My dad has never understood this. I don't talk to him about my problems

Would be helpful in relationships too.

Nuture vs. Nature. How many of us would have gotten thru life a bit easier if only our elders had nutured us?

Speaking as someone on the ASD, it's really helpful to me if someone tells me what they need from me so I don't go off in the wrong direction.

And, possibly even more important: respect each and every children in their individuality.

They need space and support to be children, but they need to be thought how to become functional adults in society, which has some rules though. So they also need to learn what means "no" and how to network the relationship with other individuals in the society.

You forgot: 'I love you!' :0)

I was clearly too good at this, I have a toddler who won't sleep on his own...

In some situations, these may apply, but you also don't want your child to grow up afraid of physical contact, unable to engage or share with others, a fussy eater or selfish and entitled. There will be situations in life where others trust them with their feelings, and teaching them they have no responsibility for the feelings of others is simply bad parenting.

i can't completely get with the "everything after but" part. it's saying that you don't care why they did it, you don't want any context. it's important to understand why something happened.

There are plenty of times in life where you will be expected to express gratitude when you are not truly grateful. Nice idea on paper, but following the advice wouldn't set your child up for the realities of society.

Hell, this is what I say to my angry husband (before you get concerned about my safety, he gets angry about crap that happens at work, and just vents about it to me—-I’m kind of like his sounding board).

This. I never had enough love and was never allowed to choose what to do, or say, or be, so I learnt that I was unworthy of love and that I would never be able to affect anything in my life (at least in a positive manner) so I should simply never try.

So, I should have lied to my parents? Fact is, I would have learned more had I been raised by wolves.

Finally, this one is real life

Positive reinforcement for positive behavior tends to make anyone want to keep it up. We’re like Pavlov’s dogs when it come to genuine appreciation and praise, no matter how modest we may be. I know I’m like the majority when I say I thrive and want to stay in upbeat situations, and only want to get finished and get out of, and stay as far away from as possible, any negative ones I can’t avoid.

these are all really great down on paper but in reality and logically im not too sure

Being too hard on children just makes them resent you and want to leave as soon as they can—-and cut you and your toxicity out of their lives permanently.

In other words, don’t be a child yourself. Be a grownup and control your emotions and impulses.

Instead of calling it “whining time”, how about calling it “time to register complaints” instead?

My parents had us do a love language quiz a few years back. I think mine was either gifts or quality time. And physical affection was a zero, mainly because the scenarios were so weird to me. "You finished your homework today! High five!"

Just tell them you’re here for them when they’re ready to talk about it. Then leave them alone and let THEM seek you out. If they don’t within a reasonable time (operative word is reasonable), then just check in, but don’t press them.

Damn this pandemi..

And watch your tone of voice! Make sure it matches the words you’re saying! You can even say “Great job!” and “It looks nice”, if you’re genuinely proud their efforts and the end result. Just be sure to expand on that praise with a specifics you’re also proud of, such as their creativity and/or the time and effort they put into it. Just don’t go overboard, or it starts to sound hollow.

If your child asks why, please DO try to explain. If they arent asking why and are upset, let them have their feelings as explained in other pics.

This depends on the amount and situation. Some of this can also get out of hand.

I work with a student with autism, and she hates it when people tells her to 'try harder,' or say 'you didn't even try'. "When they say you aren't trying, what they mean is you aren't succeeding. Sometimes I'm trying as hard as I can, but that just isn't good enough for them."

Kids manipulate people all the time. They're trying it out to see if it works and whether it's rewarding or not. It's totally understandable. Instead of labeling it "challenging behavior" because we're uncomfortable with the idea of small children being manipulative, maybe just help kids see that manipulating other people won't yield the results they're hoping for. But kids are smart. I have young children and they know what they're doing. It's not insidious, they're not Machiavelli or anything. They're just trying it out.

Just don’t overdo it. In fact, don’t overdo anything in this article. Adjust it to your own family’s “style”. Whatever everyone’s comfortable with when they’re at home and can finally relax.

Context is important in some of these phrases.

I don’t think my 17 year old will fall for this one