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50 Times People Went Off Their Meds And Posted Something Bizarrely Funny (New Pics)
Interview With Author
The internet is a messy place, full of debates, drama, and doomscrolling. But sometimes, the best way to survive it is to embrace the nonsense.
A perfect place for that is the aptly named subreddit Delusions of Adequacy. It defies easy explanation, and that’s exactly the point. Even its own description insists no need to figure it out—after all, as it states, “if you need it explained, you won’t understand. If you understand, you won’t need it explained.” It’s pure randomness at its finest.
No need to overthink—just scroll down and enjoy some of the best recent posts.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Good Time Were Had By All
Willem Andries Oosterhof 10 months ago
Robin Williams will always be number one, but Danny is a very close second.
XenoMurph 10 months ago
Nah it'd be a bit boring, just two cardboard cut-outs stood beside each other, no conversation.
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RELATED:
#2
I Mean It's Not Wrong, Sometimes I Am Really Excited To Tell Someone About Something, But Not Often Xd
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
It reminded me of the Parks and Rec thing where Ron calls people by the wrong name on purpose to let them know he doesn't care about them.
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Anastasia Beaverhausen 10 months ago
I was at the local hardware with a man arguing with me about what I needed for my project, I told him no sir that’s not what I’m looking for I’m looking for xyz and he wouldn’t help me find the stuff so I left my full buggy and went elsewhere.
Billo66 10 months ago
My daughter asked me what mansplaining was lol. She walked out mid sentence after 10 minutes haha she is 10
Billo66 10 months ago
I just kept talking like bugs bunny explaining how well he can be quiet lol
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Zaach 10 months ago (edited)
I a sorry but I thought you Might like to read some manspslaining s**t: http://mansplained.tumblr.com/ Edit: forgot the link (but I am sure I can come up with an explanation
Lorraine R 10 months ago
See "Men Explain Things to Me", a small but powerful book by Rebecca Solnit.
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#3
No One Is Above The Law! Also, Good Advice For Parenting
Billo66 10 months ago
I know smoking is bad ...but. I went to light one right as I read that. I now have no nose hair lol. Fire snort.
Pollywog 10 months ago
I almost choked on my donut cracking up at your fire snort!! 🤣
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Molly A. Block 10 months ago
Too bad DJT can't understand this concept. And now we have a 34x CONVICTED FELON running our country!
Robert Robi Z 6 months ago
When a cat sees a human take a shower, it must think the human had been very very bad!
This isn’t the first time we’ve featured Delusions of Adequacy, and it probably won’t be the last. That’s hardly surprising, given the subreddit’s unique brand of humor—an infectious, hard-to-define charm that just begs to be shared.
#4
Here's Another Issue That Is None Of My Business
Forrest Hobbs 10 months ago (edited)
Not quite 100%. It's confidential information for sure, but her health care provider should know - if it's down to contraception failure, that needs looking at (e.g., investigation is needed if the IUD or hormonal implant failed to work). If it's because of a life-threatening health condition, that needs attention too. Etc. This sort of data in aggregate is also needed for country-level planning - e.g., you need to know about the rate of life-threatening pregnancy complications requiring abortion if you want to be able to provide health care services adequate to meet demand, decide where best to spend money on prevention, and so on. But the matter certainly is 100% private, confidential information which is none of *MY* business, or that of any other random nosey person.
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Lexi 10 months ago
Very true, it is nobodies business. So musk & trump and all whiney a*s b!tchs who think they have the right to tell a female what she & can't do with her own uterus can all fu©k off down that trump stinking musk hole they slimed out of
pfeils wife 10 months ago
This is for Crystalwitch60: You said: "Unless it’s health related or rape related as a form of contraception it’s despicable" FYI, no one is using abortion as contraception...but eveb if there are a few women out there doing that, there isn't very many... That's always been such a ridiculous argument. Considering, people like you will also say: "Just because a few people with hidden mental issues can legally buy and own a firearm, and then go and shoot up a school, doesn't mean everyone should be punished and have their guns taken away". DO YOU SEE THE HYPOCRISY?
Jamee 10 months ago
I once talked to a woman that had 7 just cuz she didn't want to have kids my sil had 2 cuz she didn't want anymore kids my other sil had one cuz she didn't want kids at that time , so actually more then you think in fact do us it for that very reason
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
Just now? XD I've been seeing her proclaim to be a "white witch" in comments for weeks and still go off and call people horrible names and slurs in the same (completely unpunctuated) comment.
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Heras buddy 10 months ago
You forgot the tiny red part that says Mind Your Own F*****g Business.
#5
That Bmw Is Leaving Xwitter Goes Against My Previous Theory That All Bmw Drivers Are Bad
𝖊𝖜𝖔𝛋 10 months ago
Did you know BMW stopped putting indicators as a standard feature in all their cars? Because none of their customers use it, it’s now an optional extra
keyboardtek 10 months ago
All the other luxury cars manufacturers are thinking of doing the same.
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Stephen Lyford 10 months ago
As a proud BMW driver, and one who DOES use his turn signals, this is hysterical :)
unfilteredCigarette73 10 months ago
I had a Porsche Carrera cruising in front of me a while back and dude was driving like a perfect gentleman observing the speed limit, being careful not to tailgate, signaling all lane changes..and I still wonder if he was just cool or if the car was stolen
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ucp 10 months ago
It’s totally a confirmation bias thing. People make the joke, then see a BMW fail to signal, and they say to themselves “see”. But, if you surveyed all drivers, you’d see it’s not unique to, or fully pervasive in, BMW drivers. I followed a SEAT today that failed to indicate at two roundabouts and three junctions in a row. But I’m not going to say that all SEAT drivers are bad. Jealousy comes into play too. (I don’t have a BMW, btw).
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Jrog 10 months ago (edited)
She is an ultra-MAGA idiot. Her twitter feed is full of racist or homophobic posts, conspiracy BS and authoritarian talking points. This post, along with others on the same tone, were an orchestrated attempt by Musk and his trumpist crew to shame BMW for taking a firm stance on Musk's Nazi salute at the inauguration. She could have made the funniest joke in the world -that this isn't- and still be a disgusting human and we should ignore her to oblivion.
Lynda Nesbitt 10 months ago
Seems name calling is a "thing" these days, huh? And I don't mean MAGA people.
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nottheactualphoto 10 months ago
It is, after all, the most fun. (Not in winter if you need to be somewhere.)
Load More Replies... #6
But Of Course The Goal Is To Make Earth Unlivable So Only Those Who Can Afford To Go To Another Planet Will Survive
The Darkest Timeline 10 months ago
Even for billionaires there is no planet B. They’ll just buy up the last inhabitable parts of Earth and pay private armies to keep the riff-raff out.
Forrest Hobbs 10 months ago
They need us riff-raff to do all the productive work. You can't employ an army if you can't feed them. You can't even employ a robot army unless you can power them - and that takes us riff-raff. The billionaires depend on us. They know it, and they're trying to stop us uniting against them and using the power we have over them. I hope I live to see the day when their fears of us are realized.
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Richard Iachetta 10 months ago
I wish Neil was right, but as long as fascists are in charge it ain't going to happen. I happy that I'm 77. I'll probably croak before the world is totally uninhabitable, but you can't be sure
Rich Black 10 months ago
And that power begins with television. Because we dont have the power to educate people beyond a 5th grade reading level.
Thiago Gonsalves 10 months ago
People can't survive a desert on earth, how they're planning to survive Mars? 🤣
James King 9 months ago
Says the man who got completely owned by the friggin' Steak-Ums X account over the scientific method. He's an embarrassment as a "scientist".
