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45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I’m an alcoholic, gotten so bad to the point I was in jail and I was admitted into a psych ward once. My drinking life was wild and destructive. Decided I’ve had enough. After 2 failed attempts I’m currently 36 days sober, the most sober I’ve been in years.

Ddevil__ Report

Final score:

588points

POST

Alex, defs not a coat possum 1 year ago

Good job!

116points

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread My dog and my mother died in the same year.

I was so devastated when my dog passed. That kind of pain didn't even touch the pain of losing my mom.

Partially because she had given up on me and life years before she died. She drank herself to death and got sepsis. My dad killed himself in 02. I'm 38 now. I miss them.

I miss my dog more. She was always there for me, through so much illness and loneliness and pain. She was my best friend.

RIP

DepthChargeEthel , Bruno Cervera Report

Final score:

458points

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Weird Any 1 year ago

I lost my dog four days ago. No words can describe that pain. I miss him more every day. And my husband said he felt more pain for him than for his mother who passed away two years ago.

18points

XMidnightRider44 , Sam Lion Sam Lion Report

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread My cat is the only thing keeping me from offing myself. I have a husband and kids, and they should be the reason I stay alive. The thing is… my family has people to take care of them if I go. But my cat only likes me. He waits every night by the door for me to come home, and every time I’m in a dark place and thinking of just… ending it, I think about how this damn cat would just wait and wait for me until he died. Kind of like that Futurama episode with Fry’s dog.

Final score:

382points

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Lynne Hammar 1 year ago

He's your guardian angel

127points

skullexis , Rafael Classen rcphotostock.com Report

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread Less scary and more shocking, but when I was 9 years old I survived a home invasion where I was [injured] 6 times. I played dead on the floor until the man left and called 911 and in my adrenaline rush I thought they couldn't find my house so I crawled with my left are swinging the wrong way and my right leg limp from nerve damage, all the way to the front door when he broke in from the back of the house.

I lived with only my mother who unfortunately didn't survive. I vividly remember picking out the guy in a photo line up while recovering in the ICU.

I am very lucky to have kept my left arm, I have 32 pins and screws to make up for my shattered elbow. My left leg has permanent nerve damage and I now have "drop foot". Despite my physical injuries and PTSD, I am doing very well.

Final score:

346points

POST

Alex, defs not a coat possum 1 year ago (edited)

I’m glad that you’re doing well. Edited my grammar mistake, didn’t notice it at first.

90points

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I constantly think about leaving my current life behind and just living alone somewhere remote where no one knows I exist.

Odd thing is, I have a really good happy life- and I’d never do it, but I think about it constantly

yeehawmoderate Report

Final score:

302points

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Pepper Pots 1 year ago

I think about that too, but taking my cats

128points

Proof-Search , Valentin Angel Fernandez Report

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I put my dad out of his misery when he was on his death bed. I overdosed him with his painkillers and he died an hour later.

Final score:

290points

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Clown fish 1 year ago

That's sad. That you lost your dad and sad that he was in so much pain you had to make that decision

186points

I’m slowly leaving society and don’t plan to tell anyone. I purchased a small piece of property, one small cabin in which I’ll live and a second that has been remodeled for use as a rental to subsidize my income. I have 2 years +/- of work left and have no intention of telling them either. My parents are both dead and my brother has been estranged for 2 decades. When I hit my monetary goal in a couple years, I’m just not showing up for life any more. I’ve deleted all socials aside from Reddit as I use it for news and information to stay current until I leave the grid. My phone will also be be left behind. I plan to take a laptop to communicate with the rental agency and any issues with renters that may arise as I plan to act as the caretaker of said rental. Tl;dr: I’m walking away from it all. Work, friends, any and all obligations. The world tires me and I see no point in continuing to be part of it on any real scale. And telling no one.

Worried_Bass3588 Report

Final score:

278points

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scag$y 1 year ago

No mate, this thread is for scary, unsettling facts, not facts that will make every single panda uncontrollably jealous of you. Good luck though, sounds literally, perfect.

214points

When I was 18 years old, I was incarcerated for three years, found not guilty, and acquitted on all charges. I had roughly 12 charges, some of which would have led to life in prison had I been found guilty, but I knew I was innocent and decided to fight my case. My best friend at the time was found guilty and given three life sentences. At one point, 1 1/2 years in, the D.A. offered me seven years, and two felony strikes as a deal or I could roll on my best friend and go home that same day. I passed and had to continue to fight my case as I knew they didn’t have any solid evidence against me. As my parents ran out of money for an attorney, I was eventually appointed a State appointed attorney who fought for me tooth and nail. He kicked a*s and listened to everything I presented to him about why I wasn’t guilty. Mind you, I was 18 and I was surrounded by grown men and saw some horrific s**t. I kept in contact with my attorney afterward and informed him that I was still doing well out here; he died a couple of years ago.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I was no saint, I was in a gang and running the streets and up to no good, but I wasn’t guilty of these charges. A part of me felt that maybe it was the universes way of slowing me down and helping me get my s**t together. Took a short while but I’ve been on the right track.

This February will be 20 years since I’ve been released.

feligato78 Report

Final score:

275points

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Katie the Koala 1 year ago

Congratulations and wow I’m sorry 😬

62points

#10

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread Sometimes I think I have memories of being sexually molested or exploited as a young child. But I can’t ever be sure if the memories are real, and I wouldn’t dare ask anyone.

