoidable health damages of pregnancy. The list goes on.. seriously, what is there to like?!
Brian Michael 4 years ago
I will stress first that everyone can and should choose their own path and either path is a fine choice for each individual, if you don't write that first you get yelled at in comments! That being said I was anti baby but my wife and I had an oops baby. She is 1 right now and it hurts and I mean physically hurts when we aren't near her. The love of a child is so unconditional it's scary and something you will only want to protect. I will say when people who don't want kids state why they love not having kids and say why would I want to bring one in? Because if I didn't than she would not get a chance to love life as much as all you say you do! I want her to have the chance to enjoy life with all its ups and downs, that's the thing I enjoy the most.
Mushroomlover 4 years ago
That’s not the case for all pregnancies though. Both of mine were great, babies flew right out and my vagina didn’t tear or get cut at all. Walked out of the hospital wearing my clothes and still rock a bikini 12 years after the last one! I have zero health damages and only a few stretch marks on the tops of my thighs! I know my situation isn’t the norm but just wanted people to know that they aren’t all bad!
Nhaundar 4 years ago
You never know what happens to yourself if you birth a child. It can go as 'smooth' as you had it, but there is nor guarantee, and surley there is no way back.
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Zedrapazia 4 years ago
Exactly my thoughts! I have an extreme phobia of getting pregnant, a fetus is a mere parasite to me, and I'd never in a million years would let one make my body and life it's home.
Hayley Futter 4 years ago
Same here, I actually get grossed out seeing bare really pregnant bellies as well. Like it legitimately grosses and stresses me out.
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Lolabean 4 years ago
I have a 5 week old baby. I hated every second of pregnancy, I was sick the whole 9 months and had severe hip & pelvic pain so I could barely walk. I've been left with sciatica too. I had third degree tearing requiring many stitches and lost just under 2 litres of blood. I would still do it again as for ME the end result is worth it. But not everyone feels that way and I totally get that. I've always known I wanted to be a mum, and there are plenty of people out there that have always known they don't. No one should be judged for their choices. It's much better that people that don't want kids don't have them. They'll resent that child and that's no life for either of them.
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
Here it is. Why would I wreck my body just to have a huge expense that actually gives me zero gain? I’m way way more important to myself than that.
Jack Urquhart 4 years ago
and the screaming. The endless screaming. It drives me nuts in the grocery store, and why would I want that in my HOME?
Connie R. 4 years ago
I guess you will never know...and there's no way I can possibly explain it to you. I only have one child but I can tell you I'm so happy I had her. She's all grown up now with a family of her own but I will always love her...unconditionally! We are all entitled to live our own lives as we choose. I'm just so glad I decided to add another life into mine.
lenka 4 years ago (edited)
I had two children. One of which was a traumatic birth which has left me with life long health complications. This is actually quite common though rarely discussed in public spaces. The risks and sacrifices made by women to carry and birth a child are very real. You are absolutely entitled to have your opinion, but it did not address any of the matters raised in the post other than to say you are glad you created a life. And honestly, good for you! I am glad I created a life too. But I am also going to be honest and say it has been a challenge, physically and emotionally, and people who choose not to have children, for whatever reason, have exercised a valid choice.
Load More Replies... #17
I understand the immense responsibility & sacrifice they are and choose instead to work on myself and continue to nurture my own experiences and growth through the one life I have.
elStiJneriNO 4 years ago
Well if i would have 2 lifes i might do one without kids. But i only got 1 life so i m taking them in this one. Having 1 limited life is how the whole kids thing makes sense
#18
... I can barely take care of a cat. How do you think I would do with a child?
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
Or, there's this. You are so good at taking care of your pets. You'd make a great mom. ?????? There's an infinite difference between caring for a child and caring for an animal. First of all, the level of responsibility for a child is far far greater than for an animal! And besides, I enjoy animals. Kids? Not so much.
Mavis Garland 4 years ago
Ha, ha, some cats do love to shred the toilet paper rolls and get into all kinds of mischief, but they are entertaining.
