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Husband Gets The Ick From Wife’s “Push Present” Demands, Tells Her She’s Not Worth It
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Husband Gets The Ick From Wife’s “Push Present” Demands, Tells Her She’s Not Worth It

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Bringing a new life into this world is no small feat, and every person who does it deserves appreciation for their efforts.

One woman who is about to give birth to her first child demanded a “push present” from her husband—a car that would be exclusively hers. However, the man, Reddit user Throwra-pushpresent, thought it was too much and said her expectations were unrealistic.

His reply led to a heated argument between the two of them over entitlement, gratitude, and the true meaning of what it means to be a parent.

Unable to resolve it, the future dad made a post on r/AITAH, asking its members to share their opinions on the matter.

This man was flabbergasted by his wife’s extravagant “push present” request, so he turned to the internet for advice

Image credits: Omar Lopez / unsplash (not the actual photo)

“AITAH for telling my wife she is not worthy of what she’s asking for her ‘push present?'”

“My wife and I have been together for 5 years. She’s pregnant with our first right now.

Few days ago, she sends me a TikTok video of a woman over one of those extremist podcasts talking about deserving some kind of a “push present”. At first I didn’t even know what that meant. But when I looked it up, it’s basically a thank you gift to the woman who brought your child in the world.

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This concept is and still seems very strange to me. I understand seeking appreciation from your husband for what women go through during pregnancy and childbirth, but it’s the materialistic part that gave me the ick.

The woman on TikTok went on and on about how it’s a “body for a body” which meant the man would have to get a permanent tattoo on his lower body, give her a house and a car as a gift exclusively to her.

Image credits: Solen Feyissa / unsplash (not the actual photo)

I felt that those expectations are very entitled, honestly a little vindictive, envious (permanent tattoo part) and very over the top for my taste. The decision to bring a child in the world is both partners’ decision. My wife in our case is not forced to be a mom or be pregnant, as she wants to be a parent too.

I simply replied to the TikTok with laughing emojis and moved on, thinking it was the end of it and probably thought she meant to send that TikTok as a satire, like: “oh look how dumb this woman is, thinking she deserves all that”

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She was in the other room when I reacted to the video, so she comes to me and tells me that she doesn’t expect a tattoo and a house exclusively for her, but she wants me to dip into my personal savings to get her a car exclusively for her.

I looked at her, almost shocked and began laughing. I thought my wife and I had similar views on how extremist people can be, and I was wrong.

I thought she was joking, and I pressed her if she was actually serious, she got very annoyed that I thought she was joking and probably imitating the entitled woman on the reel and she flatly said that she expects a real push present.

Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)

I said that her gift is the gift of parenthood and the realized outcome of a healthy baby. And materially speaking, I’ll probably gift her a Mother’s Day card, a day out or some jewelry she wants (total under 700 dollars), but nothing more.

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I said if she really wants an extra car, it’ll be “OUR” car, not just hers. She pressed more and said how it isn’t enough for what she will go through.

She kept pushing and pushing and asked me if I think she’s not worthy enough. I told her she is worthy as my partner and the mother of my child, but she has to be realistic and realize that none of us, individually speaking, is worthy of what she’s asking for. That she has to manage her expectations because I don’t see why she feels she deserves that.

It came out wrong but I didn’t mean to dismiss her as a person. She isn’t speaking to me and is crying arguing about it. I heard her criticizing me to her sister on the phone but under no circumstances would I ever considering gifting HER a car.

I feel bad she is hurting right now but I don’t feel bad for giving her a reality check.” 

Credits: throwra-pushpresent

This situation could be described as an example of mixed communication and mismatched expectations

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Image credits: Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo)

As you may have understood by now, a push present, sometimes also called a ‘baby bauble,’ is a gift that supposedly acknowledges the emotional and physical struggles put into delivering the baby.

Some trace the tradition back hundreds of years to India’s Godh Bharai ceremony, similar to modern baby showers, which involves celebrating and blessing the mother-to-be with things like food, jewelry, and family heirlooms.

It’s been said that recently, push presents have gained popularity, fueled by the rise of social media and celebrity culture.

Last month, for example, Hailey Bieber took to Instagram to share a snap of her hand that showed off a new addition to her jewelry collection: a diamond-studded gold ring that spells out “MOM.”

Given the nature of the piece, fans have speculated that the new accoutrement was a push present from her husband Justin.

But, of course, it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact prevalence of push presents, as there isn’t much concrete data available to track how common the practice has become.

Sylvia Smith, who is a relationship expert at Marriage.com, a website that offers expert advice and resources on relationships, agrees that the value of a push present should not be measured by material worth, but rather by the sentiment behind it. It doesn’t need to be extravagant to be meaningful.

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“As for whether the man should give their wives a push present or not, I feel that it is all about the intention and not the actual present,” she tells Newsweek. “It needs to be organic in nature and expectations from both partners need to be on the same page.”

And if it’s the wife expressing a specific desire for something, “a frank discussion needs to be had regarding what can work and what does feel fair in being appreciated.”

Talking about this particular case, Smith believes “it was a mixed communication and a mismatched expectation.”

“He just didn’t quite capture what it is she wanted, and his response made her feel hurt. Instead of flat-out dismissing her, it could have been an opportunity to better understand why this significant gesture meant so much to her.”

Most people believe there’s nothing wrong with the man’s reply

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But some believe he should’ve handled the situation differently

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

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As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

What do you think ?
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lenka
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "push" present was a baby. Best present ever. My husband did also come through. He bought me champagne, soft cheese and sushi.