Edit: I am shocked and horrified at how many others have similar experiences/suspicions. But the amount of people that feel comfort in knowing they aren’t alone has made sharing this post worth it. Wishing you all clarity, peace, and healing.

ZeroDegreeScorpio , Pixabay Report

Final score:

262points

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Alexia 1 year ago

Get a therapist specialized on trauma (not any therapist can deal with this). If you don't "click" with that person (it happens often), look for somebody else. It will be worth it

105points

#11

Slept in my mom's bed until I was 12 years old. Everyone believed I was just a momma's boy, including myself. It was actually because I shared a bedroom with my brother who molested me. I start therapy soon.

Moistyboy2 Report

Final score:

240points

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SkankHunt42 1 year ago

Damn

70points

#12

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I have unusually good night vision, extra cones/rods (I forget which is for low light) which means I walk around in what other people consider complete darkness, able to see just fine. Add onto that I'm 6'10" and very large, basically a cryptid

TheUnfunOwl , Mati Mango Report

Final score:

238points

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EMRS 1 year ago

Nigt vision sounds more like a cool fact than scary or unsettling.

102points

#13

I have a tendency to self isolate, and it’s damaged very long term friendships because people don’t understand that it’s not them it’s me and that I really mean no harm or have any ill feelings towards them, I just kinda want to recede into my own mind. I feel really bad about it and keep telling myself to reach out but I don’t.

littleprettypaws Report

Final score:

215points

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Dre Mosley 1 year ago

Can relate.

87points

#14

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I'm intersex, and my bone structure is fully compromised, cause of deformities, and a lot of pain...

need surgeries that I'll probably be never able to afford
will live life like a ghost inside a shell

Halle-Hellion , Ana Bregantin Report

Final score:

213points

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that weird wallflower 1 year ago

time to move to a place where healthcare is free

108points

#15

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I can turn my emotions off to any situation if I choose too and basically be in a state of blankness. Doesn’t matter how sad or bad it is. Therapist said it’s a defense mechanism from a messed up childhood.

_baby_ruth_ Report

Final score:

196points

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scag$y 1 year ago

I can turn them off but then I can't turn them back on again. They just make a dramatic surprise random appearance, usually at the most embarrassing time possible.

75points

#16

I have no will to live and I'm only still here so I don't upset my family and friends.

Blue_Monday Report

Final score:

191points

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scag$y 1 year ago

There are many of us. But WHY are we all struggling like this? Has it always been this way? Or is modern life just too much to deal with? WTF is going on here??!!

149points

#17

I'm one of the lucky few with the CCR5-delta-32 mutation. Why is that relevant? It makes me immune to HIV and a handful of other pathogens, most notably the Bubonic Plague.

SursumCorda-NJ Report

Final score:

191points

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AJay 1 year ago

You never know when an immunity to bubonic plague might be useful...

114points

SensualEnema , Download a pic Donate a buck! ^ Report

#18

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread My mental health has taken a sharp decline in the last year, and my friends and family don’t know about everything I’m trying to deal with (I just crack jokes about it or manically word vomit some things but not everything). Here’s some word vomit for anyone who cares to read (TW: bad mental health):

I think I have PTSD (I get flashes of the worst night of my life, and that happened November, 2021). I can’t touch soft sweaters without damn near having a panic attack. I’m getting intrusive thoughts that tell me I’m bad, worthless, unloved, unworthy of being loved, and all other mean things. I constantly maintain a very high level of anxiety. I overthink everything to the point that I can’t focus on anything else sometimes. I have no motivation to clean, exercise, cook, or do anything else I used to enjoy. I din’t enjoy moments when I feel happy because I feel guilty when I’m happy. I just want to sleep, but I can’t for very long because of my anxiety. My Wellbutrin and propranolol don’t work anymore, not very well anyway. I can’t just walk away and keep walking until I die of hunger or exhaustion because my husband would be sad, and I don’t want my last action on earth to be another bad one. I cry a lot. I couldn’t maintain eye contact with my husband last night because every time I looked at him, I wanted to burst into tears. He hugged me, and I almost burst into tears. I stopped cuddling because I was about to burst into tears. I started keeping a mental health journal, and I have so many more bad days than good. Even the good days are marred by bad stuff. I just lie in bed all day instead of being busy and productive like I used to.

Sorry for the wall of text. I’m just very tired and wanted to holler my problems into the Internet void.

Final score:

184points

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SkankHunt42 1 year ago

I'm listening.

117points

#19

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I take a shower with socks on ever so often.

skuloph , Tenis Amante Report

Final score:

174points

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Dre Mosley 1 year ago

I hate the way wet socks feel on my feet.

24points

#20

I was emotionally abused by my dad. He died of cancer around 6 years ago, and I felt nothing.

I felt bad that he was in so much pain. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I just remember waking up the day after he died and feeling so oddly at peace when there was no one yelling at me in my doorway. I truly believe his death helped me recover from my eating disorder, and I became so much less suicidal and reclusive after that.

pegem Report

Final score:

173points

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Dre Mosley 1 year ago

Nothing wrong with not mourning the death of your abuser.

127points

#21

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I talk with myself.

Not the usual "You can do it!" type of s**t.

Literally act like I am 2 people, that are having a conversation.

I called him "G". He is ok.

an_omori_fan , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

160points

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Alex, defs not a coat possum 1 year ago

Hello, G

72points

#22

I am depressed, I want to off myself, and yet, I seem more or less normal on the outside. I often wonder how many people like me are there, hiding in plain sight.