LeilaOdinis 4 years ago
I never had kids due to a myriad of health issues, but my mother wanted grandkids. I didn't want them. My fur kids have four feet. I am good with that.
Lisa Chambers 4 years ago
Aside from being able to ignore the cat for a little while, they are basically the same.
Baali Venomax 4 years ago
Cats are cuter and easier to take care of anyway. And infinitely more adorable.
#19
I don’t want to go through birth, I don’t like the baby stage, children and toddlers are fun and can be adorable but not 24/7, I like money and the piece of mind that I won’t do anything to screw up their lives, everyone I have said I don’t want kids to will say I told you so
And finally I’m not responsible or mature enough.
Jaded Queen 4 years ago
I only play with babies when they r being cute. Then I just hand them over. Not my baby , not my problem
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Leodavinci 4 years ago
You sound responsible and mature to me. I once heard someone say "not wanting to have kids was irresponsible and immature". Their argument was that not taking on a responsibility was irresponsible and a sign of immaturity. I argued back that it was having kids and not taking proper care of them that was irresponsible, and that not wanting kids was a mature, responsible decision... and the motivation for that decision was irrelevant to whether it was mature and responsible or not... unlike the decision that many make to have children.
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
Birth! That should be higher. Why would I ruin my body and vagina just to have a huge huge burden? And possibly die. Not a good decision in my opinion.
Susan Egan 4 years ago
I don't want to change anyone's mind I think not having kids is smart. I do want to tell you, I didn't and still don't like anyone's kids but my own. Some of them are cute to look at, even adorable. I don't want to hold them or feed them etc. MY kids? We adopted our daughter at 7 mos. Our son was 6 days. Everything was worth it. I held our son every night so he wouldn't scratch his eczema until he fell asleep. I had to stop when my husband couldn't carry him to bed any more. I caught stuff bare handed exploding out of my kids bodies without a thought. I'd gag at the sight of you doing that with your kid. It's really different when they are yours. People say it, because it is true. I'm not a baby person never was. It only changed for ours.
#20
Since I am the oldest I call my experience “the free trial” and to make things short I don’t like it
Mickie Shea 4 years ago
How proud dad is and happy is mom. Two fine lads they have. One so suspicious and the other half like his sibling and half like his mom. In a few years, there will be more.
Mark Hamilton 4 years ago
I was the babysitter to three younger sibs. One constantly followed and spat on me. My maternal unit said this was my problem, deal with it. I did. liz
#21
Our society is structured so that nearly everyone but the wealthy are living hand to mouth. I feel no security in my life and find life stressful. I can't imagine how bad that would be if I had to worry about another soul.
#22
Mental health - I have extreme anxiety and ADHD. I don’t want to have a kid and potentially put them through what I go through.
They’re expensive.
Pregnancy is terrifying to me. Never want to try it.
Spite. Got tired real quick always being told I’d be a great mother, even when I announced that I don’t like kids and never want any.
Mavis Garland 4 years ago
I hate to hear young people being hounded to have children. I Loved the joke about a young woman hearing "You're next" whenever she was at a wedding - so she began saying the same thing to people when she attended a funeral.
Liam Walsh 4 years ago
I've seen what being a child of a mentally unwell parent can do - it wasn't fun for the child at all.
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Nubis Knight 4 years ago
I think you'd be a great mother if you had children - but just because of this fact you don't have to have children! I'm sure I'd be a good Manager, but I'm lucky with my small teachers job. Just because we may be good in something doesn't mean we have to aim for it! I don't have kids myself: Never found the right guy and didn't want to have children if I'm not sure the relationship would last. Children aren't there just for my selfconfidence.
Crazy Dog Lady 4 years ago
As a person with adhd I can completely agree. I have step children (who I love and adore) but can't imagine what a challenge it would be for me to take on. I mange my adhd well but I think birthing and being responsible for a baby/toddler would break me. People always tell me they think I manage my adhd wonderfully but that's what it looks like from the outside. It takes so much internal work to make me functional and thats without a baby.
