People are social creatures. Sneaky social creatures. According to Dr. Michael Slepian, who is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia University, the average person keeps around 13 secrets at any given time.
However, keeping stuff from others can be harmful in the long run, both physically and psychologically. (Although it's worth pointing out that Slepian discovered it's not the withholding that hurts us; instead, it's the ruminating.)
So when a Reddit user asked everyone on the platform to share that one thing they wanted to get off their chest, many revealed their heaviest burdens. Continue scrolling to discover the most common secrets people keep, and hopefully, these anonymous confessions will reassure you that it's OK if you're not an open book. (Virtually) nobody else is.
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Here's a happy one folks: I love her. It's too early to tell her but we have both been dancing around the phrase and we both know that's what it is. We can't go a day without meeting or calling and at any given moment I would rather be cuddling with her. As a guy who struggled dating for the longest time, it got better.
Although I am highly involved, positive at work and have only changed positions 5 times in a nearly 35 year career, they are not my family and I would walk out for a higher paycheck in a split second.
I broke my parents up 20ish years ago and to this day mom thinks dad hired a PI
Nope, it was actually just a wildly coincidental situation. I had in my possession, dad's new video camera one night when I went with my boyfriend to pick up his drunk brother from the bar and out walks my mom out of the same bar while we waited and played with camera and she WALKED IN THE FRAME SWAPPING SPIT WITH A DUDE I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE!
She was a drunk with newer [addiction] habit plus dad had recently told me before this that he thought she was cheating on him and so s**t at my home was insanely bad. I got my chance to get her out of my life...
And I f*****g took it.
Afghanistan, 1994. A better man than me, gave his life to Save mine. 30 years later, I still deal with the guilt, and feeling like I haven't lived up to his sacrifice.
I gave my baby nephew a noisy toy because I was having a petty fight with my sister.
I accidentally wore my wife’s mom jeans to work today and none of my coworkers have noticed. Personally, the high waist has my a*s looking awesome.
I'm a middle-aged father that works hard and keeps my family together. We don't miss meals or rent, barely. But, when I leave in the morning and I'm alone on the drive I cry and scream and wail at the stress. I'm scared. We're one bad thing away from doom. But, I make it my mission to project confidence and safety to my family. They're oblivious. I'm okay by the time I get home every night. I cook and help out and spend time with them.
When my mom dies I will need to check myself into a mental institution because she is the thing keeping me here. And I’m afraid that will be the thing that tips me over the edge.
Just so people know, I’m ok. My mom is my best friend and I’m terrified of life without her.
Get a furbaby. Now. So it can know your Mom too and you all can grieve together when the time comes.
My work day is like 35% looking at Reddit these days. Just got commended for my great work with a promotion so I don't see a reason to change things up!
One time I brought soda to a potluck-type party. On the way to the party, the bag ripped and the two soda bottles fell and rolled all the way down the hill with me (despite being athletic at the time) cursing and chasing them.
I got to the party and just... set the soda down on the table, and walked off to a different corner to socialize. Didn't say anything. That's someone else's problem now.
Some time later, there was a massive hissing explosion, and the girl who had opened the sprite I brought was standing there, in a white shirt that had become completely see through, looking shell shocked and very wet.
Sorry Christy.
When I was in 5th grade maybe (10-11yrs old). I wanted to go home really bad so I decided I would pretend to pass out. Went to the bathroom during lunchtime, peed, washed my hands, then laid down in the floor to and closed my eyes waiting for someone to find me. It was AN HOUR and a half, (after lunchtime and recess) before the janitor found me when he came to clean.
My mom was called, i pretended to not know how I passed out. But because i had been laying face down, there was a red spot on my forehead, so they assumed i tripped and hit my head or something. but it worked! I got to go home, didnt have to deal with a school bully, and my parents let me sleep and play games all day.
FAST FORWARD! I did it again several months later, but this time out on a nature walk our class was on (bc I was a lazy kid who wanted to be inside) but I wanted it to be super believable since there would be others around. So this time I tripped and fell (actually landed on a tiny rock so did scrape my face) and started twitching my legs like I thought it was supposed to look having a seizure. The other kids panicked and yelled for a teacher and this time they did call 911 and my mom. My mom actually beat the ambulance to me.