Dirk Daring
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm NMNK, so I was going to ask if I'm out of line for thinking exactly that. So thank you.

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Apatheist Account2
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're a married couple. Everything belongs to them jointly, and they'll have a lot of extra expense with a baby. Buying a car as a reward is just weird, especially if they can't afford it. Do not be influenced by "influencers".

Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't help but wonder if maybe they just have one car, and when he takes it she doesn't have any transportation? And him saying "If we get another car it will be OUR car, not YOUR car" rubbed me the wrong way. If she wants to say it's her car, so what? How does that hurt him? I absolutely agree that the woman on TikTok is insane, but this guy sounds like a jerk.

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Deborah B
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Expensive "push" presents are for the superrich, but "not worthy" makes this guy look bad. Go with "You and this baby are worth everything, but we can't afford X". And talk about the car. If you have only one car, a second car may be a realistic "need" if one partner is using that car to commute to work, and the other is trying to grocery shop with a stroller, newborn, diaper bag, etc.

aj
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. The expensive presents are absolutely over the top but telling someone that they're "not worthy", especially someone you love, someone who is carrying a tiny human you helped made, is a horrible thing to say.

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Kim Bailey
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did anyone else not know what a "push present" was?? Cheesus...that's enough internet for today...

Fellfromthemoon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother got some jewellery from my grandfather when mother was born. I think my great-grandmother also received something at the birth of all five children of hers. Not a car for sure, or a house.

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Alexandra Nara
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my push present was hat he admired and loved my body with each transformation that happened during three pregnancies, that he supported my strange food choices during pregnancies and being a great dad and husband by lending me some space for alone time. A good marriage is not about demanding expensive things or praepregnant body..it's about support each other and appreciation for their part of wirk. you can't buy that

Momma Jess
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ya know what, by these standards where's MY present for NOT pushing out a unit? This world is overpopulated, and with my mental health and physical issues I decided not to contribute, and I should get a damn present for that if we're going by this logic. The entitlement is strong

Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the way you think. How about also the mother's who opt for a c-section - are they getting a "cut-n-shut" gift for their surgeon because they didn't have to push? We could take this entitlement in so many ways...

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WonderWoman
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pathetic people getting stupid ideas from other pathetically greedy people. You don't get a gift for having a child, you don't get a gift from your spouse for getting married. Just STOP

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh!! I have never heard this term before but it is disgusting. I can't believe that women are using it. It sounds like something an extremely misogynistic man who has multiple wives, doesn't care about them, and only sees them as baby breeding machines for his precious progeny would call a reward for popping out a son. "Influencers" are the scum on the bottom on your shoe. Do not give them power by copying their nonsense.

Corvus
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A "push gift" sounds like a very entitled and snobbish thing to do. I'm definitely with the husband on this one.

Gavin Johnson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my daughter was born my then wife only wanted two things, not to be pregnant and a simply cooked lobster tail, she’d not really wanted lobster until she was told she couldn’t have it. On her return home I barbecued a lobster and provided her with a tub of melted butter. She was doubly happy, we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl and she had a lobster. Car? House? World peace? Nah, not for her! 😂

Giraffy Window
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My push present was the massive hormone flux giving birth to SUPER FRAGILE ANXIETY WOMAN 🤸‍♀️ And a partner who initially had no clue how much energy a baby physically extracts from breastfeeding, being all sulky over the Dirty Dishes and Clean Laundry mountain ranges.

somed ay
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People. Don’t live your life according to what you see on Tik Tok or anywhere else. Other people’s make believe has nothing to do with you.

Beth Wheeler
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Push presents are just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. You wanted to have babies you don't get it deserve expensive a*s presents for having them. You should be thankful when you have a healthy baby because unfortunately not everybody does. I was very happy and surprised when my husband brought me flower arrangements with stuffed animals in them that I sat on the dresser when we came home. The entitlement is getting crazier and crazier every day.

RAM31280
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While having a good reliable vehicle to transport a newborn to all of the required appointments is a good and important thing to have, especially if planning ahead for future use to haul a child, or more children and strollers/wagon, etc, but to expect one as a gift for her exclusive use is ridiculous. I'm surprised this post doesn't mention the condition of their current vehicle(s), but that is something a family should include in their family plan, not spring on a partner like this. NTA.

Tenebre
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really weird to me that people are focusing on him saying she's not worthy when he is literally just repeating the words she said back to her. Or do some of you guys think, yeah, there are some people out there who are deserving of a car because they chose to have a baby...? Ambushing your partener and trying to guilt trip them into purchasing you a new car out of their PERSONAL savings is massively manipulative. Saying, "Hey we need a second car because of the baby" is incredibly different from, "I'M having the baby WE chose to have so I deserve a car out of YOUR savings."

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Small gifts and gestures are always good in a relationship, especially when you're about to have a lot less time together. But if what you do as a parent, what you sign up for and is don't for the child, if you expect payment for that, you are not ready for parenthood.

AG
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Small presents and gestures are always good but once they become expected they lose their value and meaning.

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ZGutr
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure! Lets take people posting their fake life's on tiktok as the norm. (How much better would the planet become if there was no tiktok and no instagram)

Damned_Cat
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend's sister hinted to her husband about a push present, thinking like maybe a birthstone necklace or "best mom" charm. He got her a gym membership so she could get about losing the baby weight. Sometimes it's better to get nothing.

