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There always comes a time in a friendship or a newly built romantic relationship when you wish to get to know someone on a deeper level and take a step further than asking them their favorite color.
While time and experiences you two have gone through together do help reveal someone’s true colors, asking them personal questions is a straightforward way to do that. However, honesty is key here.
A recent study revealed that people who ask questions are better liked by their conversation partners. Thus, getting to know someone better by asking them hypothetical and deep personal questions strengthens the connection and builds trust.
After all, communication is the backbone of a healthy relationship. Taking communication to more intimate levels by asking your partner or a friend deep or thought-provoking questions may well take a surface-level relationship to a more meaningful one.
Often, intimate questions reveal the person’s true values and opinions in regard to the world and people around them. However, specific deep questions require the right time and place.
While the person may reveal their favorite color on the spot straight out of the movie theater, such timing may not be right to find out about their most significant accomplishments in life. Thus, before asking intimate questions to get to know someone, ensure that the circumstances work in your favor and that your chat buddy feels at ease.
Below, we’ve compiled a list of personal questions to ask a guy or a girl that will hopefully help you build stronger connections.
Do you have a set of personal questions to ask you keep in your back pocket and often utilize to get to know someone better? Do you know of any more deep questions to ask someone that works like a charm? Let us know!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Is there a memory you have that you hope you’ll never forget?
madamjoiedumort 2 years ago
When my mom destroyed my mammaw's wedding band that I'd inherited, just to use the diamonds in an ugly globular "pendant. It was neither tear drop nor round and I would have rather been physically punched.
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#3
What’s more important – stability or excitement?
#4
In a relationship, does a person’s past matter?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Depends. You really don't know someone and may never do. We all keep secrets.
#5
Do you have a hard time letting go of past relationships or do you move on quickly?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I move on quickly. Same day. But that doesn't mean I'm ready for another relationship. I prefer revelling in my singledom.
#6
What’s the first thing that attracts you to a person?
#8
What was the most hurtful thing that anyone has ever told you?
Headless Roach 2 years ago
I would never force someone to relive the moment by asking this question
#9
How would you describe your personality?
StrangeOne 2 years ago (edited)
This sounds more like an interview question. I would have to say... sarcastic, bubbly, reflective, optimistic, proactive, wishful, hopeful, depressive, independent, reclusive, curious. I'm a mixed bag, I guess. This is actually a loaded question.
#10
Do you think that a person’s past defines their future?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. People grow and mature, learning from mistakes and make changes in their lives. I judge on repetition of poor decisions.
#11
What do you think is the purpose of life?
#12
Where are you when you feel the most safe and comfortable?
#13
Do you think of yourself as more selfless or selfish?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Both. We all need to be both. Selfless isn't always a good thing and selfish isn't always a bad thing.
#15
Would you relocate to a place where you don’t have any family or friends?
#16
What is the most surprising fact you’ve learnt about yourself?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I may actually have a learning disorder that was never diagnosed and my social awkwardness is a lifelong manipulation trauma from my overly-insecure mom who's always thinking about what others think.
#17
What’s one secret that you can share with?
#18
If you would become a parent, what’s something that your parents used to do to you that you would never do to your own child?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Call her a b***h, ignore her when she's coming to me about bullying troubles, side with her bullies.
#19
If you could sit down and have a meal with someone – anyone whether dead or alive – who would it be and why?
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
Leigh bardugo. They're a huge inspiration for me and my writing
#21
What’s your biggest fear and why?
#22
Do you think that youth is an advantage, or are people of all ages capable of doing the same things?
#24
If you discovered today that you were adopted, what would your reaction be?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Not surprised. I look nothing like my mom. But I do sound like her. I'm wondering if that's learned, though.
#25
Is it always important to be honest? Or are there some instances when honesty is only a second priority?
#26
Is there any part of your life that you feel needs improvement? What is it and how do you think you can work to achieve that improvement?
lauralett50 2 years ago
My weight, I know diet and exercise. More veggies, less junk , low carbs.
#27
Are lasting relationships the result of a good match, or the result of hard work?
#28
What’s more important in a relationship – honesty or respect?
Marlene Wood 2 years ago
Respect is more important. If you have respect for yourself and others there would be no dishonesty. I believe, dishonesty comes from a lack of respect for yourself. They go hand in hand!!
#29
How do you know if you should keep holding on or if you should let go?
#30
What are your personal flaws that you think get in the way of your relationships?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I'm more insecure than I think I am, and my physical appearance. I'm not considered attractive here.
#31
What’s your biggest fear when it comes to love and relationships?
Cadi McElroy 2 years ago
That everything will be a lie. He never loved me and it was all just a joke
#32
When you’re in a relationship, do you feel more distracted or inspired?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Inspired. I've made more artwork based on our relationship than any art I've made.
#33
Do you think it’s easier to give love or to receive love?
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
It's easier to recieve, but it feels wonderful and natural to give
#34
What are the essential aspects of a relationship that every couple needs in order to claim a successful partnership?
Marlene Wood 2 years ago
Honesty and openness. If you are closed and guarded for fear of vulnerability your relationship will be shallow at best with very little emotional intimacy!!
#36
If you could have a do-over in one part of your life, what would it be?
#37
Do you like being able to communicate with others through social media?
OnAFreakingRollercoaster 2 years ago
Yes!!!!! Please message before making any other contact!!!
#38
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
#39
What’s something that you feel very passionately about?