So i end up in the hospital, where I continue to pretend something is wrong bc I want to be out for like a few days so i could just be home like last time. (I hated school y’all! Was well behaved and got straight a’s and b’s but had a TERRIBLE time making friends bc I was super shy; like not talk unless spoken to kind) anyway, to keep up the charade, i changed from my legs twitching to my left wrist (easier to maintain) and just kept doing it every now and again for a solid five hours. At one point my mom asked me if I was doing it, and I said “no why would i fake that?” And she said okay just checking.
Anyway, after 6 years of test after test, and multiple doctors visits trying to figure out what was wrong (I am 15-16 at this point, I was wayyy too deep to ever admit anything, with all the money I’m sure I costed us with all the running and tests…BASED ON A LIE IN FIFTH GRADE) medical teams actually concluded I had seizure disorder. I was flabbergasted, since my a*s was just faking but like now i might actually have to take meds? Turns out, as I approached puberty, these fake seizures i had to get out of school actually was a developing REAL seizure disorder called Catamenial seizures. These are a type of seizure disorders directly linked to your menstruation cycle, and because of it, I had SEVERE heavy bleeding all through my periods for up to a month at a time. HIGHLY IRREGULAR. Mine were so severe in fact, I had to stop having them all together and be regulated with an IUD. Also I was told after an exam from a gynecologist that with this disorder, that if I ever wanted a child, that it would be hell, that there was more than a 60% chance that either I, my baby, or both would die during childbirth.
TLDR; I faked having passing out/ having seizures to get out of school, but then it turns out I actually have a seizure disorder and am infertile because of it.
My intrusive thoughts are not cute. I don’t impulsively get bangs and say “the intrusive thoughts won!” Mine are about falling down the stairs and my baby’s skull getting crushed. Working on a project and a drill going through my eye. A family member sexually assaulting me. It sucks to have these horrible thoughts all the time, almost like they invade my brain so fast I can’t stop them. All I can do is acknowledge them and try to move on.
That's what the average intrusive thought is: something horrible you'd never do, but the mere thought makes you scared that you'd actually do it. Mine are typically about pushing old people in front of an oncoming train or stuff equally horrible. The fact that I don't want to think that make the thoughts pop into my head even quicker.
I don’t remember all the details, but In college, I was trying to find street parking before class. Ended up getting a spot ironically next to my roommates car. Somehow while maneuvering into the spot I bumped into his car, and dented the side little bit. Whenever something like this has happened, I always leave a note or take responsibility somehow. However, something about it being one of my best friend’s cars made it so embarrassing that I couldn’t do it. I went on to class.
After class I walked back to our cars with him, and saw him notice the ding, and of course express his frustration.
I still couldn’t bring myself to tell him, so instead over the next few months, without his knowledge, I reduced his portion of utility bills until it equated the cost to repair the damage
25 years later this is the first I’ve told anyone.
At least, you were honest enough to pay him back secretly. Many people in this situation would have done nothing.
I can't wait until I'm dead. Thinking about no longer existing just gives me this feeling of relief. The idea of an afterlife terrifies me more than anything because it means there is no escape from existing.
I'm in my 30s now and hoping my life is almost half over by now. Objectively, my life is good, I guess, I'm just a miserable person or something.
I feel the exact same way. I’m in my 40s and I hope I have less than 10 years left. I had cancer and went through treatment but now I wish I never did
In my first job, I did what I always do. Start up the machine. While it warms up, I would wipe down the surface. Just something to do for about four minutes before starting. Just like that, a corner of my cloth was ripped out of my hand and pulled into the workings of the machine. Lots of loud and expensive noises later. I hurriedly switched it off, removed the shreds of rag and put the covers on again. Go to loo for a bit and then arrive back. Open cover and call supervisor over to say, “look at this” . I was not found out.
I'm so tired of always being the "bigger" and kinder person.
Being selfish seems so appealing but whenever I've tried it I feel so guilty afterwards that I go back to being the 'bigger' person.
I feel emotions and I am kind, empathetic etc
But deep down inside I couldn't care less
I'm as empathetic as I am detached from people
Its like every emotion or empathy is conditional
I feel sad because I understand its the right moment to feel sad
Or I love my woman but in a split second I could move on without a problem
I feel like a functional psychopath who doesn't know it.
Every couple of months i get the urge to just up and leave everything, move to a state where i know nobody, and start over; it’s probably a good thing i care about my credit and finances otherwise i’d have done it by now, bills and credit keep me at my stable job.
I don't wanna die. I just wish I never existed in the first place. But I'm at a point in my life where I know me being here has positively impacted someone really close to me, and they've told me the state they'd be in if I wasn't here with them. So that keeps the demons at bay for now
Edit: To the person that sent a reddit cares, thank you. I'm okay right now. Some days it gets really bad but I'm still kicking all the same.