ConstantlyJon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Friendly reminder to check the point totals on the YTA comments vs. the NTA comments. Always telling. What I'm very confused about here is dude has to DIP INTO HIS PERSONAL SAVINGS to buy a car?? First of all, how much in personal savings do you have???? Secondly, why is your personal savings different from her savings? That sounds like your marriage is already in a hard place if you've got thousands stored away that she has no access to. Maybe she's wanting to see if you're willing to share your money with her? I agree, she looks real bad here, but it looks more to me like there's some root-issue marriage s**t around money going on than anything. She might still be ungrateful and expect too much, but that's where you start to actually solve this argument.

Schmebulock
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm betting this is completely fake BS. There are just too many things that are unbelievable going on in this story. On the off chance, it is true they should not be married let alone having a baby.

FM MD
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So if she was pregnant with triplets she'll get a bus!?nta

nicholas nolan
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone sucks here.("not worthy"? Bruh.) But the concept of a "push present" sucks the most. The f**k out of here with that s**t, lmao. We got a baby to take care of, we can't afford no goddamn car right now.

Robert T
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First time I've heard the term "push present". You got a baby. What the hell else do you want?

ThisIsMe
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking her expectations were over the top, but then he said "my personal savings..." Why does HE have personal savings? Wouldn't that be THEIR money? I think they both need a reality check!

James Simpson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He seems more like a jerk than an a*****e. Does HE have his own car? Car they afford to get her a new car, JOINTLY owned? If not, say so, but at least realize she's gonna need some wheels to get around safely going forward.

Rachael green
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Has the world gone insane? All I wanted when I was left in the ward at night with our first baby was a maccies breakfast at visiting time in the morning. And it wasn't a push present, just what I was craving after 12 hours delivering a healthy little baby. Which my husband was happy to pick up on his way. I'm only 35 but these posts make me feel like I'm 100 years old. Nuts.

Kare Deter
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had 3 kids, no push presents Time to sit down my hubby and ask for retroactive gifts LOL

GirlFriday
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recently got a new niece. My brother gifted his wife with a new chair rocking chair for the nursery after she chose a non-rocking chair for the first baby and really hated it.

Libstak
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A push present isn't the issue, the language of the wife not being "worthy" of the gift is the problem. His language was disparaging, he needed to just state the fact that their family budget does not allow for such a thing, if they were wealthy, yes, of course but the priority is the immediate needs of the baby and mums home care right now, or something sensible like that.

Samantha Cookson
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I asked after my daughter was born for a simple necklace with her initials on maybe her birthstone. Nothing crazy £50-£80 tops.. she’s nearly 4 now and still not got a necklace 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ just gonna go out and buy it myself

Lorene Webb
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Back in 1965, I got married at the young age of 16 and my first baby was born in 1966. It was a boy and the best thing I ever did for him was to name him after his 2 grandfathers, William (my dad) and Edward ( my father-in-law). My father-in-law came into my hospital room to see the new baby and me and brought with him an envelope containing 2- $100 bills. I was totally surprised. I certainly never expected it. I cried over his kindness because in 1966, $200 was quite a bit of cash for a young mother. As soon as I was home with the baby and well enough to move around, my husband and I went to the bank and started an account for the baby. Move ahead 2 yrs. and here comes the second baby, also a boy. Again my father in law was so happy the baby and I were both in good health and that this baby was also a boy, that he presented me with a second gift of $200, which also went into the bank for the newest member of the family. He continued adding to those accounts the rest of his life.

jennifer brinkman
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If his wife isn't a whore why should he "pay" her to have the kids she is going to birth! What a stupid idea!! Tiktok bribery from skanks isn't the answer!!

Caring Panda
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

a lot of people above are only focussing on the gift of the child which he could have said better but they totally ignored the card, flowers and jewellery he was going to buy for her. So he was going to buy something, just not the car she wanted.

Janet L
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone out there is making up all these crappy new customs that make people feel they’re missing out if they don’t join in. Gender reveals and birth photography are bad enough but a “push present”? Give me a break.

P.L. Packer
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "push" present was walking up and down steep stairs to wash cloth diapers and baby clothes. Then cook meals and clean house. The second time it was to be left alone to "rest" with a newborn and a 3 year old while my husband went out to eat so he wouldn't bother me. I had a frozen TV dinner. Then I got to go up and down steep stairs to wash cloth diapers and baby clothes. I cooked and cleaned the next day because I got to "rest" the day I came home.

somnomania (she/her, queer)
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i have zero interest in children and wouldn't inflict my genetics on one anyway, and this "push present" concept is absolutely disgusting to me. like, okay, i get maybe some flowers, some not-extravagant jewelry, fine. and maybe it's because i'm poor, but i feel like the focus should be on celebrating the new life you've made + all the incoming expenses you're about to have. your life is changed for the next 18+ years, maybe focus on that instead of material goods? like, if you want to get a new vehicle or house, maybe have that be something that you plan together and do as a result of having the baby? idk. the phrase "push present" makes me wanna throw up in my mouth a little, reducing the whole thing to something like that, it feels super skeevy. it's not that the women aren't "worthy", far from it.

Jaeger (Jaeger)
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The YTAS are obviously spoiled rotten, they need to ask their mom if they got a push present, it wasn't around when they gave birth, they popped the kid out because they wanted to that was a present in itself

CBolt
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Push present? Right up there with gender reveal parties - ridiculous.

