We all act like the bad guys sometimes. Doing something wrong or saying something hurtful. However, in many of those times, at the height of the conflict, we tend to ignore the question, “Are we in the right here?” If you don’t have that inner voice asking you the questions, internet users are here to help you. From immature adults to moms and stepdaughters drama, the internet is ready to give NTA or YTA labels to anyone.
The “AITA” subreddit saw a lot of stories come and leave. There, people raise the question, “Am I the A**hole?” and tell the main details of their story. One theme that garners a lot of attention surrounds stepparenting. As entertainment media shows, a lot of conflict arises when moms and stepdaughters meet. It might be entertaining to us, but to others—a real-life problem.
One day, user Sharp_Candy_513 posted a delicate situation on the subreddit. She’s pregnant and wanted to use one of the rooms for the upcoming baby. Reason for the A-word dilemma? Her stepdaughter occupies the room—a perfect mix for a disastrous stepdaughter and mom story.
However, don’t go posting your judgments just yet. We have taken a look at this uncomfortable mom and stepdaughter story in-depth. Suppose you are seeking meaningful professional stepparenting advice—we have you covered. In that case, we have an interview or two you can use. So, stick to the end to get the whole story and form your opinion.
What Are the Struggles of Being a Stepparent?
Stepparents must navigate the relationship waters carefully so as not to upset the children involved. However, they also have to set out clear boundaries. If looking from the surface—yes. It is her and her husband’s living space. They are having a baby together, and it’s only natural to wish to have a baby room. So, in this stepdaughter and mom situation—the case is solved. Right?
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Why Do Adult Children Not Move Out?
The pandemic played an important role in parental relationships. Around 3 million US young adults returned to their parent’s or grandparents’ houses during the pandemic. The main reason being the rising rent and costs of living. So, it’s no wonder the stepdaughter didn’t accept the offer to move out.
What to Do When a Child Doesn’t Want to Leave a Parent?
Bored Panda reached out to Robert Taibbi, who argued that the parents were too focused on their needs and not the child’s. “What motivates others are their goals, their problems – not yours,” Taibbi said, emphasizing the importance of letting them know that you’re there for them at every step. “Talk about moving out, what support you might provide — help find a place, help with moving, offer furniture, help pay for rent, etc.”
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Sharp_Candy_513
How do Children Moving Out Benefit the Parents?
Let’s say the child doesn’t move out but lives with the parents. Let’s say the child doesn’t have a job to add more fire to the case. According to the Plansponsor report, 35% of parents with adult children living with them gave up a portion of their savings. More shockingly, 26% of parents can’t pay off their loans. In this case, the economy plays a direct role in parental relationships.
“Children moving out can be a source of relief, worry, or sense of loss,” Taibbi says, “For couples who were child-centered and had their couple relationship wither over the years, this can be a time of challenge, the child is no longer the glue holding them together. This is where couples may argue more or more likely drift into parallel lives. Good time to work on the relationship, seek some form of counseling.”
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
What Step-Parents Should Not Do?
It’s easy to side with the mother. However, the cons, which are almost out of our control, state something else. Besides the economy being on the loom of depression, user Sharp_Candy_513 is a stepmother. This relationship between stepdaughter and mom should not revolve around moving out.
Stepparenting ends when a blood-related parent steps in. Thus, a step-parent, first and foremost, should understand the boundaries of the family. To make the case even more confusing, the stepparent is only a few years older than the person they are attacking.
Image credits: Ömürden Cengiz (not the actual photo)
Does Moving Out Help Relationships with Parents?
One of the most important stepparenting advice you can get is this—when your children are adults, treat them as such. “While the child sees himself as an adult, it’s easy for the parents to still slip into old, more micromanaging parenting roles. The child needs space and privacy,” Taibbi says. However, children should take responsibility, clean up after themselves, and keep semi-active contact with their parents.
Image credits: Vantha Thang (not the actual photo)
What is an Unhealthy Parent Relationship?
In a step relationship, tensions stop the formation of close bonds and sometimes cause unforeseen consequences. According to the Reddit users (and the final label verdict), the mother acted wrongly. Despite the presented arguments, most Reddit users gave Sharp_Candy_513 the infamous YTA label.
However, some supported the mother and shifted the blame onto the father.
Although, Sharp_Candy_513 did see some agreement in the comments. Some of the comments pointed out the stepdaughter as the problem. Commenters agreed that the stepdaughter acted like a little child, not an adult.
Step parents should not be making unilateral decisions about the other person's child.
I raised my stepkids sincethey were 0, 3, and 4. Unilateral decisions have nothing to do with being a step or not. If there are two parents involved, both should be communicating with each other. She is TA because they talked and she didn't like the answer so she decided to continue it anyway. If you reverse it: If they all agreed she would move out the dad decided she could stay without talking to his wife, that would be equally uncool. (Tired of stepparents being treated as less than when some of us we put in more work than "real" parents)
Load More Replies...Why is my husband's daughter still living here, asks step-mum who is in the age range to be the daughter's older sister.
Your comment made me chuckle!! I wish the stepmom would have mentioned dads age so I wouldn't have to assume he is an older man !
Load More Replies...Step parents should not be making unilateral decisions about the other person's child.
I raised my stepkids sincethey were 0, 3, and 4. Unilateral decisions have nothing to do with being a step or not. If there are two parents involved, both should be communicating with each other. She is TA because they talked and she didn't like the answer so she decided to continue it anyway. If you reverse it: If they all agreed she would move out the dad decided she could stay without talking to his wife, that would be equally uncool. (Tired of stepparents being treated as less than when some of us we put in more work than "real" parents)
Load More Replies...Why is my husband's daughter still living here, asks step-mum who is in the age range to be the daughter's older sister.
Your comment made me chuckle!! I wish the stepmom would have mentioned dads age so I wouldn't have to assume he is an older man !
Load More Replies...
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