Simzabandz 4 years ago
This is how it was suppose to go down them: "you'd be a great mother..." You: "But I dont hav any kids, how you know that, are you a God?" them: "no but its because...." "it doesnt matter what you say! dont judge me based on how I take care of your children"
Leesa DeAndrea 4 years ago
I don't dislike children. But I have never been interested in them.
#23
I would make a terrible dad, great uncle but a terrible dad.
Zoe's Mom 4 years ago
Great Aunt here: I love being an aunt. Take them out, feed them, spoil them then take them home. My reasoning for not wanting children is that I was afraid that I would turn out to be my mother and that's not good. Plus, I didn't want to put my life on hold. I have my modest home, small savings and a comfortable life with my dog Zoe.
Frankenfrog 4 years ago
I don't love being an aunt. I'm bored to shits with all the boring ass things children want to do. The role was forced upon me, I didn't ask for it. So naturally I've withdrawn from it.
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
It’s good to hear someone say that. Lots of people try to apologize for not wanting to be a parent by saying they’re a good aunt or uncle. I’m with you. I have no interest in kids at all, no matter my role.
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
I get that. Same with my nephew. Terrible mother. Wonderful aunt.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I'm a good godmother and aunt. No idea what I'd have been as a mother.
#24
Kids are expensive
I rather spend money on travel than children
I want to retire early
I only like children in small doses
I rather do drugs at Burning Man than raise a child. I don't want to be that guy who tries to do both.
There is no decent return policy on kids.
I really like my me-time.
Every time I see people with kids, I have an overwhelming feeling of dread.
I find people who have kids a little boring, to be honest. Not always, but I know that their rockstar days are now behind them.
I mean, I'm happy for people who want to have kids. I've also had friends confide in me that they wish the hadn't have had kids. This should be a "f*** yes, or no" decision.
SBW71 4 years ago
I agree 100%. Seems once your friends have kids you no longer have anything in common anymore with them and the friendship slowly dies
DG 4 years ago
I don't agree with you! I have friends with kids and friends without. I still get along fine with both. Of course my friends with kids have less free time to hang out, and sometimes they have to bring the kids, but they still cherish our friendship and make an effort. I'd say it really depends on the person.. I've seen less of my friends because of covid, but as soon as we could be together my friends with kids were the first ones to make plans with me
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vogonpoet 4 years ago
It's true, I've checked. There is no decent return policy. At family planning (to sort out the fact I wanted my tubes tied because I've had issues with other birth control methods) there was this big returns bin. My partner asked if they had many folk using that. The funny side was missed by the staff there.
Mavis Garland 4 years ago
Once you commit to being a parent - there is no going back - and you care and worry about them the rest of your life.
Dariusz M. D. 4 years ago
'Every time I see people with kids, I have an overwhelming feeling of dread' Yes !!!
Robert Robi Z 4 years ago
Finding people with kids boring... I hear you! They cannot talk about anything else but kids, how wonderful their kids are, how wonderful other people's kids are, befriending other people with kids as soon they have their own... Bye.
#25
They're loud, expensive, annoying, boring, time consuming and needy.
Kathleen Pinney 4 years ago
Boring -- I so agree. I'd rather get a kitten.
Load More Replies... Simzabandz 4 years ago
loud, expensive, annoying, not boring, time consuming and needy.. couldn't have asked for a better experience lol sorry guys but fatherhood is great! Yes I didnt plan for my son, but it wasnt an accident and definitely wasnt a mistake but the best gift I've had in my entire existence. before my son, drugs, alcohol, brokeness, womanising and being a complete cake was my way to the rats dungeon and soon he came, my life has been better.
#26
Too mentally ill from childhood trauma and have various auto immune diseases. Wouldn’t be fair to have a child when I’m not completely present for them.Love kids but not for me.
Simzabandz 4 years ago
my wife has no parents, traumatic childhood, step mom from hell (though changed for the better thanks to my child) and you know what, she is a billion times better as a mom than as an individual she used to be before so sometimes, reflect on how much you'd want to better another's experience due to your trauma. I empathise with you. Please heal..
Kt 4 years ago
This is patronising as f**k. Just because your wife is 'a better person' doesnt mean everyone else would be. I applaud this person for not having kids 'just because' and for recognising that they need to focus on themselves and not kids.