The_GopnikCZ Report

Final score:

158points

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Lynne Hammar 1 year ago

From this post, I'd say a lot!

96points

#23

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I have 2 lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars. My doctor wrote a paper about it. Mostly blinded as a baby in my left eye. Dr suspected my right lense split then healed as 2 distinct lenses. Better than 20/20 in my right eye.

The_Smoot , Ksenia Chernaya Report

Final score:

152points

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Dani Pret 1 year ago

Wow!!

46points

#24

My daughter was an accident. I was planning on ghosting the guy and both our families and moving to a state where abortion was legal. The only reason I didn’t is because he came home from work early and saw me crying with the pregnancy tests next to me. We’re married now, though.

But, I would’ve OD’d on pills again if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. I got clean the second I found out. She’s the absolute light of my life and the only thing that keeps me alive every day.

-pickled-radish- Report

Final score:

151points

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Clown fish 1 year ago

Well done on being clean. And hugs

3points

#25

My father hit me, sometimes closed fist. He even pointed a gun at my sister and I and threatened to pull the trigger if my mom left him. He’s also a drug addict.

That’s not the scary thing about me though. The scary thing about me is that my father is in me and can come out. People think I’m a really nice person and I really try to be a good person, but when I get angry, like really angry, he can come out. This is why I don’t drink or do drugs, I have to stay on top of it.

I have the belt that my father liked to hit us with, he wanted me to have it for some reason. I keep it hanging so that I have to always see it and remind myself to keep myself in check.

Kovis Report

Final score:

148points

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barn owls ️ 1 year ago

you are a much better person than your dad. you are actually trying to get better, and that instantly makes you different and better than him.

142points

medievalistbooknerd Report

#26

I don't usually experience grief when someone dies, unless the death was particularly tragic somehow (really young, suicide, etc.)

It's not that I don't love them, I just accept death as a part of life. It's something that happens and it's not something to wallow in for so long.

Final score:

142points

POST

my name 1 year ago

Me too.

35points

Acceptable-Arm-3744 , Malik Shibly Report

#27

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread From ages 6 to 14, I spent all of my time in a pitch black, cold and locked basement, only leaving for school and never letting anyone (outside the family) know.

Final score:

140points

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Jesse 1 year ago

what on Earth

78points

Over-Ad5104 , National Cancer Institute Report

#28

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread Since I was very young (age 9 or 10 I think), I've had thoughts that I was going to die young. The older I got, the age 24 just kept reoccurring. I'll be 24 in a few months. I have appointments for neurologists for a suspected brain tumor coming up. Nothing is certain or set but this all feels very weird.

Final score:

122points

POST

Domi 1 year ago

Something similar happened to me, I know how you feel.

48points

#29

I inherited a lot of money from my grandmother about 2 years ago that no one in my family knew existed. I still don't know where it came from, her lawyer wouldn't tell me, but it's in the upper 7 figures.
My father, her son, got the flat she owned and we all thought that was everything she had. Apparently it wasn't but I havent told anyone about it and I dont plan on doing so either.
I just work a normal 8-5 desk job, rent a flat downtown of the City i live in (nothing expensive) and live a normal life on my own. No partner or children, no expensive vacations, I don't even have a car lol.
I just don't feel comfortable sharing this secret and the longer I keep it the stranger it would get telling it.

TLDR: I'm a millionaire because my grandmother died and no one knows about it.

Edit: I'm trying to answer to as many people as possible but as I said I still have a normal job so here are the answers to the most asked questions/Suggestions.

1. What do you want to do with the money?

I dont know yet, for now its safe where it is and I will either use it or invest it once I think its time. Maybe in a week, maybe never.

2. Can you give me X amount of money?

No, it wouldnt be fair to give it to one person and deny it another. I also dont really care about your tragic stories in my DMs, I read them and just get depressed so please dont.

3. Can I be "in your life"?

No I also dont want to adopt you/get to know you or be in a relationship with you (except for big tiddie goth GFs)

4. You have to invest in bitcoin/real estate/stocks/your friendly neighbourhood pyramid scheme!

No, f**k off.
I know most of you are genuine, nice people but I dont want your advice.

If this makes me sound like a douche I'm fine with that, it's just a lot right now.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

crudito2601 Report

Final score:

122points

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Dre Mosley 1 year ago (edited)

Good for you. If I ever became rich, no one would ever know. I already live like someone who makes far less money than I make.

58points

#30

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread A random guy in a bar bit part of my ear off.

Ghostrider_119 Report

Final score:

117points

POST

Damon 1 year ago

Sue found his dad

56points

#31

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life, whenever I talk about most of my childhood I use words that leave room for mistakes and am generally using memories and ideas I've compiled from hearing other people say things about me.

There is actually a large chunks of facts about myself that I only think I know, and don't have personal confirmation of.

Cendruex , Roman Kraft Report

Final score:

114points

POST

SewingStaffy 1 year ago

I have moments like this. I try not to think of my early years as I don't much, except a lot of what I'm told. Strange thing is, I know I had a happy childhood. Unless something serious is being hidden from me, nothing bad ever happened

39points

#32

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I've ripped a mans ear off with my teeth.

Context: Self-defence. The ear rips off the head like paper wear your earmuffs out you never know who's hungry

TrashGorlUwU , Tony Alter Report

Final score:

113points

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Alex, defs not a coat possum 1 year ago

Know the guy above?

206points

#33

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread Diabetes and high blood pressure and cholesterol (that I’ve had since I was 21) means that I’ll probably die an early death.

