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Man Furious At Childfree Coworker For Ruining His Paternity Leave, Gets A Reality Check
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Man Furious At Childfree Coworker For Ruining His Paternity Leave, Gets A Reality Check

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For one reason or another, employees tend to find themselves on the brink of quitting – a decision that is personal and usually based on their own well-being.

However, some people believe that others should base their decision to (not) quit according to what’s best for them. Take this redditor’s co-worker, for instance: when he—a soon-to-be dad—learned that the OP was quitting, he was mad that it would interfere with his paternity leave; and he made sure to let her know. But the OP said that none of that was her problem.

RELATED:

    Sooner or later, many people find themselves on the brink of quitting their job

    Image credits:  Rob Lambert / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    This woman decided to quit her job, but her soon-to-be-dad co-worker didn’t take it well

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    Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: MotherSlice

    “Career decisions should prioritize personal goals and well-being over the potential impact on colleagues,” expert says

    People might want to change jobs for many reasons, but their reasons shouldn’t be focused on the well-being of others; their co-workers, for instance. ”Career decisions should prioritize personal goals and well-being over the potential impact on colleagues,” Dr. Jon Gruda, an expert in organizational behavior, told Bored Panda in a recent interview.

    “Staying in a role out of guilt only shifts attention away from organizational shortcomings, such as inadequate paternity leave policies. While transparent communication is important, individuals must prioritize their long-term growth and satisfaction,” he said.

    Discussing shortcomings regarding paternity leave, the expert suggested that paternity leave should be a universal right, but many companies fail to provide it, often because legislation doesn’t require them to. “Without formal policies, employees are forced to rely on informal arrangements which can strain team dynamics. These tensions highlight the need for formal policies that support employees during major life transitions.”

    It’s not uncommon for employees with and without children to face different expectations

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    Image credits:  Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The OP shared that the company she was about to leave doesn’t offer paternity leave. That meant her parent-to-be co-worker was forced to rely on informal arrangements or use his PTO after the baby was born. It’s safe to assume that that is more difficult to do when the team shrinks from four to three; hence his reaction to the OP quitting. But the woman didn’t think her co-worker’s situation was her problem and expressed disdain for parents who believe that the world should revolve around them.

    While it’s not always the case, employees with children are often viewed or treated differently than child-free individuals. For instance, they might not be asked to work overtime, as “they have to go home and be with the family,” or even receive special treatment, often because of assumptions about one’s availability linked to their family status.

    “Employees with children often face different expectations than those without, with the latter frequently taking on more overtime or inconvenient shifts. Such biases reflect outdated norms and create workplace inequities. Fair policies should recognize all employees’ personal commitments and distribute workloads without assumptions about availability,” Dr. Gruda noted.

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    On average, people reportedly change their jobs every two years and nine months

    Whether their co-workers like it or not, people in companies will come and go, as the days of sticking with the same company for decades seem to be behind us. According to a survey carried out by Career Sidekick, on average, people change their jobs every 2.73 years – approximately every two years and nine months.

    The survey found that roughly four in ten employed individuals say their goodbyes every one to two years, nearly a third change jobs every four years or more, and just over a fifth do that every three years. According to the aforementioned survey, though, roughly 4% of employees change their jobs once a year. But there are people who dive head first into change even more often than once a year – the Pew Research Center suggests that (as of 2019-2022) roughly 2-3% of employees (in the US), change employers every month.

    The Pew Research Center found that 2022 was arguably one of the best times for people to change jobs, especially if they were looking for a raise. Data reveals that during the period between April 2021 and March 2022, roughly 60% of workers switching jobs “saw an increase in their real earnings over the same month the previous year,” reportedly, despite a surge in the rate of inflation. Out of those who stayed with their employer, only 47% experienced an increase in real earnings.

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    Seeing that there’s no promotion or increase in salary on the horizon, the OP, too, decided to change jobs and opted for a place offering higher pay. She didn’t let her co-worker’s animosity change her mind, and fellow netizens in the comments assured her that she shouldn’t. They suggested it was the employer’s problem and congratulated her on moving on to a hopefully better one.

