Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
One of the wise people of the past once said that the mistakes of doctors and teachers cost humanity the most. I don’t know about the whole of humanity (I’m not so wise as to think so globally), but within the framework of one person, parents' mistakes definitely cost the most.
Yes, that's right, and nothing else. Because often the mistakes that our parents (or we as parents ourselves) make then affect the lives of children too much, and cause too much pain. Such as, for example, the mistakes listed in this viral thread in the AskReddit community.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
“I fed you, bathed you and made sure I kept a roof over your head. Now you owe ME.”
Itz-Nova 2 years ago (edited)
Not very related, but my mother complains every year that nobody cares about her Birthday or Mother's Day. You know what I do? Every year? I take days to make her a painting that I am quite proud of and give it to her for both days. Needed to put that out there-sorry! Edit: Thank you all for the responses. I'm bad with words but thank you all
Cat Chat 2 years ago
What? Homemade gifts are the best! My oldest turns 24 this year. STILL hanging on my wall is the "I love my Mom because..." authored by her and transcribed by her kindergarten teacher. Oh, her comes the tears (and some for you that your mother never felt that from your obvious grand efforts).
Load More Replies...
StrangeOne 2 years ago
My mom uses this often in many ways. She thinks I owe her for having to raise me. I didn't ask her to be brought into the world. She brought me into the world and I should expect that she would want me for who I am. Not who she wants me to be. The resentment is thick with every interaction we have.
Laura Lett 2 years ago
Exactly, we are not property, nor are we under any obligation to be a caregiver for you. You had unprotected sex, the child is not at fault.
Load More Replies...
Stephanie Barr 2 years ago
I worked in a chemical lab between junior and senior year and loaned >$1000 to my parents (80's money). When I asked for it back when I was getting ready to go to college, my mother said, "You eat, don't you?"
Phyzzi 2 years ago
I mean, not by default... I do think that parents who work hard to have a good, loving, and caring relationship with their kids deserve reciprocation. But if you have to tell someone they owe you, especially your kid, you probably didn't actually do right by them enough to really deserve it.
Load More Replies...
VeryDarkMatter 2 years ago
Yes, because it is your duty to do it since you decided to have children.
RELATED:
#2
Turning a child against their other parent. Parental alienation because *you* hate the other parent. So damn selfish.
Laura Lett 2 years ago
Children should never be used as weapons against the other parent. No matter what happened. Be a grown up.Just don't do that, it made my siblings and I have issues.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
Same! My sister and I will forever be at odds because of this. My mother tried to turn us both against our dad. Problem was, my mom was physically and verbally abusive to my dad and I, but not to my sister (who is their biological child; I’m adopted.) My sister drank my mom’s Kool-Aid and used to gang up on my dad during my mom’s rampages. To this day my sister denies that my mom was ever abusive. Well yeah, Mom never beat or cut YOU, of course you don’t think she is an abuser… my dad was a great dad and just a normal guy. I don’t know how my sister ever could think my mom cutting my dad with a knife (which happened often) was acceptable.
Load More Replies...
Cherry Zonkowski 2 years ago
I'm sorry but I'm a woman and my male partner turned my child against me. It is real and it is excruciatingly painful.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Sorry that happened to you. But this is not an attack towards moms, nor are they saying only the moms alienate the dads. They are also not saying it's not real.
Load More Replies... Cat Chat 2 years ago
Right! Parents, keep the nasty divorce business to yourself (even worse getting a child to favor one over the other otherwise). We were fortunate enough that, even though our parents divorced when the 5 of us kids were ages 1-8 (respectively), we were never told the reasons until we were old enough to understand and was explained in a way of "this happened, we moved on. Even still it wasn't until we were adults that our mom also told us the more meaner tactics my dad did to get her to lose custody. My half sister was almost 30 before she learned what our dad and her mom did to my mom. We were actually almost denied any relationship with her lest she learn the truth before then. Even with all the bad stuff between them, mom never spoke a bad word against him (just the facts deal), and always made sure there was no interference with relationship with dad. It was dad's direct actions toward us that ruined things. He admits no wrongdoing on her part. Won't admit nor deny his actions 🙄
David 2 years ago
This is evil IMO. I was a victim of it. Many of the lies I could disprove to my daughters as adults. Mom said she wanted a church wedding but you made her go to a justice of the peace. Nope, here the photos of the wedding in the church and of the nice reception afterwards with lots of BBQ salmon. Mom said you didn't care enough to be there when we were born. Nope, here are the photos of your birth. That's me there. I helped deliver you. Mom said you never paid child support. Nope, here's the huge stack of years of cancelled child support checks with your mother's signature on the back of each one. They understood they had been lied to but the damage was done. We never got the close bonding we might have otherwise had.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
It's a really heinous form of manipulation. The kid will never be able to trust either parent, because much of what the parent says bad is really not a concern of the child.
Daniel Gómez 2 years ago
Happened to me unfortunately. Ex alienated my daughter, she wouldn't even want to see me when I went to visit her/take her home with me when as legally settled. All because my ex could never get over the fact that I left her (and on top of all she's convinced it was for someone else), and also this theory of mine that she just wanted to get pregnant and do anything necessary to not have me in her life as son as I was of no use. Apparently she's doing the same thing to the father of her second child.
Mary Mosher 2 years ago
It's just plain evil. My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. All I heard the rest of my growing up years was "don't ever go see your father ... if you do, don't come home!" Regardless of their split, this was a hateful thing to do to the children.
Mental Liberals 2 years ago
My ex did this to both my daughters before she planned the divorce and all during it - heartbreaking...major depression...