Might not be scary and unsettling to you, but it bums the s**t out of me.

Edit; thanks for the kind words everyone. I spent some time on my health, and went from being 230 lbs amd on injectable insulin in my late 20s, to be being 180 lbs and a regular jogger on only some oral meds in my early 30s. I’m now 42 and I’ve backslid, 195 lbs and not jogging. I’m still on only oral meds, no insulin, but my blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar are all creeping up and less poorly controlled. I don’t think I’m going to die tomorrow, but I’m still worried about having a lower standard of living in 20-30 years. So it’s time to put on my big boy pants and get back to work on myself.

GeneralLoofah , Diabetes Report

Final score:

109points

POST

Meep-Meep 1 year ago

Good for you!

31points

#34

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread A third of my body is covered in burn scars.

Marisa_latex , Réka Romány Report

Final score:

104points

POST

SkankHunt42 1 year ago

Adds character.

27points

#35

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I am a very friendly/nice/happy person trapped in the body of a dull, slow person.

I have bipolar 2, depression, anxiety, adhd, and fibromyalgia. I have had so many different medications over the course of my life that it has literally ruined my brain. Most of my life I have been very friendly and made friends easily enough. Over the last ten years I have been trying to get my various ailments under control using tons of different mediations and mental health treatments. Now I struggle greatly to show any emotion other than a stoic demeanor. I don't laugh often (usually only when I am stoned), I will just call things out as funny and remain straight faced. My memory and cognitive function are compromised. It's a f*****g nightmare to be a completely different person in your head.

Annishe , Alexander Dummer Report

Final score:

104points

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Rosie Red 1 year ago

It took over a decade to find the right meds and combination of meds to finally make me feel "normal". I don't think I'll ever be over the moon happy, but I'm finally content. Some of the medications have side effects that are almost as bad, or worse, than the illness.

4points

#36

I pooped in my neighbors backyard when I was 8 years old. Just gargoyled under his jungle gym and let loose. This is the first I’ve talked about it in over 20 years…

BobbiFrapples Report

Final score:

103points

POST

Biofish23 1 year ago

This list was getting pretty dark, happy to find one that makes me laugh.

20points

#37

I just really dont care about people, I have a few friends i like to spend time with but I wouldnt feel anything if these friendships wouldnt last. When anybody i know tries to manipulate me or be toxic in any way i can just cut them off.

Mediocre-Post9279 Report

Final score:

95points

POST

a fruity dream of delusion 1 year ago (edited)

it’s sort of the same for me. i often question if i truly care about those around me. i think there are a few couple i would miss if they were gone, but not for long. i’m not sure why this is, and i usually feel bad that i can’t bring myself to feel sad if they were to be gone. i don’t think? this is me being fake, i just.. don’t care.

27points

#38

I honesty barely know myself. Someone asks me about what I do, what I like, etc, and I legitimately have no idea

thebooknerd_ Report

Final score:

93points

POST

Dani Pret 1 year ago

Yes! I know myself but can't verbalize it

37points

#39

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I have an enlarged aortic root. It's very unlikely, but it could spontaneously rupture leading to the medical term *adjusts glasses*... "instantaneous death". I would pass out, bleed to death, and then fall over. Dead before hitting the ground. And it could happen at any time. My wife is very uncomfortable thinking about it lol.

ignisnex , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

90points

POST

Dominik 1 year ago

get it fixed!! my dad had this, too. Or do you live in 'Murica? 😳

46points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#40

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread That I woke up in the middle of surgery and threw a mayo pan at a nurse before they pinned me back down and upped my dosage of sedatives. Key note still had retracters in so I briefly looked like a dead space enemy.

Have spotty memory of it. Sedation is very hit and miss with me. Has happened three times. Once during surgery, once during a nerve burn (never went out just paralyzed for about 3 minutes then started speaking during the procedure), the last was during colonoscopy (seriously painful and asked the doctor if he was an old scout leader he was laughing then asked the nurse if I was within range for another dose of sedative)

ZentheOgre , Alexander Grey Report

Final score:

81points

POST

Meeliasi 1 year ago

I wonder if OP is ginger. No stab at gingers here, they often require more anesthesia than non-ginger folk and have a high tolerance to pain.

115points

#41

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I sometimes smile and laugh at tragic news/events, especially if I see someone else crying and/or is the barer of bad news.

I hate it, however I think I understand why it happens, it's some sort of trauma defense mechanism because someone is expecting me to feel saddened and to frown.

SpiritAnimal01 , Vlada Karpovich Report

Final score:

79points

POST

Clown fish 1 year ago

This is more common than you know!

49points

scag$y 1 year ago

Totally! My wife and mum both... um... I was gonna say 'suffer from it' but somehow, that doesn't seem appropriate considering how they both howl with laughter when I regale them with such hilarities as 'falling down' or 'breaking an ankle'.

7points

TheElementalGod️️ 1 year ago

I think I have it to prevent me from crying. Someone on roblox because their dog ate all the nutella so they didn't have any nutella left. I warned them to take the dog to the vet (They didnt know that chocolate was bad for dogs) but i cloudn't stop laughing

1point

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

I don’t know why but if I’m threatened physically (usually by my little bro playing rough) I start laughing hysterically.

1point

Lynne Hammar 1 year ago

there is actually a medical condition where people laugh and/or cry inappropriately

7points

Debby Keir 1 year ago

Laughter when sad is an autonomic nervous system response. We get so overwhelmed that too many buttons are pushed and the 'wrong' one starts first. Don't worry, it's actually quite normal.

