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Sometimes, when we’re at our most vulnerable, the most innocent question can hit us deep in the feels. And stay there forever.
Whether it’s your child asking if you could come back to a store for a toy when you have enough money, or a stranger wondering if “you’re a girl with a hot sister?”, some questions are heartbreakingly sweet, others painfully arrogant, and some plain evil.
So when a Reddit user asked people to share that one question someone asked them that secretly broke their heart, people had a lot to share. After all, as much as words have a healing power, they can also hurt us really badly.
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#1
"You've never beaten me or told me I couldn't do something. Is that normal?"
My first girlfriend told me that. I have never felt such a wave of anger, sadness, and heartbreak wash over me like I did when I heard that
DC 3 years ago
Understandable. Everybody knows that there's a lot of violence behind closed doors, from the ones closest to the victims, but a victim questioning whether it is normal NOT to be beaten and ridiculed and stuff ... likely, she went through a lot she did neither deserve, nor is deserving or not even the question that is most relevant here - you don't beat what you love, you don't beat anyone, anything, anywho anyway in the first place ... very few exceptions like self defense, or assisting in other people's, ... It's not only heartbreaking how normal people who were victims of abuse assume it is normal, it's also implying a very harsh judgement about her home when she was a child - did her father NOT beat her mother? I bet he did ... you won't just randomly take these things as normal without reason.
#2
I have a stutter, when I was a kid I had to read a page of a book to the class. I stuttered, and the teacher said 'can you even read' and that [friggin] broke my 13 year old heart. No one takes stuttering seriously.
#3
As we passed the toy aisle at the store, “I know you don’t have much money right now, but maybe when you get some we could come back and get a toy?”
I was not doing well financially back then and my daughter brought me to tears in the middle of the store.
Communication is a form of art, and knowing what to say and ask at the right time is crucial in nailing it. So in order to find out the psychology behind heartbreaking questions, Bored Panda reached out to Lynn How, the author of “Positive Young Minds” who specializes in supporting parents, teachers, and children navigating through mental health issues and prevention.
#4
First day of preschool for my three year old son. The first time he would ever be away from Mom & Dad at the same time.
I brought him to the room and expected a meltdown, but instead he confidently strutted, and I do mean strutted into the classroom.
Three hours later, I picked him up. He was ok until we got to the car when he said, in quiet sad voice "l thought you were coming with," followed by an even sadder quieter "Why did you leave me?"
Ninja Nonna 3 years ago
Tears in my eyes. My son's first Kindy day, "I kept looking for you..."
Hans 3 years ago
"Because I had confidence in you, and because I would have picked you up whenever you would have me called."
VidaLife 3 years ago
Thank you Hans. I dont know if you're a stoic and often your posts are very polarizing but I genuinely appreciate your level-headedness and ability to put down emotion.
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Henny Hana 3 years ago
When my daughter went to kindergarten, me and her little sister stayed outside her class for a week. It was our agreement that i will stay but only for a week to get her to get used to it.
Anne Mitchell 3 years ago
Exactly the reason why I always told my kids who was going where, why and when we would be back. Never, ever had a problem of a tear.
Jan Smith 3 years ago (edited)
needed to be explained, more than once and when you arrived, that you would leave them! my mum made sure i was fully prepared and was never a problem
KatHat 3 years ago
Yes, this. Kids need a LOT of explaining including basic stuff that might seem obvious. Picture stories are easy to make and can be fabulous for kids with learning difficulties or who are extra anxious.
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Vicky Zar 3 years ago
We have acclimatisation periods in Kinderkarten (that's before preschool). They depend on the child. First Mom or Dad stays with them in their group. That goes on for maybe a week or two. Then Mom/ Dad will start to go outside for a bit to let the Kid get used to being without them. This period gets longer and longer until the kid can stay the full time without Mom/ Dad.
Fluffy Griffin 3 years ago
At my kids school, parents couldn't even come in the building on the first day of kindergarten. "To chaotic". This was pre covid. Also, the school days for K are the same as the rest of grades. (No half-days like they had in the 80-90s)
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Emily Phillips 3 years ago
My son starts preschool in August. It will be the first time he's been away from me since he was born. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet
Arctic Fox Lover 3 years ago
I wanna wrap my arms around that boi and give him the warmest, most pleasant hug :0
InfectedVoice 3 years ago
I was a loud and confident kid, but apparently I cried on my first day of play-group and begged my mum not to leave me.
#5
We had some kind of talent show in elementary school and and all the parents sat in the gym and watched us, everybody had someone there except me, so this kid in my class asked where my family was and I just shrugged my shoulders and he asked "Doesn't anyone love you?" and I had to excuse myself and cry in the bathroom, because I knew he was right, nobody loved me. I had tried to keep it a secret and I was terrified that everyone at school would know.
#6
When I worked in a juvenile residential drug rehab, a 12 year old asked me why everyone had a problem with her boyfriend. He was 32.