#3
Letting your kid(s) annoy people without repercussions ex: Kicking the back of an airline seat
Laura Lett 2 years ago
Don't expect everyone else to babysit for you just because your on a plane. Your child,you problem.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
My mom would have nipped it in the bud and drag me to the bathroom for a 5 minute lecture and make me apologize to the person. I never really see parents make their kids apologize to people.
Cat Chat 2 years ago
Letting your kid get away with a temper tantrum (I'm talking the spoiled brat kinds, NOT if a child can't control anxiety issues from a medical issue). I never had a problem with my girls doing stuff like that with me. But they tested my mom a few times. They quickly learned it only resulted in her taking their hands and leaving.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
LOL I learned my daughter's tantrum triggers and learned how to work around it. She was a good kid, but sudden changes in activity and leaving without warning was distressing for her. So I would give her warnings of how long we had to stay at the book store 5 minutes ahead of time, and really meant 5 minutes, and give her more warnings every minutes. Worked like a charm. I forgot to mention that tidbit to my mom. Either that, or it went in one ear and out the other. She took her granddaughter out and came back pissed off because she had a tantrum in the middle of the book store and she had to carry her out after not giving her any warning of how long she had left to play with the train set. She was about pre-K age at the time and does have a developmental disability. However we never coddled the tantrums nor made excuses. However, there were times she had unusual "freak outs", where she would become really stiff, hyperventilate and scream. Found out early childhood seizures are a thing
Load More Replies...
Marmie Kyat 2 years ago
Most people understand that kids are kids and they're underdeveloped brains will result in certain behaviors. But when parents sit by and Do Nothing to parent their child or teach them thoughtfulness or empathy, it's maddening.
Cosmologist wannabe 2 years ago
discipline your children if you want them to have a good, disciplined life. Discipline teaches respect to society, and the people within. But do not discipline children too much. It can bring them to the point where they lie and cheat because they are scared of being over disciplined. ( I speak of the second one with my own experience.)
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
I had that problem on a flight. I asked the mother a few times to make the kid stop kicking my seat and she literally looked at me with "whatever" all over her face. I asked the kid (5-6?) to please stop, but now that he knew it pissed me off & his Mom didn't care, he kept doing it. Finally, I stood up, turned around and SCREAMED in his face "Stop kicking my f*****g seat!" He burst into tears (I can be pretty scary) and his Mom started b*tching at me. I wasn't having it, "Maybe if you got your fat f*cking a*s off your phone for five minutes and actually acted like a parent, I wouldn't have yelled at him". She was beet red, the flight attendants and everyone in our immediate area were smirking (I swear some people wanted to applaud) and I got a few free beverages.
In fact, we are not talking about egregious cases at all, like insults or beatings. It happens that carelessly thrown words, unexpressed attention or sympathy, and just a lack of mental warmth cause no less pain. Unfortunately, these cases happen all over the place. And almost all of us have in our memory some resentment against our parents...
#4
Using the children for content
TeenieMeanie 2 years ago
I’m genuinely curious about this. I live in the US and there are strict child labor laws regarding child actors. If parents are monetizing their children on video on the reg, are they/shouldn’t they be held to the same standards?
Rilmar 2 years ago
No contract so the children aren't "employed" in the eyes of the law
Load More Replies...
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Funny that the ad uses an outline that looks like that of a child. Especially considering that more adults than children are apparently too addlebrained to only gather research from verified, professional, peer-reviewed material, too weakminded to not fall for b******t pseudoscience, and unfortunately tend to get their information from videos, websites, and blogs, created by self-proclaimed but uneducated and uncredentialed “experts”, that only increase their misinformation and confirm their biases (looking at you, MAGAts and anti-vaxxers).
Willam Cipher 2 years ago
I dont see anything wrong with kids doing youtube its a great way to gain followers who grow with you and you can secure there future will be comfortable as it can take up to 10 years to even come close to getting real results
NY Rat27 2 years ago
Talking about family vloggers who post every little aspect of their child's life for views (For example, I'm pretty sure there was a video from one that was about her daughters first period. Daughter looked like she wanted to die.), who very often turn out to be straight up abusive and terrible parents. Kids who want to do YouTube and do it completely of their own volition because they want to are fine, but even then ,13-16 feels like the absolute youngest you should start and even that's depending on how mature they are as a person.
Load More Replies... #5
Belittling your child's hobbies and interests just because they are different from what you like. Your child is their own person, not just a miniature copy of you.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
My mom constantly makes fun of me for being interested in science (more specifically astronomy) as she believes that almost everything astronomers say is false. She says that the universe is 5000 years old and the big bang is not real, aliens are not possible, evolution is false etc.
Dreaming Spirit 2 years ago
I remember my mom always shutting down my requests for signing me up to after school clubs. Dance studio? You're not good at this. Soccer club? You're not good at this. Piano lessons? You guess, I'm not good at this, so why waste money. (Before you ask, we weren't millionaires, but we could have afforded it) To this day, when I try something new and I'm not immediately good at this, I think it's a waste of time and resources to try again. It's really hard to unlearn, though not impossible! I took a pottery class recently with my son and while our cups were absolutely awful, we had a lot of fun and we're looking forward to do it again :)
Cat Chat 2 years ago
Or comparing siblings. My oldest is an adult. The youngest is a lot like her personality wise. But I don't want her to feel like she is destined to be her clone. Admiring her older sister, she likes hearing she's "[older sister name] 2.0 with a [her name] twist". She knows just because something she does may or may not be similar, they are each their own person. Putting the "2.0" part in there also makes her feel like a newer, better, modern version, too. The oldest and middle are both anime artists. Each having their own style, while the middle asks "am I as good as" we emphasize that with the differing styles and huge age difference, there isn't a "good as" nor "better than". She is excellent for where she is in the "learning how to" stage she's in.
