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Person Asks Folks Online To Share Examples Of Positive Masculinity After Hearing Too Many “Toxic” Ones, And 30 Folks Deliver
There’s a lot that’s wrong with the world, and the root of all evil, mostly, are humans themselves. And as if that wasn’t enough that the entire species is nearly solely responsible for the state of things on the planet, the species also needs to come up with social constructs that are toxic beyond belief.
But we’re not here to talk about the toxic because enough is enough and we now need positive examples of something that many have already discussed in detail from a negative side—and that is masculinity.
Yep, one Reddit user, after having enough of it, asked the lovely folks of the very popular social medium to share examples of constructive, uplifting or downright positive masculinity, whether specific of general.
Over 4,500 comments later, and nearly 17,000 upvotes, the threat went viral with positivity, so Bored Panda has gathered the best ways of how any guy can show a positive and constructive example to others through who they are as a human being.
So, check out the curated list below, vote and comment on the most rewarding examples of masculinity, and why not share your own examples in the comment section under the list!
More Info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I fell asleep on the sofa after a really hard day, but I was sort of dozing, not fully asleep. My 16 year old son came into the room, saw me sleeping, and started tiptoeing around, shut the blinds, turned the lights off and covered me in a blanket because he was going to use the backyard gym which required a window to be open for an extension lead and he didn't want me to get cold. It was just so thoughtful and did surprise me a bit because he normally has tunnel vision.
He's also really stepped up the last few weeks, I've been on sick leave, I'm a nurse and got attacked by a patient so have my hand in a soft cast for ligament damage. He's cooked pretty much every evening. He has also been meal planning for the week. I am married, but it's turned into a bit of 'us time' and he's really enjoying learning to cook.
I'm so proud of him and told him this the other day and we had a huge hug. I love him so much.
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#2
My husband switching seats on an airline with a teenage girl being harassed by an old creep. Hes very large, bearded, and wears metal t-shirts. He plopped down next to creeper and said "you said you were buying drinks?"
#3
Freaking Terry Crews! In a world where men are shamed for talking about sexual assault against them, Terry Crews openly does it! And he’s seen as the “big dude manly man”. He’s trying to set an example for other male victims out there.
#4
In high school one time, a guy gave his guy best friend a birthday gift, and guy 2 loved it so much he gave guy 1 the biggest hug in the middle of class. I think everyone’s hearts melted. All guys should be that confident / allowed to be that confident.
#5
The pastor at my church brings a group to the pride parade to support "all of god's children." He started asking me come with them to give out "dad hugs" to the younger folks who have been abandoned by their families because they are gay. He said I'm the most dad like person he's met, huge, bald, beard, glasses, pot belly, flannel shirt, etc. Most of the people I gave hugs to did it as a lark, but there were a few who really needed to get a big bear hug and be told that they're ok, and I'm proud of them.
#6
anonymous said:
A father teaching his sons to love and respect their mother even though they’re in the middle of a nasty divorce.
More-Masterpiece-561 replied:
Years ago I saw this post on FB that a father was helping out his sons to cook his ex wife's favorite dish and bake a cake for her birthday. I was a preteen at the time, I thought that's the kind of man I wanna be when I grow up.
#7
bluep3001 said:
President Zelenskyy…
Heavy_Mycologist_104 replied:
Abso-[friggin]-lutely, THIS. Zelenskiy is a true hero, forced in impossible situations to step up and show incredible bravery and humanity.
#8
I’m a figure skater. We share the ice with hockey players, and I cannot get over how nice it feels when hockey players get rowdy and bang on the glass and cheer when you’re doing something cool, the same way a hockey fan would at an exciting hockey game. It’s hilarious but it’s also confidence inducing.
When it first happened, I thought they were trolling me. I just rolled my eyes and continued my practice.
But when I got off the ice, I was swarmed with questions like:
“HOW DO YOU DO ALL THAT WITHOUT PADDING OR A HELMET?!”
“HOW DO YOU LAUNCH YOURSELF INTO THE AIR LIKE THAT?”
“AREN’T YOU AFRAID OF FALLING?”
“DON’T YOU GET DIZZY SPINNING THAT FAST?”
It’s wholesome as f**k. They’re genuinely intrigued by this sport. A bunch of dudes who make their own sport even more entertaining by beating the s**t out of each other have no shame in getting rowdy to hype up their figure skating counterparts.