She had been so mistreated and abused, she legitimately couldn't comprehend the problem everyone had with their relationship.
Priscilla Reshell 3 years ago
she will know why it wasn't a good thing when she's older. I feel so bad for the kid
“It is always a good idea to think carefully before asking a question,” Lynn warned and continued: “There are so many variables to consider such as, is my question too personal? Do I know the person well enough to ask this question? Should I ask this question in private rather than in front of others? Do I really need to know the answer?”
Moreover, according to Lynn How, some questions can easily be taken to be offensive or out of context, even if no offense was meant. “Sometimes well-meaning people can ask something and be surprised by the blunt response! Sometimes we answer the question politely but are secretly dying inside due to sadness or embarrassment.”
Even though it is sometimes difficult to distinguish what would offend one person and not another, Lynn suggests giving it a quick forethought is a way to go about it.
#7
My aunt asked me "why are your crying? You’re supposed to be a man" I was crying because my 2 years old niece got a second degree burn and I could hear her screaming from the doctor's office
#8
I finally got out of an abusive relationship after many years. When I finally did my mom said you're a hard person to like and nobody else will love you. Do you really think you deserve better ?
#9
I was like 22 and it was probably 10pm or so at a Walmart. I was on my way to a party and stopped for beer. The store was fairly empty and as I was in the beer aisle, I see this kid completely by himself.
He was about 5 and at first I thought it was kind of funny because he was trying to pick up a case of beer. I waited like 30-60 seconds, looking around for this kid’s mom/dad to come get him. A couple people walked right by him like it was normal, so then I started getting worried. I picked up my two cases of beer and walked over and kindly asked him if he lost his mom or needed help.
The kid completely ignored the question and instead was thoroughly impressed that I was strong enough to carry two cases of beer. Eventually an employee noticed and came over as well. I told her everything I knew and she took over and told him that she was going to bring him to find his mom.
As he was walking away he kept looking back at me and I smiled and said goodbye. The kid stopped and said “can I just come home with you? I don’t like my mom.”
I was caught off guard so I just laughed and told him the lady was going to help him. Now I’ll never know the full story, or what happened to him but the more I think about it - that kid more than likely had a pretty sh*tty childhood. I mean, the store wasn’t busy and it was late at night on a weekday. It really makes you wonder why he was there in the first place, how he got separated from his mom and why would he ask to go with a complete stranger instead of worrying about where his mom was?
It still makes me sad. Hope everything worked out for the little dude.
On the other hand, there are many questions that are better left untouched. “There are a myriad of untouchable subjects that I've gleaned from various life experiences,” Lynn recounted and added that “I am certainly much better at question filtering than I was in my 20s. For example, having gone through fertility treatment, I would never ask someone why they were not pregnant yet because I know firsthand how upsetting it is.”
Lynn said that other taboo subjects include weight, relationships, salary, and age. “Of course, when it's your best friend, you can ask more deep and meaningful questions in comparison to someone you have just met,” she added.
#10
My dad was active in the local Japanese community assisting new immigrants from Japan to get acclimated to living in Hawaii showing them the various neighborhoods, churches, schools, shopping areas etc. When WW2 broke out, he was arrested for this activity and was imprisoned in the Mainland for 5 years. At grade school, our teacher asked me in front of the entire class how it felt to be the son of a traitor to the US?
#11
"Wait, aren't you going to hit me?"
I worked as a music teacher, and had a 15 year old student who originally came from an African country play a passage incorrectly on the instrument repeatedly. We only had one instrument of the kind she played, so I reached out my hand and asked her to hand me the instrument over to show her, when she saw me playing, she asked me that question with genuine confusion, and I realised what hell her school life in her home country had been.
She not only thought I would hit her for not playing correctly, but also that she deserved it.
I felt like crying when I got home that night.
#12
I was having fertility problems and couldn’t get pregnant after 4 yrs of trying. A child once asked me “Do you think there just aren’t any babies who want you to be their mother?”
Kristof De Smet 3 years ago
We had been trying for more than 2 years when a colleague became a father for the third time. Everybody happy and asking if we weren't going to have kids. Had a mental breakdown. I feel your pain. But now, I am a father of three beautiful daughters, I am certain all will be well in the end.
It’s important to understand that words can easily become weapons when they are not said by someone with good intentions, argues Lynn. “I would consider that these stem from a person's own insecurities and issues if they feel they need to use their words to make another person feel bad.”
#13
Had a 4 year old child who had been horribly abused and passed from family member to family member why no one loved him. It was so heart breaking and made me hate his family so much more. With my help his aunt was able to gain full custody and got him into counseling. He's doing much better now and is still with his aunt who is doing everything she can to give him a good life
#14
My grandmother leaned to me and asked, "Did Dan die?"
We were at a family gathering and she didn't see my uncle Dan. He had passed away the previous year. Grandma's descent into dementia was in the very early stages. There were several layers of heartbreak.
#15
My five-year-old niece: Why am I'm so ugly that mommy doesn't love me?