It's a shame that so many do want to, and so many are worried about it happening. Organic life really wasn't a good idea.
I absolutely hate the way my life turned out. On the outside it looks great to most people. If that’s what they want, great. It turned out this way by not being selfish and doing the “right thing” all the time which is actually just one sacrifice after the next, year after year. I’m supposed to feel good about doing good for others but that leaves me with nothing for myself that I enjoy. Probably not much of a secret as I get older however I tried my best to keep it to myself.
I have had, for almost two decades, the most profound connection with and deepest attraction to my friend’s wife. The first time I saw her from a block away, there was a literal jolt of electricity thru my spine and I stopped walking momentarily. She stopped, too. Once, when her husband was out of town, we met for beers and stared into each other’s eyes occasionally, ceasing to talk, searching, like two detectives trying to solve the case of each other. We’ve never talked about this connection and we’d never ever dare act on it. She has been in my dreams consistently. I’m not a delusional sort or given to flights of fancy, but something about this has been and continues to be Weird in a way so inexplicable and powerful that after turning over every rational explanation, it’s the most compelling argument for something irrational, like parallel worlds, which of course sounds crazy. It will haunt me to my grave and now it's off my chest.
I’ve been overweight, I’ve had anorexia, and I’ve hit my “body goals” but have still always hated my body no matter what. I’ve currently got a “mom bod” (stretch marks, mom pouch) and although I have a husband that has loved me and been obsessed with my body at every size and shape, I’m about to hit my 30s and I’m terrified I will never learn to love my body, it’s exhausting.
I wish I didn’t do the whole “save your virginity for marriage” thing. I don’t plan to cheat and we have been together almost 30 years. I wish had had some more fun experiences as a college student and didn’t go to a Christian college. Basically I wish I rebelled a bit when it was “normal” and “safe” to do so. Nothing extreme, but had a bit of fun before becoming an old marriage boring person at 19.
Reminds me of the Benny Hill sketch: wife slaps husband. "What's that for?" "Being a bad lover." After a pause, husband slaps wife. "What's that for?" "That's for knowing the difference!"
I am not religious in any way at all but I kinda secretly hope there's an afterlife. I hope that I won't just...be gone. It's so incomprehensible to think that you just won't exist. I want to see my friends and family and pets I've missed of course too. But idk. I hope that when I die (however it is) that it's not just nothing. But I guess if it is nothing then I won't know, so either way eh. Death is weird.
The best way to understand that "nothingness" is this: How much do you remember the thousands of years (millions) before you were born? We're you bored? Scared? Impatient? No. You were nothing. You WEREN'T.
I think that's what OP is scared of. Just not being.
Load More Replies...I just found out that Christians believe that animals cannot go to heaven because they do not have a soul. If there are no dogs in heaven, why would I want to go there after I die?
Not all of us believe that.
Load More Replies...I think the idea is fantastic. Nothingness. Space. No thing. Not looking forward to it per se and not scared, but the idea is amazing to me
Me too, usually about time to go to sleep. I have to have the TV on to distract me, but it can't be too interesting or I won't go to sleep.
Load More Replies...Heaven is where Christians go. Which is ironic because that very fact makes it sound like hell to me.
I'm sorry you feel that way. Its not the way it should be.
Load More Replies...I believe in reincarnation, but this still scares the c**p out of me so much i get anxiety.
Apart from what Pablo Ramos wrote, also the imagination only plays with the nice things. But all the horrible people / situations will also be part of that "afterlife". No, I'd rather be gone for good.
I have never understood the need for some people to continue on in another existence. We simply are not that important. Live a good life, then exit. We have had our time.
I never understood why "there has to be more"? You love, you die. That's it! Like for all living creatures. We are nothing special.
Love to se my dogs, and friends. Not so much family. Maybe my father.
We come from the universe, earth, and we return to the earth when we die and feed the earth. This is all, it is enough and it is beautiful and glorious in the end.
As a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints we believe that You existed before you came here and will exist forever after, and that everyone will essentially go to a heaven that's wonderfully comfortable for them and far more beautiful and happy than this temporary existence now. People are so different so there's multiple heavens. Animals like people have spirits and will also love forever in eternal felicity.
"I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm bringing a change of socks." - Woody Allen
I just want to meet this God being and ask it how it could f**k this up this bad. This handiwork of it's is downright cruel and evil.