5points

Lizz 1 year ago

Ooooh ok

0points

robman1ok1 Hernandez 1 year ago

Are you related to Claire Dunphy?

2points

LJ 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

Daffydillz~ 1 year ago

I think it's possible that OP uses it as a trauma defense mechanism, but my first thought was this... Pathological laughter and crying Also called: PBA, pseudobulbar affect Inappropriate involuntary laughing and crying due to a nervous system disorder. This condition is characterized by an involuntary and uncontrollable reaction of laughter or crying that's disproportionate to an event." Per The Mayo Clinic. It would be interesting to know if OP could have something like this disorder.

1point

LillieMean 1 year ago

I've heard it compared to a brain error code or a blue screen of death. Laughing sort of resets the fact that the brain doesn't know how to process the information it receives. This can happen to anyone without any disorders. For example, I giggled in a situation where I was helping a woman who had just had a stroke and she was farting. I will surely be ashamed for the rest of my life that I reacted like this.

2points

Lola Kassedy 1 year ago

OMG me too! I laughed when my best friends told me her cousin was shot in a school shooting!! I felt like absolute s**t and I wanted to tell her I was so sorry and I didn't mean it but I could stop smiling. It was the worst moment in our relationship. I cant control it. I always feel like s**t when it happens

0points

Caroline Fraser 1 year ago

I laughed when I was told my father had died. He was only 45.

0points

R. H. 1 year ago

My sister and I both suffer this. It's because our mother is miserable and expressed smug self righteousness at others tragedy. They deserved their fate, they had it coming, and so on.

0points

Jackie Lulu 1 year ago

I have to work on this, too.

0points

Pink Taco Eater 1 year ago

I burst out laughing around people crying. It sucks. I generally leave the room now so I don’t look like a jerk. I can feel sad and still end up laughing.

0points

David 1 year ago

I remember hearing a long time ago (accurate??) that laughter is a release of tension. That a good joke builds up some tension and then the punchline relieves it. Which in part is also why a lame joke you can figure out isn't funny - because you already anticipate the ending. Anyway - if that is correct, it may tie into why some folks laugh under tension. I have a friend who is like that. If stressed out she laughs. As a girl it once got her in more trouble with a cop who thought she didn't care / was mocking when really she was just stressed the F out.

0points

Greenmantle 1 year ago

Me too. Talk about ramped up social anxiety! I'd be so anxious that I'd vomit

0points

Just Jeff 1 year ago

This happens to me a lot! Once I went Elk hunting with my friend and when he shot the animal I just laughed and quickly caught myself and stopped. The rest of the hunters were looking at me funny too.

0points

Sunny Day 1 year ago

A little song, A little dance. A little seltzer, down your pants.

0points

BetterBitterButter 1 year ago

I do this too and now I know many people are same way.

0points

Isabela Cincu 1 year ago

It must be a self defense- reaction! Every single time i fell the lowest, i laugh histerically...

0points

Powerful Katrinka 1 year ago

I burst out laughing when my sister told me that my mother had unexpectedly died. It only lasted a few seconds, but I thought it was a bizarre response to hearing that the person I loved more than anyone else in the world had passed away. I've come to believe that my nervous system was just overloaded with grief; a few seconds later, I was literally howling with pain.

0points

Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago

My brain starts to make weird asss jokes if I get too upset. Old "don't let them see you cry" - defense mechanism that can be really annoying and inappropriate at times

0points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#42

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread i can walk in a backbend. it looks demonic

i can do it cuz i have EDS and my connective tissue is basically shreaded chicken

oh and i can pop joints out of socket with little pain

oreggino-thyme , speedoglyn Report

Final score:

79points

POST

JoyfulZebra 1 year ago

A fellow zebra!!!

29points

#43

I'm a bilingual illiterate. Can't read in two languages.

llamafarma73 Report

Final score:

72points

POST

Deborah Harris2 1 year ago

There's about 40 languages I can't read it either ...

41points

#44

I love going to the dentist. I like that bit of pain when they scrape my teeth and gums.

C_J_Money Report

Final score:

72points

POST

Peppy 1 year ago

Oh don’t, I got a dentist appointment on Monday and I’m shi**ing it, thanks for the mental image

34points

HearingAccurate8616 , Christopher Chambers-Russ Report

#45

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I had 6 toes on each foot at birth and got them cut off you can see the place they cut them at.

Final score:

70points

POST

alias D. 1 year ago

Why cut them off. We’re they going to be an issue

30points

FakeNordicAlien , Anything Goes With James English Report

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#46

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread My voice sounds disturbingly like Andrew Tate’s. It’s been grossing me out lately. It’s that weird mix of British and American where it sounds like I’m faking both. (British dad, American mom in my case.)

I’m a woman.

Final score:

35points

POST

Clown fish 1 year ago

Oh that's cr#p

18points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#47

When people annoy Me I have little fantasies about bashing their faces in with blunt objects and walking away with a smirk on my face, I would never but ya know......

BudgetBoysenberry918 Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Luke Branwen 1 year ago

...does that imply that some people don't have this?