Lyoness
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this concept so weird, but I have to be honest and say I would have loved some flowers or chocolates after our first was born. Everything that could have gone wrong did and we were both lucky to survive without permanent damage. Something tangible as acknowledgement would have been great, but I was just so grateful beby was OK it was enough.

millac
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From her request (a car exclusively for her use) I'd guess they currently share a car, so yes, though it seems extravagant on the surface, her ask is a valid one which would benefit the entire household. Even if the car wound up being in both names, there would be little harm in it being deemed "hers" exclusively, so his little "it'd be OUR car" thing irritated me. The push present thing has, historically, been for wealthy women with marriage contracts, and they would receive endowments of money, property, heirloom jewelry, etc. for producing a child. It's been a while since I've seen it, but I believe there's a scene in the film "The Duchess" where the duchess is immediately cut a sizable check for having a baby. Since most women do not have marriage 'contracts' and prenups it's never been a formal thing for the middle or lower classes. But still, SOME sort of appreciation seems a mark of a healthy relationship, and that she has to ask for it gives pause

HisHoliness The Pepe
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop letting these tiktok whores fill your empty heads with this vapid, entitled, braindead retardation. You wanna cancel every single person that speaks to men, but somehow this absolute f*****g stupidity is just fine? gtfo. You don't get to VOLUNTEER for something and then turn into a demanding entitled b***h because of it. Grow the f**k up.

HisHoliness The Pepe
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop letting these tiktok whores fill your heads with stupid nonsense b******t. You wanna collectively cancel every single person that speaks to men, but somehow this vapid, entitled, braindead retardation is okay? gtfo

Nancy Whiting
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this a one- car household? If so, does the husband drive to work?

Melissa anderson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The entitlement of these AHs on TikTok is ridiculous and the idiots who follow them are just as idiotic. The idea of getting a house or a care as a “push present “ reeks of entitlement. Nobody forced her to breed. She did it of her own free will. Where’s the press for the father who has to work to support that entitled brat and her kid?

Nahkaparturi X
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've lately noticed that for the red pill men's idiocy with A. Tate and the likes, there seems to be an equally idiotic movement with women where all of a sudden they feel entitled to "provider daddies" providing them with full upkeep of ridiculously expensive treatments and other stuff for the contribution of looking pretty and batting their eye lashes. Where went the pride of the independent woman. Times are tough and people start to act insane ...

Bella Sennei
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A "push present"? Wow... can it get any more ridiculous these days?

Eva Sawyer
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my "jobs" is as a relationship coach. The sheer number of people who are destroying perfectly good relationships over crappy TikTok advice is insane. I mean stupid stuff like "I won't even talk to a guy who makes less then $200k a year", or "he gave me the ick because he asked for no cheese on his burger. If he can't afford cheese then he can't afford me" - when he just didn't WANT cheese.

DrBronxx
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell is this? Is his wife from some sort of obscenely wealthy family that she felt a CAR as a "push present," whatever the f**k that is, is a reasonable gift? Also, he didn't say "you're not worthy". First, she was the person who brought up worth, and then what he said was "none of us, individually speaking, is worthy of what she’s asking for." That's pretty understandable.

Eunice Bentley
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

quit watching Tik Tok it is evil and totally contrived. My husband brought me flowers and knowing I felt roses were over the top he brought mixed pink and red carnations. It wasn't called a push present 50 years ago it was just an I glad you and the baby are okay.

Dana Gordon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My push present was... mmm nope nada. All this talk about she does the work, yes true but everything should be jointly decided. My husband completely did the nursery and wouldn't let me lift a finger. That counts!

StnFlwr
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he can afford to give her her own car, she should have one. Especially if they are sharing a car. And not as a push present.

Steve Flynn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a nice gesture but nobody forced her to get pregnant. If it's that much trouble, don't do it.

Featherking
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eeeeewwww!! That gave me the biggest ick of my life, ew! She’s getting A CHILD!!! I… what… so she’s what, a surrogate for her husbands child? No reward in it for her, huh? I’ve got sad news for her: the pushing is going to happen, with or without present. When did women start to squeeze out children they don’t see as a gift in themselves but expect to be bribed like gold diggers for having? No love between them, no joint happiness over THE MIRACLE OF A CHILD?! Not enough, huh? Gratitude from the man you claim to live means nothing either, it seems. Maybe I’m misunderstanding something, but EW. And OP handled it with all the skill and grace of a dead fish, so ESH, I suppose.

D. Pitbull
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Push present? How about any actual present? Apparently my husband 'can do better' than me - and I am not even worth the 'considering'. My 'present' or 'gift' for birthday... or Christmas... he couldn't be bothered to think, ask, or care. Just "get it yourself, and send me the invoice." He'd like to be known as 'a great hard-working husband' btw.

Rick Seiden
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife's push presents were always private rooms in the hospital after she gave birth.

Mrs. Joe V
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow...... wife is 1000% the a s s h o l e! Red flags all the way! Destined for divorce probably.

TennesseeHomesteadUSA
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Buy me this or pay a lot more in child support... New variation, I reckon.

TennesseeHomesteadUSA
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Selling our personal data now. AND annoying us with a barrage of popups about it. The eventual creep of greed into what started as good intentions is always interesting.

Curbz81
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I made my husband buy me a box of my favourite (expensive) chocolates. Not because i believe in push presents, but so that i had an excuse to have fancy chocolates

Rachel Pelz
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What matters more than one present is the general attitude after the baby is born. What good is an expensive present if dad doesn't change diapers, doesn't get yummy (special) favorite food for mom, does carry the baby and comfort it when it's crying? So many little ways showing appreciation. This matters way more than one present...unless you need expensive presents for an exit fund. Then again, talking about finances, maybe the dad paying into mum's pension while she stays at home, all that is preferable and shows how much the dad appreciates the mother of his child.

Sunny Day
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A push present is usually jewelry, not a car. The irony is, if she hadn't "demanded" a car in exchange for childbirth, and instead started a conversation on IF they could afford a 2nd car, there's a good chance e she would have gotten it. "Demandng" something pretty much guarantees you won't get it.