#40
If you found out that you’re dying in a month’s time, what would you do with the time you had left?
#42
What do you think is the secret to happiness?
#43
Do you think that time does heal all wounds?
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
No, you need to work to heal them. But time helps, and it does take time
#44
What do you think is the worst feeling that anyone could possibly feel?
OnAFreakingRollercoaster 2 years ago (edited)
Depression. As in major depressive disorder. 0 out of 5 ⭐ do not recommend
#45
What have you learned from previous encounters with toxic people?
#46
When would you consider yourself to be truly successful or accomplished?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
When you're on your deathbed feeling so content that you have done everything there is to be done in your life, everything is taken care of and absolutely nothing else to do. You have seen it all, experienced it all, said it all, tasted it all, heard it all, felt it all.
#47
How do you like to receive love from others?
#48
What’s something that when done to you, makes you feel unloved or unappreciated?
#49
When you’re in an argument with your significant other, do you like to talk it out or do you prefer giving the cold shoulder?
lauralett50 2 years ago
He knows that if I stop talking , to leave me alone for awhile. Let me calm down.
#50
What’s your surefire method for getting over a past lover?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
"Everybody's gonna love today, love today, love today. Everybody's gonna love today, love today. I've been crying for so looooong. Fighting tears just to carry ooooooon But now, but now it’s gone away..."
#51
Is there anything that changes about your mood, disposition, or personality when you’re in a healthy, stable relationship?
#53
Do you think that people should have a lot in common with one another for their relationship to work out?
#54
Do you think that two people who have absolutely nothing in common could still successfully establish a romantic relationship?
#57
What’s the best way you can spend your time with your partner?
#62
Is a long-distance relationship something you think you could deal with, or do you feel most at ease when you and your partner can get together and spend time with one another physically?
Cadi McElroy 2 years ago
I don’t think I could do long distance just cause I like hugs too much.
#64
If you could go back and tell your childhood self something, what would it be?
#65
How do you want to be remembered by your friends and family?
#66
What is something irrational that you’ve wanted to do but never done?
#67
If I asked you for an honest opinion that might hurt me, would you tell me the truth?
#70
If you had one day left to live, how would you spend it?
#72
Are you afraid of dying?
#78
How do you feel about your relationships with your family?
#79
How do you make decisions?
#82
What do you believe is most important for happiness in life?
#84
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve ever learned in life?
#89
What’s a life lesson that you think would make the world a better place if everyone learned it?
lauralett50 2 years ago
To be kind, not hoard what you don't need . To treat each other as humans no matter who they are , where they are from
#90
What’s something that someone might do to you that you could never forgive?
#92
If you could take a single photograph to represent your whole life, what would it be a picture of and why?
#93
Do you believe in the saying “forgive and forget?”
lauralett50 2 years ago
Forgive them but, never forget, otherwise they will try to do it again.
#94
Was there ever a time when you felt excited to go somewhere, only to have the plans canceled?
#95
If someone significant to you – like a parent or sibling – were too toxic to be around, what would you do and how would you deal with it?
#96
Was there ever a time when you felt you were giving as much love as you could muster, but it was unappreciated or it went unnoticed?
#98
How do you define the ideal relationship?
lauralett50 2 years ago
When you get to the point that you don't have to work on the relationship so hard.
#99
What are your three ingredients to a happy lasting relationship?
#101
Do you think it’s reasonable for a couple to go on a break if they’re not seeing eye to eye?
#104
Do you believe that we ever truly stop loving people once they leave our lives, or do we continue to love them in more subtle ways?
#105
How would you define a successful relationship?
#106
If your partner ended up telling you something that really hurt your feelings, would you tell them that you were hurt or would you clam up and wait for them to figure it out?
#107
Do you consider yourself a high-maintenance partner?
#109
Would you let your partner help you through a challenge at work, or do you prefer working through similar problems alone?
#110
If your partner apologizes for a mistake once, but ends up doing it again, are those grounds for a break up?
#112
Do you think that differing spiritual or religious beliefs and practices can get in the way of a healthy relationship?
#113
Do you see yourself as someone who could possibly be in a relationship with the same person for the rest of your life?
#114
If your partner ends up doing something that upsets you, what’s one thing they can do to apologize that will always work on?
#115
Is there a past lover that you might have caused hurt or pain? What would you say to them now if you were face to face with them?
#117
Do you have a favorite sibling?
#118
Are you still holding a grudge against someone?
#120
Who is the most important person in your life?
#127
How can our government improve the quality of life for people in the lowest socioeconomic classes?
#129
If you could have a million dollars fall into your lap right now, but you can’t spend any of it on yourself, how would you spend the money?
#130
If someone told you that you would lose all of your earthly possessions tomorrow and you wouldn’t have anywhere to live, what would you do?
#134
If you could dive into a pool of anything right now, what would it be a pool of?
#136
If you would come face to face with someone who hurt you in the past, what would you tell them?
#137
If you had to live in a remote location for 5 months and you’re only allowed to bring three things from your bedroom, what would they be and why?
#141
Do you think that couples should pool their money and manage it together, or do you think it’s more important for each of them to have their own funds?
#145
In a relationship, are you the first one to apologize, or do you wait for your partner to come up to you first?
#146
What are some things you like to do to encourage your partner to be the best version of themselves?
#163
What’s one thing that you think you’re really good at that other people might typically have trouble with?
#166
Do you think that two people should start living together before marriage?
