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White Woman Lists All The Things She Had To Learn After Marrying A Black Man, Goes Viral
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Pamela Chandler got seriously fed up with all the posts in her social media feeds arguing that ‘racism isn’t a thing’. People in her online social circles were saying they are tired of the protests and didn’t understand Black Lives Matter. So, to give everyone a chance to broaden their worldview, Pamela — a white woman who is married to a black man — shared an open letter on Facebook about how racism has shaped her family’s everyday life.
And it really resonated with people. Pamela’s post has received over 124,000 reactions and 127,00 shares, and the numbers just keep getting bigger.
Image credits: Pamela Chandler
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Image credits: Walter Chandler
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Image credits: Pamela Chandler
Image credits: Walter Chandler
“Me and Walter met seven years ago on Twitter,” Pamela told Bored Panda. “He retweeted something I wrote, we started talking and never stopped.”
Fast forward a year after the two of them started chatting online, and Walter moved from the Bronx in New York City to Ohio to marry Pamela. The similarities in their sense of humor and core values, like faith, love, and family, were just too strong.
Image credits: Walter Chandler
The woman has received so much positive feedback over her post that she even created a family blog, called The Chandler Crew to connect with like-minded people all over the globe.
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But as much as Pamela is happy that she got people to talk about such a difficult subject, she is still bothered it was her, a white woman, whose perspective has been going viral when “plenty of people of color have spoken to these issues many times.”
Image credits: Walter Chandler
“I’ve always known that we [as a society] needed to work for more racial unity but I got an inside and unique perspective of what it’s like to live as a different race by being married to a black man,” Pamela explained.
However, the woman doesn’t think that our racial problems are too big for us; Pamela still believes we can untangle them. “I see society improving. People are willing to talk about it, engage, learn, and try to be better humans. I think we are all trending upwards as a society, and I think that’s great.”
But still, it bothers her that it’s her perspective — that of a white woman — that’s going viral when “plenty of people of color have spoken to these issues many times.”
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RELATED:
Here’s what people said after reading Pamela’s post
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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.
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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.
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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
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What do you think ?
Shelp 4 years ago
Once again, the only thing I want to say is: the US is such a f****d-up country
varwenea 4 years ago
I live here and it has become so much worse since the orange one sitting in the white house.
Load More Replies...
Petra Schaap 4 years ago
slackjack; if you have so much money and power and you CHOOSE to look like that, you deserve to be made fun of
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
slackjack There is a difference between natural skin colour and too much fake tan. Otherwise I would agree with you.
abby smink 4 years ago
He pretty much normalized bigotry and hatred, empowering people to let their racist flag fly, so to speak.
Rissie 4 years ago
It's a miracle that it's not even worse than it is to be honest. To have a blatant racist in office is a confirmation to stupid bigots that their views are widely accepted. Which they are not, racism is an extremist view of the world. I hope people will learn, once and for all, that having money is in no shape or form a guarantee that the owner has a clue about the world. Donald Trump is not this savvy business man, he was lucky coming from money and having a name people associated with this family. That's all there is. And to be relatively succesful in real estate, like his father was, does not require rocket science either. These are not smart people. They just learned a few tricks and could not explain what they really did anyway.
Jim Takahashi 4 years ago
Trump is a very symbolic book cover of AmeriKKKa. The core of the problem is not Trump, but the nation that elected him. White AmeriKKKa is rotten to the core. Word-And-i...f7c981.jpg 
John Smith 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
No, varwenea, it has not actually "become so much worse" .... the 4 year Liberal media meltdown/temper tantrum IS to blame. Obama was terrible--thank God there are term limits.
Bill Newsome 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Varwenea, How is it worse? More blacks working and less on welfare than ever before. That is bad? How has Trump hurt blacks? Racism is worse? Prove it.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago
Yes it is! You don't see this much hate and every day racism and corruption in other countries. I can't speak for every country but the ones I have seen weren't like this.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago
You are right, countries in war are a different matter tough. I was speaking about "peacefull" places. If you can call that peacefull. First world countries if you like. Countries, where it should be safe for everyone to live in, not only white people. Countries where everyone who is willing should get the same chance at a good life.