    The woman provided more details in the comments

    Fellow netizens shared their thoughts and congratulated the woman on her new job

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    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

    Read less »

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Coworker is AH for taking out his frustrations with working conditions on OP. I assume this is in the US based on syntax, so labor protections are only going to get worse. Join or form a union as soon as you can, it'll probably be illegal soon. But don't blame coworkers for your company's bad policy and your states poor legislation. Go advocate for better treatment.

    G Bono
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the first time someone has justifiably said the other is selfish and it's true. OP has zero obligation to stay at this job. Personally, I would tell him how much more the other job pays, and if he's enough of an AH, I might say something about their generous paid maternity leave. That should shut him up

    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a district manager who was so pissed when I took a better job (a much higher paying job outside of retail with an office and desk where I did not have to do customer service). He pointed out all of the training they just gave me in a promotion which I took when I had no insight of another job in the near future. I said, "I'm sorry about the frustration but did you really expect me to turn this other opportunity down?" He didn't respond. It's never about YOU. It's about what they feel you're costing THEM.

    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    „The greatest country in the world“ is actually a pretty s****y place for workers and employees

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they're as desperate to keep employees as OP implies then now is the time to negotiate what he needs for paternity leave. Best time would have been when he was considering the job offer, but this is next best. He should be looking at this as an opportunity for him.

    Pyla
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't fix stupid, but trust, they sure can breed.

    HardBoiledBlonde
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is the employer's responsibility not the employee's. The father to be's anger is misdirected. The female employee must cease being the target of his anger and abuse.

    Kari Panda
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So much hate for parents when the real problem is lacking laws to protect employees.

    Aline
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People only hate parents when they try to make their kids someone else's responsibility or garner sympathy because of their own choices. If the coworker is upset about working conditions, go after the company, change jobs, join a union and fight for better conditions. Don't go after your coworkers. It's two different fights but both the coworker and the employer are AHs

    Load More Replies...
    Max Fox
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The coworker in a a$$hole for their expectation, but the OP is also a bit of an a$$hole for "Parents, man" comment.

    UncleJohn3000
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let him be mad, but understand his perspective. He worked hard to get a job, finally!, and you just criticized that job by quitting for something better.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Coworker is AH for taking out his frustrations with working conditions on OP. I assume this is in the US based on syntax, so labor protections are only going to get worse. Join or form a union as soon as you can, it'll probably be illegal soon. But don't blame coworkers for your company's bad policy and your states poor legislation. Go advocate for better treatment.

    G Bono
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the first time someone has justifiably said the other is selfish and it's true. OP has zero obligation to stay at this job. Personally, I would tell him how much more the other job pays, and if he's enough of an AH, I might say something about their generous paid maternity leave. That should shut him up

    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a district manager who was so pissed when I took a better job (a much higher paying job outside of retail with an office and desk where I did not have to do customer service). He pointed out all of the training they just gave me in a promotion which I took when I had no insight of another job in the near future. I said, "I'm sorry about the frustration but did you really expect me to turn this other opportunity down?" He didn't respond. It's never about YOU. It's about what they feel you're costing THEM.

    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    „The greatest country in the world“ is actually a pretty s****y place for workers and employees

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they're as desperate to keep employees as OP implies then now is the time to negotiate what he needs for paternity leave. Best time would have been when he was considering the job offer, but this is next best. He should be looking at this as an opportunity for him.

    Pyla
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't fix stupid, but trust, they sure can breed.

    HardBoiledBlonde
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is the employer's responsibility not the employee's. The father to be's anger is misdirected. The female employee must cease being the target of his anger and abuse.

    Kari Panda
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So much hate for parents when the real problem is lacking laws to protect employees.

    Aline
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People only hate parents when they try to make their kids someone else's responsibility or garner sympathy because of their own choices. If the coworker is upset about working conditions, go after the company, change jobs, join a union and fight for better conditions. Don't go after your coworkers. It's two different fights but both the coworker and the employer are AHs

    Load More Replies...
    Max Fox
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The coworker in a a$$hole for their expectation, but the OP is also a bit of an a$$hole for "Parents, man" comment.

    UncleJohn3000
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let him be mad, but understand his perspective. He worked hard to get a job, finally!, and you just criticized that job by quitting for something better.

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