Nela Rothenbach 3 years ago
My cousin once asked my mother if she had still loved me even if I got bad grades....broke both our hearts.
“Personally, I have no time for these people and have in the past explained that I felt that their question was inappropriate (I have also considered in these instances if I am just being over-sensitive!). If someone is a repeat offender, they don't stay in my life very long!”
Unfortunately, things are more difficult if the person is a member of your family. “A simple 'should you be eating that?' can be enough to raise a person's blood pressure! In which case I would suggest a polite but firm explanation as to why you find their questioning offensive,” Lynn concluded.
#16
“Can I wish for my sister?” - A 10-year-old student of mine whose big sister died 4 years ago. We were working on an activity about dreams and aspirations for their futures.
#17
My ex asked me what I liked to do with my family growing up.
Made me realize my family never did anything together and I literally had no answer to such a basic question.
#18
A few years ago I was at a small family gathering. We had them fairly often. Just me, my siblings, parents and niece's and nephew.
I remember going out the back for a cigarette and my niece asked "why are you always sad?". She would've been about 6yo at the time.
I was going through a horrendous mental period that involved a lot of alcohol, medication, and sleepless nights.
Of course I told her I was fine, just a little tired from working hard.
I remember thinking about that interaction the rest of the night.
Ninja Nonna 3 years ago
Kids & dogs always notice. I wouldn't be here without my kids & my dogs.
#19
“Why are you so quiet” or “why don’t you talk?” When I was proud of myself for talking more than normal
YourAveragePooh 3 years ago (edited)
I always get asked this question. And I can tell you it's annoying. If you talk to me I'll talk back. But I can't start a conversation.
#20
Said bye to grandma before leaving the house. About 20 seconds later after saying bye to everyone else she asks "When are you going to say bye to me?"
She died two weeks after that.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
I’m so sorry for your loss! My grandmother died in 1989, four days before her 80th birthday. I still miss her.
#21
When I was 19, I hung out with a cute girl from my high school that I never got to hang with when we were in school. Had a great day together, and that night she asked, “can we be like secret friends or something? I don’t really hang out with people like you.”
Never hung out again.
DC 3 years ago
Friends are not embarrassing. Simple as that, sometimes there might be something to figure out and stuff, but friends are not embarrassing - those you won't support, stand up for, aren't friends - or, in case you refuse to do any of that, you're not a friend. And so is she - not a friend. Sounds like one of those who are popular because they look kinda nice ... in that age, the so-called beautiful ones often never experienced any else than being pampered and spoiled for looking good, while others have to struggle to even not be bullied, or to get themselves through the shitty treatment of ... those like her.
#22
Why don't u have children? Don't u like kids? I can't have children
#23
I work at a primary school supporting kids in class. I’ve had kids ask me “why do I keep trying with them, clearly they are useless and dumb?” “Why do they have to be such a bad/naughty kid?” Even one asked me “why do I like that kid? They are so bad.” I have a million and one answers that suit the situation but it breaks my heart, especially when the “bad kid” in question is actually a very sweet child who has a really rough start to life and because of that makes poor choices. I cried with joy when the kid was invited to their first birthday party.
#24
When the vet said:
"Your cat has an inoperable cancerous tumor. The kindest thing you can do to end his suffering is to put him to sleep. Do you wish to do this?"
#25
During college, parents took a friend and I out to dinner. Very normal dinner, chit chatted about whatever. After we left and were walking back to my car, he turns to me and says "Is that what a normal relationship is like?"
We talked more after that, I had met his parents a few times and they seemed strict but never seemed to have a terrible relationship. Turned out apparently his dad had cheated on his mom multiple times, dad had zero respect for any of my friends sisters and essentially expected them to do all the housework while the men did "guy stuff." Hunting, training for sports, school, etc. Turned out his childhood was pretty fucked, dad was never around and he had to essentially be the father figure in the house. As the oldest child, never really saw a normal loving relationship that he could look up to. My friend is a really nice guy, still has some messed up views of relationships though. I never realized how "abnormal" my very normal family/childhood was.
#26
Being asked by my grandma who I was because I wasn't her granddaughter. And when my "best friend" asked why I ever thought we were friends... The first broke my heart, but I understood it wasnt malicious she had Alzheimer's. The second one has caused lasting trust issues and an very difficult time making friends.
#27
I have a stutter and people always ask me why I'm so quiet it hurts because I want to be social but whenever I try I tend to be ignored or cut off half way through my sentence, like I want to be social and speak to people but it's almost impossible for me
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
Stutterers cannot help the hand they were dealt. Be patient, let them finish what they are saying without your "help", and remember this also qualifies as paying it forward.
#28
Not directly to my face, but my mom has been asked quite often if I was adopted, because I look absolutely nothing like her (I look like a female version of my dad). The only reason it pains me a bit is because my mom almost died while giving birth to me, and she went through a ton of complications and surgeries, just to have people question it all. Having said that, I have nothing against adoption btw, I fully support and encourage it.
