I truly believe some people don’t register their level of nonsense until it’s done to them, so next step… when the kids go to school and the OP goes to work in the morning… the TV goes and sound system go on at that volume… and it’s left on with the password in place. Yes… things can be unplugged, but after a few days of waking up to do that… and your point has been made. Empathy is a great motivator! And it sounds like all the other adults in the house are lacking empathy.

iLs get a hotel and spend the money they were given for it. They need to stop encroaching on other people. Could give two shits what the FIL used to do after work s**t changes. Wife needs to cut the cord and grow the f**k up. Just because it's her parents doesn't mean they can run over anyone. Lesson should be learned that no one stays at the house idaf who it they are find something else

That's insane. My mom would do anything for her grandkids. She's hard of hearing so she watches TV with the volume way up. But when the grandkids visit she puts the closed captions on instead so she doesn't disturb them. I can't imagine being a guest in someone's home and behaving like that!

NTA, but i think your wife is too used to obeying her parents. I suggest you turn up the TV to the volume they listen to it when she is trying to sleep after her night shift. Also, appeal to their vanity, suggest they must be losing their hearing if they need it that loud, do they want you to schedule hearing tests for them?

sounds like FIL is used to getting HIS own way. MIL may not have much say in that. DEF send a link for a couple of different types of headphones to him. Also as someone else said, put on closed caption function. You can also on most smart T V's set the volume and lock it in. GOOD LUCK

It's simple. Your in-laws are a******s. Send them to a hotel and they can be as loud as they want.

If they stay with relatives, they can pocket the insurance money or they were under insured. Anyway, my otherwise lovely dad is a tv blaster. His hearing is apparently fine but I think his problem is related to pitch and the frequency so he has trouble making out the words. Plus he likes it loud. He also thinks headphones look stupid but I pointed out “Who is going to look at you?” He wears his headphones and everyone is happy. Give them the password if they wear headphones. Otherwise, this is the deal.

NTA. Wife must be brainwashed by the people who raised her to be okay with inconsiderate behavior. Maybe after she gets home from working night shift allow her to share in being kept awake by a loud TV. Experience is a great teacher. The inlaws are hopeless.

I couldn't even finish this. The second i read my wife sided with her father, I was done. I've yet to read a situation where the OP and their partner actually agree on something?

NTA. I honestly think they need to be scheduled for hearing tests, though.

WTF is this? A couple of old people acting like jerks without consideration of their granchildren's wellbeing. They used too much drugs that caused to alter their mind?

NTA. Your house, your rules.

WOW.... this man deserves an award for even letting his inlaws sleep in his house at all, to be quite frank. My guests want for nothing, but not one of them has ever DARED violate my generosity with abuse. I'm not saying I'd throw them out on the spot, but keeping children awake on a schoolnight? ZERO tolerance.

It stopped being about the TV from the start. It is about control. FIL lost "king of the castle" status and can't handle it. OP is the "king" of this castle and is doing right by his family. There is an amicable solution if both men acknowledge their "status" and come at the solution with man to man respect. Some can call it toxic masculinity, but I'd take an alpha male ANY day. However, this is some beta male BS. The men need to handle this like real men. Sit down, negotiate terms, if nothing comes from it then FIL takes his wife to a hotel. Drama is not the absence of problems. Drama is the route taken to resolve problems.

It is a FACT that most AITA contributors frame their stories to get most responders on their side. This one is pretty simple no matter who is telling the story: " when a guest in anyone's home, you abide by their rules or GET OUT" The wife and husband should be on the same page. The inlaws need to read up then act like guests with manners. TV and music are not necessities. I suspect we are not getting the whole story and there are power plays by everyone here ( the TV might not be up that loud and the 2 males are having other issues..the tv/music fight is their dominance jockeying by proxy) In the end it is the OPs home and that is it. It is only 2 months. Or longer. The insurance company usually pays for hotels. Or go watch TV or play music in the car. They are guests and need to remember guests abide by the hosts" rules or they leave.

This is a really straight forward situation that OP handled 100% correctly. If you can't use this thing without waking everybody in the house up, then you can't use it til everyone is awake. I can't understand why there was ever any doubt about this being sensible and appropriate. His wife needs to get her priorities straight and look after the well-being of the people who actually live in that house rather than coddling misbehaving guests. If this continues to be a fight I'd reach out to the kids' pediatrician for a definitive statement on the importance of them getting good sleep and let that settle it for good. Moreover, if the guests cannot behave in a way that is respectful of the fact that those kids (and their parents) live there and they do not, I'd suggest they make other arrangements for the remainder of their home repairs. Most insurance policies have hotel stays included in the event of serious damage to the home.

My boyfriend and I are in our 50's and raising a 6 yo (midlife baby, I had all those urs thought I was sterile!). My boyfriend is hard of hearing and while he acknowledges it, he absolutely refuses to do anything about it. He still wants to listen to music loud enough to shake the neighboring houses. I think he's incredibly selfish on this matter. I have ptsd (seems like everyone has it) and certain loud noises make me really anxious and I can't concentrate. I've been trying for years to get him to use headphones or earbuds. He has finally, in the last 3 months or so, been trying out earbuds. He complains that they don't get loud enough, because you know....let's destroy the rest of his hearing ....at least he's finally trying though. Forcing others to listen to your stuff, whether it be music or talk radio or a show/movie, is not only selfish, but also so unnecessary in this age of wireless earbuds/headphones. Even my bf should be able to find "studio headphones".

The FIL is sending him links to buy earplugs for the kids?! Send him some for HEADPHONES. You know, my husband puts those on when he watches stuff late at night. It's called common courtesy, especially for kids and even more so in someone else's home!