EDIT: Thank you guys for the awards!! I love sharing these types of wholesome experiences with anyone who will listen!
Sasha 2 years ago
Figure skaters in general are in the same category as ballet dancers for me. That is, f*****g unreal. There are lots of demanding and difficult jobs out there, but i can imagine how people do them. I look at ballet dancers and go "nope. How the hell does anyone do that". The physical and mental stress on these people is just unreal. The fact that they have a limited time while they are young to have the "best" part of their career, and the clock us ticking, the nonstop training and the discipline required, the heavy competition. And on top of that, for the guys, society ignoring that its a lifestyle that would leave most people a sobbing pile on the floor and perceiving it as emasculating just because theyre wearing leggings while doing some of the most physically demanding tasks you can ask of your body.
#9
Not sure if this counts… but my step dad would still come pick up my sister and I every single weekend even though we weren’t really his kids. Growing up my mom and him would break up sometimes and he said to us one day; I may not be y’all’s biological father but I will always be y’all’s dad regardless. They eventually married and are 30+ years strong today. He’s the best man I know.
#10
willowgardener said:
I once watched a couple episodes of the reality show Forged in Fire, which I felt had tons of examples of healthy masculinity.
mbensasi replied:
Yep, I remember seeing an episode where a big, older, more experienced guy saw his opponent struggling to twist some metal because he wasn’t heavy enough to apply the necessary force. Big guy stopped his own work just to help little guy. Ended up being eliminated because he didn’t have time to finish his own blade. Wasn’t upset or anything, just congratulated the little guy and walked out. With $10,000 on the line, it takes true integrity and positive masculinity to do something like that for a fellow craftsman.
Sasha 2 years ago (edited)
Blacksmiths are like the ur examples of proper men. The kind of people for some reason, that just are beyond giving a f**k about appearances or what society thinks is manly. I watch a channel of a guy that makes Damascus knives. Every vid of his has an interlude while the knives anneal, where he get one of his pretty teapots in the forge and makes some flowery tea. Then goes back to making knives. There are moments when this makes me remember orange county choppers, and realize how silly all that b******t is. Ironically it seems that its extra easy to take a man in a pink tutu seriously, because its obvious that he couldn't give 2 shits what anyone thinks he should act like, and thats a lot more masculine, that the kind of person whos too fragile to use a bath bomb unless its shaped like a grenade. Most "manly" things actually end up just screaming "IM INSECURE". Its gonna sound funny, but some of the people i have found most manly, were flamboyant homosexuals. Confidence man.
#11
My brother would sing quietly to our mother in the nursing home when she no longer knew him because of dementia. He would brush her hair and wipe her face with a warm flannel to comfort her. It was beautiful
#12
marcus_borealis said:
Manly dads who patiently sit on the floor and have a tea party with their toddler daughters.
Bells87 replied:
When I was about 11, I got the game Dreamphone for Christmas. For those who don't know, the premise of Dreamphone is to "call" "boys" to find out which one has a crush on you. Perfect game for preteen girls. I was so excited and asked my mom to play with me, since it's Christmas and my friends can't come over. She said no. But my dad said he'd play with me.
My dad was a burley truck driver who loved Philadelphia sports, had a woodworking bench in the basement, and was definitely a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He also had 9 sisters, the majority of which were younger than him.
He was more than happy to play with me.
He'd also play Pretty, Pretty Princess with me when I was a kid too.
#13
So, a couple months into dating my boyfriend he bought a truck. Well, it started making a grinding noise a few weeks later. Some context, I'm a female mechanic. So, when I went over that weekend I offered to take a look at it.
We did some grocery shopping for supper. And then when we got back I started to work on it. He made supper. And then when he was done he came out and sat with me.
My ex wouldn't even let me work on his truck with him because he didn't like that I knew more about it then him. And when I first met my Bf he told everyone we met that I was a mechanic.
Sasha 2 years ago (edited)
Contrary to popular belief, there is no gene that men have that makes them inherently better at wielding a screwdriver. People have different talent and skillsets. Makes us good at different things. All people generally have some capability for doing all things humans can do. Sexual dimorphism isnt so extreme that women cant hang a shelf, or ride on a train (victorian joke, there was victorian worry that if women were to ride trains, the speed would make there uterus fall out).
#14
DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE said:
Gym bros randomly appearing to spot or encourage is hilarious and positive.