Luka <3 2 years ago
I do art and graphic design. It's also my side hustle, so I make money from it. Before, my parents didn't want me to work on my hobbies, instead it was all about studying and "preparing for university". It got to the point where my mom threw out my stylus and all my things, and she banned me from my phone since I drew on there so much. Long story short, I had a really long conversation with my parents and they somehow realized how wrong they had been. I now have all my stuff back, and I'm happy. My parents even take the time to look at my art now. The point is, never dismiss your child's talents and interests. It may seem useless to you, but it means the world to them
ambiguous Fox 2 years ago
Ngl, I really wanna be an actor. Everytime I bring it up my mom says stuff like "theres no money in it" & "it'll never really happen"
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
This is a person you love the most and you are belittling them? Why? When you were belittled how did that help you?
Thomas Hunt, Jr. 2 years ago
If I grew up in today's age, I'd probably be targeted by some.real loons not just because of my hormone disorder, but because of my interests. Both my younger sisters were tomboys and I was.more into shows that targeted girls (like Anne of green gables.from the 80s as an example). None of us grew up gay and none of us outgrew the tomboy or tomgirl things. My father berated me a.lot growing up...for being too shy, too sensitive, too much of a girly boy, yada yada yada. I'm 45 years old and he still berates me about some things. Can't and won't talk back. The mere thought reminds me of that first time I spoke back to my parents. Had to eat a bar of soap for that. Lesson learned.
#6
Forcing kids to hug people when they don’t want to
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
My dad “attacks” me from the behind with a hug and that makes me panic a lot. He says he does this because I’m “not a loving person” because I hate being hugged.
Amy S 2 years ago
And his solution is to hug you in a way that will make you dislike hugs even more?! I'm sorry he does that and doesn't respect your boundaries.
Load More Replies...
DarkViolet 2 years ago (edited)
When a friend of mine was in the army, his battalion (?) set up a haunted house for Halloween. He brought his daughter (12 years old at the time) to just hang out. One of his army buddies thought it would be hilarious if he snuck up on the unsuspecting teen and grab her. BIG mistake. Daddy taught his daughter well. The prankster earned an elbow to the ribs, followed by a left hook. It didn't help that his girlfriend stood by laughing.
Sonja 2 years ago
This is a huge one. It is never ok to force your child to accept being touched unless it's an absolute neccessity, like a medical emergency or something like that. Of course you can't let your child dictate that they don't want to be touched appropriately by a nurse or doctor when they need treatment. But apart from that, they need to learn about body autonomy especially towards family members. Children are not toys. And a family member who insists on a hug even when the person doesn't want to hug is highly suspicious. Why would any decent person want to hug someone who feels uncomfortable with the hug? I would not want to hug someone who doesn't enjoy being touched by me. I feel wanting to touch anyone against their will is gross.
CatLady 2 years ago
That teaches them that they don't have bodily autonomy and makes them incredibly vulnerable to sexual abuse. I remember my mother being like "why didn't you TELL me that happened?" And I was like "I didn't know it was bad because I was never allowed to tell adults please don't touch me."
over it already 2 years ago
THIS. And I'm sorry an a-hole violated you. How awful.
Load More Replies...
Brenda 2 years ago
Or saying "I'll be sad if you don't hug me". Teaches the kids to be people pleasers no matter how they feel.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
One of the many lines used by pedophiles in order to groom their victims.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 2 years ago
I hated this when I was a kid. When I'm with my friends kids I ask them if they want a hug when I'm leaving, and that it's okay if they don't want to. If they hesitate, I'll offer them a high-five or just wave at them. When I was young I felt really awkward to say no to a hug with my mom and everyone watching to see what I'd do, so I would just say yes.
chops jones 2 years ago
Omg such an invasion of personal.space.... so many creepy people out there too.
Banned_User 2 years ago
when i was younger my mom used to force me to hug her so she could yell in my ear whenever she got mad at me (we were in public so ig she didn't want people to know she was angry??) but i still hated it and now there's only a few people i can hug willingly because i'm scared of getting yelled at.
On the other hand, which one of us is perfect? Even the best parents make mistakes sometimes. "Have you made mistakes as a parent? Join the club. The bad news is that you're human, like all parents. So we all fall short," writes Laura Markham, PhD., in her column for Psychology Today. "The good news is, your child does not need perfect parents. In fact, if your child sees you as perfect, he'll feel worse about himself, since he knows he's not. What your child needs from you is a model of how to be a graceful human."
"That means admitting when you've been wrong. Being willing to grow. Giving yourself support to do better. Working hard to regulate your own emotions instead of acting like a crazy person, no matter what your child does."
#7
I met a 300 pound 12 year old girl. All her mom fed her was Burger King.
Tamra 2 years ago
I used to be a fitness trainer and created a youth program at our local gym, geared for overweight kids. This one little boy was nine years old and morbidly obese. He avoided looking at himself in the mirror, he was so uncomfortable. I felt so bad for this little guy, he just seemed so defeated. His mom picked him up, carrying a giant bag from McDonald's. Every single time.
My O My 2 years ago
There should be a therapy for the parents of obese children. The parents do have a bit of responsibility here
Load More Replies...