Pam
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had 2 C Sections, in fact I have had to have over 50 surgeries from health issues, but I always say the C Sections were the best because I got a present after them. The baby is your present.

Stacy s
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a new mom I was stuck in a house 45 minutes from the nearest store because we had one car. I couldn't go anywhere, I rarely could go to the doctor, I had to go do all my shopping when his dad came home from work - no going to the park, etc. I don't know about luxury "push presents", but her wantinf a second car seems reasonable.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless hubs or SO is a billionaire, women needs to rethink their demands.

Big Chungus
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "push present," besides my awesome little weirdo of a baby, was the biggest bowl of chipotle we could find. I find the whole push present thing so strange like why, be for real, the baby is the present and your health is the present...it is so stupid

The Big Bad
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something nice/beautiful/tasty in your own budget would be nice. Not to thank the mom, but to appreciate her. My mom got a washer and dryer :').

Alexandra
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The whole idea of a 'push present' is ludicrous. If you don't get a gift, will you stop pushing? No? There you go! Be thankful for a healthy baby: not everything is up for bartering.

Kathy Richardson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "push" present was a box of disposable diapers so I didn't have to use cloth right away, and I absolutely loved it!

Ken Miller
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cars reveal parties all this b******* is just the commercialization for the benefit of retailers to play on people's guilt and create new reasons to spend more money and make them richer

G A
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F*****g influencers should all set themselves on fire and jump off a f*****g high cliff.

Alex
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Frankly, I find the idea of a push present weird. It's like a rebirth of the "morning gift" which is just as weird.

Bette
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow.......just wow. How about a healthy baby? I am clearly from another era without babymoons, gender reveal parties, and push presents. Particularly after the heartbreaking and devastating loss of of our first baby, my husband and I celebrated the subsequent arrival of a healthy baby! (I think our "kids", all 6 over 30 years old would agree: There is nothing better to celebrate than a healthy baby!)

Helena
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they don't already have 2 cars, I don't think it is an unreasonable request. 1 car household with a newborn, especially if there is no real public transportation nearby, is a nightmare. Not to mention his attitude is appalling.

Alro
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But this would be a practical solution to a real problem (if any). Not a must-give present.

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Ziggy Zip
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the actual f***k is a "push present". Maybe it's cuz I had my babies before social media took off and "influencer" wasn't a "job" title. But come on. Seriously? Demanding a present for sh****g out a kid? Get an epidural and enjoy the ride. You're "push present" is surviving the birth, especially given the sh*t maternal care in half of America right now. This is exactly why I don't have any social media. Influencers are dumb.

Nimitz
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes, American consumerism moving into childbirth like expecting people to buy $2000 cellphones

lenka
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "push" present was a baby. Best present ever. My husband did also come through. He bought me champagne, soft cheese and sushi.

Dirk Daring
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm NMNK, so I was going to ask if I'm out of line for thinking exactly that. So thank you.

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Apatheist Account2
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're a married couple. Everything belongs to them jointly, and they'll have a lot of extra expense with a baby. Buying a car as a reward is just weird, especially if they can't afford it. Do not be influenced by "influencers".

Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't help but wonder if maybe they just have one car, and when he takes it she doesn't have any transportation? And him saying "If we get another car it will be OUR car, not YOUR car" rubbed me the wrong way. If she wants to say it's her car, so what? How does that hurt him? I absolutely agree that the woman on TikTok is insane, but this guy sounds like a jerk.

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Deborah B
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Expensive "push" presents are for the superrich, but "not worthy" makes this guy look bad. Go with "You and this baby are worth everything, but we can't afford X". And talk about the car. If you have only one car, a second car may be a realistic "need" if one partner is using that car to commute to work, and the other is trying to grocery shop with a stroller, newborn, diaper bag, etc.

aj
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. The expensive presents are absolutely over the top but telling someone that they're "not worthy", especially someone you love, someone who is carrying a tiny human you helped made, is a horrible thing to say.

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Kim Bailey
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did anyone else not know what a "push present" was?? Cheesus...that's enough internet for today...

Fellfromthemoon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother got some jewellery from my grandfather when mother was born. I think my great-grandmother also received something at the birth of all five children of hers. Not a car for sure, or a house.

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Alexandra Nara
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my push present was hat he admired and loved my body with each transformation that happened during three pregnancies, that he supported my strange food choices during pregnancies and being a great dad and husband by lending me some space for alone time. A good marriage is not about demanding expensive things or praepregnant body..it's about support each other and appreciation for their part of wirk. you can't buy that

Momma Jess
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ya know what, by these standards where's MY present for NOT pushing out a unit? This world is overpopulated, and with my mental health and physical issues I decided not to contribute, and I should get a damn present for that if we're going by this logic. The entitlement is strong

Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the way you think. How about also the mother's who opt for a c-section - are they getting a "cut-n-shut" gift for their surgeon because they didn't have to push? We could take this entitlement in so many ways...

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WonderWoman
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pathetic people getting stupid ideas from other pathetically greedy people. You don't get a gift for having a child, you don't get a gift from your spouse for getting married. Just STOP

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh!! I have never heard this term before but it is disgusting. I can't believe that women are using it. It sounds like something an extremely misogynistic man who has multiple wives, doesn't care about them, and only sees them as baby breeding machines for his precious progeny would call a reward for popping out a son. "Influencers" are the scum on the bottom on your shoe. Do not give them power by copying their nonsense.

Corvus
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A "push gift" sounds like a very entitled and snobbish thing to do. I'm definitely with the husband on this one.

