You don't really have to eat them

Then try to speak to your attacker about it. He will flee from you I guarantee it.

Tell them you're vegan, they'll run just as quick /j

Try to convince your attacker to become vegan. He'll run away. ..or even better, pretend you are a Jehova's witness

then hope they're made out of tofu

Don't tell them!

"Thank you Lord for the meal I'm about to feed to [insert herbivorus/omnivorus individual/s]" & inform the attacker that you are very proud of their willingness to provide their body and that you'll make sure that nothing is going to be thrown away.

You do realise this is a pretence, you don't actually eat them 😂 but you could attack then to see if they are carrying any plant based products upon their person ... random radishes, hidden carrots. You never know! If all else fails steal their wallet; go but a plant burger and a few Metallica albums.

You have to put them on a vegetative state before eating them

How will they know? Nobody has to know.

It's an empty threat.

Then replace “Lord” with Thor, Odin, Tuatha du Danaan, or whatever deity(ies) you worship…. Might make it scarier too.

It's OK, because we're all humanitarians, right? ;)

Use dirt and plant them, you'll get fresh greens

They don't know that 😉🤫

Vegans don't use forks?!

Just knock them on the head till they become a vegetable?

Theres a first for everything

then you hope you get robbed by a piece of lettuce

Well son You will be the one to be eaten

Or atheist?.

If we have to explain why that is not relevant... the gene pool thanks you for your sacrifice

Hope they are a Swede

Answer: "Looks like meats back on the menu boys!"

eat another Vegan?

Do it anyways

They don't need to know that.

You thank Seitan instead!

Your Fifth Amendment rights will protect you for the time being.

Google bluff.

just make sure they are organic!

Give him serious brain trauma and make him a vegetable

Vegans use forks lol

Remember, Not Being Vegan will Save your life!

Run at the nearest tree

Herbivores tend to be near the bottom of the food chain.

Just tell them. That should do the trick

Then just lay down and cry I guess. Maybe depending on your level of veganism you can just eat their hair and lashes? Theres animal product in them but not much right? Spaghetti

You're not ACTUALLY supposed to eat them...

Pick up some grass and chuck it at them

even better

🤦‍♂️

They don’t need to know that 💀

Whoa man relax, no need to go all crazy!

He listens to vegan's prayers too

Then you will die...as the good Lord intended /s

It's survival, man! /j

A would-be attacker probably doesn't know that, unless it's someone who knows you pretty well. :)

dont actually eat them!!!

They won't know unless you tell them.

they don't know that

Eat only their clothes.

Eat a s s

Is he going to stop and ask?

Funny

It’ll still work against me, that’s for sure. Why is mug people though, I haven’t the slightest

Too bad

Eat their sneakers.

Vegans don't use forks?

Only a freaking vegan would say that and then tell their mugger they're vegan....(eye roll)

Carry a spoon..

Eh, Just feed it to Audrey that plants always hungry 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

fake it tilll you make it

They don't have to know that.

They don't know that!

Use a carrot?

it's called natural selection

You need not tell the robber that.

They would not know that?

Another reason why vegans are f****d