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Even if that was the case it should still be possible to keep the weight lower than 300 pounds. Small cheeseburger not the double quarter pounder with three slices of cheese. Small drinks instead of large. No sundaes, etc.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
These kids must be seeing a pediatrician. A doctor must be concerned and consulting with the parents. There are parents who are being monitored for much less, and even unpreventable issues, but parents with overweight kids are just let go.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Had an acquaintance with a beautiful little girl (about 6-7), until she smiled. Every single tooth in that poor kid's head was rotten. She never ate anything but McDonalds and only drank Coke. (I was told her Mom used to put it in her bottle). I watched her one afternoon and gave her a bologna & cheese sandwich, apple slices with peanut butter and a glass of milk, which she had apparently never had. The Mom went to prison on a drug charge & the Aunt became her foster Mother. The last I heard the kid (can't remember her name) was thriving and they were able to save most of her adult teeth as they came in.
Richard Low 2 years ago
There was a case in England where the "mother" fed her son cheapest of cheap sausages and chips every day for most of his life, the poor boy went blind through malnutrition, so called parents like this should be treated to crucifixion or the guillotine.
#8
Cussing at or insulting your children, especially in public.
I was in the electronics section of Walmart the other day and a kid was nearby looking at video games. The mother, presumably, comes over and starts dropping F bombs at him, saying she didn’t have money for any “stupid f’ing” games and to get his “dumbass” over here etc.
Broke my heart. I grew up poor. I new we couldn’t afford many toys or video games, but I would always hang out in the toy aisle or video game area while my mom would shop for groceries. Then she would come get me when she was done. No yelling, as she knew where I was the whole time. I knew we couldn’t afford those things so I never asked. I just wanted to admire everything. This poor kid could’ve been doing the same. Just window shopping, knowing he couldn’t have anything.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
My dad loves to yell at my family in public. There was one time where I started talking loudly without realising so my mom told me to be quiet but my dad started shouting and mimicking me loudly so I started crying and more people started to look at us. Why is he like that?
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Because he’s a piece of s**t that likes displaying his abuse of power in public
Load More Replies...
Vermonta 2 years ago
Wal Mart is a common place to see that happen. Watch the show and hear some of the stupidest things ever said. When I was a kid if we acted up we were sent to the car immediately. It was safe to sit in the car back in the day.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Behavior is a result of expectations. If you don't have the money, tell the kid before you get into the store. If you do have money, give them a budget. The meltdown occurs because the communication was not there. A one word curse word isn't communication (unless you have stuck your hand in a garbage disposal).
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Cursing is absolutely communication. If you use it sparingly, it communicates that you have a pressing problem. If you use it too much it communicates that you are a pressing problem.
Load More Replies...
The Veil of Fire 2 years ago
My family grew up yelling. Lived on a large property with lots of trees, two story house with basement, detached garage and we played down the street. So lots of yelling from inside to outside, up and down street, from top floor to basement, etc. And yes not all the yelling was pleasant or kind to each other. Even up till the time my father died we had to have a yelling match before we could calming talk about things.it was a strange relationship with dad but it worked.
ambiguous Fox 2 years ago
Not in public but my mother insults me all the time she's called me a "hoe" a "dumb b***h' and a "Psycho" On many many occasions.
#9
If you're always pointing out the negative of your kids personality or ability, they are going to live up to that. Accentuate the positive.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
I’m adopted. My mom spent my entire life, since early childhood, telling me that my biological mom is a “druggie” and a “junkie” and an “alcoholic” and that I’d end up just like her. (And that I should be “grateful” that she’d adopted me.) After my dad’s death two years ago, amidst a really bad period of time with my boyfriend, I found out some of my co-workers had access to drugs and I started using. I also got blackout drunk a few times. I figured since my mom always said I was “definitely” to become a junkie after all, I might as well use drugs. Good work, Mom, looks like I became a “druggie” and “junkie” after all, just like you told me I would! (The good news: I’m 7 months clean and sober! I’m more than my adoptive mom’s prophecies.)
Cat Chat 2 years ago
Congratulations on getting clean and sober. You do what you need to do for YOU. And know IF a slip happens, it has nothing to do with prophesies and just sometimes a bump in recovery (which is a lifelong thing, but still not a prophecy or the definition of you). Sorry you were treated that way by your adopted mom. I hope she felt guilty she had her own hand in your struggles.
Load More Replies...
Laura Lett 2 years ago
When a parent tells their children ,that they will never amount to anything. Why are they then surprised that it actually happened?!
Kobe 2 years ago
Tue. Couldn't agree more. Yet, keep it realistic. The opposite does not do any good either. Raise healthy adults - nor princes and princesses.
Load More Replies...
CatLady 2 years ago
My dad constantly shamed me about how much I ate "she eats like she's never seen food before" sort of thing. From when I was really young, until I hit my thirties and told him that if he ever commented on my eating again he'd lose teeth. Of course since he did it, then other relatives felt free to do the same. None of them link their treatment of me in childhood to the fact that I needed bariatric surgery a few years ago.
idk what my name is 2 years ago
my parents do this and we have started to work on it and it makes me feel a lot better about myself the key( if they listen to you) is to tell them about how you feel
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
So far I’ve been told that I’m never going to make anything of my life, I’ll get diabetes and become fat, I’ll fail school, I’ll be short forever,I’ll never survive in the real world etc. I used to feel mad whenever I was told this but now I feel as though I really won’t fulfil any of my dreams. I’ve lost motivation for doing anything
One direction addict 2 years ago
I belive in you, your going to do amazing things.
Load More Replies...
However, understanding the problem is essentially the first step towards solving it. So if you saw yourself in one of the points of our selection today, do not rush to get upset. There is always a chance to fix things. Almost always. As Georgie Gray, ISW-S, a therapist in private practice, outlined in YourTeenMag, after realizing a mistake, you need to, firstly, apologize to the child, and secondly, respond with intention, rather than reacting in anger.