A few years ago, Bored Panda spoke with the subreddit’s creator, aspiring fantasy author Nick East, to get some insight into what Delusions of Adequacy represents on Reddit. We recently caught up with him again to see how the subreddit has evolved.
#7
I Have To Assume The Military Budget Big Enough To Fight God Is Because Deep Down The Evangelical Right Know They Couldn't Get Into Heaven Even If It Did Exist
Janissary35680 10 months ago
A retired Dutch foreign service officer who had spent many years in the US once said to me that the US is a third-world country with a thick, white upper crust.
Spidercat 10 months ago
Yep. Right wing, White run, Christian Conservative country with a two party system that polarises every issue and leaves no space for the moderate middle classes (who are actually lovely people)...
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EarthGrowl 10 months ago
The Evangelicals would nail Jesus to the cross again for being a heretic.
Basko 10 months ago
No they would not. They would not even meet him as he has no chance to get through immigration.
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Dan St John 10 months ago
Thanks to MAGA, we aren't even in the class of a 3rd world country anymore.
OpheliaPoe 10 months ago
People seem shocked when I (from the US, solo female traveler) went to Mexico and traveled all around the country by bus. I've traveled by bus in the US and my goodness, people really have NO idea how much better it is in other countries. Topes aside, traveling by bus in Mexico was an absolute luxury by comparison.
Riley Quinn 10 months ago
Arrogant Author has perfectly summed up the US. DoD should've been first on Doge's list for reduction of government waste, but no, they're going after Education, Health, and Welfare. At this rate, we won't be able to afford the trench coat.
Tamra 10 months ago
Doge will *never* cut DoD funding, because Musk gets BILLIONS in government contracts. No conflict of interest there, eh? Every person who pays taxes in this country has directly contributed to Musk's obscene wealth.
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Hidalgo 10 months ago
Except the cooperation is spotty at best, except when there’s war
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Peter Bear 10 months ago
'United' States, what a joke. We are 50 quasi-independent perpetually squabbling micronations spending more time arguing with each other than doing anything remotely unified and/or useful. America is a joke.
Lyone Fein 10 months ago
Well, we do have public libraries and garbage pick up. That's got to count for something?
#8
Now Kiss!
Talis 10 months ago
Well, arm wrestling was invented so that men can hold hands and look each other into the eyes...
MrLiesegang 10 months ago
Wasn’t there a case where they got so close that one boxer kissed the other one?
Caffeinated Hedgehog 10 months ago
These are just guys bestowing knighthoods on each other, but without the armor
nottheactualphoto 10 months ago
What! I thought cockfighting was outlawed years ago!
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#9
Cunk On Christmas, Your Essential Guide Through The Season Of Capitalism
Sillywaster Stayalone 10 months ago
"Coal isn't such a bad gift when it's cold. I once wrote a story outline where kids in a village intentionally behaved badly to collect coal for winter because their right to gather fuelwood was restricted by colonists. Adults noticed the change in behavior but couldn't understand why. One of them bought the best gifts they could afford for their kids, only to find the children disappointed and preferring coal.
Earthquake903 10 months ago
Protect this precious woman at all costs...and her mate Paul as well
Rick Seiden 10 months ago
"Father Christmas, give us your money. Don't mess around with no silly toys."
According to Nick, not much has changed—except for the fact that he now considers himself a full-fledged meme expert. “If it has evolved, it’s not intentional, but I was recently interviewed for a university master’s thesis on climate change memes,” he told us. “So, I feel like I can now officially call myself a meme expert. Not that I didn’t do that before—but now, I have documentation.”
#10
Remember Words Are Nice Cheap Way To Seem Like You Care Without Actually Having To Do Anything Or Even Care At All
Richard Iachetta 10 months ago
Of course, the prayers weren't answered, there is nobody there to listen.
Stephen Lyford 10 months ago
A common sight in American red states because idiotic conservatives think vaccines don't work.
Lyone Fein 10 months ago
Only infants (and those who think like infants) think that "praying" means asking for things/favors. As though the god entity is just a really big version of Santa Claus; and those people who are "good" get rewarded in obvious ways and those who are "bad" get punished in obvious ways. If this is your understanding of god and religion, then of course they seem ridiculous. This is what children are taught, because it is appropriate for their level of mental and emotional simplicity. Once you have matured beyond childhood, more complex and deeper facets/questions of reflection should be explored.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 10 months ago
Once you have matured beyond childhood you realise that the entire concept of a god is ludicrous. If you, as an adult, still have an imaginary friend then you are in no position to accuse others of "emotional simplicity".
Load More Replies... #11
Okay, I'm Willing To Get Raptured Or Whatever If This Is The Rider
WindySwede 10 months ago (edited)
This is what BP should only post, no celeb, no affiliate kinks, no tragic news, etc! 👍 edit:oups, *links*..
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Sillywaster Stayalone 10 months ago
Milord, I urge you to give me death, for I deserve nothing less.
#12
Lifegoals!
Nikki Gross 10 months ago
My Grandma's obit should have been: Here lies (my Grandma's name) also known to many as "The Wicked Witch of the South/Satan's Daughter/The Red Headed Old Hag) surrounded by family to ensure that she was REALLY dead. Her life was full of pettiness, lies and being a vile creature. This is the same woman, that when her husband our Grandpa talked about suicide, threw the shotgun onto the bed and walked out to the garage to go grocery shopping. Family and friends suspect part of the reason for the suicide was to finally be free and get away from her. Those that attended her funeral came for the opportunity to throw dirt, spit on her grave and to ensure that she didn't make a deal with Satan, so she wouldn't pull a Lazarus and come back from the dead. The Celebration of her Death was held at her Sister's home who everyone loved and knew, that it would p**s the b***h off one final time. In lieu of flowers please donate to the local Veterans hospital and hospice care, which she would've hated
Nads 8 months ago
Well… sometimes it’s just because it’s really hard to take care of old people and no one wants to do it.
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Bettye McKee 10 months ago (edited)
Priceless! I know someone who wanted to put this on her d**g-add8cted mother's headstone: Better living through chemistry.
TribbleThinking 10 months ago (edited)
I wanted to put on my late husband's coffin, an "Intel outside" logo, and also an "Idiot inside" swirl logo. We're both IT people.
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Sara Frazer 10 months ago
😆 if this is real I hope the people who see to my death announcement do something similar
Nikki Gross 10 months ago (edited)
My Grandma pre-planed her funeral and purchased her headstone. Because, frozen pigs would fly all over a frozen hell before we put: Beloved Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Sister and friend. "Will be loved and missed by those that knew her"....This was on a double headstone with Grandpa and all his has on it: Name, birth, death date and US Army Air Corp WWII. She did that because, she knew EVERYONE loved Grandpa and HATED her. It's funny that I keep his side decked out and not a damn thing on her side.
Earthquake903 10 months ago
She looks like my aunt Delores who is not even close to being evil
#13
This Is Also Why Workers With Rights Have No Value Under Capitalism, Stress, Pressure, And Burn-Out Is The New Normal For Wage-Slaves
EarthGrowl 10 months ago (edited)
When Trump screams about forest management in California. He doesn't mean raking the undergrowth. He means allowing the Lumber Industry to use chainsaws, tractors and trucks to tear out the heart of the forest like they've done in Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia. One ancient Red Wood is worth a fortune. They are federally protected trees? Not if Trump is in office.
Montanavanna 10 months ago
The large equipment used in logging operations destroy a forest floor. It ain't just the removal that causes deforestation. The forest floor is left very damaged which makes it inhospitable for growth. Then the replanting is usually done with just 1 species but diversity is key to success, everywhere. Horse logging is the best option for tree removal when it comes to maintaining ecological stability while also providing more jobs than conventional logging. But that method doesn't yield the highest profits therefore under the capitalist model horse logging isn't seen as viable.