25points

#48

I'm heavily addicted to opioids and have been for nearly a decade. Absolutely nobody in my life knows. When I go without them and have withdrawals, I think about ending it all. I don't even do them for the high, I have legitimate pain and they help massively. The high isn't even much, just makes me feel happier with not being in pain

mcweenie7 Report

Final score:

33points

POST

DC 1 year ago

... so? I don't see any wrong in this. I know withdrawal is worse than bad, and even worse than worser, but a legitimate reason should spare you off of this in any place even remotely civilized. Also, I have the same. The high disappears with the dizzyness within like a week of constant dosage, and ... that's exactly how it is supposed to work, the reason they make them in r****d pills, and, basically, revived me. A constant pain is so ... depressing. Makes you slowly stop doing things ... not abruptly, but over time, having to deal with pain CAN cause you to lose interest in a lot of things, it can even be misdiagnosed for a depression, and maybe evolve into one, too. Nobody should do this to themselves. Opioides aren't bad by any means, they're just highly abusable, but ... but that should never stand in the way of treating actual pain. Their bad reputation, I found to be complete nonsense, unless you mess around far beyond reason. But, if you're not in it for the high anyway...

16points

#49

I went to a GP in agonising pain. I vomited around 20-30 times consecutively on their restroom floor. I was told it was a UTI. Recovered a little.

Next day was in more pain and after seeing a couple doctors. I was rushed to hospital for emergency operation on a testicular torsion. I ended up losing one testicle. Spent the night there before returning home.

One day later I met the love of my life and never looked back since. But that two days of pain was something nobody should have to go through.

MidnightIsland212 Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Leoninus Fate 1 year ago

This reminds me of a bad school nurse I had, I broke my leg, we managed to get me into the nurse's office, she looked at it, bleeding, bone pokeing out even, and told me to gargle with salt water and leave...... she made me gargle and shoved me out the door {which opened on to the side of a hill that I then rolled down and another teacher found me and called 911}

11points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#50

When I was born, I was so premature that my dad, who had quite dainty piano fingers, could slide his wedding ring up my arm to my shoulder. (I weighed 2 lbs, born at 27 weeks).

cyanomys Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Chickie 1 year ago

Happy you made it! That must have been a tough time for your parents!

16points

TheyMakeMeWearPants Report

#51

I don't know if "scary, unsettling" quite fits here, but if I met you 3 years ago and then haven't seen you since then, I will remember your name and several random things you told me.

I've had to learn to play dumb and act like I don't remember certain things, because it creeps people the f**k out and gives off a stalkery vibe. Though it is useful when I want to screw with someone.

Final score:

31points

POST

MaireC 1 year ago

I have the opposite- if I met you 3 hours ago, we're going to be lucky if I can remember your name unless you write it down for me.

42points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

#52

I was 1lb 11oz when I was born, born 4 months early. And somehow I’m a fully functioning adult and survived school 🙌🏻

AlpacaQueen1990 Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Chickie 1 year ago

Glad you made it! Medicine has come a long way!

13points

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#53

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I've considered ending my life far more than my wife knows. Was once a serious option in my life when things got hard and I felt trapped. Sometimes it's just a casual thought. I'm also a very light fun person in social situations, always trying to make people laugh. But I'm actually really depressed and can't stand myself a lot of the time.

Edit 3: Thank you all for you kind words of encouragement. I hope we can all make it through whatever dark times we may find ourselves in.

Edit 2: I have been to therapy and have been on meds in the past. In between therapists right now due to an insurance change. And it's challenging to find another therapist as helpful as my first one.

lemonysnick123 , Daniel Mingook Kim Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Daffydillz~ 1 year ago

I hope he continues to reach out and talk as that's very promising and can give them much needed support when they're without their therapist. My heart always hurts so much for people who feel this way because I've been there myself and not been thoroughly honest with my psychologist either, but only concerning that. I was always very thorough in everything else in my treatment. I hope at some point they can share more with their wife so they can have some support for their feelings about this at home. I wish them strength, courage, self love, and success, in all aspects of their life.

8points

#54

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I have seen some gnarly s**t in my life. Aftermath of car accidents, VBED, IED, what your face looks like after you accidently bite down on a blasting cap, etc. Pretty much anyway a body can be mutilated, I've seen it first hand or had to sit through briefings on it. I've had to hold people's heads still after they fell off a trailer while they bleed brain juice on to me just to make sure their neck doesn't move.

You might be surprised that I look like a happy go lucky, long haired, mustachioed hippie that enjoys playing Magic the Gathering, and you would never know that sometimes when I look at people I have involuntary, sometimes terrifying, and intrusive thoughts imagining that they look like walking corpses.

I also like pineapple on pizza.

Edit: So the blasting cap story is hard to pin down. Some sources say it was a man in West Virginia that did it on a dare because his buddies were trying to blow up a fish tank. In other sources, especially those that go through medic school, CLS, and other additional school house training, it was a Marine biting down on a blasting cap either in a demonstration or because they were being stupid. While I'd never personally seen that particular event in real life, the images we were shown of that gentleman being treated were grotesque.

CiD7707 , Artyom Kulakov Report

Final score:

30points

POST

all 4 paws 1 year ago

my friend got into a car crash on sunday, life threatening, hes in the hospital rn :(

4points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#55

45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread I was given two weeks to live if I didn't start treatment immediately.

Bertinois , Polina Tankilevitch Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Daffydillz~ 1 year ago

Oh shît, I hope they're doing well.

17points

#56

I can ignore being tickled.