Chelseayaknow 4 years ago
Um what!?!?! Are you serious? How can someone possibly say there is not this much hate in other countries!? I am baffled by these comments on bored panda anymore. Do you have any clue what happens to people in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, etc.. What am I reading right now!?!
Karin Jansen 4 years ago
I'm afraid that a lot of this unintentional racism can be found in any country. Think about the park bench and crossing the street (though, you might wonder if a white 6'5 man wouldn't get the same treatment on accasion). I'm sure many Europeans, especially the older ones, would act the same. People are just scared of what they don't know and the biggest problem might be that all to often we live 'apart/ together'. White people with predominantly white friends, black people with predominantly black friends, white/black neighbors, schools, etc. It's insane how few couples there still are of mixed race!
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Well, show me a country where it's all roses for mixed families.
blugeagua 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
There is racism in ANY country. Its not just the US
Bill Newsome 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Shelp, where are you from? Blacks do better in this country than any other country. Compare blacks here to blacks in Africa.
John Smith 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Kudos to this interracial family. And kudos to this black man being one of the 25% of black men that sticks around to father his children. Yes, black men AREN'T around to raise their children 75% of the time!!?? Truth.
Potato 4 years ago
What's your intention with throwing out that accusation? Doing anything you can to try to make black people look bad, or like they deserve this treatment? Hey, I can list numbers too: Of the 758 inmates in a particular men's prison, a disproportionate number of both child molesters and rapists were white (n = 171 vs 35 black men).
blugeagua 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
thats because the majority of them are in prisons for crimes they either did not commit or they commited a crime so innocuous that they should have gotten a few months, but because of systemic racism, they get literal years instead.
kurisutofu 4 years ago
The difference is that it's your choice based on your values while for a black guy, it's because it's an hostile environment.
Load More Replies... Rissie 4 years ago
I can assure you that these people are just hostile in general. If you're not one of them, you better stay away. If you're black it's just a lot worse. People who need flags to identify to a group are people who actively hate everything that's different and skin color is just too easy to spot for the dumb forks. Oopsie.
RaroaRaroa 4 years ago
But Rissie, it you're white and don't interact with them, they don't know if you think like they do and won't even notice you. A black man walking by will be noticed and will feel unsafe.
MelodieLoo 4 years ago (edited)
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I was a really❤❤ bad..g︆︆irl. ❤❤ Pu︆︆nish me with your di︆︆ck❤❤ in my mo︆︆uth!! >> g︆︆︆︆g.︆︆︆︆gg/kl2h6
Carrie de Luka 4 years ago
Don't quite understand why the greetings card thing is a problem. Pick ones without people on them! Never understood why anyone wants random strangers or depictions of people they don't know on cards anyway. Go with the scenes of nature, animals, or weird and wonderful images - there is so much choice. Create your own! Also, and more seriously, any fella who looks like he's on his own gets eyed up warily by parents.
deanna woods 4 years ago
I didn't get that either. I don't even get greeting cards with people on them.
Load More Replies... Monika Soffronow 4 years ago
As she says, there are plenty of white dolls to choose from but only one or two that are black or mixed race. There are plenty of greeting cards with white couples on them, a few with black couples, and NONE with interracial couples. What do you not understand?
Rissie 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
@blugeagua, but if Christmas cards are your best (or worst) example, you are not making a point come across very clearly and are taking away the attention from the real problem.
Cold Contagious 4 years ago
Now that it's been brought to my attention, I've never seen any cute, weird, or funny, cartoon-ish, greeting cards with African American people on them either. While it's not blatantly racist, I think it's a matter of not placing any value on a large group of our society. Anytime we offer a product marketed to only one ethnic group and not including others, it can lead to another brick in a metaphorical wall between ppl as a whole. Even the smallest of children notice these things easily and they ask about these things. Somehow as people grow older there's a disconnect at some point and we stop caring.
RaroaRaroa 4 years ago
It comes down to many forms of adverstising too. Imagine being a black kid, watching tv and only seeing white people with the nice toys and driving the fancy cars. That is improving slowly now, but for a long time, coloured people just didn't appear in most ads.