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Inigo Montoya 10 months ago
More broadly, the problem is that the profit realized is the value after resource "extraction" minus the cost of said extraction. Societal and environmental costs do not figure into the equation at all. Those costs are borne by the wider population. Government regulatory agencies were created to help with this problem, but they are heavily influenced by the wealthy and corporations and are being systematically dismantled. A global carbon tax would do wonders for climate change, but it will never happen due to those with money who benefit from the status quo. So governments occupy themselves with the climate equivalent of window dressing, while we careen towards an unliveable planet within the next few centuries.
superfluous 10 months ago
I agree with the beginning of what you say but not the carbon tax.
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geezeronthehill 10 months ago
The world's economy is entirely contained within its ecosystem. Economy vs ecology is the ultimate false choice.
Highfalutin Heron 10 months ago
The reality is more subtly pernicious. A forest has value if it has the *potential* to be harvested. So the land is managed to maximize that value, resulting in large swaths of soulless "forest."
Der Kommissar 10 months ago
Aside from forests whose trees are planted specifically for use as lumber by companies such as Weyerhauser.
WindySwede 10 months ago
And when you only start to embrace publicly funded healtcare once Luigi enters the chat. 😬🫢
#14
I Will Never Be This Cool!
Rachael green 10 months ago
This is me helping my son with pokemon. He thinks I'm a god since I know every pokemon and their strengths and weaknesses. And I love pokemon so it's a treasured time, totally win/win 😂
Fluffy Cat Sleeps 10 months ago
This is one of my favorite pictures that I see on here regularly. Always makes me happy.
Wendy McNeil 10 months ago
I did that for my boys. Took me 4 hours to save princess peach, and couldn't move my thumbs for a week. But the boys got infinite lives, so I guess I was super mom...but only for 4 hours lol
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 10 months ago
Back in the good old days when kids used to spend their time staring at tiny screens.
Gracie Mae 10 months ago
complete with the obligatory bowl haircut! (even looks like one of mine)
afia kooma 10 months ago
Little girl on the left can feel her power grow as her rolemodel grows points
#15
Merry Christmas All, And To All A Badnight
The person leveling NYC 10 months ago
I googled “Thomas Erikson” and no, apparently, it has not occurred to him
Sillywaster Stayalone 10 months ago (edited)
Is it the same people who are around him, or different sets? And Thomas is really a people person , I mean engine.
keyboardtek 10 months ago
Before diagnosing oneself as having depression, first make sure you are not surrounded by Asshats.
Panda Kicki 10 months ago
He had the swedish anti-prize Årets Förvillare for his pseudo science ramblings.
Rich Black 10 months ago
Surrounded by talk show promos for his books, and staying on brand . .
#16
Wasn't It Also Originally Meant As A Critic Of Capitalism, Not A Guide For How To Live?
UKGrandad 10 months ago
I once saw a game of Monopoly end in a fistfight. And that's why Granny was never invited for Christmas again.
keyboardtek 10 months ago
In protest of Trump/Musk becoming the supreme rulers, we should all have a gathering where we burn our Monopoly games.
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detective miller's hat 10 months ago
When me and my siblings played Monopoly, one player would get an extra $1000 at the start, chosen randomly. Guess which player always won.
EarthGrowl 10 months ago
The only way to win at Monopoly is to cheat and snitch money from the banker while they are in the kitchen. The reverse is happening in the U.S. now. The bankers are stealing from the players and calling it, "Trickle Down Economics"
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 10 months ago
I love that in the UK version the cheapest property is called Old Kent Road, yet in the American version even the cheapest property sounds exotic :D
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Ironically now that area has been gentrified and property there is £££
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Cj Churchall-McKenzie 10 months ago (edited)
the original 'landlords' game was a lesson against capitalism , the inventor Elizabeth Maggi had it stolen and the thief changed it to monopoly and sold it the parker bros
Nikole 10 months ago (edited)
Nope. There’s always someone with the most money and most properties. Also… I stopped being allowed to be the banker because I would give myself extra “change” when I bought something. My mom and my little brother would make deals between themselves for property and leave me out. It’s life… And only sustainable for those at the top.
Ace 10 months ago
Once the winner has all the money there is no=one else left in the game.No-one to stay in all their hotels, no=one to pay the outrageous rents you're charging. Once you've bankrupted the rest of the world there is nothing left for you to enjoy.
Load More Replies... Marco Groot 10 months ago
Do you know how you restart a game of monopoly? You REDISTRIBUTE THE WEALTH!
Cristi nah 10 months ago
Monopoly ends when there is one who owns everything and the rest are bankrupted. Like in real life
#17
Yes, But What's Inside The Disappointed Idealist, Is It Like A Russina Nesting Doll Situation?
Major Harris 10 months ago
really wish him and robin williams were still with us during these times!
Montanavanna 10 months ago
I watched that movie Absolutely Anything today. Robin Williams voiced the dog in it. Really gave me the warm and fuzzys. Thank you Robin Williams for all the chuckles and still sharing your light with us. See you on the other side.
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Michael Largey 10 months ago
And "I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Brenda 10 months ago
George Carlin was brilliant and hilarious and so genius with the way he spoke on damn near any subject. Being able to make us laugh AND think about issues was his super power. Even his straight up comedy was brilliant, even though it was censored or even banned early in his career.
David Paterson 10 months ago
The version I know is "A cynic is an idealist who has lost his rose coloured glasses, thereby improving his vision".
#18
I Thought They Also Say Adult Cats Only Mjau At Humans, And Yes Mjau Is The Correct Spelling!
BookFanatic 10 months ago
My mother, God bless her, had a brief moment of thinking animals were named after their sounds. She cited "Wolf" as being because wolves went woof. I promptly asked her if elephants yelled "Eeelllleeephaaant!" when they trumpeted. Never let her live that one down.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
Oh my goodness, that gave me a good laugh! Wolves have always been my favorite animal, and I was INSUFFERABLE as a child when other kids would pronounce the word "wolves" as "woofs". (Or "wolf" as "woof".) I would go insta-pedantic on them at the age of like 6 and be all "It's pronounced WOLF!" XD
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DC 10 months ago
... but ... Gina often says something along "B-Brb!", at every step, while running towards me returning from the bad outside world. That's extremely cute and worth loving and all, but ... is she a Brb, now?
Birgit M 10 months ago (edited)
Yes, of course! A purebred felis brbis. :-)
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UKGrandad 10 months ago
The British comedian and writer, David Baddiel, used to have a cat named Chairman Mao.
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Rich Black 10 months ago
Mjau is the Norwegian word for cat. And one of their cat food brands. Stealth product placement!
Christine Stewart 10 months ago
One of my cats says, "Me-ow", and another cat says, "Mrrow?"- so the spelling of "mrow" is actually quite dependent on the cats' specific dialect lol...
#19
That's All It Takes
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 10 months ago (edited)
He lived through the First World War as a soldier. Makes sense he associated evil with no-man's-land
Forrest Hobbs 10 months ago (edited)
Not *just* the first world war. When the hobbits return to the Shire, industrialization and pollution are A Thing - and that's done for the trees, too. Tolkien lived through a lot of that. George Orwell touches on the same issues in one of his novels - can't recall which one off the top of my head.
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keyboardtek 10 months ago
I fully expect the cherry trees in Washington, DC to all start dying off now.
Sue User 10 months ago
Um bad news.They are chopping down ( have already ?) chopped down 140 near the Jefferson Memorial to build a sea wall. The originsl sea walks have settled and the sea has also risen.
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Ruthie R 10 months ago
It's the first thing I notice about all Elon Musk's production plants and facilities - no trees, not a blade of grass, barren, desolate, dead. That man is pure evil.