My sister admitted to me alone that she cheated on her husband. Husband found out and [took his own life] with d***s/booze and my sister ended up getting the large life insurance payout because he didn't change the policy. Family of the husband was livid as they suspected something. My sister and family justified it because he was a bad guy and didn't treat my sister right - no abuse they just didn't like him.
As a male I will never trust my family again.
Probably 10 years ago or so I went to England for work. Stayed at a hotel off in the countryside.
As I’m getting ready for bed I noticed a sign in the bathroom warning that you needed to keep the bathroom door closed until all steam from your shower dissipated or the fire alarm would go off.
So, 6 am UK time 2 am us time (or whatever) I take my shower. No contacts in yet. All done. Gotta get dressed! Open the door and a minute later the alarm goes off. Get dressed and everyone is heading outside.
I meet up with my supervisor. He sheepishly admits it’s his fault we’re all outside. See he had just started running the hot water tap to shave with the door open. It had just started getting hot when the alarm went off.
I let him retire thinking it was his fault.
It was the fault of the ridiculous fire alarm system - how is water vapour triggering the fire alarm?
On the outside I look fine (good grades, sociable, etc) but I actually feel like s**t. I have no desire to do anything, I don't have any dreams, and I don't even like my planned choice of career. I just drift through the day, rarely doing anything of importance. I'm stuck about to go in the workforce knowing damn well I'm not gonna enjoy it. I just wanna find something I like and be good at it.
I tell everyone, including my spouse that I don’t want children because she doesn’t, but in reality I really want to have kids in our future. She would make an excellent mom, and we have the means to raise kids. But she’s adamantly against having any. So I tell everyone I don’t want kids to keep her and keep the peace per se… I know it’s dumb and I shouldn’t settle, but I love her in every other way and I know I’d never find someone else like that again.
Nobody came in the backyard and stole my bike. I threw my bike in the big garbage bin in the middle of the night.
My daughter is dealing with mental health issues, including cutting, and attempting to commit suicide and everyone says I'm doing really well supporting her. In reality, my day and night is spent fearing that I will wake up with her having removed herself from life while I slept. I haven't slept deeply or longer than 3 hours at a time, in over a year. I question what I might have done to cause her wish to not be in this world, even though she's never been abused or hurt, and raised with open communication and love. I don't know what I would do if she went before me.
I guess folks don't think of being found out after posting confessions. I don't mean the ones like 'I want kids but my wife doesn't so I won't tell her', or other interpersonal things. I'm talking about the folks that crossed legal lines. It isn't really hard to find out who someone is on social media if they dig hard enough and these folks just blabbing on themselves, crazy.
my son was born with a disability that shortens the life span of most who have it. while he might be the lucky few who go on to live a full long life, the odds are not in his favor. ive cried and cried about the fact that i might have to watch my son get sick and pass away. every year seems like a countdown and i wish i didnt know. i want to be happy while he's still with us. ive had nightmares about seeing his face in a coffin and it makes me wish i had done myself in a long time ago and never had kids. he didn't ask to be born and i feel like its my fault even though there was no way for us to know this would happen. sometimes the guilt is so bad i want to hurt myself but i cant because my son and daughters need me.
My daughter is dealing with mental health issues, including cutting, and attempting to commit suicide and everyone says I'm doing really well supporting her. In reality, my day and night is spent fearing that I will wake up with her having removed herself from life while I slept. I haven't slept deeply or longer than 3 hours at a time, in over a year. I question what I might have done to cause her wish to not be in this world, even though she's never been abused or hurt, and raised with open communication and love. I don't know what I would do if she went before me.
I guess folks don't think of being found out after posting confessions. I don't mean the ones like 'I want kids but my wife doesn't so I won't tell her', or other interpersonal things. I'm talking about the folks that crossed legal lines. It isn't really hard to find out who someone is on social media if they dig hard enough and these folks just blabbing on themselves, crazy.
my son was born with a disability that shortens the life span of most who have it. while he might be the lucky few who go on to live a full long life, the odds are not in his favor. ive cried and cried about the fact that i might have to watch my son get sick and pass away. every year seems like a countdown and i wish i didnt know. i want to be happy while he's still with us. ive had nightmares about seeing his face in a coffin and it makes me wish i had done myself in a long time ago and never had kids. he didn't ask to be born and i feel like its my fault even though there was no way for us to know this would happen. sometimes the guilt is so bad i want to hurt myself but i cant because my son and daughters need me.