Load More Replies... Rannveig Ess 4 years ago
YES. I would die every day if I had a child that had the immune disease I had, and I had to watch them go though the things i go though.
#27
As a male who never wanted a kid and now has one, I can say I still don't want one.
Don't get me wrong. My buddy is now my whole world and I would do anything for him. But i never wanted a kid and now I definitely wish I never had one.
All my free time I had is gone. I don't really care about the money. He can have it all and all my crap I collect too. He can have it. I just want my time back. Or some time. Any time. I can't remember the last time I've a whole movie from beginning to end. I can't remember the last time I've just laid around listening to music.
And when i do get time away from him I catch up on stuff that hasnt gotten done and I really dont enjoy the time. There's no such thing as me time anymore.
Cant wait until hes out of the house. Just 16 more years to go.
AzKhaleesi 4 years ago
it gets better. You're talking about a friggin TWO year old. My kids are early to late teens, and I get me time now all the time. Or you can make you time about you two time. Get him interested in music. Get him to watch a movie with you. My kids are huge music and movie buffs now. Because that's what I did with them.
Frankenfrog 4 years ago
Don't patronize him like that. People actually do regret having had children and it wrecks their lives.
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K Witmer 4 years ago
Damn people give this guy a hard time. It's ok to mourn who you once were especially if you already had a full and rich life that doesnt mean you don't love your kids. I was 30 when I had my first and I had a whole life I loved friends I loved a body I loved. After I lost most of those friends had extreme post natal anxiety constant mom guilt thinking I was doing a horrible job mom shamed for not breast feeding bc I couldn't my milk didn't come in felt worthless for a long time add to that never sleeping my weight never being the same again I felt so guilty for wanting to feel like I did before I had my child.I love her w all my heart but people sometimes under estimate how hard it is
K Witmer 4 years ago
Also had to quit my job I loved and bartend at night instead bc I couldn't bear the thought of her going to daycare
Load More Replies... lenka 4 years ago
This is a hard one. You are currently on the phase I affectionately refer to as "the dark dark days" when even taking a s*** it not sacred. This just highlights how hard it is to raise children and it should be shared because we need to stop romanticing parenting. It's hard work. As a parent I can say it is rewarding and I would never undo having children and I do NOT regret it, but honestly alot of it sucks. And yes, after "the dark dark days" it does get a little easier, but we need to stop pretending that parenting is all sunshine and rainbows.
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 4 years ago
Once they get to pre teens, you can bribe them to be quiet. Or have them watch a movie with you. Once they get bigger it’ll get a little easier. (Speaking entirely from experience with siblings, not a real parent)
tiari 4 years ago (edited)
Watching a movie with my 11 yo step son is worse than watching no movie at all. He is constantly moving around, he likes to talk about what happens on screen, he has to go pee so we have to pause, he distributes crumbs everywhere so no snacks, he needs the synchronized versions of movies so no original sound, and so on.
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Mushroomlover 4 years ago
I would totally watch your kid for you to give you some me time if I was able. I, as well as, a lot of people I know had family who would watch the kids (a couple times a month, a weekend, etc) to give us a break because they understood that mental health and me time is important. Hopefully you find someone you trust to help you out with this sometime. Wishing you the best!
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
I watched my two friends go through that. I'd have jumped long ago!
Susan Egan 4 years ago
If you are a DIY person, start having him spend time with you ASAP. I grew up as my dads gofer. Now, as a woman, I can repair and fix things most of the men I know wouldn't attempt. I don't know how my father felt about kids but he had two daughters. He'd explain what he was doing, what he was hoping for and many time how he was going to have to make something to get it done (pre internet and easy shopping). I am forever grateful.
Lisa Chambers 4 years ago
How I felt before I had kids will never be uttered in any way. I never want my children to think for one second that they are unwanted. I didn't plan on them but wow how much better my life is with them!
#28
I'd rather live my life without being weighed down by a huge financial burden. Plus most kids I know are little s***
Kt 4 years ago
'It's different when it's your own' Umm because i'm the not allowed to openly tell everyine theyre little shits?!