Lorraine R 10 months ago
That's so he doesn't have to spend money on landscaping or landscape maintenance. Living things are too messy.
Load More Replies... Jrog 10 months ago (edited)
Tolkien fought in France, including at the Battle of the Somme. The orcs destroying trees are a throwback of the artillery razing forests with barrages, as well as the Mordor plain description was basically a recounting of the Somme valley. The Oliphaunts were a metaphor for tanks (and possibly armored trains, that Tolkien did not witness directly). The Hobbit behavior is inspired by his soldiers, by their quiet courage and perseverance. The action of the Rohirrim and the elves are reminishing of how the English public opinion reacted to the war. Tolkien had experienced German flamethrowers, fire in his books (especially the Hobbit) is always seen as a fierce and unstoppable force
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 10 months ago
Mordor is, as I have read, based on the landscape of the Eryri (Snowdonia) in Wales. There are no trees in those mountains - they've all been clearcut over history ((there are trees, just not up on the mountains. They're in the valleys). The mountains are bare and grey and in sh*tty weather, it looks bleak and devastating. Beautiful, too, but I get where he got the imagery from.
#20
I'm Not Looking Forward To This Rebooot "Forward To The Past"
Gibberint Dark 10 months ago (edited)
In the UK At 88mph you would be breaking the law by speeding 18 mph over the speed limit... Plus... Your Cybertruck would be seized by the police for driving it on a public road and for having no insurance as cybertrucks can't legally be driven on British roads...
April Pickett 10 months ago
Really? TIL cyber trucks are illegal in England.
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Verena 10 months ago (edited)
You may try to do so on the German Autobahn, one of the very few places in Europe where you are allowed that speed (Edit: 142 km/h), but you won't get there, because you won't get licence plates. These cars are illegal in almost every country in Europe. Main reason is that they do not pass the safety test for hitting things, because they are by design a deathly weapon against pedestrians and cyclists.
Joe Reaves 10 months ago
Only if the brakes fail - which is entirely possible.
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TheGayUmbrella 10 months ago
What's the difference between a cybertruck and a dumpster? One is for trash with taste, and it ain't the car.
Schmebulock 10 months ago
That was always his goal, but now Trump is letting him try to bring apartheid to America.
Saint_Zipcodus 10 months ago
Recently I was fortunate enough to witness beholding one of these in the wild for the first time. By far the most astounding thing is that it looks even more stupid in real life than in the pictures.
#21
I'm Going To Make Disco Inferno My New Personal Motto, Because Mistakes Cause Suffering, But We Also Learn Best From Our Mistakes
Apatheist Account2 10 months ago
"I learn through suffering" Google translates as "ego discere per passionem". "Disco inferno" is actually "I'm going to hell". The first one is correct though.
Hugo 1 month ago
Don't believe everything the googly translator tells you.
Load More Replies... The person leveling NYC 10 months ago
🤓👆 erm actually “disco inferno” translates to “I’m going to Hell” so that could actually be more accurate lol
Forrest Hobbs 10 months ago
Checks out with Google translate: https://translate.google.com/?sl=la&tl=en&text=audio%2C%20video%2C%20disco&op=translate
Tabitha 10 months ago
That’s funny. I just entered it in Google Translate and it came up as “I’m going to hell”.
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Tabitha 10 months ago
Totally changes the context of the song, doesn’t it? Makes you wonder if The Trammps have been waiting the last 50 years for someone to FINALLY get it.
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Eugenia 🇮🇹🤌 10 months ago
The german car brand is called Audi because of the son of an employee who was studying latin at school and overheard his father and the owner discuss the name of the firm. The owner's name meant "listen" in german, so the boy suggested to translate that in latin: audi, the imperative of the verb audire
Peter Bear 10 months ago
Hence the root of 'discovery', which you can't spell without 'very disco'.
#22
Remember The First Rule Of The Workplace, All Bosses Lie... Abl For Short
Sarah Belt 10 months ago
And if the conversation was off line, follow up with a 'thank you for clarifying' email outlining what was said. -my lawyer friend
Gia SDP 10 months ago
100% I do this with a psychotic coworker who can't seem to remember ANYTHING unless I forward my emails to her as proof.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I do this to my older sister, who will tell me something via text message, then insist she did not say it or that she told me something different. I screenshot her messages and send the screenshot to her. She then splutters and tries to go the "well, that's not what I MEANT" route. Hope your co-worker doesn't do that XD
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Geoffrey Scott 10 months ago
And for heaven's sake, create a 'CYA' folder to record your interactions.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Yup, something I learned long time ago, always leave a paper trail. This worked hugely in my favour when I was finally able to prove I was being bullied in the workplace by my boss.
#23
And That's Where Everything Started Going To S**t, Remember Never Accept The Cookie!
David Houde 10 months ago (edited)
Except she gives him the cookie at the end of the scene. https://youtu.be/MQJlBpPLHUM?si=qAOfbxgXmCqJjJrN
#24
Remind Me, What Does One Have To Do To Upset A Witch?
Der Kommissar 10 months ago
Don't say " I want to be a frog " within earshot of a French restaurant.
Bonnie Edwards 9 months ago
Because people call French citizens "frogs" and you might find yourself being romanced?
Load More Replies... Lene 10 months ago
Would be amazing to read a fairytale where an evil witch turns the main character into something small (a frog, a snail, a fish etc) and the, now, small creature just enjoys that new life until they get eaten in the end.
Bonnie Edwards 9 months ago
Try the Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett. A side character is a toad that used to be a lawyer until it argued with a witch. He ultimately went to live with the Feegles as their personal lawyer.
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nottheactualphoto 10 months ago
But it probably would be, if you were a frog.
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Regina Holt 10 months ago
But there are now frogs being born with extra legs. Birth defects are happening.
#25
Still Better Than "Carpe Diem" Or "Live, Laugh, Love" :p
Highfalutin Heron 10 months ago
"live, laugh, love" is slightly better rearranged: live much, laugh well, love often
#26
I'm Super Bad At Identifying Things, I Should Get Into UFO Sighting!
Patrick H 10 months ago
That didn't bother me nearly as much as the complete lack of periods and commas.
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detective miller's hat 10 months ago
for some reason this one made me think of that time the scientists testing nuclear bombs accidentally shot a manhole cover into space
Michael Largey 10 months ago
And that sewer worker was sooo pissed when he came back down!
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#27
Little Denethor Went To The Farmer's Market, A Lotr Short
justagirl 10 months ago
I mean if a BABY, one of THE pickiest creatures on the planet, loves that tomato, I sure as heck will.
cerinamroth 10 months ago
That same baby probably went home and drank his own bathwater; just saying! They are not picky in several ways that they really should be!
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Enuya 10 months ago
Tomatoes ARE great to eat alone, just like you'd eat an apple. Especially in the summer. One of my favourite snacks in-between meals. Low calories, lots of vitamins, good taste - all the pros and no cons.
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
In the summer when we were kids, my older brothers used to steal the salt shaker from the table and go eat tomatoes off my mother’s vines. She always had a knack for getting loads of tomatoes going every year, so she didn’t care if the boys ate any. Tomatoes aren’t junk food, so it made her happy to see her kids eating them. (I’m 64, so it was when we lived in the country outside of Gettysburg, PA—-we’re talking back from the mid-fifties to 1968 when we moved to Maryland).
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Roxy222uk 10 months ago
My experience with my toddlers was that anyone who sells fruit and veg, whether an old fashioned greengrocer or a market stall, will invite a little kid that likes the look of something to help themselves. Such a lovely connection and personal touch. Won't get that at Tesco
#28
As The Adult Man In This Scenario I Fully Support The Nirvana Clothing Brand Xd
DeShotz 10 months ago
Reminds me of the story that some a**hat told a 30-something year old woman that she was too young to be wearing an Alice Cooper T-shirt. Little did he know, she was Alice Cooper's touring guitarist at the time.