Gavin Johnson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my daughter was born my then wife only wanted two things, not to be pregnant and a simply cooked lobster tail, she’d not really wanted lobster until she was told she couldn’t have it. On her return home I barbecued a lobster and provided her with a tub of melted butter. She was doubly happy, we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl and she had a lobster. Car? House? World peace? Nah, not for her! 😂

Giraffy Window
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My push present was the massive hormone flux giving birth to SUPER FRAGILE ANXIETY WOMAN 🤸‍♀️ And a partner who initially had no clue how much energy a baby physically extracts from breastfeeding, being all sulky over the Dirty Dishes and Clean Laundry mountain ranges.

somed ay
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People. Don’t live your life according to what you see on Tik Tok or anywhere else. Other people’s make believe has nothing to do with you.

Beth Wheeler
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Push presents are just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. You wanted to have babies you don't get it deserve expensive a*s presents for having them. You should be thankful when you have a healthy baby because unfortunately not everybody does. I was very happy and surprised when my husband brought me flower arrangements with stuffed animals in them that I sat on the dresser when we came home. The entitlement is getting crazier and crazier every day.

RAM31280
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While having a good reliable vehicle to transport a newborn to all of the required appointments is a good and important thing to have, especially if planning ahead for future use to haul a child, or more children and strollers/wagon, etc, but to expect one as a gift for her exclusive use is ridiculous. I'm surprised this post doesn't mention the condition of their current vehicle(s), but that is something a family should include in their family plan, not spring on a partner like this. NTA.

Tenebre
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really weird to me that people are focusing on him saying she's not worthy when he is literally just repeating the words she said back to her. Or do some of you guys think, yeah, there are some people out there who are deserving of a car because they chose to have a baby...? Ambushing your partener and trying to guilt trip them into purchasing you a new car out of their PERSONAL savings is massively manipulative. Saying, "Hey we need a second car because of the baby" is incredibly different from, "I'M having the baby WE chose to have so I deserve a car out of YOUR savings."

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Small gifts and gestures are always good in a relationship, especially when you're about to have a lot less time together. But if what you do as a parent, what you sign up for and is don't for the child, if you expect payment for that, you are not ready for parenthood.

AG
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Small presents and gestures are always good but once they become expected they lose their value and meaning.

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ZGutr
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure! Lets take people posting their fake life's on tiktok as the norm. (How much better would the planet become if there was no tiktok and no instagram)

Damned_Cat
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend's sister hinted to her husband about a push present, thinking like maybe a birthstone necklace or "best mom" charm. He got her a gym membership so she could get about losing the baby weight. Sometimes it's better to get nothing.

ConstantlyJon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Friendly reminder to check the point totals on the YTA comments vs. the NTA comments. Always telling. What I'm very confused about here is dude has to DIP INTO HIS PERSONAL SAVINGS to buy a car?? First of all, how much in personal savings do you have???? Secondly, why is your personal savings different from her savings? That sounds like your marriage is already in a hard place if you've got thousands stored away that she has no access to. Maybe she's wanting to see if you're willing to share your money with her? I agree, she looks real bad here, but it looks more to me like there's some root-issue marriage s**t around money going on than anything. She might still be ungrateful and expect too much, but that's where you start to actually solve this argument.

Schmebulock
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm betting this is completely fake BS. There are just too many things that are unbelievable going on in this story. On the off chance, it is true they should not be married let alone having a baby.

FM MD
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So if she was pregnant with triplets she'll get a bus!?nta

nicholas nolan
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone sucks here.("not worthy"? Bruh.) But the concept of a "push present" sucks the most. The f**k out of here with that s**t, lmao. We got a baby to take care of, we can't afford no goddamn car right now.

Robert T
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First time I've heard the term "push present". You got a baby. What the hell else do you want?

ThisIsMe
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking her expectations were over the top, but then he said "my personal savings..." Why does HE have personal savings? Wouldn't that be THEIR money? I think they both need a reality check!

James Simpson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He seems more like a jerk than an a*****e. Does HE have his own car? Car they afford to get her a new car, JOINTLY owned? If not, say so, but at least realize she's gonna need some wheels to get around safely going forward.

Rachael green
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Has the world gone insane? All I wanted when I was left in the ward at night with our first baby was a maccies breakfast at visiting time in the morning. And it wasn't a push present, just what I was craving after 12 hours delivering a healthy little baby. Which my husband was happy to pick up on his way. I'm only 35 but these posts make me feel like I'm 100 years old. Nuts.

Kare Deter
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had 3 kids, no push presents Time to sit down my hubby and ask for retroactive gifts LOL

GirlFriday
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recently got a new niece. My brother gifted his wife with a new chair rocking chair for the nursery after she chose a non-rocking chair for the first baby and really hated it.

Libstak
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A push present isn't the issue, the language of the wife not being "worthy" of the gift is the problem. His language was disparaging, he needed to just state the fact that their family budget does not allow for such a thing, if they were wealthy, yes, of course but the priority is the immediate needs of the baby and mums home care right now, or something sensible like that.