Slemmiethicc Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Bradley Curthoys 1 year ago

I'll call Ripley's

12points

#57

I have type one bipolar woth psychotic symptoms. During manic episodes I have been known to have delusions of grandeur and paranoia.
During one such episode I attacked a friend with a butter knife I sharpened while making weapons in my garage so I could be a vigilante.
On another occasion a friend and I were out at 2AM and ended up in a quarrel with them over the knife. She grabbed the blade and I pulled it across her hand, cutting her finger to the bone. She has never regained feeling in that finger.

Samus388 Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Daffydillz~ 1 year ago (edited)

Sounds like they need to stay away from knives before they take someone's life. It couldn't hurt to have some intense therapy or maybe a in house stay after the two knife incidents, but idk that they didn't. If I were their friend I'd be very concerned for my safety and considering taking a break from them for a while. Edited to add: The way they write it so matter of factly and mention no remorse at all, is very concerning to me as well. Most people would mention that they were sorry or if they'd had any feelings at all about something, but nothing from OP...

9points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#58

Got E.coli poisoning at age 3 and was about to die, slept for 3 whole a*s days after 8 days of bleeding in and out and operations and such -

Fact aint really scary or nothing, but I can never get E.coli poisoning again, I'm immune.

Edit: Forgot to say, there's also a news article about me, but I probably won't be sharing because of info people on the internet shouldn't have access to

qwertysr4 Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Leoninus Fate 1 year ago

what?

4points

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#59

I was the one who pushed over the Faygo vending machine at the IGA in 2006.

anonymousone89 Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Lynne Hammar 1 year ago

it was YOU

14points

#60

I can open metal caps glass bottles with my belly button.
(Beer bottles).

Tira13e Report

Final score:

26points

POST

OnAFreakingRollercoaster 1 year ago

Quel talent!

9points

#61

People will just come up to me, unprompted, and tell me about the dark aspects of their life.

How their last date groped them. How their parent is dying and they are tired of putting on a brave face. How they got into a loveless marriage because it was economically convenient at the time and now, two kids in, they can't possibly leave. That they REALLY want to have an affair because they never dated before their current marriage. That they are homeless and literally sleeping in their car outside work at night, but 'shhhhh' don't tell anyone.

It can be at work, a coffeeshop, at the mechanic, etc. I just do the usual, "Hey, how's I going?" or "What's going on?" or "You good?"

Shahfluffers Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Hobby Hopper 1 year ago

The OP must be a good listener and a good keeper of secrets.

10points

#62

When I was a kid, I used to point scissors at my eyes and run through the house with my eyes closed.

TofuTank Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Dre Mosley 1 year ago

WTF?

18points

#63

Not really scary, but more unsettling for me. I hooked up with a girl years ago who was cheating on her man, she got pregnant and I’m not allowed to have any contact with the kid even though the other guy isn’t in the picture anymore. I just feel bad for the kid more than anything.

skeetsauce Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Dre Mosley 1 year ago (edited)

Why not? Just because she said so? You don’t have to just accept that. Fathers have rights too, you just have to put up a fight instead of rolling over.

25points

#64

I do my business in the toilet all naked.

(Any toilet)

avgindianredditor Report

Final score:

17points

POST

a fruity dream of delusion 1 year ago

so just- go into the bathroom, and strip? shirt and all?

6points

#65

I really like when people are upset around me. Not because of me but around me. Coming to me for comfort and such. It's like, yesss they need me. Just gets me on another level

xLumiana Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Debby Keir 1 year ago

Try nursing as a career.....

7points

#66

My psychologist let it slip that they think I’m a sociopath.

leisureenthusiast Report

Final score:

16points

POST

xxx 1 year ago

But if you were a sociopath then you wouldn't you care what your psychologist thinks right?

15points

#67

i used to purposefully go for girls who had no dads cause they were easier to manipulate

crazylife02 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Dre Mosley 1 year ago

Well, that’s scummy.

5points

#68

I am the toxic one. This is one of the rarest occasions i’ll accept it and say it out loud. Good question. But I never want to admit that again.

badeulicious Report

Final score:

15points

POST

DC 1 year ago

If you don't want to admit it, at least try to change it...?

11points

#69

I'm bipolar 1. Only two people in my life know it.

lunglover217 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Shine Chisholm 1 year ago

I am, too, and I tell a lot of people. It's a wild ride. Fortunately I have a good cocktail of meds and a solid therapist

3points

#70

I used to spray anthills with hairspray and a lighter as a kid

winterfox12 Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Dre Mosley 1 year ago

I was a magnifying glass kinda guy.

6points

#71

I'm not proud of it, but lives have been taken as a result of my work, and I've watched it happen.

ComesInAnOldBox Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Das Auto Frisk 1 year ago

Judgment is hard on this one, an action out of greater good could result in some one killing them self, taking a kid from a drug addict mother or economic reasons debt collectors etc. or he can be a very bad electrician…

18points

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

Read less »

I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

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What do you think ?

POST

lil bear bear 1 year ago

I have had 4 suicide attempts and I'm severely depressed. I act super sweet and happy in public to make sure nobody finds out. I feel like an animal, screaming into my pillow, crying, dry-heaving, cutting, killer nightmares, puking up anything I eat. And no one knows

11points

birdhouse 1 year ago

I feel you. I know how, when and where I am going to end my life. I have told no one. I will just disappear and never be found.

3points

Sky Render 1 year ago

My whole life history is pretty unsettling, but by far the most unsettling is that I went through 41 years of my life never fully realizing that something was really, really messed up with the form of my lower abdomen (genitals way too high, perineum way too large, a**s way too far back, and many others). I was basically conditioned from a young age to ignore it, even the fact that I have two tailbones. And the scariest part is that doctors even to this day act like there's nothing strange going on.