Dave In MD 10 months ago
Pick up a shirt worn by a teen boy and you will know what teen spirit smells like.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I do too! And I like Foo Fighters! And while I don't like ALL of Maroon 5's songs, I do like some of them!
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Pheebs 10 months ago
Don’t even need to wear a band shirt. I wore a shirt for the show Firefly - front of the shirt was just the giant Chinese character Serenity. Some random dude at Lowes started berating me for wearing a shirt I didn’t know anything about because I wanted to be “cool” by wearing Asian stuff.
Katherine Forest 10 months ago
Oh c'mon. Women can be passionate about music too. This makes me angry.
Lace Neil 10 months ago
I've had a guy accuse me of doing this. I was wearing a Saxon t-shirt and had to break it to him that firstly, I am a Saxon fan and secondly, I am much cooler than him cuz I've met Biff Byford (singer of Saxon).
Earonn - 10 months ago
But...but...why waste your money for bands you're not into? Do you have enough money to buy both kinds of t-shirts?
Enuya 10 months ago
Some band t-shirts are just nice looking. I don't buy band's t-shirts if I don't know their music, but I love aesthetic of some of these and think tehy'd look nice with rest of my clothes
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Bob Brooce 10 months ago
You can tell me that, but when people tell me they're stupid I believe them and act accordingly.
#29
New Business Plan For Oil Companies: Giving Evil Lessons In Hell
Nads 8 months ago
I think they are suggesting we start doing that, because of the contribution of the oil companies to the warmer climate
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Nancy Parker 10 months ago
Unfortunately we will run out of companies before we run out of heatwaves. Or possibly corpses.
#30
How To Tell People You've Been Brainwashed By Corporate Propoganda
Montanavanna 10 months ago
Isn't this about the parable. When the frog gets in, the water isn't hot yet. In fact it feels nice. The boiling is very slow and the frog stays in the water, not sensing the danger. Until it is too late and its cooked. Someone help me out with the rest of it. Oh, when totalitarian agriculture emerged some 10k years ago the water was nice, very comfortable. We are at the inevitable outcome of 10k years of development in totalitarian systems. If we don't get out of the water, NOW, were gonna be cooked. We gotta shift our role on this planet. We can be a different way.
Bob Brooce 10 months ago
They're edible with no boiling at all, so it's really just personal preference.
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Regina Holt 10 months ago
Poor froggies. They won't know until its too late. But then it will be too late to know anything.
#31
If I Can't Be Winnie The Pooh I Don't Want To Be Anything
#32
Mainstream Mathemathics Xd
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 10 months ago
"An influencer on social media said..."
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Lyone Fein 10 months ago
This is a pretty accurate depiction of an average university classroom, in my experience of 20 years as a professor. It doesn't matter what the students' politics are. They are resistant to accepting facts or logic that do not coincide with their previously held world views. Despite the many years of expertise that the professor has in the subject matter.
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 10 months ago
"It's all them immigrants fault...for everything!" or better yet, "tariffs will make them prices go down, like orange Jeebus promised!"
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Pyxelle 10 months ago
Pythagoras actually headed a cult, just saying...https://www.curioustimes.co.uk/culture/the-cult-of-pythagorasOvVaw1jpau8R55ElWqNdb863Eqs
Load More Replies... Richard Iachetta 10 months ago
So all the kids in the second picture now work for the Trump administration
#33
I'm Aiming For Dumpster Fire, Don't Want To Set The Bar Too High
Rich Black 10 months ago
These meme brought to you by someone working in a cube farm, and with $10,000 in credit card debt.
Crystal Taggart 10 months ago
OMG! I created a multidimensional Phoenix meditation this week! https://youtu.be/rgLmBbCttYM?si=sImxm78ps8x4T2PG
#34
This Is Me Now!
Nikolaj Christensen 10 months ago
... but lemon can not be the opposite of lemon, lemon is sour so opposite would be MANGO???
Craig S. (EvilSausage) 10 months ago
I met someone who swore that they've always heard people say "easy peasy japanesy."
#35
This Is My Kind Of Dalek!
Kenneth Barns 10 months ago
Surely it's "Masticate, masturbate, procrastinate, replicate"?
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cerinamroth 10 months ago
But "All it takes for evil to flourish is for the good to do nothing", right?
#36
Would You Like To Play A Game?
𝖊𝖜𝖔𝛋 10 months ago
Same with printers. Sometimes you have to pretend you don’t even really care whether it works or not. Be apathetic, show no emotion. Under no circumstances do you ever let a printer know that you need a document quickly! (/j)
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Pretend you've made a typo that you've got to correct so you're not even going to use the version being printed.
Load More Replies... Inigo Montoya 10 months ago
Meanwhile in movies: * 5 seconds of frenzied typing * "OK, I've hacked into the IRS database!"
kansasmagic 10 months ago
Stupid movies! Obviously if you want access to the IRS database you just have to bankroll the presidential campaign of a vengeful narcissist, and he'll give it to you, no questions asked!
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Karen Krause 10 months ago
It's like mentioning you have extra money while in your car. Next thing you know, car problem!
Damned_Cat 10 months ago
Never touch the copier "start" button with your bare hands. It can read your pulse and sense how urgent the job is. This is what causes paper jams. The more urgent the job, the less likely it will be for you to find anything actually jammed in the machine.
Crystal Taggart 10 months ago
Or if you have a demo in <1 hour. 100%of last-minute demos have a 0% success rate of working even though you only changed 1 line of code.
Sara Harvilla 10 months ago
Computers smell fear, and copiers are very sensitive. Approach them slowly, treat them gently, and never ever ride up and down on the moving paper tray.
Regina Holt 10 months ago
My laptop shows down when I want to get through a whole BP list before I have to get up and hurry to do something, or go somewhere.
#37
This Is Why I Never Liked History In School
Two_rolling_black_eyes 10 months ago
History is written by the victors. We study the life of Richard the Lionhearted because he was the one paying Matthew to write about it. The thousands of people he ruled and killed in crusades were too busy dying to write their stories so there's nothing to read. We guess about their lives from stories told by archeologists vandalizing their long past lives.
Jac Carr 10 months ago
Same reason many Americans think they won the Vietnam war
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Jrog 10 months ago (edited)
Oh, cool, a meme from someone who has a less than basic understanding of History... The modern approach to history fixes exactly that. One of the major historians of the XX century was a guy named Marc Bloch, who -before dying a hero in the French Resistance- founded a little thing called "Les Annales" to "retrieve the Human element in History", to document the life conditions of ordinary folks, and to promote a better understanding of History through better knowledge of all the social strata, not only the kings and rules.
Shelli Aderman 10 months ago
Which is exactly why the oligarchs in the White House are trying to rewrite American history…. 😔
The Shark 10 months ago
I learned so much more about history, science, EVERYTHING after graduating college... I fortunately went to primary schools that focused on teaching kids critical thinking skills and different ways to learn. Sadly it feels like that's fallen by the wayside, certainly in the US
Jrog 10 months ago
What is important to understand, is that the History you study at school HAS to be notionistic. It is required to give you the basic information to start understanding history on a larger scale. You are probably also not old enough to understand such complex dynamics when you study it. So, they give you the foundations, and if you are interested you could build on it through your travels, personal readings or even games... To me, one of the major drivers to start re-studying history on my own was playing Crusader Kings.
Load More Replies... Binny Tutera 10 months ago (edited)
In college I signed up for a History of Italy class because I love history and I’m Italian. Walked in, it was a bunch of guys and it was only a history of the WARS of Italy. Why? I mean Italy has so much more interesting history! The prof let me drop it.
