The YTA or ESH crowd are wild. What made the teacher assume that anybody/everybody else in the class even knew about the OP’s home life? I had friends growing up whose parents were divorced, who had one or two dead parents, etc. they didn’t broadcast it and plenty of other kids didn’t know those details, because it was their private life. I don’t doubt th ere we’re plenty of other kids in the class who I wasn’t friends with and whose private family situations were similarly complicated.

I teach English in public school in Japan. When we study family (mom, dad, etc) in elementary school, we don’t use the student’s families for any of the examples or activities. No drawing your family’s picture than saying who each person is. Family dynamics/structure is something people should choose to share, not be forced to share.

I would have objected on the whole subject line. Personal events and emotions are not suitable as schoolwork subjects.

Looks like the teacher automatically assumed that a same sex couple couldn’t have biological children, because her church taught her that you have to have a man and a woman (of childbearing age), who are married (of course), and have sex to make a baby. That’s only half true today. You actually just need some sperm, some eggs (because they don’t all “take”), a Petri dish, and a willing surrogate to have your biological child. No marriage. No sex. Just a good doctor, an excellent healthcare plan, and a load of spare cash lying around unused.

It's not even the assumption. A teacher has no right discussing individual student's personal circumstances with the rest of the class, unless that student explicitly and willingly allows them to. As a gay man, I have to deal with being outed a lot. I am relatively open about it at work and lots of people know, so it is not the worst thing in the world. But it is my information to control.

I think the OP's response is hilarious.

On the first day of class I told a student 'Gee, I taught your older brother last year, but you don't look a thing like him." She replied "That's because I'm adopted." Struggling to recover, I managed to day "Wow, then you're parents sure know how to pick 'em, don't they?" Apparently this was the right answer, because I was a family favorite after that.

Teachers should never ask students to write about any personal experiences, it's none of their business.

This is not ok! I am the parent of a adopted child and being adopted carried a very real trauma that some kids really embody and ßome don't. It is something very personal and not ok to out someone like that. I am happy you made this substitute rethink his approach. I bet each of your classes has at least 1 adopted child and most have to hide it and making a teacher rethink k how casually they being up.adoption, you did everyone who is really self continous about their adoption a favor. How families are formed should not be up for class discussion! Any teacher who makes people do a family tree are a******s. I guarantee each class has a child or more not living with biological family.

I think if OP had made a scene after the teacher had only made the suggestion, then yes YTA or ESH. But with the substitute not letting up about it, I'm definitely going with NTA.

The teacher is allowed to be a total a*s and bring up a student's personal business for assignment fodder (a practice of which I am wildly disdainful), but the student is in the wrong. Protecting authorities for the sake of maintaining authority is what sets up an environment to be rife with abuse

I’m wondering why this teacher is going around saying they can write about very private personal stuff and that’s like their only option. Not about anything else. That’s messed up and none of her business. Your dads raised a beautiful person that handled it more maturely than I would. I would of raised a little more than just her anxiety

NTA! Love teachers in general but some people are just dumb asses! Wth? Clueless

Maybe for the ah teacher you should have made a picture graph of how you came to be. Daddy 1 met daddy 2, daddy 2 has a sister that offered to carry a baby for the 2 daddy's (just like a hetero couple that can't conceive) then along comes baby and makes a happy family.

Even so it’s not like this was a big omg im adopted situation. So nothing to write about. Completely out of line to talk about in class by the sub. There are privacy laws for a reason. They should be followed even in school. Ok the teacher didn’t know the circumstances but I doubt any kid with same sex parents doesn’t know that at least one parent isn’t the parent. And were adopted. It’s not shocking! It’s completely different to find out when you are a teen and have been led to believe otherwise. That would be a life altering situation but not this one.

Actually, the OPs adoption/non-adoption status would make a great topic for the essay. He gets to school someone that has not been exposed to how gay families with children work and maybe help get them out of the 19th century.

NTA... but probably took it too far. Pretty funny for the class, but it would have been more impactful on the Sub's totally inappropriate behaviour if you had been more assertive about your objection, i.e. tell her that you aren't adopted, but if you were it would be completely inappropriate to announce personal information like that to the class. Counsellor needs to be more supportive of you and have a SERIOUS conversation with the SUB about whether they want to keep working as a SUB in a modern educational environment.