8points

MimSorensson 1 year ago

Huh? What on earth for? What kind of doctors do you have?

0points

Data1001 1 year ago

I can't see that I'd ever take my own life (unless I end up with some horrible incurable disease or something), but I often find myself thinking how much of a relief it would be if the world ended, because then so would all my problems and my anxiety, and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else being sad about it, nor about not having lived up to my full potential -- because everyone and everything would be gone.

5points

Momica98 1 year ago

I have similar thoughts, and it definitely keeps me awake at night.

0points

a fruity dream of delusion 1 year ago

i waited for comments to show up, because even though this is something i have an urge to say i don’t want to publicize it too much. but after about 4 years of consideration, i’ve decided i’m not going to do this anymore. i’ll be gone around spring, and i hope to create something in the meantime to post on bored panda as a thank-you for all of you. i’m currently working on all the- things? for after i’m gone. i’ve honestly started to smile thinking about when it’s time, though i do sometimes wonder about the ones i leave behind. i’m mostly concerned about how my little brother and cousins will handle it, and my two dogs.

4points

simplyTas 1 year ago

I am so sorry that you feel as if this is this is the only option you have for whatever is occurring in your life. Please reconsider and know that you are loved by the family members you mentioned. :(

3points

DahDumm 1 year ago

Thank you. It's been 8 years of Active Addiction and I am so done with being sick. All of your messages means so much

3points

Saphira Hambert 1 year ago

I have had really dark urges involving sadism and torture, but I’ve never done anything and I never will. I’d rather kill myself than hurt someone else, but my mind just wants me to. I can’t tell anybody because I’m too scared, and my parents don’t believe in therapy anyways. I feel like a monster and every day I consider ending myself. What if one day I decided to hurt someone?

3points

Bec 1 year ago

Intrusive thoughts are pretty common, know that you are normal

5points

tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa 1 year ago

The tone of this thread changed drastically throughout

2points

Mr. Toast 1 year ago

Some of these have made me feel I am not alone in the way I feel. COVID lockdown has touched the boundaries of my mental health,.I re-evaluated a lot of my life and the people in it to the extent I no longer tolerate the harmful however trivial. And the feeling however good your life is and the people in it to just to go off to somewhere remote. See poem The Lake Isle of Innisfree.

2points

Via Hawk 1 year ago

I have symptoms of PTSD and never told my family cuz I'm afraid they'd send me to more therapy. My friends and I call it "not PTSD PTSD" because it is the same thing as PTSD but not traumatic enough to really be PTSD. My dad used to hit me a lot when I lived with him. When I get triggered I kinda just zone/black out

2points

Literal Pigeon 1 year ago

That sounds like actual PTSD, domestic abuse can totally cause PTSD.

7points

the one panda _ 1 year ago

Well theres a list of secrets.

2points

Jose Ortiz 1 year ago

I lack grieving and i really do not understand why. I show emotions but when i lose someone close, i don't really grieve. I feel they are in a better place and i am scared to be like this..

1point

Momica98 1 year ago

I think a lot of people feel the same way. I meet all kinds of people through my job. Sometimes our discussions include talking about their loved ones who have passed away. I've learned that grief is different from one person to the next, and there's no wrong way to do it.

1point

Thor Haugen 1 year ago

I don't know if it's unsettling, but I don't know if I can have a deep attachment to anyone. I was close to my parents and I watched both of them die slow, painful deaths from cancer a year and a half apart about a decade ago. I've worked through the anger at God and the universe. I'm done my grief work. I am a caring and compassionate person; bitterness is silly. I have had serious romantic relationships since then that have ended with people I have really opened up to, that have opened up to me, and shared things together with. Some that lasted for years. When they end, I am sad, but I am not devastated the way I would have been when I was younger. I am not sure if that's a function of age or if something has been burned out inside me from dealing with that horrible time in my life. But it's kind of nice either way. Not to be emotionally ruined if things end.

1point

Momica98 1 year ago

To anyone who feels like this: you are not alone in your struggles.

0points

POST

lil bear bear 1 year ago

11points

birdhouse 1 year ago

I feel you. I know how, when and where I am going to end my life. I have told no one. I will just disappear and never be found.

3points

Sky Render 1 year ago

8points

MimSorensson 1 year ago

Huh? What on earth for? What kind of doctors do you have?

0points

Data1001 1 year ago

5points

Momica98 1 year ago

I have similar thoughts, and it definitely keeps me awake at night.

0points

a fruity dream of delusion 1 year ago

4points

simplyTas 1 year ago

3points

DahDumm 1 year ago

Thank you. It's been 8 years of Active Addiction and I am so done with being sick. All of your messages means so much

3points

Saphira Hambert 1 year ago

3points

Bec 1 year ago

Intrusive thoughts are pretty common, know that you are normal

5points

tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa 1 year ago

The tone of this thread changed drastically throughout

2points

Mr. Toast 1 year ago

2points

Via Hawk 1 year ago

2points

Literal Pigeon 1 year ago

That sounds like actual PTSD, domestic abuse can totally cause PTSD.

7points

the one panda _ 1 year ago

Well theres a list of secrets.

2points

Jose Ortiz 1 year ago

I lack grieving and i really do not understand why. I show emotions but when i lose someone close, i don't really grieve. I feel they are in a better place and i am scared to be like this..

1point

Momica98 1 year ago

1point