TotallyNOTAFox 10 months ago
Lots of information can be found about the everyday life though for anybody interested
PenguinQueen 10 months ago
Lest we forget the women. It always makes me a little sad whenever I'm researching my own family history and it's just names, occasional life stories.. But rarely, do you get details of the women, because they are just stated as 'Wife of' - Or... Male family member *married - No details of her other than who her father was or how many children they had together, then that line follows their eldest Male line and so on..
#38
Management Also Enjoys An Old Unoffensive Simpsons Reference, So Put This In The Breakroom
The Shark 10 months ago
It's real easy for a rich CEO to think it's perfectly reasonable to expect every employee to do the work of 4 people. They're not the ones doing the work.
Tabitha 10 months ago
Additionally, the employees aren’t stakeholders sharing the profits, so they’re not as invested in working their asses off as the CEO, the Founder, and the Investors were when they started the company, or took it over.
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Rebecca McManus 10 months ago
This is why I am having an interview today for a job as a supermarket delivery driver, 30 years of putting up with this behaviour, I've had enough and am opting out.
Karen Bryan 10 months ago
A sign I saw: "To err is human....to blame it on somebody else shows management potential."
#39
That's Some Real Good Philosophy, How Much?
TotallyNOTAFox 10 months ago
Or never finds somebody that would want to work there - Like the local bike shop that's looking for retail workers for 5 years straight without any break
Boo 10 months ago
Sounds like my local Aldi's. They are always looking for new staff.
Load More Replies... Christine Stewart 10 months ago
Years ago, some idiot at my university/administration was threatening to turn my student co-op/living situation into some kind of office building, because we had so much student turnover. I had to explain to them very slowly that it was called GRADUATING from university, so of course students left our humble abode every year...
Lyone Fein 10 months ago
This is so funny precisely because Confucius was always getting fired!
Sillywaster Stayalone 10 months ago
Or the company has a foreseeable long term expansion ahead.
Gracie Mae 10 months ago
or they suck to work for & people keep quitting. high turnover is never a good sign
#40
My Favourite Part Of Being Alive Is The Time I Spend That Is Most Like Being Dead
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 10 months ago
Until I'm not tired anymore, so who knows?!
Load More Replies... Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
If I could control time, I would make it pass by in lightning speed when I have to work, and drag on forever when I’m off. Pretty sure you can guess which one I would put on a permanent loop. (Think about it. You’d still have the pay from the workweek that went by in a flash, and all the time in the world to spend it, after getting completely caught up on your sleep. Heavenly.)
#41
Give Me Your Best Definition Of Aggressively Gullible
Sillywaster Stayalone 10 months ago
They are just finding a quirk that will separate them from the crowd, but their standards are too low as they are desperate, and so they readily accept anything fairly unique to the mainstream without much investigation. Not fools, but willful suspension of criticality.
Multa Nocte 10 months ago (edited)
I would with you argue that they are not fools.
Load More Replies... kansasmagic 10 months ago
"I'm a skeptic, so I don't believe in *anything* - except this impossibly complex web of cover ups I once saw on YouTube."
Nikolaj Christensen 10 months ago
But what if that's what THEY want you yo think!!!
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#42
It's Going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better
Shark Lady 10 months ago
It's always darkest just before the dawn, we can hope in vain that it won't get any darker.
VikingAbroad 10 months ago
There was light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately it turned out to be a train.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
Ever since having a kidney stone, I've really hated the saying, this too shall pass.
#43
The Same Person Who Earns Millions And Pays 0.02 Percent Taxes
Sue User 10 months ago
It is too late. Amazon broke the law when workers tried to unionise, govt did nothing
Load More Replies... Michael Fernandez 10 months ago
The guy at Amazon who abolished bathroom breaks has literally just become trump’s OSHA lead.
Rich Black 10 months ago
If you stop buying stuff you'll no longer be broke and high. But you will be bored. Get a library card .
Bonnie Edwards 9 months ago
I've just been learning about land taxes. Rich companies are not saving anything by avoiding their income tax.
#44
Thanks, I Hate People
CP 10 months ago (edited)
People hate uncomfortable truths. People love facts and science they agree with morally.
Atero 10 months ago
Yea they do love them, unless science and facts go against their political or religious views. Then they are back to be ignorant a$$holes.
Load More Replies... Dan St John 10 months ago
MAGAs hate facts, truth and science. They like living in their own little world of hate, lies, misogyny, racism, religious nuttery and bigotry
Amanda Reinstatler 9 months ago
Like how they were nice enough to tell us which parts of the Bible actually matter, and which parts are just silly.
Bryan Wright 10 months ago
If you don't like my facts and science, I have another selection in my pocket.
#45
I Call This The "Try To Fire Me, See What Happens"-Stance
Earonn - 10 months ago
Absolutely! Use your Power of the Middle Aged Person. Especially women gain superpowers.
Damned_Cat 10 months ago
During my last couple weeks before I retired, I showed up to work in jeans or patterned slacks (including my favorite leopard print ones). One of the other senior staff members told me I was setting a bad example for the younger employees. I hope so. I dearly hope so...
Tabitha 10 months ago
Of the two, I would much rather party with the guy on the right. No offense to the guy on the left, who looks like a real straight arrow (fEdit: Finding out he’s Tiger Woods completely nullifies that observation. Oh well…), but the guy on the right looks like his entourage would have a hell of a lot more fun with him.
Lab Lover 10 months ago
Oh, they will fire you anyways. Then wonder why things went to sh!t. However, they won’t take responsibility, they will just write a revisionist version of events…”Saved x $ in previous blah blah blah” when they apply for a new, fancier management role. No one will actually check and realize the changes they made screwed everything up. Middle manager, climbers SUCK.
Bettye McKee 10 months ago
Been there, done that. Transferred to another department. Who was that young whippersnapper to tell me what to do.
Rich Black 10 months ago
About your latest quarterly review:. We'd like to discuss a PIP . . .performance improvement plan.
#46
It's Called Class, Look It Up! Xd
Sian E 10 months ago
Our football chants are often very inventive, but sometimes also very offensive...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I'm an American and recently saw a fantastic video of a chant at a soccer game where I believe the crowd is chanting "That is embarrassing" repeatedly, but their accent is so strong that the video subtitles jokingly say things like "Lobsters in motion", "That isn't my receipt", "Lactates in pharmacy", "Rotating pirate ships", and so on. It was glorious. We don't do anything nearly as fun at American football games here.
Load More Replies... Fat Harry (Oi / You) 10 months ago
Manchester United (whose biggest rivals are Liverpool, people from Liverpool are scouse. This is important.) used to have a Korean player called Park Ji Sung, and the fans chanted to the tune of Lord of the Dance (or Apallachian Spring, if you're cultured): "Park, Park, wherever you may be, you eat dogs in your home country, It could be worse, you could be Scouse, eating rats in your council house.". Borderline offensive, but genius.
Forrest Hobbs 10 months ago
What do you mean, *borderline* offensive? 😂 Meanwhile: scouse was originally a stew particularly associated with Liverpool, which ended up giving its name to the people who lived there: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scouse_(food).
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Apatheist Account2 10 months ago
From the mid-80s: Everton were thrashing Oxford, and the Everton fans came up with "You only sing when you're rowing".
Theo Blackwood 10 months ago
My favourite is when a losing team starts chanting “Let’s pretend, let’s pretend, let’s pretend we scored a goal” and then start cheering.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 10 months ago
Back in the 90s, Ipswich Town were thumped 9-0 by Manchester United. The following week they lost 4-0 to (I think) Spurs, and the chant was "FOUR NIL. WE ONLY LOST FOUR NIL!". Then there's Plymouth Argyle who come to Yeovil and chant "YOU DIRTY NORTHERN BASTARDS"
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Kathy Brooke 10 months ago
Rugby fans... here's the hymn book with the list of the ones you need to learn
Rich Black 10 months ago
We haven't won a world cup fot more than 60 years. We need better songs!