Load More Replies... #29
I simply refuse to put a child into this world as it is,
I know too much about how ugly it truly is.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
This is upsetting, yes awful things are happening in the world, but wonderful things are also happening. I feel this poster is in a dark place.
#30
I am selfish so I am not gonna sacrifice my time for them. I don't want to bring kids into this world if they can't be unconditionally loved.
Leodavinci 4 years ago
Children do need that. It's unfortunate so many parents are incapable of giving it.
Kt 4 years ago
But fortunate that more and more people seem to be recignising this before they start popping them out
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Susan Missett-King 4 years ago
That is not selfish at all! You know yourself and you're making the smart decision for you.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
I agree not everyone is equipped to be a parent, and unfortunately far to many children end up in care.
Kelly Von Tee 4 years ago
It's not selfish if you acknowledge you're not capable of the unconditional love aspect. It's just being self-aware and making good choices.
MsKestrela 4 years ago
That was my reason. I knew myself too well. I'm 65 now, and no regrets!
#31
because i dont like children
i dont want to raise one for 18 years
id rather put that money into my dream car
Leodavinci 4 years ago
With all of what it takes to raise a child, one could afford more than one dream car.
John Baker 4 years ago
For what it costs to raise a kid from birth to 18 these days, you could buy a dozen Ferraris. ;-)
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
Just bought my 1st non-Craigslist car. Not having kids paid for it, 100%
The Coated Dev 4 years ago
Good for you you're going to get an epic car, but wouldn't you rather put that money into like a house or travelling?
Qwerteee8 4 years ago
no, a nice car is better then any home or vacation.
Load More Replies... Analyn Lahr 4 years ago
Also not every family can afford to have their kid leave at 18. Not everyone goes to college, not everyone gets a job in high school. And these days it's less expensive to still live with your parent(s).
Lily Mae Kitty 4 years ago
I am glad this person knows he doesn't want children and truly hope he's using really good protection. I just don't like these sorts of people. "Dream Car" people. It's a freaking car. Soooo many men tie their self worth to cars it's sad. How many profile pics show fancy cars...often not their own fancy cars. Somehow many men think a nice car makes their peen bigger.
Qwerteee8 4 years ago
hello! that person here, i dont want children because i dont have the time, patience, and money. I dont want the car to show off, hell if i get my dream car it will probably be a waste of space, i dont want to risk getting it keyed. Im anonymous online so showing it off is the least of your my concern.
Load More Replies... #32
They s*** themselves and you have to change their diapers.
They’re expensive.
It’s the best thing you can do for the environment.
It’s a s**** world to raise a kid in. What if they were trans, disabled, gay, etc? I’d still love them but half the US population wants to deny them human rights.
They cry and b**** and require constant attention.
There’s so many reasons.
Jhm Mke 4 years ago
I remember as a young man that one of my grade school friends had an older brother who was cognitively disabled and needed lifelong support. Who would take care of his older brother, once his parents were not able to? It shaped me and I remember also hearing an interview about "The Population Explosion" a ~1970s book. All my life I worried about the risk of having a child who needed my help(for their entire life) and the risk of me dying and not being able to provide the necessary help? Also, how can the world we live in handle a constantly growing human population? The world population ~1970 was ~3.5 Billion and today the population is ~8 billion.... You do the math? https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/book-incited-worldwide-fear-overpopulation-180967499/
Susan Egan 4 years ago
I object! If they are trans, disabled, gay, etc. you work on changing things. Our friends with a disabled son have created a plan for if, and when, they pass it's all in their will and all the kids know what should be done. They do not want him to become the financial responsibility of his siblings. That's being a parent/adult. Trans, gay You become their support and advocate. Our kids are different ethnicities. We moved to a diverse community. We stay on top of issues related to minorities. We talk, a lot, openly to everyone and support politicians that support our kids. If you don't want to have kids, honestly that's fine. I support you. These issues you mention are things I hope, even if you never have kids you are doing your best to help change.
Simzabandz 4 years ago
you s*** yourself once in a lifetime, how you think your parents felt about you?