Next, just try to set limits when you're calm and talk about them with your child. And, of course, work hard to repair the relationship with them. No one says that this path will be short and easy. But parenting is not about taking the easy way at all, is it?
#10
Refusing to admit to their child that they were wrong or made a mistake. It's really common to feel like you can never admit to being wrong because it would undermine your authority, but all you're doing is modeling emotional immaturity, breeding resentment, and setting your child up for terrible relationship dynamics in the future.
Laura Lett 2 years ago
We are all human. We make mistakes. Own your mistakes. Grow as a person. Your child will learn to be stronger. You will be stronger.
Stylishsidewaysbird 2 years ago (edited)
I worked in the school system for a bit as a long term substitute. We’re talking like 2-3 months with the same class. I had a middle school class and they got to research a topic and I get them time in class with checklists and outlines and opportunities for extra help and email reminders to parents. Some kids didn’t do the project and failed the project. The parents were LIVID! They didn’t want their kid to fail the class. If kids are going to fail and learn how to work, they need to be allowed to fail. It’s better they fail a middle school class that doesn’t affect their future than fail high school calculus and not get into college (if that’s their choice). The point is that kids should learn from failure and parents should learn to let them.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Even as an adult, I have so much admiration for anyone who admits he/she made a mistake.
kath morgan 2 years ago
I think a lot of parents forget that kids learn by example, not just what you tell them with your words. Your behaviour teaches them how to behave.
Melonie Hunt 2 years ago
When my daughter was little I was wrong about something. She couldn't believe it and you were wrong. I said yes, I was. She said-but you were wrong. I said its happened before it will happen again. She just laughed and laughed. Important parenting lesson teach you kids OK to be wrong and admit it. What can you learn from it and do better next time. Its part of life.
BananaMonkey(he/him) 2 years ago
My mom never likes to admit she's wrong. Ever. She once got a bit of math wrong and got personally offended when my dad corrected her.
#11
When your child is scared of you
Tamra 2 years ago
My dad thought that if we feared him that meant we respected him. Wrong. Fear is not respect. We feared and hated him.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Same with my mother. She has been physically abusive for my entire life (she still is.) I had “hiding places” established in several parts of the house where I would flee her frequent rampages. My sister (who is her biological child) doesn’t understand why I don’t want to spend time with our mother now that she is older. I don’t respect my mother; I still fear her and hate her for what she’s done.
Load More Replies...
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Oh god when my dad moves I flinch. Not abusive just likes to be annoying by JOKINGLY "attacking" us
Annie 1973 2 years ago
Wanted the milkshake more than she did 😜 and stuck my tongue out at her. She started laughing as well and I told her I was really sorry for being such an awful mum and I promised her on my life that I'd never be that horrible person again and hugged her then asked if she could help me take the covers off and wash them and she was happy to help. I've never been that horrible person again. Whenever I felt the anger rising again I'd swallow it down and start laughing. I do the same with my grandkids. If they drop something on the floor I laugh and say no worries, we can fix it and then we all laugh and they help me clean up.
Annie 1973 2 years ago
For many years I thought I was better than my mother as I was never physically abusive to my children. My eldest daughter was 13 when one day she took strawberry milkshake into her bedroom which wasn't allowed and had also left the milk out of the fridge so I went into her room, the door was open so didn't knock. I asked loudly why she had left the milk out and hadn't taken a milkshake into her room when she knew it wasn't allowed. She dropped the milkshake all over her bed and looked at me and I saw her face, she was absolutely terrified of me and I suddenly had a flashback to being a kid and being screamed at by my mother and realised that she had the same expression on her face that I had when my mother was screaming at me and I froze. I had turned into my mother and I didn't want my kids to be terrified of me as I was with my mother so I swallowed my anger and started laughing instead. My daughter didn't know what to think or say and I just kept laughing and said your bed obviously
Unproductive Panda #3 2 years ago
I'm scared of my dad and he isn't even abusive. He just makes me scared when he's angry by yelling, etc. He's done this my whole life and it hasn't bothered me until the last few months. It's not fun.
Caligo 2 years ago
I told my mother i was afraid of my father, and now after he hits me or yells at me, he asks why I'm afraid of him. he always asks why I'm afraid of him and tells me "I wouldn't have done that if you would just listen" like, I'm 14, I'm human, I make mistakes. i forget things. you cant hit me because I don't do what you want all the time.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
You need to tell a responsible adult. NOW. This isn't discipline, it's abuse.
Load More Replies... Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
Having nightmares about your dad physically harming you isn't normal, right?
#12
1. Give kid an order to do something without instructing them on what to do.
2. Watch them fail at the task and then berate their intelligence and swear at them.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
This kind of b******t also happens to the kids after they’re all grown up. I have had too many a*****e authoritarian bosses who pulled stunts like this—-and heaven forbid you ask them to clarify what they want. They get pissed off because they either don’t have the vocabulary to clarify what they want, or think you asking them to do it is disrespectful, as if turning in work that’s not what they wanted isn’t disrespectful—-unless it’s in the context of you robbing them of an opportunity to rant and rave at you. I am not psychic, and even if I was I couldn’t see through all the s**t inside their craniums. When I was young, I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to get yelled at, but got yelled at anyway because it wasn’t what the boss wanted. Then I got older and bolder, and would ask clarifying questions. If they yelled, I then asked them if they want it done correctly or not; I’m glad to give it to them either way, but really think they’d prefer it to be right. Believe it or not, that got me a bit of respect from some of the a******s. But it also put me on the others’ s**t lists. I preferred to take that risk, tbh.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
After a decade in the workfield, I know for a fact that 99% of the people out there do not know how to transfer information properly so that the other person can learn how to do a thing. I realize it's a skill, but sheesh some people are really unfit to teach in a general sense.