StinkyStangler replied:
I remember when I was a little younger, like 19 or so, I had just started going to the gym frequently and was trying to start deadlifts. I obviously had no idea what I was doing and felt mad self conscious, but some random huge dude came up to me, gave me help with my form and technique, and then just wandered off. That always stood out to me and really helped me get more comfortable in the gym.
BasedWang12 2 years ago
There are a buncha gym rats Ive seen do this. "Don't hurtchur back bro!"
#15
My bros and friends are all hood but we've got into the habit of saying "love you" whenever we leave. We've lost so many friends and family the last few years (not due to covid).
Cat Palmer 2 years ago
When we were teenagers my sister and I made a pact to never say "I love you" to each other as it was sappy and stupid and we weren't those kind of girls. I'm pleased to say we soon grew out of that and the last thing I said to my sister before she died was "I love you. See you soon."
#16
My husband and his best friend calling each other up to talk about their mental health struggles and support each other through tough times.
Immortal Emperor Paradox 2 years ago
On the other hand my relatives: "Depression does not exist."
#17
bobot_ said:
My husband is my biggest supporter when it comes to my career. He's like my hype man when I'm doubting myself. I value it so much. (Side note: I earn more and if anything, it just makes him prouder).
saint_of_thieves replied:
Guy here. When I got married, my dad gave me a piece of advice. He said to help each other achieve the other person's dreams. If you don't, you're just two people living in the same house.
#18
Physical-Primary-256 said:
A single dad started teaching other dads how to do their daughters hair.
StinkApprentice replied:
A local girl scout troop did their Silver Award project called "Daddy Doo's" and taught fathers how to do their younger daughters hair. And had gift packs for the girls. It ran the gammut of giant meatheads, tiny skinny guys, and everyone in between. They ended up adding two more sessions because it became so popular.
#19
anonymous said:
A guy standing up for his friend or a woman he doesn't know against a bully/creeper.
kyledouglas521 replied:
There's a related one here that I think needs to be heard more: standing up *TO* your guy friends when they're being creepers. Or just being [bad] to/about women.
As someone close to them, you have the biggest chance to make an impact on their behavior. Letting misogynist [things] go or laughing it off because that's just how guys are is implicit confirmation to them that this thing they said/did is okay.
Mark Alibozek 2 years ago
I had a couple of good friends who kept trying to use me to help them cheat on their wives because I'm divorced and am very likable and am able to talk to and befriend women. At one point had a couple of teenage girls living with me because they were out of state and had no one to turn to for help. At one point one told me to invite him over so he could hang out with them. I told him no because he's married. He said that's what friends are for. I said no and that as a friend my job is to keep him from messing up his marriage. Never hung out with him again. Second tried something similar and I blocked him. I'm not here to help others cheat!
#20
ral365 said:
A father being a good example for his son.
magnusbearson replied:
Growing up poor, having a father who dedicated his time for me and my brothers meant the world. Has given me emotional tools I observe lacking in many of my friends. So I sometimes take that role with them, having the hard talks and explaining in depth the nuances of life.
Pernille Dyre 2 years ago
My father... and we are two daughters... we know sports, democracy, our homework etc. We lived a childhood with parents that were there for us with room, presence, space, education, ambition and a lot of fun...
#21
anonymous said:
A father not shaming their sons for crying.
zoidberg005 replied:
When I see a man who is able to cry, I see a powerful strong person who knows how to deal with their emotions in a healthy way. This is what I want for my son. This is something I do not have myself.
Rick Seiden 2 years ago
I can't cry because of the societal perception that boys shouldn't cry. I wish I could, but I can't get do it. So I made sure to tell my son that it's OK to cry. Crying is normal. Crying is a relief. Crying helps your body deal with pent up emotions that are too much. Crying helps you feel better. I told him I wish I could cry, because I do. I wish I could lay down in bed some nights and cry the day away. It would make life so much better. I don't know if he does or doesn't cry, but I really tried my best to tell him it was OK if he needed to.
#22
The Brown-Stigler Incident. A German Bf-109 pilot (Stigler) not only spared a crippled American B-17 (Brown), he escorted it out of German airspace. Botb men survived the war and became close friends until their deaths.
LuckyL 2 years ago
Just reminded me of my German Granddad and his American friend Jim - they met in a hospital in Germany during the war and became friends. My Grandpa gave him a German Uniform, told him not to speak and they went to drink a beer. Jim told him, that Germany has basically lost the war, and that my Grandpa should get his family and move out of east Germany as soon as he's home. Which he did, they moved to Bremerhafen where he met my Grandma. They stayed in contact until my Grandpa died, but I don't think they've met again.