Dre Mosley 4 years ago
Parenthood is simply a responsibility that I've never had an interest in taking on. Don't hate kids, I simply never wanted to be responsible for raising any.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
I feel this is more about the hatred for the country that you live in. I get that, being "different" is hard on anyone, however its sometimes these differences in people that are the push to bring about change. Again children can be expensive, but I admit I am a fugal person, we have hand me down clothing and second hand gifts, my son thankfully isn't into all the branded stuff, but even if he was he wouldn't get it. In fact being like this has helped develop him in to a money savey boy at 8. He sells his own toys he has grown out off so he can save money or buy new things. He passes his wearable cloths on to others and we donate to the rag bin with the others. He is incredibly environmentally awear and has even started a litter campaign at his school which the teachers are in full support of. As you can tell I am so proud of him, and this in itself is the best feeling anyone could ever have.
i'll sleep when im dead 4 years ago
I bet you are so proud of your boy! <3 <3 <3 You're raising a great man there!
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
With respect, I will. That question is annoying to those of us who don't/can't have kids. Like kids are jsut a retirement plan?
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#33
The world is overpopulated and I don't want to spend the time and money required to care for raising a child.
Mickie Shea 4 years ago
Wait, some space in the lower right corner just opened up. Hurry do it.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
The world is overpopulated, but this is more down to people living longer. Saying that I don't understand the reason why some parents have 5+ children.
Johanne Trudeau 4 years ago
The world is overpopulated, yes, but don't use that as an excuse for not wanting kids. You just don't want them, own it, no excuses...
#34
A friend told me once that I would probably be like the mom from Carrie and there's no f****** way I would condemn a child to such a miserable life.
Also, giving birth? F*** that
#35
I guess I don’t want my child to have an illness of some kind (Down syndrome, autism). Is it wrong to say I don’t want to have a child live like that?
Kathryn Jackson 4 years ago
As someone who is actually is autistic and knows first hand how badly disabled people are treated in our society, I would absolutely not want to have a disabled child. Disability isn't the problem, society is. But until society learns to value us as actual human beings, I would not want a child to go through what I've been through, and I am considered "high functioning".
Rens 4 years ago
Both my daughter and I have Autism/Asperger's, and are high functioning. She was not a very difficult child to raise is like it's like she was born at the age of 35. A lot of my mental health issues stem from my childhood neglect and undiagnosed autism. I'm glad I only had one child and I'm very proud of her. If I had known I had autism before she was born, would I have had a child? I don't know. I never felt broody, but I was very happy when I found out I was pregnant. The pregnancy was ok the birth was awful but I was absolutely besotted her. I do think people should put a lot more thought into planning a family. If I were young enough to have children now, I would choose not to because this world is just not the right place to raise a kid anymore. I think women and men should be able to take responsibility for their bodies and should be allowed to be sterilised if that is their choice.
Krzysztof Ziętek 4 years ago
Autistic people prefer to use identity-first language because one cannot have autism. One can only BE AUTISTIC. Also high- and low-functioning are ableist labels. So-called functioning is always a variable factor. Also, a particular person can be 'high-functionng' in one aspect of their life but at the same time, they might be dependent in some other aspect/s. Lastly, Asperger was a nazi f**k, who wanted to 'cure' autism with eugenics, that's why we do not want to be associated with this man in any way.
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Terri Zagst 4 years ago
Not wrong at all, I used to work for Medicaid which a lot of disabled people are on and one thing that most people don't know or talk about is what happens to them when the care giver passes away. If there is no backup most go into nursing homes and live there for the rest of their lives. It's a very sad the amount of authorizations I did for that.
Aroha 4 years ago
My aunt caught a virus when she was pregnant. Now she has been a full time carer to my cousin for 40 years. My cousin cannot talk or move. He has two moods, happy or angry, and most of the time unfortunately he feels angry. He has to be fed, changed, all that multiple times a day. My aunt is a saint. But it is the most difficult thing you can imagine. And there is no hope for improvement. It is ok to say she wishes this would not have happened.