Load More Replies...
meow point1 2 years ago
Like in an episode of Hello Kitty where her mother kept telling her to do the chores "properly", without once explaining what "properly" entailed.
Brenda 2 years ago
That is called sink or swim or throwing them in the deep end. I had plenty of that as a kid. And actually at my last job. I have learned to rely on myself and stand up for myself too. 'You wanna yell at me for not knowing what to do on something new? Then explain it next time!'
ambiguous Fox 2 years ago
My Parents do this. they ask me to do something and when I ask them how. they are like "figure it out" and when I do it wrong they call me stupid
Amber.exe(She/They) 2 years ago
Happened to me the first time I was ever behind a wheel of a car.I didn't know s**t yet my dad yelled and sweared at me
In any case, the main thing is not so much not to make any mistakes in raising children, but not to repeat them and, of course, not to make them the norm. So please feel free to scroll to the very end of this list and maybe add some more of your own ideas which parenting mistakes are best avoided in order to make your kid's childhood as it should be - sunny, joyful and happy.
#13
Not bothering to get a child a diagnosis when it’s needed. Usually the reasons are the parents don’t want to deal with the stigma of the diagnosis and/or don’t want the extra work of appointments/therapies/etc.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
My parents just think it’s a waste of time and money getting diagnosis for their 2 kids. My brother has always struggled in school and the teachers told them to consider getting a diagnosis but they didn’t listen and instead tried to beat him and yell. It didn’t work as you’d expect and he’s struggling socially as everyone thinks he’s weird
James016 2 years ago
I’m sorry to hear that. One of my friends has an autistic son, they were not like your parents but they were in denial for years. They started to deal with it last year not when they should have.
Load More Replies...
James016 2 years ago (edited)
When the health visitor said our son hadn’t reached certain milestones, she referred him to the paediatrician. After a year and a half we pushed for an autism assessment. The paediatrician was cautious as she said once you go down that path, you can’t come back. We had the assessment and the specialist diagnosed him within a few mins of observation. He has an EHCP and he is thriving at school. As my wife was a SAHM at the time she jumped on it. Our son is 8 now, he was diagnosed just after his 4th birthday. Parent the children you have, not the one you want. Put the effort in. As hard as it is, doing nothing is worse
StrangeOne 2 years ago
That's weird she said that. Better to know than be sorry.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
This is touchy. My daughter got diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay at 18 months cos the Public Health Nurse and my Baby First Home Visitor (a requirement solely because I was under 18 when I had her) noticed she was struggling with her motor skills, such as not able to catch a ball by a year and half, and she was running into walls as if she didn't see them, and other odd things. If I there wasn't anyone to witness and help monitor her development progress, she would've had a very late and terrible time getting an assessment and diagnosis, or none at all. For all I know I may have the same thing or something similar, but my mom insists there's "nothing wrong" with me and I've never been assessed for a learning disability. Since my province's healthcare is a shell of what it used to be, it's been very tough and expensive for adults to get mental and developmental assessments.
freakingbee (they/them) 2 years ago
yep. my parents never want to test me for anything or get a further diagnosis other than confirmation from my therapist cause they dont want to put me on meds, they just tell me to pray :/
One direction addict 2 years ago
I can't even get into therapy. Dad wants me in therapy and mom says to pray. Well mother you tried to pray the gay away....that's not going to well
Load More Replies...
Kay Woodpecker 2 years ago
My parents did this. They suspected something was going on, whilst growing up and chose to ignore it.
Royal Stray 2 years ago
My parents tried to get me an ADHD diagnosis, I don't have ADHD and everyone refused to realize that it might be symptoms of the trauma they were constantly putting me through. But no, it has to be something that's "wrong" with me. Thanks mom and dad (and a lot of other s****y people) now there is, and it's still not ADHD.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
And this is the flip side of the problem. People who over-diagnose their kids, or google diagnose their kids and refuse to accept what doctors say. While some doctors can and do make mistakes, if you've taken your kid to three separate specialists who all say the same thing, they're probably right.
Load More Replies... 
Terran 2 years ago
My dad is a teacher for special needs kids, and many parents absolutely ignore reality. They are still fantasising about how smart their kid is, while 8yo Kevin can't talk in full sentences. Especially development issues and Autism are completely ignored by some parents. Interestingly enough parents are always glad when their kid gets diagnosed with ADHD. Parents often have problems to keep them under control.
The Doom Song 2 years ago
I told an ex friend (they used to live with me)I thought her daughter might be dyslexic when she started school. Idiot waited til the kid was struggling after 5 years to think maybe I was right.
#14
Getting more upset by the people your uncontrolled kids are bothering in restaurants/airplanes/etc. than your kids’ terrible behavior.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I have no qualms grilling someone else's kid. Someone's gotta teach them. Meet the village. I'm part of that village.
majandess 2 years ago
I actually had someone thank me for this. You don't have to be a jerk about telling other people's kids to mind, but sometimes - for whatever reason; I'm not judging the parents - kids need to gain some new awareness about what they're doing.
Load More Replies...
piruoztek 2 years ago
Once we went for a dinner in restaurant and some children were running and screaming there and their entitled "mother" physically attacked me when her child tried to play with my things and I took it away and she was offended and angrily asked if they can't mess with my bag and I said with shoch: "No." and she attacked me and then she was cursing at me and saying that I'm insane. Me? Projecting much?
#15
"I'm big, you're little. I'm smart, you're dumb. I'm right, you're wrong."