#23
Absolutely any time dads do fun things with their daughters and don't care about how they look! Dads with makeup, coloured nails, and fun hairstyles make my heart melt.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
Semi-unrelated story: in my country there's a national charity event in the weeks before christmas called The Glass House where DJ's will lock themselves in to raise money for varying charities. You can visit the Glass House and watch the DJ's at work. In 2016 it was the Red Cross and this six year old boy came to the House with his father. The boy had untreatable brainstem cancer and he wanted to paint people's nails to raise money for The Red Cross. They had the idea of raising around 100 euros, if they were lucky. It got so much attention he ended up painting hundreds of nails, on men, women and children, and collected over 2.5 million euros. The boy, Tijn, passed away half a year later.
#24
Guys who just adore their partners. I was washing dishes the other day and I asked him to dry the ones on the rack so I could do more and his friends started teasing him he said "you're just jealous I have something you don't, they are just so f*****g incredible dude you have no idea" I teared up a little bit not gonna lie
#25
My big brother was tough on me growing up as many big brothers are. People without brothers would call it toxic and maybe it was. But my brother was there for me through my hardest moments and he’s there for me during my best.
He works at a large company and got me an internship when I was in college. I was nervous and the culture at the company was aggressive. My brother would take me into meeting rooms and give me hype talks on a frequent basis, we thought we were “big men”.
At the end of my internship, I was asked to give a presentation infront of around 50 people (senior leadership) on my work during the summer. I prepared a presentation but was horrified. An hour before my presentation, he pulled me into a meeting room and had me present to him. At the end, he said you’re going to kill it. He then handed me a gift which had a Mont Blanc pen inside of it with a note and told me to hold it during my presentation. We both cried and hugged.
This meeting room was an all glass room. Lol.
Side note: many years later I am still working (full-time) at this same company.
no thoughts, just frog 2 years ago
I don't have good brother like this, I wish I did. My brother is unsupportive of me because I'm LGBTQ+.
#26
Using pickup trucks to help others out,
Need help moving? In the Ditch? Stuck in the snow?
Gimme 5 mins to throw some pants on and I'm there
Wheeskers 2 years ago
That's my hub. During the freeze last year, we had no water for about 5 days. He went out every morning and brought 2, 3 big buckets of water from one neighbors pool to all 10 houses in our cul-de-sac. If he can help, he will. Sometimes to the point I have to say stop already! He is 67 after all.
#27
Sometimes you see a guy just being and giving a off a "danger" vibe, then they get aware of your presence and their entire body language morphs into "I mean no harm" without acknowledging you otherwise.
Gabe Lumbus 2 years ago
I always try to be mindful of this. If I'm walking behind a woman I never walk directly behind them. I move to one side so she can easily see what I'm doing and slow my pace a bit so she can tell I'm not trying to keep up with her. Just a very small and simple example of this post.
#28
xyanon36 said:
Uncle Iroh. Like literally everything he does.
PM_4_Gravy said:
I actually watched avatar for the first time last year, and while watching it I had recently learned of just how much I had hurt people I love and cared about in my life. It was near the middle to end of the series when my shame and disappointment in myself had really reached its climax where Iroh and Zuko really started to resonate with me. I was particularly tearful at their reunion, as I had seen mirrored what my actions had done to hurt people but they forgave me and gave me another chance anyways. I’m definitely not the greatest person but I’m working on it, and Iroh is someone I’ve been striving to become, and I really feel with Zuko’s journey of redemption and self discovery
kathryn stretton 2 years ago
Don't beat yourself up too much. You can't change the past. You can, however learn from your mistakes and be a better person in the future, which is what you are doing. That's what most of us have to do. If you ever bump into someone who you've hurt in the past, apolgise. Good luck to you.
#29
Aragorn. He's strong and wise and totally capable but he doesn't go out of his way to make a point of it. He's a phenomenal leader, but he doesn't force everyone to follow him. He just steps up and takes care of things and takes care of people. He's not afraid to weep. He's not afraid to express his love for his beloved but also not afraid to express his love for his friends. He's well read, bilingual, tolerant of other cultures and people. He can sing and quote poetry. He's phenomenal with animals.