E Bytes 4 years ago
As a child who has Autism, I understand. Although I’m high functioning, my Mom worries about me a lot more than my other siblings due to my mental health and difficulties with the “real world”. It’s one of the reasons I do not want to be a mother as well because I know I would not be capable enough to handle one. I don’t want to pass my disabilities/illnesses onto another human being and pray they get the “lucky” end of the draw and are also high functioning. Not to mention the economy, over-population, pollution/climate change.. The world is not okay enough for children, in my opinion.
Bruce Nielsen 4 years ago
I was born with a disability - quite mild all things considered, but I couldn't do sport or run at all. The kids at my school(s) were merciless, and the abuse was pretty much constant. I spent a lot of my formative years in and out of hospital, and I recall the kindest insult being hurled my way was: Mutant. (prefix that with expletives). I had kids (accidentally) and I've warned them of the recessive gene which I have unfortunately passed on to them. Given a choice, I would rather abstain from having kids, now that I know what it's like to grow up different.
Cindy Segal 4 years ago
Yes it is wrong to say that. Disabled people are not less than other people.
Hypogryff4 4 years ago
not wrong. I respect the people who help their kid so much. I don't think anyone wants to know there is something wrong with their creation that they made. Totally understandable
#36
I don't want to pass any of the emotional damage in my brain down to anyone else.
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
It's difficult when you realize that sometimes the only way to break the cycle is to do exactly that.
rabbitsrabbit 4 years ago
Relatable. If you feel reluctant to make sacrifices (eg money, time, interest, lifestyle, etc) you would be happier not having kids.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
Another who seems to be living in their own darkness, mental wellbeing is important for everyone. I feel for these posters.
#37
I'm aromantic and self-centered. I would make a terrible partner and a lousy parent.
Joanne Hudson 4 years ago
a person who has no interest in or desire for romantic relationships:
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Mavis Garland 4 years ago
Everyone should realize their weaknesses and strenghts. And stick to their resolves.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Batwench 4 years ago
Why should I give you a reason? This has been my response when being asked this question.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I wish I'd thought of that about 30 years ago. I was after 3 miscarriages and I was still asked when would I have kids. Well, NEVER, thanks. *sigh* In retrospect? I have faith it worked out for the best for me and my other loved ones.
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lith 4 years ago
most the answers here are just proof that these people have thought about it and a lot of them actually CARE about how them having a child would affect said child (ex. mental health, genetics, financial responsibility, COMMITMENT) these are things that should be given more praise than they get imo especially when so many ppl make others feel weird for not wanting a kid
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
Why do you need to hear excuses? I don't want kids. Never did. I don't owe anyone a reason for that.
Load More Replies... Bettie-Jean Neal 4 years ago
I finally turned 50 and people have stopped asking when I'm going to have kids. I am all of these reasons.
ZombieGirl 4 years ago
I'm too selfish to have children. I like spending money on myself and would be miserable if I had to suddenly put all that money towards someone else...and all my time and attention. Plus, there are enough people in this world...enough kids in the system. Also, I'd never forgive myself if I passed on my depression and anxiety to my kid
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Could we stop this lunacy? People have reasons to have kids and people have reasons to not have them. Let's not make this into some kind of cult. Whatever your choice is, it's OK. No need to give reasons or justifications and no reason to blame people for having or not having them. Last time I looked there's absolutely no reason for anyone to justify themselves.
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
Having kids is still the norm. Not wanting them is seen as weird, wrong, bad and people always ask for justification. It’s good to spend a lot of attention to the option to not have children, so it becomes normal and people stop blaming people or shaming them for not having them.
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Mark Fuller 4 years ago
1. We're gay - and the world still bullies kids with two Dad's. Sad, but my priority is the child, not my compulsion to be a father. 2. I'm barely mature enough to look after myself, let alone having a dependant. FYI, I'm nearly 40. 3. Money always feels tight, the cost of kids is scary. 4. Whenever I hear them scream (happy or sad) I want to rip their larynx out. 5. As unattractive as it is, I like looking after number one - drink more than I should, go to a restaurant with no planning, enjoy holidays that I want to go on... living life as I please. 6. Really not sure I want to bring them into this world...