ЛеснойКороль(ForestKingHe/Him) 2 years ago
the downvote fairies are at it again
Load More Replies... 
Lopez, Laura 2 years ago
This movie always resonated with me bc its a perfect picture of how almost every parent messes up just exaggerated
#16
"My parents did it to me and I turned out fine!"
Laura Lett 2 years ago
Did you? Really?! But ,that doesn't explain why your children don't like you.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
“Let me tell you about my sad, horrible childhood where my dad beat me frequently, and how much I hated him, and how much I loathed my childhood. Then I will beat you, rip your hair out by the handful, and threaten to kill you while holding a knife to your throat.” —my mother, during my entire childhood
Full Name 2 years ago
People that say that hitting kids is fine because their parents did it to them and it didn't do them any harm - while not realising that they have grown into someone that thinks it is ok to hit kids.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
There is a massive difference though between spanking and hitting, or even worse what Lakota Wolf mentioned. A gentle spank on a padded nappy doesn't hurt. It's literally just a noise and an interruption. The goal is to interrupt the negative behaviour not beat the kid up. You could also use a loud noise (like a clap) and it should have a similar effect. Anything that causes actual pain (or even worse physical damage) shouldn't happen though.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
Ah, yes. The usual rhetoric always found in the "Back in my day..." posts.
Red Sonja 2 years ago
"Fine" in comparison to Who?? I need to see a licensed MD Psychiatrist report of Their analysis in black and white that You're "fine" before I'm buying that NONSENSE!! Someone's VERY BIASED OPINION and judgments of Self is NULL and VOID ESPECIALLY when it comes to TAKING responsibility for Personal bad behavior........ A LOT of People ONLY KNOW how to deflect and defend Themselves no matter how AWFUL Their behavior's were.
#17
Shoving a screen in front of your 2 year old's face to keep them entertained 24/7.
Rachel'n-it-easy 2 years ago
Right! Remember when they thought tv was going to rot our brains? Lol little did they know...
Load More Replies... Cat Chat 2 years ago
Just don't assume a screen in front of a little one is just to get them out of your hair. I was starting to sit to wait at a pharmacy with my then 3 year old when she asked for her Kindle. A Karen next to us rolled her eyes and started lecturing about screen use and I should instead have a book or educational toy. She became speechless when she saw it was actually a handheld library of thousands of books for her to choose for me to read to her.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Some lady did the same to me and my teenage daughter on the bus when she was playing with her new DS, telling us it makes kid's loose their eyesight or something. These people always got worse case scenarios in their arsenal to try to make you feel like the worst parent if you ignore them.
Load More Replies... Thomas Hunt, Jr. 2 years ago
In my childhood it was the commodore vic-20, the atari 8bit, the Amiga, and then eventually the PC. Mom hated screen time...dad was too engrossed in his bbs to notice.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
I'm just thankful I grew up before technology took over. We had the great outdoors & bikes, a frog filled creek nearby, trees to climb. We played Kick the Can, Red Rover, Tag, Hide & Seek (neighborhood wide, so about 12-15 kids at a time).
tom qwerty 2 years ago
And then get angry when they want to overuse screens when they are older
Nick Journey 2 years ago
Have you met all parents and seen all children? For some having 4-8 hours of screen time is normal. Yes, at two. Its a lot easier than trying to find interesting things to do that parents have to get involved in. And its wrong. Lucky you for not having experienced it.
Load More Replies... #18
Taking someone's door away. I never understood some parents who did this.
LAS 2 years ago
This happened to me, twice, and actually I think my parents did the right thing at the time. I would just stand in my room and slam my door over and over and over again when I was upset, so they took it away, for like a week each time. It helped me to realize that I needed to talk thru what was bothering me.
Sonja 2 years ago
It was related to the 'misdeed' and you had full control over the situation, the demands to get the door back and keep it were reasonable. That's good parenting. They didn't just punish you mindlessly. They were teaching you that actions have consequences. That's what parents are supposed to do. You misused your door to torment your family, so the door got taken away. But you got it back after a week and it was no longer taken when you realised that you had other means of communication. That's different than what was most likely meant here.
Load More Replies...
Missy Corron 2 years ago
There are valid reasons for doing this.... some children are unsafe for a time - better no door than self harming or fire starting or reckless dangerous behavior. Some children need the security of not being separated from family etc. Therapeutic parents have to be willing to think outside the box to heal super traumatized children.
tom qwerty 2 years ago
if my parents took my door i would freak out. its not that i am doing anything bad that i dont want anyone tosee its just that i want privacy.
Load More Replies... Anna Marie Hinnant 2 years ago
When your kid is opening and slamming her door over and over during a hissy fit - you, too, will want to remove that fcking door from the hinges for a while.
Rhys Ford 2 years ago
It's actually a very effective parenting tool which helps with some kids. Depends on what's going on and the particular child.
Rhys Ford 2 years ago
And yes, especially if the child is unsafe or having to deal with communication issues.
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
This is one where context really matters. Sometimes it is less harmful than what they are doing with the door closed. And I don't mean touching themselves. I mean stuff like cutting or suicide attempts or things where if you can't keep an eye on them they might end themselves or do serious harm.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it is bad parenting or makes someone a terrible parent. You don’t know why people do this. There are way, way, way worse parenting choices than removing your child’s door as a punishment.
Haley J 2 years ago
It depends on a lot of things. My parents didn't take my door but I was not allowed to close it. Ever. To a point where my great-aunt came over, I was around 16/17, I had just gotten out of the shower and I closed the door because I was naked. My mom opened the door, brought my great-aunt to my room and forced me to greet her while fully naked saying "we're all women, it doesn't matter". It was humiliating
Load More Replies... chops jones 2 years ago
Well if it's a kid that just can't listen & comprehend right from wrong.. it's the best way to enforce.. we r the parents not your friend. There is no privacy if they r being harmful to themselves
#19
Thinking you know more about the kids mental state than they do.