#29
"Is this your room? You'd never be able to tell if a boy or girl lived here." Going on to heavily imply that my lack of possessions/decorations = lack of identity/personality when in reality my family was just poor.
Ninja Nonna 3 years ago
I shared with, at one stage for 4 years, parents & 6 siblings. To only share with one person, my husband, was bliss!!!
#30
This isn’t really a question but more of a comment. My best friend at the time was talking about how a kid in their class was causing a mess at a museum they went to on a field trip, and they were talking about how he said he had ADHD. “that makes a lot of sense, i can’t be around people with that”, they said. There was thirteen year old me, who had been diagnosed with ADHD just a week before. That was...interesting.
What do you think ?
Troux 3 years ago
It's a lot to take in, but please do. With every sad story you read, you gained a little bit more knowledge about what others go through, how things look through their eyes and how well hidden their pain is. One day you'll see this kind of pain again, but this time you'll recognize it, and you'll recognize the person holding onto it. That may be all they need.
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Broken Angel 3 years ago
i was really quiet in class and i never spoke. once, i answered a question in english because it was the only subject that i knew enough to know the answer. when i answered, everyone turned around and stared at me. about a minute of silence, then someone yelled 'you can talk?!' everyone laughed and i didn't talk for the rest of the year. i was in grade two. when i was in grade six, i was outside at recess and i was walking around alone. then, a kid ran away from his friend group, came up to me, and yelled 'what's wrong with you? don't you know how to talk?' i punched him. bitch didn't see that coming.
Watching 3 years ago
When they asked me what I wanted to do with my husband's body after he died of cancer.
kjorn 3 years ago
few years ago when my wife want to break up (because she discover she was a lesbian). days after that i get back to work (in a call center) and almost each person when they call ask me how i was. it was so hard to say fine when obviously i wasn't fine. during the next 2 weeks i had to left the office 6 time because i couldn't said i'm fine all that time. each time i had to say that i wanted to cry
Marianne Contrino 3 years ago
When I was in college, I worked at a home for women with developmental disabilities... Down Syndrome, Autism, Fragile X, etc. One night, as I was tucking a resident into bed, her usual big smile faded, she got very quiet, and a sadness filled her eyes. So, after seeing this, I asked her what was wrong. She let out a sigh, and asked, "When I die, and go to heaven, will I still have to be retarded?" I promise you it was all I could do not to let the tears start flowing. Pausing for a moment, I responded with something like, "Honey, you can be ANYTHING you want to be, WHENEVER you want to be it. Personally, I'm flipping between a unicorn (her favorite animal), and you." That seemed to make her happy, and the smile returned, but I never forgot it. I wish I could say she was the only one to voice such questions, but she wasn't. No matter how "low functioning" they were, they knew they were viewed as "different", and it truly saddened them. Now, I could go on, and write another eight paragraphs detailing the heartbreaking questions/comments I've dealt with while teaching, but I'll just leave it at that. Bottom line, the most innocent among us are preyed upon more than you know, and it is soul crushing.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
Same here. I worked in a community for kids and young adults with developmental disabilities. On Sunday afternoon, I remember with such affection, we had what they called "Scussion Group". They could not pronounce "discussion". Were around 20 years old. We would talk about be a "dult". Couldnt pronounce adult. I tell you remenbering that part brings such a smile to my face. They would take public transportation to work. One day someone asked "What do you say when they call you retarded?" Stopped me in my tracks.
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Angrywolf 3 years ago
My mother told me quite a few times that she rather had a hundred kids with down syndrome than one me, I cant help it that im autistic and that im different.
Unaffected 3 years ago
A geriatric nurse here.Asked a patient how is she feeling, said she's in pain.Offered a few options and when refused I asked What can I do to make it better ? She said - Nothing but at least you ask, others don't.
Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago
We had a fellow student named Steven when I was in 3rd grade. He was probably ADHD and a host of other things, but we loved his energy. Sometimes a bully would hassle him on the playground and he'd be so enraged that he'd just be in class crying so hard. I remember my teacher hugging him and being nice to him and she said that we needed to remember that everyone gets so mad they want to cry and sometimes has a bad time of things and to be kind to each other. Thanks Miss Bogosoff.
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
Mate at school, thirty years ago, "are your parents divorced?" "No." "Well when will they be?" He just assumed it was the norm...
Marcia Cash 3 years ago
Dated a guy for months, wonderful time, until one afternoon we were making sweet love, he opens his eyes and says "Oh, it's you!" Who was he fantasizing about? Freaked me out, total mistrust after that.
Madzdad the bard 3 years ago
My dad once said to me, "Nobody's perfect, but you are do damn far from it!". Still bugs me, I'm 53.
