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Man Doesn’t Want To Pay This Babysitter, So She Shares Their Private Conversation In A Shaming Group
Which professions or services do you think attract the most entitled jerks? If you look for answers on r/ChoosingBeggars, the subreddit for shaming people who make unreasonable demands, you might notice that devaluing art and childcare are both recurring themes. Well, this guy managed to be a complete jerk about both simultaneously when he asked his wife’s friend, who apparently had already helped the couple by watching their kids, to paint a free Christmas portrait (for “exposure”, naturally.) Let’s look over the conversation and see how he ticks every box of choosing beggar bingo by not only trying to take advantage of her for free art, but holding payment over her head for babysitting.
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The artist posted this conversation on r/ChoosingBeggars
So, first of all, we have the classic attitude that the cost of art is nothing more than the cost of the materials (not that he understands how that works, either… if you already bought it and it’s in your house, that means it’s free, right?) Actually sitting down and making art, in these people’s view, takes nothing more than the goodness of one’s heart, which they expect the artist to have plenty of even after having to listen to their excuses. Artists have to develop their own ways of dealing with people who think they can get free art, like this guy who sent people who wanted free portraits hilariously sloppy scribbles.
Not to mention the cherry on the human trash cake, his oh-so-generous offer to maybe even pay her for babysitting four kids if she does the additional work of painting a full family portrait. Sorry, but taking care of kids that aren’t yours is work, no matter how “easy” they are or whether the person taking care of them knows you. And we’re not sure why these choosing beggars are always justifying why they can’t pay for something by bragging about how much money they already blew on something totally frivolous… get your priorities straight, people.
Commenters agree that this guy is a serious A-hole
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Iggy 6 years ago
Time to say goodbye to those people. Your friend is not a good friend. She is standing by while her husband takes the p**s. You are better off with no friends than friends like that.
Elizabeth 6 years ago
The wife may not know or expect this from her husband. Though the friendship is definitely going to suffer for this.
Load More Replies...
Yakisha Henneborn 6 years ago
I had a friend (we are no longer friends by the way) who wanted a necklace I made for free so she could show it off at a party. She said it was good exposure and a lot of her clients would most likely ask her where she got it from and so forth. Well, three days later I found out she was in need of money and sold the necklace I made for $300. My husband told me to take her to small claims court but I knew it wasn't going to go my way because I did gift it to her. What I did do was put her on full blast at a dinner party and ended our friendship. This might seem petty but I worked hard on the necklace and for her to do something like that really hurted me. I am not as trusting as I use to be either.
Corina Alvarez Loeblich 6 years ago
my Dad use to say that if Cosmic Balance wasn't working properly, you should give it a push. The way you end things with that "friend" really doesn't matter. What matters is that she abused of your trust, and you were hurt BUT you won't get hurt anymore. Good for you. You deserve better friends
Load More Replies...
I love Foxxy 6 years ago (edited)
$5000 for Christmas gifts yet he can’t afford to pay for the artists work. I am more shocked at the $5000 than the whole scenario to be honest. That is just insane.
Rosie Hamilton 6 years ago
Totally agree Foxxy - spending that amount of money on presents (if true) is staggering. People go nuts over Christmas and get into debt for presents. Spend more on birthdays if you want to get children expensive presents.
Load More Replies...
Mary Padgett 6 years ago
I would print the screenshots and write her a short note that while you value her friendship and would have stepped in to do her a favor in a real emergency, that her husband thinking free babysitting for a week is a privledge and stopping everything you are doing and spending additional time and money to create a gift that HE can give is an honor is messed up. He tried to berate and bully you into handling his life for him. Regardless of the example, he's toxic and he is tinting every interaction you have with her to the point I wouldn't trust her judgement or reactions either. I honestly would consider him a selfish abusive person and I'd explain that you don't feel comfortable interacting with him anymore and apologize if that impacts your friendship with her.
BlueBeardie 6 years ago
No need to even engage sociopaths. Just ignore them completely. Time to put that bag down and walk away. Forget you ever met them and spent zero time even thinking about them. done means...done. move on and smile.
Donna Leske 6 years ago
OP (artist / babysitter) your friend is "mad at you" before hearing your side of it? And shares stressful details of your life with her husband? This is not a friend, dump her NOW. Yeah "she's a good listener". Who knows how many people she's anticipating sharing your private life with? You're fodder for her fun. And, she already knows her husband is an a*****e, she likes it.
Naomi Armitage 6 years ago
I need follow-up. I need to know if OP showed her friend this guy's whole convo, about wanting OP to paint a full family portrait AND watch their kids for free. Wondering what OP's friend would think about that?
Elizabeth 6 years ago
Wow! Just wow. This is his wifes best friend! That is going to make things so extremely awkward. I would be livid if I found out my husband was asking this of anyone let alone my broke best friend. It was totally reasonable for her to ask for him to at least pay for the cost of her supplies.
