“Why is a grown adult still living with her dad and his new wife?” asks someone who is entirely out of touch with the cost-of-living crisis and is happy to see the new kids’ relationship with its half-sibling begin with resentment and bitterness.

I wasn't able to afford to move out of my mother's home until I was 28, and then health issues forced me to move back in with her a year later. Didn't move out again until I was 31. My landlord has never raised my rent, but the cost of rentals in my area has skyrocketed over the last couple years. If for some reason I could no longer live in my apartment, I would probably have to move in with one of my parents again. I have nightmares about this at least twice a week.

Maybe the three of them should sit down together and look at budgets. It's entirely possible that there are no rental situations step-daughter can afford, even with two months rent help. More than half of adults her age are still living with parents for just that reason. This doesn't mean she has to live with them rent-free though, she could probrably contribute something to rent and bills. If they look at their combined housing budget, maybe between them they can afford the rent on a three-bedroom?

Find it a bit tacky that everyone is eager to attack the age difference (which seriously has nothing to do with the situation) rather than just the obliviousness of the stepmom (who is certainly the a** here).

Wow. She shouldn't have gotten knocked up knowing there was no room for Baby.

To answer the original question: "AITA for asking step- daughter to move out?" NTA. It's a valid request and she gave you a valid reason why she couldn't. You became TA when you kept pushing it after the fact.

Considering I'm from Italy, where the average age of moving out our parents' house is 30, I might be a little biased but... I think it's not unreasonable for the stepdaughter to stay at home for now. As many said, there's a housing problem and it's not that easy to find trustworthy roommates to live with. So they can postpone her moving out for a while. She didn't even give birth so there's no rush, and the baby can sleep with the parents at least for a year. It's more convenient anyway, who wants to get up and go to another room several times at night to feed him/her? That being said it's not unreasonable to think that the stepdaughter will eventually need to move out, unless she's willing to share her room with a toddler at the age of 24-25... Another solution would be put together the three incomes (dad, stepmom and stepdaughter) and find a three-bedroom house that can host everyone. Otherwise I really don't see any other solution.

YTA and the Dad is AH You have made it quite clear that the baby is more important than the stepdaughter. Asking your husband to ask his daughter to move out is sh$tty move on your part. You need to suck it up buttercup and deal with the limited space. If you both create a child now figure it out and stop making the stepdaughter odd man out. Unfortunately since you started this off with wanting her to move out it will become worse for her over time once the baby arrives. Can't wait to see what else you have up your sleeve once the baby is born to make it clear to everyone this is your family and that is "his" daughter and she is the "stepdaughter ".

YTA 2 months isn't nearly enough. you have to win big in the lottery to have a comfortable life without having to worry about your next meal in this economy

Step daughter should be paying rent to the parents if she wants to stay there. Idk how far along the mother is. But I'm guessing they can give step daughter 6 months notice from now before baby has to move out of the parent's room. Plenty of time to get a workable situation figured out.

Step mom is not an a*****e because 1) HER HUSBAND AGREED. Why is everyone forgetting that? He 100% agreed having his oldest move out was a reasonable ask. 2) husband made a massive, unilateral decision which majorly impacts her life behind her back. So quid pro quo, her having a private conversation is not an overstep. He lost the courtesy of her including him in every step when he did this. 3) she is allowed to talk to people. It is ridiculous that we are saying she cannot have a one on one conversation with a fellow adult who lives with her. And 4) neither husband nor stepdaughter have actually attempted to find a resolution or solution after dropping their decision. It's not over. It needs to be talked about. Where are they going to put the baby? Are the going to renovate the house? What are daughter's long term plans? How will they handle childcare? If stepdaughter isn't paying rent, will she need to provide babysitting? They need to talk about this, not shout at OP to shut up and then go hide in theirs rooms.

She could just put a cot in their bedroom for the first little while. But I bet this new mom is going to put the baby in the step-daughter's room so the nightly crying and a step-mom bursting in without knocking will drive her out. Seems that's where this is headed. Not going to get into other details. I do find it weird she didn't mention her husband's age. But I also find it equally strange that mentioning age is relevant. Going by experience with this, I do know it's strongly expected to add it in on Reddit and it's often used against the OP, no matter the issue. People get hung up on age gaps and maturity level, that may or may not have to do with the person's in question age. That's one of the reasons I stopped going to reddit for anything.

Talk to your husband and step-daughter. Ask if you all moved into a larger place, how much rent could she afford to pay. Look for a larger place within the new budget.

I just had a baby, and I told my 15yo and 11yo they are old enough to fend for themselves and that I need the space for the new baby since I can't afford a bigger house. Yeah, sounds ridiculous when I put an 11yo and 15yo in place of a 23yo, doesn't it? That's because babies don't necessarily need an entire room. That's just farther to walk anyway. Grow up and stop being a tyrant.

Just charge her rent. Expect her to also contribute to food, utilities, cable, cell phone plan, and chores. You know, like an adult. Eventually she'll figure out if she's going to be paying for it, it's time to move out. All those calling you TA, and "do you know how expensive it is..." Yes, we adults do, we had our own places at 20, and had to have 3 roommates, and eat Ramon noodles all the time, keep our crappy car running etc. we had not choice but to opt out of HS internet, Iphones, and often, heat. Look, there is nothing wrong with adult child living with parents when it makes sense for all involved. circumstances have changed, time to grow up.

Unpopular NTA - I’m stepdaughter with 13 y. younger halfsister. I was renting since I was 19 (with my parents helping financially for a few years). I had flatmates or roommates until I was able to rent small studio apartment with my now husband. And I didn't suffer. It's normal - your parents help as long as they can and in the meantime you need to learn how to deal with the world by yourself. I'm milenial, I know economy, it's not easy. So what? She is expecting her father to pay for her until one of them is dead? 23 and full time job is perfect moment to pay for your room. I would say the same if they were both her biological parents with or without a newborn. That said - they should help financially for a longer time. Pay for part of the room but for a year or so, so she have a time to think what next and learn all necessary adult skills.

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LOL, I moved out of my home at 17 and was financially independent from that time forward. The idea of a 23 year old refusing to move out is just mind-boggling to me. I get that real estate is more expensive now, but she's had YEARS to save up - and yes, you can always move into a share situation which is going to be way cheaper than getting a place on your own (that's what I did from ages 21 to 33 in NYC). I swear, the audacity...

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She is 23 not 16. She is not a baby, why is everyone here infantilizing her? She should move out For her own good. Get a roommate, grow up, suffer a little. Being young is for leaping, she has nothing to lose. She will be there forever if she doesn’t just do it. There is a new baby coming, the time is now. It’s never easy, but they’re willing to help her financially.