Viviane 3 years ago
After my mother was gone, my 90-something dad told me off about my perfectly legit choice of career. That hurt and I was more than 53. So I can imagine how much worse it is to hear that when you were a child. For me I got over it after telling myself a few times "My self-esteem doesn't depend on his stupid opinion." It also helped that my father also started to see other parts of me that he liked. Plus he can be a jerk to other people, including my sisters, so it feels less personal. We prop each other up when it happens.
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Carol Emory 3 years ago
My grandmother was known for wandering during her last years because of Alzheimer's. She would often get out of the house and end up in a neighbors backyard saying she was looking for Bill, her husband who had passed away a year earlier. My brother was her caretaker. He installed high locks on the door to prevent her from leaving while he took showers or slept. She still got out and disappeared. We looked for hours and I finally found her on the steps of the neighbors house. I asked her what she was doing. She pointed at my brother and said "I don't know that man. Who is he?" I then realized the fear she must've felt thinking a stranger had invaded her home everyday.
OCDRobot 3 years ago
I'm a woman that tends to dress in baggier clothing because it's what I'm comfortable in. One time I was at a music festival and was in a big sweater and pants with my hair pulled back. i was just enjoying myself, hanging with some friends at outside our camp watching a friend juggle. When this girl walked by, gave me a disgusted look and turned to her boyfriend to say "I can't tell if THAT'S a boy or girl." with just so much hatred in her voice. I got just a snippet that day, I can only imagine what trans people have to put up with all the time. It's not that hard to be a good person, and even easier to keep your mouth shut and opinions to yourself. I wish more people would understand that.
Holly Allen 3 years ago
I want to gather all of these broken people and hug them and protect them and tell them every day that they are loved
Sharon Ingram 3 years ago
My thought, too, reading these. But I think that's probably why I'm a hugger. Try it. Ask "can I give you a hug?" Hugs are awesome.
Load More Replies... Llama_flower93 3 years ago
At sixteen, after having had depression for four years, failing at school, no friends, and my parents bad marriage being the cause of it, I finally told my mother I had depression, and she looked at me confused and said "How do you have depression?" To top it off, I learned later I was experiencing childhood emotional neglect that brought on trauma. So her blatant ignorance cut deep.
Benji Fleenor 3 years ago
When I found out I had an incurable disease ... a friend of mine, before he found. out was talking about dating and he said he would never date someone with that disease. He learned but it made me scared to date for 5 years.
Clinton Reidhead 3 years ago
As a child my bedroom was literally a bathroom. Small one to. Had that many siblings. Didn't get an actual room till I was 12. When anyone ever found out, they always called me bathroom boy. My family had a lot of kids and poor.
Ricky Omo 3 years ago
"Is anyone ever not nice to you?" It caught me off guard so hard I forgot all my days of being bullied in junior high because ever since I hit puberty people were nice to me nonstop. It made me really pause. I'm usually always nice to others so they reciprocate the energy, but mostly people are nice to me right off the bat, it made me feel privileged for a while. Then I remembered the torture of growing up as the class Joke long after the question was asked.
ScarlettofHydraIsland 3 years ago
One of my sixth grade bullies, who had once been my friend, asked me point blank why I was so ugly and disgusting. Never was able to shake it.
Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
Not as sad as some of these posts, but as a child I had a boys haircut, not by choice. People would ask “why is that boy in a dress?” I would be devastated and horribly embarrassed. As an adult I still feel mannish and self conscious sometimes and because I have quite a square jaw still get people ask if I’m a man.
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
I use a wheelchair because of illness, I'm a big girl. Hurts when people say, "your just fat and lazy." Like I want to be this way? I would give anything to be able to walk again
Hannah Anderson Carroll 3 years ago (edited)
#13 could very well be one of my cousins/siblings. My uncle Dan (her son) passed away suddenly while my grandmother was struggling with dementia. When she was cognizant enough to be aware of what was going on she expressed a lot of grief, feeling like there was no one who could help take care of her anymore. Her children are scattered around the country. Uncle Dan was a bachelor who lived in the same town and was her caregiver. That's when my mom (her DIL) put everything on hold and sent for her across the state to take care of her during her last months. I thought it was a big deal because I know my mom was never over-the-moon crazy about her mother-in-law. My dad still tears up with appreciation thinking of how well she took care of grandma (his mom) before she passed away. God I love my family.
Rachel Smith 3 years ago (edited)
I have 2 girls and both pregnancies were very hard on me and I had several miscarriages between them. Just before getting pregnant with my youngest I miscarried a boy that was 5 months along. So during my pregnancy with my youngest, my sil came to live with us and help. She brought her 2 girls with her, oldest was a sweet heart, youngest was meaner than cat piss. Me and my sil stayed up late one night afterthe kids fell asleep and talked. She asked if my pregnancy was safe yet, because I was 4 months along. I said as safe as it can be. The next morning sil went grocery shopping. her youngest daughter followed me around my house asking what I would do if my baby died and imagine if you're already carrying a dead baby. She did it 10 times that day and I had a panic attack. When her mom got home she played it off like she was asking innocent questions. Butthe way she kept on it broke my heart. I would up having to get them to go home.