Lace Neil 10 months ago
I once started a chant of "the referee needs to go to Specsavers!" at a match. That is actually the most polite thing I've ever yelled while watching football.
Aldwin Thomas 9 months ago (edited)
The most chants are not 100% racist, in my opinion. I’ll try to explain my thoughts. I think the most important goal of the chants is to wind up the opposing team and supporters. And the most effective way is to pick on the weak spots or make fun of the appearance of the player. This can be very offensive and even racially motivated, but I am sure it’s mainly aimed at breaking the concentration of the players concerned. You could compare it with a schoolyard fight, first the name calling and the insults: if you want to get your opponent get angry this is the best way. Anger is often the cause of a sharp decline in concentration. And thus it may not have a good influence on the focus of your players . This might seem a bit far fetched but I really do think that is the most likely reason for the offensive and racist chants And let’s be honest: they’re very often very funny!!!!!
Bryan Wright 10 months ago
Special teams for this and that are just the American Way. Other countries empower the players on the field to make their decisions ( obviously with a little guidance from the manager)
#47
I Would've Been A Great Greek Philosopher, I Could Drive A Mobile Home Into A Symposium
Science Nerd 10 months ago (edited)
Big deal. California has houses that move.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 10 months ago (edited)
Pretty sure there are mobile homes - whole houses than can be moved on a truck, I mean.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
When my car won't start, I roll the windows up and down to remind it of this meme.
#48
This Is The Only Kind Of Therapy I Could Accept
veryvenasaur 10 months ago
TWO lord of the rings references in ONE bp post it’s only 7:35 am and this is already the best day I’ve had all year.
Sarah Belt 10 months ago (edited)
Let's make your day even better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuQbus0xfhk
Load More Replies... kansasmagic 10 months ago
If you have friends like Aragorn's, then lean away! But what if you have "friends" like Theoden's?
Hyacinth (Any pronouns) 10 months ago
Okay but my mom literally did this to me? We were talking about something, and I mentioned forgetting to use my adaptations at school. I think we must have been watching Prince of Egypt at the time, because my mom goes 'Moses was disabled, and he got help. Are you saying you're better than Moses?' My only option was to go 'Nooo...'
Jac Carr 10 months ago
For some reason this reminded me of men who won't wear sunscreen - Are you saying you can fight the sun and win?
Load More Replies... Lene 10 months ago
I had a therapist once who made all his patients read a story about the Moomins. He had a lot of stories to choose from and he'd pick one that he felt (after your first lesson) would resonate with you/your problem the best. I got a story about an invisible girl whom the Moomin family tried to help and only when the girl started to set boundaries did she become visible. I'm not a fan of Moomin. But I want the cup you can buy with the drawing of the invisible girl walking up some stairs. To remind myself that I need to set boundaries and make my voice heard.
Peter Bear 10 months ago
Damn straight. A strong person knows they can lean on their friends, because they also know their friends can lean on them. We are all stronger together.
Rich Black 10 months ago
When you believe your outcome is due to evil wizards, wraith, and orcs
Lost Panda 10 months ago
Maybe Aragorn is the friends we made along the way
Load More Replies... #49
Ah Yes, Hugging Horse And Swordsman, I Know Them Well
Sue Denham 10 months ago
Actually I think the horses are fighting it out and the guys in armour are bestowing knighthoods on each other.
kansasmagic 10 months ago
But where's the lonely guy crying in his beer? Oh, wait, you mean two types of *social* drunk.
michael reid 10 months ago
One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot one another.
#50
Okay, I'll Be Good, I Promise. Don't Send Me To Video Game Controller Hell!
Schrödinger's Douchebag 10 months ago
Each time when you click enter on the password it's incorrect and deletes the email address.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
And then tells you that you can't use a password you previously used when reinstating.
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DetriMentaL (It/That) 10 months ago
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
Must Be Bored Again 10 months ago
One of the late night shows had a competition where two teenagers would text a message to each other and two older men would use Morse code to send a message to each other and the winners would be whoever sent the message the fastest and correctly. The Morse code guys won. The entire audience was absolutely amazed.
#51
I Wonder What A Black Hole Sounds Like?
BoredLittleLeafSheep 10 months ago
If the earth is cold and dead I don't think I'd be hearing anything at all.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
I'm going to have to try to stop sniggering before I get back to the office....
Load More Replies... TotallyNOTAFox 10 months ago
Though would we hear it or would our brain ignore it like the tip of the nose in our field of view?
#52
I Would Like To Suggest The New Word For Influencer To Be Wormtongue. As In "Those From Whose Mouths Issue Fourth Words Like Worms." All Those In Favour Say "Aye"
UKGrandad 10 months ago
"Those From Whose Mouths Issue Fourth Words Like Worms." FORTH, you numbskull: words issue forth.
Auntriarch 10 months ago (edited)
You're going to bust a gasket one of these days Grandad. Upvote because numbskull is one of my favourite words.
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#53
Shut Up, I'm Not Crying, You're Crying!
Libstak 10 months ago
So everyone who lost their battle against old age or just death in any way is a warrior. Sorted, carry on.
Forrest Hobbs 10 months ago
I think the point is that you have to go down fighting, one way or another. Odin needs fighters in Valhalla, ready for the final battle at Ragnarok - when almost everyone's going to die no matter what. Norse religion wasn't at all cheery.
Load More Replies... Norm Gilmore 10 months ago
The writing prompt is a lot longer and better than this short snippet shown. Enjoy!! https://mediachomp.com/valhalla-does-not-discriminate-writing-prompt-story/
afia kooma 10 months ago
The valkyries jave first pick and only takes the best of the best, so child will be bussom warm and full with warm mead
#54
A Venn Diagram Of Me On Any Given Day
Wintermute 10 months ago
I don't get it. I don't read black rectangle. I guess I'll never f****n' know.
Joshua 10 months ago
I have heard it 1 time, on taskmaster, when they could only speak in 2 word chunks
Load More Replies... #55
This Is The Kind Of Love Story We Like Around Here
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 10 months ago
…would Data sparkle? I mean he is made at least partially of metal…
Inigo Montoya 10 months ago
He is programmed in "multiple techniques , a broad variety of pleasuring", after all
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Fred L. 10 months ago
Hard to tell - one is a cold lifeless being with great power, even greater difficulty to understand humans and a desire to blend in and the other is an android.
Load More Replies... #56
Life Finds A Way
April Pickett 10 months ago
We may yet do it. I'm waiting a year to see how it goes. So far, not well.
#57
I'm Still Waiting For This Truly Horrifying Version Of The Joker
Inigo Montoya 10 months ago
What we need is a Cesar Romero style Joker. The original Batman TV show rocked. And as I type this, I realize Sacha Baron would be about right!
Craig S. (EvilSausage) 10 months ago
You know what, I could maybe see it. I mean Sacha Baron Cohen is a chameleon. He's played such a diverse range of characters that I can't rule out the possibility that he might be good as The Joker.
#58
I'm Just Gonna Get A Little Bit Of Scurvy
Sky Render 10 months ago
I find it amusing that the opposite of "masculine" is "gay" in the minds of so many, as I have seen WAY more gay men who were genuinely masculine than straight ones.