Samantha Cookson
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I asked after my daughter was born for a simple necklace with her initials on maybe her birthstone. Nothing crazy £50-£80 tops.. she’s nearly 4 now and still not got a necklace 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ just gonna go out and buy it myself

Lorene Webb
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Back in 1965, I got married at the young age of 16 and my first baby was born in 1966. It was a boy and the best thing I ever did for him was to name him after his 2 grandfathers, William (my dad) and Edward ( my father-in-law). My father-in-law came into my hospital room to see the new baby and me and brought with him an envelope containing 2- $100 bills. I was totally surprised. I certainly never expected it. I cried over his kindness because in 1966, $200 was quite a bit of cash for a young mother. As soon as I was home with the baby and well enough to move around, my husband and I went to the bank and started an account for the baby. Move ahead 2 yrs. and here comes the second baby, also a boy. Again my father in law was so happy the baby and I were both in good health and that this baby was also a boy, that he presented me with a second gift of $200, which also went into the bank for the newest member of the family. He continued adding to those accounts the rest of his life.

jennifer brinkman
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If his wife isn't a whore why should he "pay" her to have the kids she is going to birth! What a stupid idea!! Tiktok bribery from skanks isn't the answer!!

Caring Panda
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

a lot of people above are only focussing on the gift of the child which he could have said better but they totally ignored the card, flowers and jewellery he was going to buy for her. So he was going to buy something, just not the car she wanted.

Janet L
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone out there is making up all these crappy new customs that make people feel they’re missing out if they don’t join in. Gender reveals and birth photography are bad enough but a “push present”? Give me a break.

P.L. Packer
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "push" present was walking up and down steep stairs to wash cloth diapers and baby clothes. Then cook meals and clean house. The second time it was to be left alone to "rest" with a newborn and a 3 year old while my husband went out to eat so he wouldn't bother me. I had a frozen TV dinner. Then I got to go up and down steep stairs to wash cloth diapers and baby clothes. I cooked and cleaned the next day because I got to "rest" the day I came home.

somnomania (she/her, queer)
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i have zero interest in children and wouldn't inflict my genetics on one anyway, and this "push present" concept is absolutely disgusting to me. like, okay, i get maybe some flowers, some not-extravagant jewelry, fine. and maybe it's because i'm poor, but i feel like the focus should be on celebrating the new life you've made + all the incoming expenses you're about to have. your life is changed for the next 18+ years, maybe focus on that instead of material goods? like, if you want to get a new vehicle or house, maybe have that be something that you plan together and do as a result of having the baby? idk. the phrase "push present" makes me wanna throw up in my mouth a little, reducing the whole thing to something like that, it feels super skeevy. it's not that the women aren't "worthy", far from it.

Jaeger (Jaeger)
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The YTAS are obviously spoiled rotten, they need to ask their mom if they got a push present, it wasn't around when they gave birth, they popped the kid out because they wanted to that was a present in itself

CBolt
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Push present? Right up there with gender reveal parties - ridiculous.

Lyoness
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this concept so weird, but I have to be honest and say I would have loved some flowers or chocolates after our first was born. Everything that could have gone wrong did and we were both lucky to survive without permanent damage. Something tangible as acknowledgement would have been great, but I was just so grateful beby was OK it was enough.

millac
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From her request (a car exclusively for her use) I'd guess they currently share a car, so yes, though it seems extravagant on the surface, her ask is a valid one which would benefit the entire household. Even if the car wound up being in both names, there would be little harm in it being deemed "hers" exclusively, so his little "it'd be OUR car" thing irritated me. The push present thing has, historically, been for wealthy women with marriage contracts, and they would receive endowments of money, property, heirloom jewelry, etc. for producing a child. It's been a while since I've seen it, but I believe there's a scene in the film "The Duchess" where the duchess is immediately cut a sizable check for having a baby. Since most women do not have marriage 'contracts' and prenups it's never been a formal thing for the middle or lower classes. But still, SOME sort of appreciation seems a mark of a healthy relationship, and that she has to ask for it gives pause

HisHoliness The Pepe
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop letting these tiktok whores fill your empty heads with this vapid, entitled, braindead retardation. You wanna cancel every single person that speaks to men, but somehow this absolute f*****g stupidity is just fine? gtfo. You don't get to VOLUNTEER for something and then turn into a demanding entitled b***h because of it. Grow the f**k up.

HisHoliness The Pepe
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop letting these tiktok whores fill your heads with stupid nonsense b******t. You wanna collectively cancel every single person that speaks to men, but somehow this vapid, entitled, braindead retardation is okay? gtfo

Nancy Whiting
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this a one- car household? If so, does the husband drive to work?

Melissa anderson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The entitlement of these AHs on TikTok is ridiculous and the idiots who follow them are just as idiotic. The idea of getting a house or a care as a “push present “ reeks of entitlement. Nobody forced her to breed. She did it of her own free will. Where’s the press for the father who has to work to support that entitled brat and her kid?

Nahkaparturi X
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've lately noticed that for the red pill men's idiocy with A. Tate and the likes, there seems to be an equally idiotic movement with women where all of a sudden they feel entitled to "provider daddies" providing them with full upkeep of ridiculously expensive treatments and other stuff for the contribution of looking pretty and batting their eye lashes. Where went the pride of the independent woman. Times are tough and people start to act insane ...

Bella Sennei
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A "push present"? Wow... can it get any more ridiculous these days?

Eva Sawyer
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my "jobs" is as a relationship coach. The sheer number of people who are destroying perfectly good relationships over crappy TikTok advice is insane. I mean stupid stuff like "I won't even talk to a guy who makes less then $200k a year", or "he gave me the ick because he asked for no cheese on his burger. If he can't afford cheese then he can't afford me" - when he just didn't WANT cheese.

DrBronxx
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell is this? Is his wife from some sort of obscenely wealthy family that she felt a CAR as a "push present," whatever the f**k that is, is a reasonable gift? Also, he didn't say "you're not worthy". First, she was the person who brought up worth, and then what he said was "none of us, individually speaking, is worthy of what she’s asking for." That's pretty understandable.