Rachel Smith 3 years ago
I had a miscarriage before my youngest was born. I was 5 months with my youngest, when my husband's sister moved in with us and she brought her kids with her. Oldest girl was fine, the youngest was mean. Well one night my sil and I stayed up talking about things and she asked if my pregnancy was going good. I had said yes but they were worried I would miscarry at the 6 month mark like last time. Any way her daughter, the youngest decided to corner me in the kitchen to ask," wouldn't it suck if you lost this baby to what would you do if it was dead right now. Hmmm you could be carrying around a dead baby." All day long any chance she could she would corner me and ask/ torment me with dead babies. She even drew a picture of me with a dead baby in my stomach. The kid was 11 or 12.
Lara verbinnen 3 years ago
Last year I was in a bad mental place ( nobody knew) and one of my friends said that i looked like a junky, because of that i came in a heavy depression
Maddie 3 years ago
Not a question but a statement. My mom does a lot of s**t mentally but whatever ANYWAYS. I told her I. (13f who hasn’t hit puberty yet and so Yk) had depression and she said “you aren’t depressed you just want attention.” She usually tells me stuff like that but it’s normal so idrc
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
"Where's the rest of your group?" Context: Late in 6th grade, we had a project about ecosystems, and I decided to work on my project alone. We ended up presenting our projects in a sort of "science fair" way, where students' families could come over and look. The only people who gave me any attention whatsoever were my family, the person who asked the question, and some kid who just walked up and took one of the handouts without even listening to me. Sadly, that's not the worst thing that happened to me in 6th grade, either...
Terri Williams 3 years ago
Being told that my 3 sisters were so beautiful, my only brother such a handsome young man. They would look at me, searching for words before they blurt out, "You're so talented!". Brother making "ugly" jokes and using me as the punch line. Still have bad self esteem at 65 years old.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
I was sitting at my mother's bedside as she was dying. She said clearly "Im afraid". My brain melted and my heart exploded. What do you say to that?
Sharon Ingram 3 years ago
Be kind to everyone. Period. We have no idea what they are going through.
Mumchkin 3 years ago
When Hubs and I let [my] in-laws know that I had to have a hysterectomy at the young age of 30, MIL asked me, Can't you just have a baby first? Actually no, if she'd been listening she'd have known that I couldn't. Approximately 10 years after that, she says to me that she knew a woman that had the same thing as I did, and they just took the tumors out and she had kids. If I had the choice I would have done the same thing, but it wasn't an option.
Gay Llama 3 years ago
Everyone asks me why I'm so slow. I was diagnosed with hip dysplasia when I was born, but now the doctors say I just have messed up thigh. Running too much causes my breathing to wheeze (I have asthma) and my knees and hips to hurt. It's even worse when my parents make "jokes" about how I'm slow I am at everything, or yell at me for being slow.
Troux 3 years ago
It's a lot to take in, but please do. With every sad story you read, you gained a little bit more knowledge about what others go through, how things look through their eyes and how well hidden their pain is. One day you'll see this kind of pain again, but this time you'll recognize it, and you'll recognize the person holding onto it. That may be all they need.
Load More Replies... Broken Angel 3 years ago
i was really quiet in class and i never spoke. once, i answered a question in english because it was the only subject that i knew enough to know the answer. when i answered, everyone turned around and stared at me. about a minute of silence, then someone yelled 'you can talk?!' everyone laughed and i didn't talk for the rest of the year. i was in grade two. when i was in grade six, i was outside at recess and i was walking around alone. then, a kid ran away from his friend group, came up to me, and yelled 'what's wrong with you? don't you know how to talk?' i punched him. bitch didn't see that coming.
Watching 3 years ago
When they asked me what I wanted to do with my husband's body after he died of cancer.
kjorn 3 years ago
few years ago when my wife want to break up (because she discover she was a lesbian). days after that i get back to work (in a call center) and almost each person when they call ask me how i was. it was so hard to say fine when obviously i wasn't fine. during the next 2 weeks i had to left the office 6 time because i couldn't said i'm fine all that time. each time i had to say that i wanted to cry
Marianne Contrino 3 years ago
When I was in college, I worked at a home for women with developmental disabilities... Down Syndrome, Autism, Fragile X, etc. One night, as I was tucking a resident into bed, her usual big smile faded, she got very quiet, and a sadness filled her eyes. So, after seeing this, I asked her what was wrong. She let out a sigh, and asked, "When I die, and go to heaven, will I still have to be retarded?" I promise you it was all I could do not to let the tears start flowing. Pausing for a moment, I responded with something like, "Honey, you can be ANYTHING you want to be, WHENEVER you want to be it. Personally, I'm flipping between a unicorn (her favorite animal), and you." That seemed to make her happy, and the smile returned, but I never forgot it. I wish I could say she was the only one to voice such questions, but she wasn't. No matter how "low functioning" they were, they knew they were viewed as "different", and it truly saddened them. Now, I could go on, and write another eight paragraphs detailing the heartbreaking questions/comments I've dealt with while teaching, but I'll just leave it at that. Bottom line, the most innocent among us are preyed upon more than you know, and it is soul crushing.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
Same here. I worked in a community for kids and young adults with developmental disabilities. On Sunday afternoon, I remember with such affection, we had what they called "Scussion Group". They could not pronounce "discussion". Were around 20 years old. We would talk about be a "dult". Couldnt pronounce adult. I tell you remenbering that part brings such a smile to my face. They would take public transportation to work. One day someone asked "What do you say when they call you retarded?" Stopped me in my tracks.