Ace 10 months ago (edited)
Doing that to prove your manliness would be stupid, but that wasn't his reasoning. No, he actually adopted his Carnivore-only diet simply to p**s off all the Vegetarians and Vegans he was surrounded by at University, an altogether more laudable reason
Fellfromthemoon 10 months ago
Getting scurvy for showing that bastardly vegetarians and vegans doesn't seem to be more reasonable than getting scurvy as an evidence of manlyness.
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geezeronthehill 10 months ago
Lewis and Clark expedition suffered badly from an all meat diet. Constipation was the least of it.
afia kooma 10 months ago
A friend of mine used to look like Thor, now he only eats sheep meat and looks like death
detective miller's hat 10 months ago
I knew a guy in college who got scurvy because of his poor diet. He was shocked, like "people still get that??" Yeah buddy that's what happens when you live on literally nothing but rotisserie chickens.
#59
This Fits With My Theory That Church Is For People Who Have Done Somthing They Need To Be Forgiven For
Sky Render 10 months ago
Well I mean it wouldn't make much sense for a service provider to offer their services where nobody actually needs them, now would it?
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Why would they need signs in the Midwest to tell people that hell is real?
ZuriLovesYou 10 months ago
For me, it's those "HeII is Real" billboards, gun show billboards, and firework billboards.
Donna Peluda 10 months ago
I haven't seen anything in the Bible against d***s, maybe I missed something and good Samaritan was a dealer.
#60
A Classic And Words To Live By
TotallyNOTAFox 10 months ago (edited)
"Rage against the steam machine" was still the best classical orchestra back then
Craig S. (EvilSausage) 10 months ago
Not to be that guy, but the song is actually called "Killing in the Name"
#61
We Need A Return To Traditional Values On How To Deal With The Rich
Multa Nocte 10 months ago
Americans - I say this in all seriousness from southwest France - there are things that the US could make use of from other cultures. ;-)
Auntriarch 10 months ago
It amazing how you can get an entire open plan office to go quiet just by saying "how hard can it be to make a guillotine anyway"
Inservio Smurf 10 months ago
Silly child. That head will never fit into that flowerpot. Get a basket.
Sillywaster Stayalone 10 months ago
brrr....guillotine goes chop chop...royal heads does roll roll.....Robespierre then rule rule.....worse than those royal fools....guillotine goes chop chop......Robby's head too roll roll.....
justagirl 10 months ago
basically: Head chopping, bastille toppling, king popping.
Load More Replies... #62
Lifehack: Never Stop Crying=never Return To Work!
keyboardtek 10 months ago
Substitute "Catholic elementary school" for work and that describes my childhood.
Bettye McKee 10 months ago
Okay, that does it. if those are my options, I'm not returning to work.
afia kooma 10 months ago
In knorway, this is the reason why I dont have to work, i cry too much. Love socialism
#63
Is It Wrong To Lie To Doctors? Asking For A Friend
Bettye McKee 10 months ago
I never ever lie to my doctors. I don't always volunteer, but if they ask, I tell them the truth.
Apatheist Account2 10 months ago
Very sensible. It may inform their diagnosis, and if they don't know about it, they can't fix it.
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KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
People lie to doctors all the time - especially about drinking. Gamma GT is your telltale liver enzyme and it cannot be cheated. Cotinine tests will tell if you have smoked in the last 3 months. Your hair will say how long ago you took recs.
CP 10 months ago
Most people don't have empathy and think their life is the standard everyone should live by. I didn't do d***s, therefor no one should have done d***s. Even worse is when people do get over it and then act like everyone should be able. The sooner you learn everyone isn't you the better off you will be.
Load More Replies... #64
X-Mas Is Almost Over! It's Time To Get Back To The Regularly Scheduled Suffering
#65
If Cats Have Taught Us Anything, There's Nothing Wrong With A Good Box
#66
According To This I'm Chaotic Good, But I Want To Be Chaotic Neutral
James016 10 months ago
At home I am lawful neutral but in the office it is neutral good with the laptop screen underneath which does not fit into this.
Donna Peluda 10 months ago
The chaotic evil is my setup. Some of the equipment I work have portrait displays. Not quite set like that got the two horizontal then to the left two portrait, and on my desk a small touchscreen. So I guess I'm evil
MotherofGuineaPigs 10 months ago
I'm not sure what I am - Large monitor, small monitor and laptop
#67
Why? Just... Why?
Inigo Montoya 10 months ago
"phys" translates to "nature". "Co" means "with". And "path" means "disease". So "nature with disease". You're welcome!
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Sillywaster Stayalone 10 months ago
To send it over whatsapp, when office computer does not allow you to access whatsapp
SweetCheesySpaghetti 10 months ago
When people screenshot their camera roll instead of just sharing the goshdam photo.
#68
And Now This!
Forrest Hobbs 10 months ago
Argh. "There are fewer rules than you think." The word is "fewer"! Don't talk to me about jokes, my blood pressure has already just gone into the danger zone. 😉
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 10 months ago
You probably need some exercise. Run Forrest, run.
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nottheactualphoto 10 months ago
My house doesn't wear shoes. As far as I know.
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#69
Isn't That Nice For Them, Would've Been Ashame If They Missed It
Manana Man 10 months ago
Things BP loves to hate: boomers, Americans, capitalism. Things worth hating: smugness, condescension, fatalism.
keyboardtek 10 months ago
Time to remove one's head from the sand and view what is currently going on in America.
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roddy 10 months ago
Our generation is the one that started the ecological movement. Who saw the paving of paradise and fought against it. Now we are old and want to pass the torch. But the young won't step up, because they think the world is over and there's nothing to be done. They can just sit back and complain. Down the road their children and grandchildren will blame them for giving up and doing nothing. They will be the new boomers, the new environment killers. Karma.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
Loath that word I’m 60 fr from old the word boomer is highly offensive !
nottheactualphoto 10 months ago
Since it's become a term of derision, yes.
Load More Replies... Lyone Fein 10 months ago
Not all Americans, boomers, insert-group-you-like-to-hate-on-here are the same.
Hassel Davidhoff 10 months ago (edited)
Doesn't matter what generation you're in. The ones destroying the environment are for profit corporations. While boomers did do a lot in terms of participating in the civil rights movement and the ecological movement, they did not murder a single CEO. Just sayin'.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 10 months ago
In my country, at least one CEO was murdered by boomers. (Schleyer, 1977)
Load More Replies... afia kooma 10 months ago
I hate the scientists wjo drilled miles long boreholes into the arctic ice. Guess where the weak spots are
Michael Largey 10 months ago (edited)
Isn't it highly discriminatory that visiting the Great Barrier Reef has always been exclusively restricted to boomers?
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What do you think ?
D Gibson 9 months ago
I totally agree with you. I find the title offensive on a few levels.
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D Gibson 9 months ago
The title of this article is offensive to people who rely on medication to cope on a day to day basis.. There is nothing funny about this. I don't know if it is a problem with the difference between English and whatever language the writer uses, or plain ignorance & very poor judgment.
Sand Ers 8 months ago
It's ignorance and poor judgement. They've been called out for it enough times that's there's no ambiguity.
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Sand Ers 10 months ago
There is abso-fucķìng-lutely nothing funny about people being "off their meds". Whoever wrote that headline can go fùck themselves.
D Gibson 9 months ago
I totally agree with you. I find the title offensive on a few levels.
Load More Replies... D Gibson 9 months ago
The title of this article is offensive to people who rely on medication to cope on a day to day basis.. There is nothing funny about this. I don't know if it is a problem with the difference between English and whatever language the writer uses, or plain ignorance & very poor judgment.
Sand Ers 8 months ago
It's ignorance and poor judgement. They've been called out for it enough times that's there's no ambiguity.
Load More Replies... Sand Ers 10 months ago
There is abso-fucķìng-lutely nothing funny about people being "off their meds". Whoever wrote that headline can go fùck themselves.
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