You don't need the other party to accept or even understand your reasons for ending a relationship. Full stop.

I'm a very picky eater, but I'm more than happy to support you in your food choices. I may never be willing to try a bite, but someday I may be.

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

OP should've told him: "I broke up with you cuz you have the palate of a toddler" and then just hung up + blocked him. She doesn't need to keep interacting with someone who doesn't understand the word "no."

You don’t have to justify yourself to him to end the relationship. You can end it because you don’t like the color of his socks. But you should have told him that his eating habits were the reason so he can decide if he wants to make changes in the future.

I dumped a vegan for the same reason. This was many years ago, so there weren't fake meat options on the market even (or certainly not commonplace). But frankly, food is way too important to me too, and I could not feed this guy. And I didn't want to feed him! Must note the weird bit - this guy was a beef farmer. You should have seen his gorgeous cows, but he didn't eat his own farm's product. Nice guy, really - but nope.

20 years ago we went to the USA with my mother to see some friends in Minnesota. We talked a lot about French culture(we're French) and our food of course. Our friends couldn't understand how we could eat unpastorised cheeses. One day, at a mall, we found some Chavri. In France, we called it Chavrou and it was not considered a real cheese like Camember or Roquefort, more a sweet cheese for childen to learn to like goat cheese. It was sold in the US so we decided to take one to let our friends try. 2 of them liked it, but the third one put just a little bit of cheese on a huge slice of bread, and as soon as the slice (without cheese on it) touched her tongue, she spit and brush her tongue like it was poison or something. It was very pastorised cheese but she couldn't try it because it was written "from France" and so it was not American... fortunately she accepted to eat at the local chinese restaurant so we could change a little...

How about you stop telling people not to diagnose him without meeting him. If you don't want opinions, don't post it on a forum like this.

Have people forgotten the basic purpose of dating? You date to find out if you're compatible with the other person or not. If there are things that are important to you on which you are not compatible, then you should end the relationship. OP is a chef. Cooking and sharing meals is obviously important to her. She shouldn't be with someone who can't appreciate that. Just as he shouldn't be with someone for whom this kind of cooking is so important. He eats like a 7 year-old child. That's who he is, and if he's happy that way - fine, but he needs to find someone for whom that's not a deal-breaker and can accept that part of his character make-up. OP is definitely NTA. But let's all remember that dating is like a job interview, you're learning about each other to see if it's a good match. This isn't. Both should just move on.

"stop diagnosing someone you've never seen" We don't have to have. People who are familiar with the diagnosis know the signs of it. Because restricted eating, for whatever reason, is a sign of autism. It's not a medical condition, like you said, but many autistic people have void avoidance.

I love that he can eat fast food, which is some of the most processed crud on earth, but doesn't trust things "with too many ingredients".

if food is so trivial, why is HE always fussing about it?

My hat is off to you, cher sous chef; methinks you acted right. I’m not a psychologist in any way, but the guy you told us about might suffer from a serious anxiety disorder. Unfortunately or luckily it’s not up to folks like you and me to take care of that. A professional might be of good advice and assistance – but *only* if it’s “Mr. Picky Eater’s” dedicated own wish to seek help. Dear unknown sous chef, best wishes to you!

He doesn't trust food with too many ingredients. Stick to your macaroni without the cheese then. Who cares?

His reasons for being picky don't really matter here. The point is that food is very important to OP, both culturally and professionally. It will always be a point of contention between the two and it will be very difficult for them to have a happy relationship. It's like a doctor dating a Christian Scientist. You just can't reconcile something like that.

I am a picky eater due to health reasons. I try to turn down friends who offer to cook for me, but am willing to eat out somewhere that I know I can eat a couple of items. I will NOT make others eat what I have to eat. (Basically no spices or sauces, even pepper can give me a fever)

Not only is every single meal exhausting but i'm sure he's constipated 90% of the time. So not fun in every way!

Nothing wrong with her ending things simply because he wasn’t what she wanted in a partner. And being a picky eater isn’t an issue either, as long as you’re polite about it and take responsibility for it. But the rude comments and the fact that he became insufferable when she tried to end things fully pushes him into AH territory. Also, it’s a *potluck*, surely he could have asked to bring a dish that he knew he could eat? Why would you even invite yourself to a food centered event when you know you aren’t going to be able to eat the food?

He eats like a toddler, wants to go to Disney with her and have a fear of abandonment. That's NOT a man.

His last comments were the icing on the cake of why not to date thus guy. She tried to let him down politely, he should have taken that and accepted it. Red flags started as soon as he starting to push her for reasons then her telling him he spits the dummy. A lucky escape for her

They weren't kidding when they say "opposites attract".

As the mother of a very picky eater (fervently hoping she'll grow out of it) I would totally dump someone over this. It is so childish and annoying to be like this. It's okay to have some food you don't like but if you start looking for "green things" to pick out of your food we can't be friends.