Corina Alvarez Loeblich 6 years ago
exactly. I see a private chat like that from the hubby's with my best friend (assuming my friend send it to me, because in 11 years we've NEVER touch each other cellphones and yet, we all conspire in private because of surprise presents, meetings and the like), and I'll rip his head off out of pure embarrassment. Difference is, he's a decent human being and will kill himself before manipulating anyone like THAT. That couple is just horrible!
Load More Replies...
Vicky Zar 6 years ago
How is it the artists/ babysitters fault if they coulnd'nt find a babysitter? If he wouldn't have been such a jerk, he would have one. It would have served him right if he lost his job over it.
Vicky Zar 6 years ago
The wife isn't better than the husband. I wold have skinned mine alive if he did something like that to a friend of mine
Load More Replies... Iggy 6 years ago
Time to say goodbye to those people. Your friend is not a good friend. She is standing by while her husband takes the p**s. You are better off with no friends than friends like that.
Elizabeth 6 years ago
The wife may not know or expect this from her husband. Though the friendship is definitely going to suffer for this.
Load More Replies... Yakisha Henneborn 6 years ago
I had a friend (we are no longer friends by the way) who wanted a necklace I made for free so she could show it off at a party. She said it was good exposure and a lot of her clients would most likely ask her where she got it from and so forth. Well, three days later I found out she was in need of money and sold the necklace I made for $300. My husband told me to take her to small claims court but I knew it wasn't going to go my way because I did gift it to her. What I did do was put her on full blast at a dinner party and ended our friendship. This might seem petty but I worked hard on the necklace and for her to do something like that really hurted me. I am not as trusting as I use to be either.
Corina Alvarez Loeblich 6 years ago
my Dad use to say that if Cosmic Balance wasn't working properly, you should give it a push. The way you end things with that "friend" really doesn't matter. What matters is that she abused of your trust, and you were hurt BUT you won't get hurt anymore. Good for you. You deserve better friends
Load More Replies... I love Foxxy 6 years ago (edited)
$5000 for Christmas gifts yet he can’t afford to pay for the artists work. I am more shocked at the $5000 than the whole scenario to be honest. That is just insane.
Rosie Hamilton 6 years ago
Totally agree Foxxy - spending that amount of money on presents (if true) is staggering. People go nuts over Christmas and get into debt for presents. Spend more on birthdays if you want to get children expensive presents.
Load More Replies... Mary Padgett 6 years ago
I would print the screenshots and write her a short note that while you value her friendship and would have stepped in to do her a favor in a real emergency, that her husband thinking free babysitting for a week is a privledge and stopping everything you are doing and spending additional time and money to create a gift that HE can give is an honor is messed up. He tried to berate and bully you into handling his life for him. Regardless of the example, he's toxic and he is tinting every interaction you have with her to the point I wouldn't trust her judgement or reactions either. I honestly would consider him a selfish abusive person and I'd explain that you don't feel comfortable interacting with him anymore and apologize if that impacts your friendship with her.
BlueBeardie 6 years ago
No need to even engage sociopaths. Just ignore them completely. Time to put that bag down and walk away. Forget you ever met them and spent zero time even thinking about them. done means...done. move on and smile.
Donna Leske 6 years ago
OP (artist / babysitter) your friend is "mad at you" before hearing your side of it? And shares stressful details of your life with her husband? This is not a friend, dump her NOW. Yeah "she's a good listener". Who knows how many people she's anticipating sharing your private life with? You're fodder for her fun. And, she already knows her husband is an a*****e, she likes it.
Naomi Armitage 6 years ago
I need follow-up. I need to know if OP showed her friend this guy's whole convo, about wanting OP to paint a full family portrait AND watch their kids for free. Wondering what OP's friend would think about that?
Elizabeth 6 years ago
Wow! Just wow. This is his wifes best friend! That is going to make things so extremely awkward. I would be livid if I found out my husband was asking this of anyone let alone my broke best friend. It was totally reasonable for her to ask for him to at least pay for the cost of her supplies.
Corina Alvarez Loeblich 6 years ago
exactly. I see a private chat like that from the hubby's with my best friend (assuming my friend send it to me, because in 11 years we've NEVER touch each other cellphones and yet, we all conspire in private because of surprise presents, meetings and the like), and I'll rip his head off out of pure embarrassment. Difference is, he's a decent human being and will kill himself before manipulating anyone like THAT. That couple is just horrible!
Load More Replies... Vicky Zar 6 years ago
How is it the artists/ babysitters fault if they coulnd'nt find a babysitter? If he wouldn't have been such a jerk, he would have one. It would have served him right if he lost his job over it.
Vicky Zar 6 years ago
The wife isn't better than the husband. I wold have skinned mine alive if he did something like that to a friend of mine
Load More Replies...
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