Load More Replies... Angrywolf 3 years ago
My mother told me quite a few times that she rather had a hundred kids with down syndrome than one me, I cant help it that im autistic and that im different.
Unaffected 3 years ago
A geriatric nurse here.Asked a patient how is she feeling, said she's in pain.Offered a few options and when refused I asked What can I do to make it better ? She said - Nothing but at least you ask, others don't.
Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago
We had a fellow student named Steven when I was in 3rd grade. He was probably ADHD and a host of other things, but we loved his energy. Sometimes a bully would hassle him on the playground and he'd be so enraged that he'd just be in class crying so hard. I remember my teacher hugging him and being nice to him and she said that we needed to remember that everyone gets so mad they want to cry and sometimes has a bad time of things and to be kind to each other. Thanks Miss Bogosoff.
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
Mate at school, thirty years ago, "are your parents divorced?" "No." "Well when will they be?" He just assumed it was the norm...
Marcia Cash 3 years ago
Dated a guy for months, wonderful time, until one afternoon we were making sweet love, he opens his eyes and says "Oh, it's you!" Who was he fantasizing about? Freaked me out, total mistrust after that.
Madzdad the bard 3 years ago
My dad once said to me, "Nobody's perfect, but you are do damn far from it!". Still bugs me, I'm 53.
Viviane 3 years ago
After my mother was gone, my 90-something dad told me off about my perfectly legit choice of career. That hurt and I was more than 53. So I can imagine how much worse it is to hear that when you were a child. For me I got over it after telling myself a few times "My self-esteem doesn't depend on his stupid opinion." It also helped that my father also started to see other parts of me that he liked. Plus he can be a jerk to other people, including my sisters, so it feels less personal. We prop each other up when it happens.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 3 years ago
My grandmother was known for wandering during her last years because of Alzheimer's. She would often get out of the house and end up in a neighbors backyard saying she was looking for Bill, her husband who had passed away a year earlier. My brother was her caretaker. He installed high locks on the door to prevent her from leaving while he took showers or slept. She still got out and disappeared. We looked for hours and I finally found her on the steps of the neighbors house. I asked her what she was doing. She pointed at my brother and said "I don't know that man. Who is he?" I then realized the fear she must've felt thinking a stranger had invaded her home everyday.
OCDRobot 3 years ago
I'm a woman that tends to dress in baggier clothing because it's what I'm comfortable in. One time I was at a music festival and was in a big sweater and pants with my hair pulled back. i was just enjoying myself, hanging with some friends at outside our camp watching a friend juggle. When this girl walked by, gave me a disgusted look and turned to her boyfriend to say "I can't tell if THAT'S a boy or girl." with just so much hatred in her voice. I got just a snippet that day, I can only imagine what trans people have to put up with all the time. It's not that hard to be a good person, and even easier to keep your mouth shut and opinions to yourself. I wish more people would understand that.
Holly Allen 3 years ago
I want to gather all of these broken people and hug them and protect them and tell them every day that they are loved
Sharon Ingram 3 years ago
My thought, too, reading these. But I think that's probably why I'm a hugger. Try it. Ask "can I give you a hug?" Hugs are awesome.
Load More Replies... Llama_flower93 3 years ago
At sixteen, after having had depression for four years, failing at school, no friends, and my parents bad marriage being the cause of it, I finally told my mother I had depression, and she looked at me confused and said "How do you have depression?" To top it off, I learned later I was experiencing childhood emotional neglect that brought on trauma. So her blatant ignorance cut deep.
Benji Fleenor 3 years ago
When I found out I had an incurable disease ... a friend of mine, before he found. out was talking about dating and he said he would never date someone with that disease. He learned but it made me scared to date for 5 years.
Clinton Reidhead 3 years ago
As a child my bedroom was literally a bathroom. Small one to. Had that many siblings. Didn't get an actual room till I was 12. When anyone ever found out, they always called me bathroom boy. My family had a lot of kids and poor.
Ricky Omo 3 years ago
"Is anyone ever not nice to you?" It caught me off guard so hard I forgot all my days of being bullied in junior high because ever since I hit puberty people were nice to me nonstop. It made me really pause. I'm usually always nice to others so they reciprocate the energy, but mostly people are nice to me right off the bat, it made me feel privileged for a while. Then I remembered the torture of growing up as the class Joke long after the question was asked.
