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Hey Pandas, AITA For Intending To Keep My Inheritance Separate From My Husband?
Moderator’s note:
If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
I refused to transfer ownership of my property to my husband.
I (43f) have been married for 3 years to my husband (46m). We have been talking about acquiring a matrimonial home.
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I happen to own significant real estate, which I worked hard to acquire while I was single
Image credits: Phil Hearing (not the actual photo)
He asked me to change the ownership document to include him as a joint owner so that we could develop the property into a matrimonial home since it is strategically located, being close to the city where we both work. He said he could also make me a joint owner of a property he owns in a less ideal location.
He says that I should make him a joint owner of my property first before he can process the changes to his own property
Image credits: Van Tay Media (not the actual photo)
I proposed that the ownership changes be made concurrently to safeguard both our interests.
He hit the roof, accusing me of not trusting him, and he asked whether I would not have allowed joint ownership if he had nothing to bring to the table.
Am I in the wrong?
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Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.
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What do you think ?
Molly Whuppie 10 months ago (edited)
Getting angry over the request for it to be done concurrently is a red flag. Hope OP decides not to do it and then checks the laws in her state for what happens to property in divorce cases because he may be laying the ground work to do so.
Trillian 10 months ago (edited)
Don't do it. Sell him part of the house (at what it is worth) and buy part of his (at what it is worth). Don't lose out in this. Being married doesn't mean "everything I own is yours too now", especially not after his reaction.
JK 10 months ago
Throw the question/accusation back at him. If he refuses to change ownership on his property until after you, ask why he doesn't trust you. Personally I'd see this of the future to come. I watched my mum and my stepdad to the deed to our house. 3 mortgages and 1 bankruptcy later she had no home, no security, a mountain of debts and having to rent. He has never contributed to hosuehold costs (whats hers was theirs and what was his was his). She died penniless in a rental property with no central heating, no double glazing, and no shower (which due to her type of cancer would have been a godsend as she couldn't climb in/out a bath - not that they could afford to heat enough water for one at the best of times). Dont share with someone who won't share back. Protect yourself always, you're the only person you can ever truly rely on
Molly Whuppie 10 months ago (edited)
Getting angry over the request for it to be done concurrently is a red flag. Hope OP decides not to do it and then checks the laws in her state for what happens to property in divorce cases because he may be laying the ground work to do so.
Trillian 10 months ago (edited)
Don't do it. Sell him part of the house (at what it is worth) and buy part of his (at what it is worth). Don't lose out in this. Being married doesn't mean "everything I own is yours too now", especially not after his reaction.
JK 10 months ago
Throw the question/accusation back at him. If he refuses to change ownership on his property until after you, ask why he doesn't trust you. Personally I'd see this of the future to come. I watched my mum and my stepdad to the deed to our house. 3 mortgages and 1 bankruptcy later she had no home, no security, a mountain of debts and having to rent. He has never contributed to hosuehold costs (whats hers was theirs and what was his was his). She died penniless in a rental property with no central heating, no double glazing, and no shower (which due to her type of cancer would have been a godsend as she couldn't climb in/out a bath - not that they could afford to heat enough water for one at the best of times). Dont share with someone who won't share back. Protect yourself always, you're the only person you can ever truly rely on
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