Being in a romantic relationship means sharing stuff with the other person you wouldn’t typically share with anyone else. It can be more common stuff like hobbies or secrets and, of course, intimacy. The latter can include emotional or physical actions, as well as some other sentiments like intimate gifts. 

So, imagine a man’s surprise when he discovered that his wife had a boudoir photoshoot 3 months ago and hadn’t shared the photos with him. Well, he started questioning why she even took these photos and whether he should confront her about it, which led him to become today’s OP.

More info: Reddit

How should you react when you find something spicy about your partner that they haven’t shared with you?

Image credits: Oleksandr P (not the actual photo)

A kid was playing on an iPad when a photo of their mom’s boudoir photoshoot appeared on the screen

Image credits: Leah Newhouse (not the actual photo)

The kid showed the picture to his dad, who saw them for the first time, too, despite them being taken 3 months ago

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

The man became obsessed with the question of why his wife hadn’t shown these photos to him

Image credits: u/PalpitationCareful37

At first, he thought it might be for their anniversary, but when it passed and she didn’t reveal them, the question kept taunting him

One day, the kid was playing with his iPad while the dad was watching TV. Suddenly, the child turned to his parent and asked whether the woman whose picture appeared on his screen was his mom. 

It was indeed the kid’s mother. Only it wasn’t a simple picture — it was from a boudoir photo shoot. Bored Panda got in touch with a boudoir photographer, Kristina. Check out her website and Instagram! 

Boudoir photography is an intimate type of professional photography. The name for this photography style originates from the French language. It means a woman’s private dressing room, which directly correlates to the intimacy of these photos. 

Typically, it focuses on flattering the curves and body of a client. Some say that boudoir’s aims are beauty, passion, and simplicity. The boudoir photos usually look playful, are provocative, and sometimes have implied nudity. 

Well, you get the gist. And that’s what kind of photo popped up on the iPad screen of the OP’s child. Apparently, it was from the mom’s iCloud, which was connected to the device. But the dad, as some might in this situation, didn’t worry about his child seeing his mom in the intimate setting. Or, at least, he didn’t talk about that in the post. 

What immediately crossed his mind was that the photo was taken 3 months ago but he hadn’t been aware of it up until then. So, he thought that maybe she was saving this photo for their upcoming anniversary. As our interviewee Kristina pointed out, it’s pretty common  for a person to get these photos taken as a gift for occasions like that: “Many of my clients mention that they have birthday or anniversary coming up and they are looking to [gift] their images to [their] significant other.” 

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Yet, the anniversary passed and the wife didn’t reveal the photo. So, now, the OP hopes that she might give it to him for his birthday, which is at the end of the year. But this hope doesn’t stop him from wondering why she even took the photos in the first place.

Generally, the reasons why people decide to have boudoir photoshoots vary. Kristina said that one of the most common reasons why clients choose these photoshoots is empowerment: “A lot of women do not realize how beautiful they are, and boudoir sessions are a great way to see yourself from the eyes of your photographer — who specializes in making women look beautiful. It is a little bit like a therapy session for a lot of women.”

Besides photos being a gift, people opt for these photoshoots to celebrate transformations such as weight loss or fitness achievements. Also, Kristina said, “There is a good amount of women that love doing boudoir to capture those photos for themselves as a pick me up after breakups or divorce. Anytime they need to feel beautiful.”

In the story, the husband is 99% sure the wife’s not cheating on him, yet her not giving him the photos might suggest she simply wants them for herself. 

Image credits: Harrison Haines (not the actual photo)

After all, they have two kids, which not only minimized the couple’s intimacy but also might have impacted the woman’s self-esteem. Pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period cause many changes in a person’s body. So, it’s normal when a woman struggles with adapting to life with a body that is now different from how it used to be. Maybe the OP’s wife simply wanted to feel desirable for herself again. Remember what Kristina said about it being kind of like therapy for women? 

Or maybe she’s really saving it for her husband’s birthday while he’s spiraling about whether he should ask her about it or not. So, he asked for advice on Reddit. 

People in the comments had various theories as to why the wife hasn’t shown him the photos yet. Some reiterated his idea that she might actually be saving these for his birthday. And the reason why she took them so far from that date is because she worried they might not come in time. As one of the commenters explained from their experience, sometimes, these photos take a very long time to come in. 

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Others repeated our idea about the woman wanting to feel beautiful for herself and not for anyone else’s gaze. Or they said that maybe the woman was simply building the courage to show them to her husband, as these photos tend to be very vulnerable.

For this reason, during the photoshoot, boudoir photographers strive to create as comfortable an environment for the client as possible. Our interviewee revealed several things she does during her shoots to ensure it. One of the most important things she does is communicating with them — what they want to wear and do, what poses they’re comfortable with, and similar things. She also puts on music that the clients love, encourages them with compliments and successful photos, and keeps up with the casual conversations: “This keeps my client feel taken care of and heard.”

Coming back to the story, the overall consensus of the commenters was that he should ask her about it. Ultimately, he didn’t snoop around for the photos — they popped up when the child was playing on the iPad. 

And that’s what the man’s planning to do. But he thinks he should wait until his birthday, as, this way, he maybe won’t need to have an uncomfortable conversation. Unless some other breadcrumbs of suspicious behavior arise until then.

Let’s just hope that they won’t. After all, we don’t want to be the ones wishing for someone’s divorce, do we? Maybe the photos are a gift for him, or, maybe, they were a gift to herself. Either way, both reasons are fair. It all comes down to how it will be communicated between them.

So, he asked for advice on Reddit, where people shared their theories, but the main conclusion was that he should simply ask her about it

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