Kit Cassidy 4 years ago
There aren't as many, that is for sure, especially in brick-and-mortar stores. Personally, I like the Mahogany line of cards for this, and African American Expressions has many great cards and gifts.
RaroaRaroa 4 years ago
It's not so much needing to buy them as the fact that most card makers don't even consider makiing them. Why not?
Rissie 4 years ago
There are several points on these list that are not actual problems let alone racial issues. It can become a choice to focus on negatives.
Eagle Girl 4 years ago (edited)
Oooh, prepare to be eviscerated **Edit~ why the downvotes? You disappoint me Pandas? Rissie just proved the point of the post. What is not "an actual problem" to whites is passive aggressive racism to minorities
Eagle Girl 4 years ago
Grumble O'Pug ~ Exactly. Did the Pandemic draw out the bad people to our formerly lovable Panda?
Grumble O'Pug 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I think you are missing the point. Sorry for you.
Rosie Hamilton 4 years ago
People can make additional or side points... who are you? The points police?
Shelp 4 years ago
Once again, the only thing I want to say is: the US is such a f****d-up country
varwenea 4 years ago
I live here and it has become so much worse since the orange one sitting in the white house.
Load More Replies... Petra Schaap 4 years ago
slackjack; if you have so much money and power and you CHOOSE to look like that, you deserve to be made fun of
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
slackjack There is a difference between natural skin colour and too much fake tan. Otherwise I would agree with you.
abby smink 4 years ago
He pretty much normalized bigotry and hatred, empowering people to let their racist flag fly, so to speak.
Rissie 4 years ago
It's a miracle that it's not even worse than it is to be honest. To have a blatant racist in office is a confirmation to stupid bigots that their views are widely accepted. Which they are not, racism is an extremist view of the world. I hope people will learn, once and for all, that having money is in no shape or form a guarantee that the owner has a clue about the world. Donald Trump is not this savvy business man, he was lucky coming from money and having a name people associated with this family. That's all there is. And to be relatively succesful in real estate, like his father was, does not require rocket science either. These are not smart people. They just learned a few tricks and could not explain what they really did anyway.
Jim Takahashi 4 years ago
Trump is a very symbolic book cover of AmeriKKKa. The core of the problem is not Trump, but the nation that elected him. White AmeriKKKa is rotten to the core. Word-And-i...f7c981.jpg
John Smith 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
No, varwenea, it has not actually "become so much worse" .... the 4 year Liberal media meltdown/temper tantrum IS to blame. Obama was terrible--thank God there are term limits.
Bill Newsome 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Varwenea, How is it worse? More blacks working and less on welfare than ever before. That is bad? How has Trump hurt blacks? Racism is worse? Prove it.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago
Yes it is! You don't see this much hate and every day racism and corruption in other countries. I can't speak for every country but the ones I have seen weren't like this.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago
You are right, countries in war are a different matter tough. I was speaking about "peacefull" places. If you can call that peacefull. First world countries if you like. Countries, where it should be safe for everyone to live in, not only white people. Countries where everyone who is willing should get the same chance at a good life.
Chelseayaknow 4 years ago
Um what!?!?! Are you serious? How can someone possibly say there is not this much hate in other countries!? I am baffled by these comments on bored panda anymore. Do you have any clue what happens to people in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, etc.. What am I reading right now!?!
Karin Jansen 4 years ago
I'm afraid that a lot of this unintentional racism can be found in any country. Think about the park bench and crossing the street (though, you might wonder if a white 6'5 man wouldn't get the same treatment on accasion). I'm sure many Europeans, especially the older ones, would act the same. People are just scared of what they don't know and the biggest problem might be that all to often we live 'apart/ together'. White people with predominantly white friends, black people with predominantly black friends, white/black neighbors, schools, etc. It's insane how few couples there still are of mixed race!
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Well, show me a country where it's all roses for mixed families.
blugeagua 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
There is racism in ANY country. Its not just the US
Bill Newsome 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Shelp, where are you from? Blacks do better in this country than any other country. Compare blacks here to blacks in Africa.