Eunice Bentley
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

quit watching Tik Tok it is evil and totally contrived. My husband brought me flowers and knowing I felt roses were over the top he brought mixed pink and red carnations. It wasn't called a push present 50 years ago it was just an I glad you and the baby are okay.

Dana Gordon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My push present was... mmm nope nada. All this talk about she does the work, yes true but everything should be jointly decided. My husband completely did the nursery and wouldn't let me lift a finger. That counts!

StnFlwr
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he can afford to give her her own car, she should have one. Especially if they are sharing a car. And not as a push present.

Steve Flynn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a nice gesture but nobody forced her to get pregnant. If it's that much trouble, don't do it.

Featherking
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eeeeewwww!! That gave me the biggest ick of my life, ew! She’s getting A CHILD!!! I… what… so she’s what, a surrogate for her husbands child? No reward in it for her, huh? I’ve got sad news for her: the pushing is going to happen, with or without present. When did women start to squeeze out children they don’t see as a gift in themselves but expect to be bribed like gold diggers for having? No love between them, no joint happiness over THE MIRACLE OF A CHILD?! Not enough, huh? Gratitude from the man you claim to live means nothing either, it seems. Maybe I’m misunderstanding something, but EW. And OP handled it with all the skill and grace of a dead fish, so ESH, I suppose.

D. Pitbull
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Push present? How about any actual present? Apparently my husband 'can do better' than me - and I am not even worth the 'considering'. My 'present' or 'gift' for birthday... or Christmas... he couldn't be bothered to think, ask, or care. Just "get it yourself, and send me the invoice." He'd like to be known as 'a great hard-working husband' btw.

Rick Seiden
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife's push presents were always private rooms in the hospital after she gave birth.

Mrs. Joe V
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow...... wife is 1000% the a s s h o l e! Red flags all the way! Destined for divorce probably.

TennesseeHomesteadUSA
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Buy me this or pay a lot more in child support... New variation, I reckon.

TennesseeHomesteadUSA
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Selling our personal data now. AND annoying us with a barrage of popups about it. The eventual creep of greed into what started as good intentions is always interesting.

Curbz81
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I made my husband buy me a box of my favourite (expensive) chocolates. Not because i believe in push presents, but so that i had an excuse to have fancy chocolates

Rachel Pelz
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What matters more than one present is the general attitude after the baby is born. What good is an expensive present if dad doesn't change diapers, doesn't get yummy (special) favorite food for mom, does carry the baby and comfort it when it's crying? So many little ways showing appreciation. This matters way more than one present...unless you need expensive presents for an exit fund. Then again, talking about finances, maybe the dad paying into mum's pension while she stays at home, all that is preferable and shows how much the dad appreciates the mother of his child.

Sunny Day
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A push present is usually jewelry, not a car. The irony is, if she hadn't "demanded" a car in exchange for childbirth, and instead started a conversation on IF they could afford a 2nd car, there's a good chance e she would have gotten it. "Demandng" something pretty much guarantees you won't get it.

Pam
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had 2 C Sections, in fact I have had to have over 50 surgeries from health issues, but I always say the C Sections were the best because I got a present after them. The baby is your present.

Stacy s
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a new mom I was stuck in a house 45 minutes from the nearest store because we had one car. I couldn't go anywhere, I rarely could go to the doctor, I had to go do all my shopping when his dad came home from work - no going to the park, etc. I don't know about luxury "push presents", but her wantinf a second car seems reasonable.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless hubs or SO is a billionaire, women needs to rethink their demands.

Big Chungus
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "push present," besides my awesome little weirdo of a baby, was the biggest bowl of chipotle we could find. I find the whole push present thing so strange like why, be for real, the baby is the present and your health is the present...it is so stupid

The Big Bad
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something nice/beautiful/tasty in your own budget would be nice. Not to thank the mom, but to appreciate her. My mom got a washer and dryer :').

Alexandra
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The whole idea of a 'push present' is ludicrous. If you don't get a gift, will you stop pushing? No? There you go! Be thankful for a healthy baby: not everything is up for bartering.

Kathy Richardson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "push" present was a box of disposable diapers so I didn't have to use cloth right away, and I absolutely loved it!

Ken Miller
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cars reveal parties all this b******* is just the commercialization for the benefit of retailers to play on people's guilt and create new reasons to spend more money and make them richer

G A
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F*****g influencers should all set themselves on fire and jump off a f*****g high cliff.

Alex
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Frankly, I find the idea of a push present weird. It's like a rebirth of the "morning gift" which is just as weird.

Bette
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow.......just wow. How about a healthy baby? I am clearly from another era without babymoons, gender reveal parties, and push presents. Particularly after the heartbreaking and devastating loss of of our first baby, my husband and I celebrated the subsequent arrival of a healthy baby! (I think our "kids", all 6 over 30 years old would agree: There is nothing better to celebrate than a healthy baby!)

Helena
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they don't already have 2 cars, I don't think it is an unreasonable request. 1 car household with a newborn, especially if there is no real public transportation nearby, is a nightmare. Not to mention his attitude is appalling.

Alro
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But this would be a practical solution to a real problem (if any). Not a must-give present.

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Ziggy Zip
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the actual f***k is a "push present". Maybe it's cuz I had my babies before social media took off and "influencer" wasn't a "job" title. But come on. Seriously? Demanding a present for sh****g out a kid? Get an epidural and enjoy the ride. You're "push present" is surviving the birth, especially given the sh*t maternal care in half of America right now. This is exactly why I don't have any social media. Influencers are dumb.

Nimitz
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes, American consumerism moving into childbirth like expecting people to buy $2000 cellphones

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