He's truly humble and knows who he is and what is important. He's going to help you feel safe, and also help you grow.
Plus he's handsome AF and badass, but those are just the cherry on top.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Cinema Therapy did a whole episode on Aragorn talking about how he's like the most healthy version of masculinity ever
#30
I've always loved cooking. Not very good at it, but I keep trying to learn new things and experiment when I find the time. A friend knew about this (she and I organized a few food related events at this Uni we were working at and we had immense fun, even when certain dishes went wrong). So she gave me oven mitts on my birthday, and on the mitts there's this dude with 6 or 8 arms, all holding pans and ladles, wearing an apron that says "I'll feed all you m***********s". I love it so much that I've kept it all these years without using it once. And I'm going to keep it forever as a prized possession.
What do you think ?
Daenarys 2 years ago
I'm a 6th grade teacher and some of the things I've seen from my students really makes me feel good about this generation of kids. Some examples: The kids were sitting on the floor watching a movie (it went with our Novel unit) and one complains he can't see when he lays down and his back is sore from a recent injury so another boy moves behind him and tells him to lean on him. They sat like that through the last hour of the movie. Two boys were standing in the back of my room. One of the boys is visibly upset and the other is leaning close talking quietly to him. I go over to see what's wrong when the much bigger boy who was talking calmly told me that the other boy was 'very mad because of how some of the kids were talking to him and he just didn't know what to do with all his anger'. The bigger boy was talking him through it all. The boys just randomly hugging each other, leaning on each other, etc. They are so free with physical affection to each other that it melts my heart.
Rick Seiden 2 years ago
When I was a teenager I would hug my parents. I loved them, they loved me, we hugged. One time I was at a party and my dad came to pick me up. I got up and hugged him. Some of the other teens were a little shocked that I hugged him. Sad for them. Then my dad told me that a friend at work said that his son gave him a hug for the first time in over a year and how good it made him feel. My dad probably said something like hugging your son always feels good.
Patti Vance 2 years ago
i remember when my coworkers would comment on how they wish they had the relationship i had with my son with their sons. i never understood what they meant because i didn't have anything to measure the relationship against. eventually, i realized that it was because as a teen he was always comfortable being demonstrative with me. even when he had the teen angst & i was desperate to keep communication open he unknowingly allowed me to do it with out of the box ideas. now, he is 42, lives next door, and helps me when he can. he calls himself a mama's boy and has always been outspoken to his friends regarding how a man is comfortable in his skin and not in other's opinions. we may not always agree on things but i am glad that he learned to stand up to injustices, help strangers, and willing to share his positive masculinity.
Daenarys 2 years ago
I'm a 6th grade teacher and some of the things I've seen from my students really makes me feel good about this generation of kids. Some examples: The kids were sitting on the floor watching a movie (it went with our Novel unit) and one complains he can't see when he lays down and his back is sore from a recent injury so another boy moves behind him and tells him to lean on him. They sat like that through the last hour of the movie. Two boys were standing in the back of my room. One of the boys is visibly upset and the other is leaning close talking quietly to him. I go over to see what's wrong when the much bigger boy who was talking calmly told me that the other boy was 'very mad because of how some of the kids were talking to him and he just didn't know what to do with all his anger'. The bigger boy was talking him through it all. The boys just randomly hugging each other, leaning on each other, etc. They are so free with physical affection to each other that it melts my heart.
Rick Seiden 2 years ago
When I was a teenager I would hug my parents. I loved them, they loved me, we hugged. One time I was at a party and my dad came to pick me up. I got up and hugged him. Some of the other teens were a little shocked that I hugged him. Sad for them. Then my dad told me that a friend at work said that his son gave him a hug for the first time in over a year and how good it made him feel. My dad probably said something like hugging your son always feels good.
Patti Vance 2 years ago
i remember when my coworkers would comment on how they wish they had the relationship i had with my son with their sons. i never understood what they meant because i didn't have anything to measure the relationship against. eventually, i realized that it was because as a teen he was always comfortable being demonstrative with me. even when he had the teen angst & i was desperate to keep communication open he unknowingly allowed me to do it with out of the box ideas. now, he is 42, lives next door, and helps me when he can. he calls himself a mama's boy and has always been outspoken to his friends regarding how a man is comfortable in his skin and not in other's opinions. we may not always agree on things but i am glad that he learned to stand up to injustices, help strangers, and willing to share his positive masculinity.
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