Since when is Asian cooking not "real" cooking? I think someone here let her "French cuisine" dreams distort her reality. SIL was out of line. Not her kitchen, not her cooking, NOT HER PLACE. That's basic COURTESY in any kitchen. She'd make a rotten head chef if she can't handle how anyone else does anything, anyway, IMHO.

If this is not the perfect example of the "Butterfly effect", I don't know what is. Just for completion: Your wife should have been in your corner from the very beginning; asking you to apologize while her sister is constantly belittling you is just not acceptable. So, big A**hole trophy goes to your SIL, but a tiny bit of that also goes to your wife.

NTA. If Sarah had even once attempted to cook a traditional Chinese dish, she would know how complex, yet nuanced Chinese cooking really is. The only reason for her remarks is racism, period.

Obviously, NTA, nuff said.

oh, contrare!!! asian cuisine is hardly easy to do correctly, especially if you don't have the kitchen set up for it. for those, like me, who were determined to learn this exquisite cuisine, you learn how to do it literally the hard way without the proper equipment. that being said, the SIL is definitely the a-hole w/FIL coming in a close second. sincerely hope his wife accepts that some of her family are jerks & continues to support her husband.

The SIL must know that the OP is also a professionally trained chef. So everything she has been saying about his technique is rude and condescending. And everything that she has mentioned regarding race/ethnicity and national origin of him and/or is clearly racist. Glad it's coming back to bite her in the ass.

yeah, don't apologise

Her comment was not based on comparing the cuisines. It was a thinly veiled racist comment that she felt/knew would be bolstered by at least part of her family. She picked the fight and it was poorly picked. My assumption, therefore, is that she is a garbage human who is bad at humaning, social sensitivity, probably cooking and definitely war. Poorly chosen.

SIL's attitude that Asian cooking doesn't count is way off. How many people in the world eat Asian food every day and how many eat French? Her remark was also definitely racist as proven by her later tirade at her sister.

French chefs (by which I do not mean chefs who happen to be French) are the most arrogant. Not all of them but if you meet a chef who thinks they are God's gift and the only person who knows anything they're always a French Chef. I don't know much about Bourdain as a person but I would bet good money that if she'd pulled that s**t within earshot Ramsay would have told her she was being a d**k and probably a lot less politely than her BIL did.

I was at my Grandfather's house and he is using racial slurs left and right. The n-word, calling people monkeys, etc. My sister's boyfriend was with her and he is white, but his two younger siblings are mixed race and I politely tried to get my grandfather to stop. Then one night I shouted, if you say that word one more time it is the last time you will ever see me. He said it, I got a ride to the airport and haven't spoken to him in 7 years. There is this lie that family is the most important and you should love them no matter what. No, screw that. I will never sit there and listen to that again and all my family I have cut off know exactly why I did. It is their choice and if they decide that their bigotry is more important than I am then that was their choice, not mine, and I have no problem never speaking to them again. Just what if you have kids? I would never allow my children to ever have contact with certain members of my family. Absolutely not.

It’s only a “war” for one reason: the racists want to continue being racist, and are fighting do so, even to the point of alienating family members. They hate their daughter’s/sister’s/cousin’s husband more than they love her.

That's not Norrington.

Not only is the SIL acting like a racist she's also not acting like a chef. The greatest gift one chef can give to another is their cooking. Its the same as a painter doing a piece specifically for another painter. If a chef is close to another, they invite them to cook with them and teach them their technique so their friend can now be better. A true chef is thankful for the gift of the food. If someone gives you the food equivalent of the kindergarten picture, its still worthy of your fridge because of the love behind it. A true chef knows that Chinese hand pulled noodles takes as much technique as the hardest French pastry and a properly prepared Peking duck takes more skill than coq au vin. The SIL criticism of technique and dishes are also racist. For instance, it is more common in some Asian cultures to peel with the knife going away from you while its much more common in western cuisine to peel by pulling the blade towards you. A chef does not belittle another chef because they do something different. Instead they try to learn it that way. Harder to cut your palm if the knife is moving away.

Update: It's worth reading yourself, but the family (and extended family) has been torn asunder along predictable political lines. Sarah is out of a job and FIL is out of a wife. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o5pzzy/aita_for_calling_my_sil_a_racist_after_she/

Good Chinese, Indian, English, French, American, whatever, if done well, is no better or worse than any other. The emphasise is on" the good, done well." Each has its merits and to denigrate one over another, is just ignorance!

Did the ‘whole world’ need to know about what was a family argument, families argue everyday if what is said within the home is now fair game to shame people publicly and potentially cause them to lose their livelihood then we are all screwed

Sounds like Sarah is reading a harvest from a crazy load of bad seeds she's sown for quite a while

Well Sarah is a c**t and the whole of the Internet is on your side dude, that is how the cookie crumbles and she deserves all the s**t she got ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chinese food is awesome. No offense to the French, but French food kinda makes me want to barf. maybe if I became more of a smug asshole, French food would taste better?