Jeannie Bristow 4 years ago
No one who doesn't want to be a parent should have to be one. The only answer needed for why someone does not want a child (besides "mind your f-ing business") is "because."
Fairsher 4 years ago
I have 3 adult children and I wanted them. What I hate is people who have kids and didn't want any, they have them for their partner and it doesn't work. Far too much child abuse in the world by people who didn't want kids, ended up with one and cannot handle it. I never push my kids to have children, it is totally up to them and their partner, not me. We need people who don't want children, far too many children born and not wanted as it is.
Deborah B 4 years ago
Because I look at my life, and my budget, and mental and physical health, and ask is there room for a child here? And there's not. It's not just being selfish, though I am, or enjoying my me-time, though I do. I do not have the capacity, emotionally, physically, or financially, to take responsibility for another person. If you aren't committed, and aren't confidant you can do it well, don't make a baby.
Batwench 4 years ago
Why should I give you a reason? This has been my response when being asked this question.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I wish I'd thought of that about 30 years ago. I was after 3 miscarriages and I was still asked when would I have kids. Well, NEVER, thanks. *sigh* In retrospect? I have faith it worked out for the best for me and my other loved ones.
Load More Replies... lith 4 years ago
most the answers here are just proof that these people have thought about it and a lot of them actually CARE about how them having a child would affect said child (ex. mental health, genetics, financial responsibility, COMMITMENT) these are things that should be given more praise than they get imo especially when so many ppl make others feel weird for not wanting a kid
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
Why do you need to hear excuses? I don't want kids. Never did. I don't owe anyone a reason for that.
Load More Replies... Bettie-Jean Neal 4 years ago
I finally turned 50 and people have stopped asking when I'm going to have kids. I am all of these reasons.
ZombieGirl 4 years ago
I'm too selfish to have children. I like spending money on myself and would be miserable if I had to suddenly put all that money towards someone else...and all my time and attention. Plus, there are enough people in this world...enough kids in the system. Also, I'd never forgive myself if I passed on my depression and anxiety to my kid
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Could we stop this lunacy? People have reasons to have kids and people have reasons to not have them. Let's not make this into some kind of cult. Whatever your choice is, it's OK. No need to give reasons or justifications and no reason to blame people for having or not having them. Last time I looked there's absolutely no reason for anyone to justify themselves.
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
Having kids is still the norm. Not wanting them is seen as weird, wrong, bad and people always ask for justification. It’s good to spend a lot of attention to the option to not have children, so it becomes normal and people stop blaming people or shaming them for not having them.
Load More Replies... Mark Fuller 4 years ago
1. We're gay - and the world still bullies kids with two Dad's. Sad, but my priority is the child, not my compulsion to be a father. 2. I'm barely mature enough to look after myself, let alone having a dependant. FYI, I'm nearly 40. 3. Money always feels tight, the cost of kids is scary. 4. Whenever I hear them scream (happy or sad) I want to rip their larynx out. 5. As unattractive as it is, I like looking after number one - drink more than I should, go to a restaurant with no planning, enjoy holidays that I want to go on... living life as I please. 6. Really not sure I want to bring them into this world...
Jeannie Bristow 4 years ago
No one who doesn't want to be a parent should have to be one. The only answer needed for why someone does not want a child (besides "mind your f-ing business") is "because."
Fairsher 4 years ago
I have 3 adult children and I wanted them. What I hate is people who have kids and didn't want any, they have them for their partner and it doesn't work. Far too much child abuse in the world by people who didn't want kids, ended up with one and cannot handle it. I never push my kids to have children, it is totally up to them and their partner, not me. We need people who don't want children, far too many children born and not wanted as it is.
Deborah B 4 years ago
Because I look at my life, and my budget, and mental and physical health, and ask is there room for a child here? And there's not. It's not just being selfish, though I am, or enjoying my me-time, though I do. I do not have the capacity, emotionally, physically, or financially, to take responsibility for another person. If you aren't committed, and aren't confidant you can do it well, don't make a baby.
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