John Smith 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Kudos to this interracial family. And kudos to this black man being one of the 25% of black men that sticks around to father his children. Yes, black men AREN'T around to raise their children 75% of the time!!?? Truth.
Potato 4 years ago
What's your intention with throwing out that accusation? Doing anything you can to try to make black people look bad, or like they deserve this treatment? Hey, I can list numbers too: Of the 758 inmates in a particular men's prison, a disproportionate number of both child molesters and rapists were white (n = 171 vs 35 black men).
blugeagua 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
thats because the majority of them are in prisons for crimes they either did not commit or they commited a crime so innocuous that they should have gotten a few months, but because of systemic racism, they get literal years instead.
kurisutofu 4 years ago
The difference is that it's your choice based on your values while for a black guy, it's because it's an hostile environment.
Load More Replies... Rissie 4 years ago
I can assure you that these people are just hostile in general. If you're not one of them, you better stay away. If you're black it's just a lot worse. People who need flags to identify to a group are people who actively hate everything that's different and skin color is just too easy to spot for the dumb forks. Oopsie.
RaroaRaroa 4 years ago
But Rissie, it you're white and don't interact with them, they don't know if you think like they do and won't even notice you. A black man walking by will be noticed and will feel unsafe.
MelodieLoo 4 years ago (edited)
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I was a really❤❤ bad..g︆︆irl. ❤❤ Pu︆︆nish me with your di︆︆ck❤❤ in my mo︆︆uth!! >> g︆︆︆︆g.︆︆︆︆gg/kl2h6
Carrie de Luka 4 years ago
Don't quite understand why the greetings card thing is a problem. Pick ones without people on them! Never understood why anyone wants random strangers or depictions of people they don't know on cards anyway. Go with the scenes of nature, animals, or weird and wonderful images - there is so much choice. Create your own! Also, and more seriously, any fella who looks like he's on his own gets eyed up warily by parents.
deanna woods 4 years ago
I didn't get that either. I don't even get greeting cards with people on them.
Load More Replies... Monika Soffronow 4 years ago
As she says, there are plenty of white dolls to choose from but only one or two that are black or mixed race. There are plenty of greeting cards with white couples on them, a few with black couples, and NONE with interracial couples. What do you not understand?
Rissie 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
@blugeagua, but if Christmas cards are your best (or worst) example, you are not making a point come across very clearly and are taking away the attention from the real problem.
Cold Contagious 4 years ago
Now that it's been brought to my attention, I've never seen any cute, weird, or funny, cartoon-ish, greeting cards with African American people on them either. While it's not blatantly racist, I think it's a matter of not placing any value on a large group of our society. Anytime we offer a product marketed to only one ethnic group and not including others, it can lead to another brick in a metaphorical wall between ppl as a whole. Even the smallest of children notice these things easily and they ask about these things. Somehow as people grow older there's a disconnect at some point and we stop caring.
RaroaRaroa 4 years ago
It comes down to many forms of adverstising too. Imagine being a black kid, watching tv and only seeing white people with the nice toys and driving the fancy cars. That is improving slowly now, but for a long time, coloured people just didn't appear in most ads.
Kit Cassidy 4 years ago
There aren't as many, that is for sure, especially in brick-and-mortar stores. Personally, I like the Mahogany line of cards for this, and African American Expressions has many great cards and gifts.
RaroaRaroa 4 years ago
It's not so much needing to buy them as the fact that most card makers don't even consider makiing them. Why not?
Rissie 4 years ago
There are several points on these list that are not actual problems let alone racial issues. It can become a choice to focus on negatives.
Eagle Girl 4 years ago (edited)
Oooh, prepare to be eviscerated **Edit~ why the downvotes? You disappoint me Pandas? Rissie just proved the point of the post. What is not "an actual problem" to whites is passive aggressive racism to minorities
Eagle Girl 4 years ago
Grumble O'Pug ~ Exactly. Did the Pandemic draw out the bad people to our formerly lovable Panda?
Grumble O'Pug 4 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I think you are missing the point. Sorry for you.
Rosie Hamilton 4 years ago
People can make additional or side points... who are you? The points police?
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