NTA. These in-laws are essentially guests in your home. Why aren't they considerate of their grandchildren's needs to get adequate sleep? Purely selfish people. I can see someone wanting to relax after work watching TV. Apparently that's all FIL knows how to do. Why does the TV need to be so loud? I would just go out and buy 2 sets of headphones. They can use them to watch TV, OR NOT.

The audacity of elders thinking their needs and wants trump others....!! My pet peeve is people loudly playing music/tv, because it's almost like these people don't care headphones exist and are so openly selfish that they don't bother to do the reasonable and polite thing (aka get and use headphones). That they don't suggests it's a powermove a là toddler, so they need to be handled as such.

I think that this gent was/is as patient as they get. He spoke clearly about the noise as it is problematic. I they didn’t stop late night noise so he did. Excellently done sir. Hats off to you.

Its always been my impression that when you stayed at someone else's house you went by their rules whether you were relatives or not. Who are these rude people? You have kids who need to go to school! Why don't they care about their own grand kids and you are doing them a huge favour letting them stay with you for 2 months (maybe longer if anything goes wrong) these people should be grateful not acting like teenagers. I would be sitting them down for a respectful chat about the house rules and the fact the kids have to go to school etc and gently remindly them that they are guests as a favor and if they prefer they always have the option of a hotel room where they can blast music as loudly as they like. Until then the child lock will remain in place and they can watch TV on their phones and ipads.

You are simply thrice stupid: One, you married, two, you had kids, and three, allow your asswipe inlaws to get to your house. Grow a pair of balls, man. If you can.

Headphones for the parents seem to be the obvious solution, but this reminded me of the time my father stayed with us for an extended period while he convalesced. He was a big Fox news fan, which I can't stand to be around for more than a minute or so. He'd insist upon watching Hannity with the volume cranked up while I was making dinner, unable to escape. I ended up using parental controls to remove it from the lineup and peace was restored. (Mine, anyway.) He never did figure it out.

Everyone is blaming the IL's as they should because of their child-like behavior, however the mix of people with different sleeping schedules is really the cause of the situation, even though the grandparents could of course be more considerate and be quiet. It doesn't help that when two people who room together work different schedules where at any given point someone is sleeping, it can suck. Again, I agree with the op about the grandparents totally being a******s, I just think the mix of scheduling is going to create conflict for working people no matter what, and that it's ok to acknowledge that working at night in general sucks more than working a day shift, even if your a night person, because society isn't set up that way. Your messing up your circadian rhythm, generally have poor health outcomes, and if you room with others everyone has to be quiet all the time. All to accommodate capitalist accumulation for business owners at a faster rate. It's just sad.

NTA. The idea for headphones for the ILs/AHs is awesome! Years ago I allowed a friend to stay long-term and even allowed him his own tv room. I started getting bills for random streamed movies. He denied it was him. And it was literally random like Emperors New Groove and movies we already owned. I decided he was getting buzzed and/or hitting buttons with his meat hook fingers. He refused to pay for the movies and became hostile, denying it was him. Ok, once I can ask the streaming company to forgive, but I'm not going to keep asking. I set a password. He became hostile about this. He started cranking the volume when I tried to sleep. So i said get out. When he wouldn't (and after someone has been at an address for a period, they can refuse) I took the remote and the cord and said eviction proceedings begin in 3 days. Really just a hostile person. And now a former guest and former friend. Never extend this assistance again.

absolutely NTA, this guy is just being a good father. Though I think that he should turn the parental controls off for one night only so that he can record how loud it actually is and show it to his wife. Maybe then she'll realize how big of an issue it is and take the side of her husband and kids.

I just wish "journalists" would stop creating "articles" that just break down a reddit post in between 4-5 ads. This is the bottom.

Send the link back to him and tell him to buy them. Then blare it when they are trying to sleep....though given wife's schedule and FIL....might make wife more angry.....you could always film it to show to her how you've asked nicely and don't know what the next step is and want her input.

When in Rome… As long as you understand that FIL is going to expect you to live his way at their house. Sometimes the power struggle, despite the fact that you feel RIGHT and your kids need their routine, isn’t worth it.

NTA! This is YOUR house, not his! It goes by YOUR rules. Tell FIL he has 2 choices----#1. A TV in the garage (he can get a smart TV at Wal-Mart under $200). I don't even think he'd keep the noise down with headphones! Or #2. Get a hotel, since you're a rude AF guest! Sit down with wife, kids, AND in-laws to discuss. Everyone has a say. Good luck!!!😊

Who says the ILs aren't doing a fast one and getting housing money from the insurance and staying with them for free? They seem to be people who would do that sort of thing. inconsiderate of others and demanding like royalty

Make your wife stay for one night without your IL know. She'll realize her mistake. If that doesn't work, as a lesson, take your kids and you to sleep elsewhere while her parents stay.they are so disrespectful. See how she reacts. Good luck

Take a couple of days vacation and keep wife, Fil and MiL up all day with the same "courtesy" volume. If they don't get the message..... Send them all the address of the local extended stay hotel..... and driving directions to get there.

FIL is a typical whiny entitled boomer

Your tv, your house, your rules. He can adapt, lump it or move. Better yet, he needs a hobby. He can also read a book or surf the net. Lots of options. NTA.

So because he doesn't want to change his routine the grandfather is okay with keeping his grandchildren from sleeping when they have school the next day? What an AH. Plus, if he is old enough to have grandkids he's old enough to not care that headphones "look stupid" if they keep him from being an AH to his own family.