ScarlettofHydraIsland 3 years ago
One of my sixth grade bullies, who had once been my friend, asked me point blank why I was so ugly and disgusting. Never was able to shake it.
Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
Not as sad as some of these posts, but as a child I had a boys haircut, not by choice. People would ask “why is that boy in a dress?” I would be devastated and horribly embarrassed. As an adult I still feel mannish and self conscious sometimes and because I have quite a square jaw still get people ask if I’m a man.
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
I use a wheelchair because of illness, I'm a big girl. Hurts when people say, "your just fat and lazy." Like I want to be this way? I would give anything to be able to walk again
Hannah Anderson Carroll 3 years ago (edited)
#13 could very well be one of my cousins/siblings. My uncle Dan (her son) passed away suddenly while my grandmother was struggling with dementia. When she was cognizant enough to be aware of what was going on she expressed a lot of grief, feeling like there was no one who could help take care of her anymore. Her children are scattered around the country. Uncle Dan was a bachelor who lived in the same town and was her caregiver. That's when my mom (her DIL) put everything on hold and sent for her across the state to take care of her during her last months. I thought it was a big deal because I know my mom was never over-the-moon crazy about her mother-in-law. My dad still tears up with appreciation thinking of how well she took care of grandma (his mom) before she passed away. God I love my family.
Rachel Smith 3 years ago (edited)
I have 2 girls and both pregnancies were very hard on me and I had several miscarriages between them. Just before getting pregnant with my youngest I miscarried a boy that was 5 months along. So during my pregnancy with my youngest, my sil came to live with us and help. She brought her 2 girls with her, oldest was a sweet heart, youngest was meaner than cat piss. Me and my sil stayed up late one night afterthe kids fell asleep and talked. She asked if my pregnancy was safe yet, because I was 4 months along. I said as safe as it can be. The next morning sil went grocery shopping. her youngest daughter followed me around my house asking what I would do if my baby died and imagine if you're already carrying a dead baby. She did it 10 times that day and I had a panic attack. When her mom got home she played it off like she was asking innocent questions. Butthe way she kept on it broke my heart. I would up having to get them to go home.
Rachel Smith 3 years ago
I had a miscarriage before my youngest was born. I was 5 months with my youngest, when my husband's sister moved in with us and she brought her kids with her. Oldest girl was fine, the youngest was mean. Well one night my sil and I stayed up talking about things and she asked if my pregnancy was going good. I had said yes but they were worried I would miscarry at the 6 month mark like last time. Any way her daughter, the youngest decided to corner me in the kitchen to ask," wouldn't it suck if you lost this baby to what would you do if it was dead right now. Hmmm you could be carrying around a dead baby." All day long any chance she could she would corner me and ask/ torment me with dead babies. She even drew a picture of me with a dead baby in my stomach. The kid was 11 or 12.
Lara verbinnen 3 years ago
Last year I was in a bad mental place ( nobody knew) and one of my friends said that i looked like a junky, because of that i came in a heavy depression
Maddie 3 years ago
Not a question but a statement. My mom does a lot of s**t mentally but whatever ANYWAYS. I told her I. (13f who hasn’t hit puberty yet and so Yk) had depression and she said “you aren’t depressed you just want attention.” She usually tells me stuff like that but it’s normal so idrc
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
"Where's the rest of your group?" Context: Late in 6th grade, we had a project about ecosystems, and I decided to work on my project alone. We ended up presenting our projects in a sort of "science fair" way, where students' families could come over and look. The only people who gave me any attention whatsoever were my family, the person who asked the question, and some kid who just walked up and took one of the handouts without even listening to me. Sadly, that's not the worst thing that happened to me in 6th grade, either...
Terri Williams 3 years ago
Being told that my 3 sisters were so beautiful, my only brother such a handsome young man. They would look at me, searching for words before they blurt out, "You're so talented!". Brother making "ugly" jokes and using me as the punch line. Still have bad self esteem at 65 years old.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
I was sitting at my mother's bedside as she was dying. She said clearly "Im afraid". My brain melted and my heart exploded. What do you say to that?
Sharon Ingram 3 years ago
Be kind to everyone. Period. We have no idea what they are going through.
Mumchkin 3 years ago
When Hubs and I let [my] in-laws know that I had to have a hysterectomy at the young age of 30, MIL asked me, Can't you just have a baby first? Actually no, if she'd been listening she'd have known that I couldn't. Approximately 10 years after that, she says to me that she knew a woman that had the same thing as I did, and they just took the tumors out and she had kids. If I had the choice I would have done the same thing, but it wasn't an option.
Gay Llama 3 years ago
Everyone asks me why I'm so slow. I was diagnosed with hip dysplasia when I was born, but now the doctors say I just have messed up thigh. Running too much causes my breathing to wheeze (I have asthma) and my knees and hips to hurt. It's even worse when my parents make "jokes" about how I'm slow I am at everything, or yell at me for being slow.
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