"Pfft, I know you're not depressed, I would know!" Oh really? Because you didn't notice the self-harm scars until I pointed it out. 3 years later.
I've seen this situation play out far too often. Listen to your kid, you do not know them better than they know themselves, no one does.
over it already 2 years ago
We're all just trying to figure it out as we go. Don't know how old you are and you don't need to say, but you sound pretty grounded and well-spoken here. I have all faith you will figure it out in the end.
Load More Replies... Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
My parents just gave me 1 of those inspirational books for overcoming anxiety. I didn't finish it.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
My parents have always insisted they know me better than I know myself, which obviously makes me not want to tell them anything. They have no f*****g clue what's going on in my life and I'm keeping it that way
StrangeOne 2 years ago (edited)
I know it's a very uncomfortable topic and thing to listen to when your own child is seen with self-harm cuts and scars, and admits they tried to commit suicide. That is definitely not the time to react harshly and berate them. Never is a good time for that. They need an advocate and confidant by their side and a mental health clinician who can help them work through their thoughts and how to manage their self-harm tendencies. It doesn't get better overnight, nor in a week. It's gradual. Be patient. You may not know their mental state, but the kid can't understand what's going on with them either. The parent needs to seek help and information. The whole family does. Much of the time the issue is a family issue.
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
When I was self harming my mother’s response was ‘you’re only doing it to make me feel guilty. Well it’s not going to work because I’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.’ That’s just one of the many reasons I hate her and didn’t speak to her during the last year of her life
the demon in your closet 2 years ago
My dad told me he knows more about my mental health than I do.
freakingbee (they/them) 2 years ago
last summer my mom found the cuts on my legs. a month after i did it. and only because i was wearing shorts and was asleep and she still didn't want to get me tested for depression
Littlemiss 2 years ago
Oh yes, my mothers favorite excuse was I withdrew from her so she didn't know what was going on - so it was my fault she's a narsacistic bully who used to beat me and abuse me regularly and tell me I was worthless. Ooh and that my depression was my fault and I was overreacting and being dramatic for being suicidal.
Noname 2 years ago (edited)
My ex friend pooh-poohed her teenaged son's depression and suicide attempts ("oh, he's just trying to get out of doing work, he's milking it") and wouldn't follow up on getting him psychological care. When he finally did commit suicide, she was angry with me that I wasn't more sympathetic to her.
#20
Shaming their child in front of people. Also, not teaching their child manners. Simple please and thank you can go a long way.
Laura Lett 2 years ago
The excuse I was given was , that's how her mother was. I wouldn't want to do that to any child.
James016 2 years ago
We are forever prompting our son to say please and thank you. So if he wants some milk he will say “i want milk”…. “Ok”…….” Can I have milk?”…..”Can I have milk please”. Then he gets milk.then we get a thank you. We put it down to his speech and language issues. He is getting there bit by bit.
David 2 years ago
Related - Do not encourage your child to do anything that isn't okay later. IRL example -- a toddler who used to hit people. Walk up to them and hit their thigh or whatever. The relatives thought it was cute. Fast forward - that 'toddler' is now older and is still hitting people. Except now he is being yelled at for doing exactly what those same relatives used to laugh about and encourage him to do.
Raine Soo 2 years ago
My mother didn't understand me. She didn't bother to try because she thought she was always right and I was perpetually wrong. I was an embarrassment without knowing why, and only because she said so. She passed away many years ago. Mother's Day is coming, and I don't miss her. The moral of the story: treat your children right, lest you want a lifetime of resentment.
Isa's left eye 2 years ago (edited)
Shaming their child in general, ESPECIALLY in front of people. Edit: I meant shaming them for no good reason.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
The way I see it there are things that they should be ashamed of. But you shouldn't need to shame them as in saying stuff like "Oh you're awful, that's terrible behaviour. You're a monster" and so on. But it should be acceptable to prompt them to think about what they've done by pointing out that they're wrong, which should make them ashamed of their behaviour. Like "Why did you bully your little sister? Do you think she likes being punched for no reason? Would you like it if she punched you for no reason?"
Load More Replies... Lene 2 years ago
The manners-thing is easy to teach. As soon as the baby begins to give you things and wanting them back, you tell them "thank you" every time they give you a thing and you say "here you go" when you give it back. And when you ask the kid to get you something you remember to say please "can you please get me X?". It's we've done and all our kids are always praised by others as polite and very well-behaved. (Except for my dad's wife. But she has weird expectations for kids so she doesn't count).
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
I remember my son at the park with a kid who was being really disrespectful of his Mom (children learn what they're taught and behave how they're allowed). My son was about 7 and he looked at this little kid and asked him, "What's WRONG with you?". We were well within hearing range of the Mom, so I told him "some children are just never taught manners or respect for others". She was obviously pissed, but as I've mentioned before, I'm kind of a scary b*tch. It was a good lesson for my son though. In all his growing up years (he's 43 now) I never got anything but compliments on his behavior.
Praea Kitten 2 years ago
My kids loved to go to the bakery in the store for their "cookie-please." No amount of trying would ever convince them that they weren't called "cookie-pleases"
Steven Meyer 2 years ago
My wife and I taught our granddaughter to be respectful and polite at 2- now she is 5 and is complemented daily about it.
#21
Not showing compassion, and patience when their child makes a mistake.
James016 2 years ago
We are the other way. Our son can go into a meltdown if he makes a mistake so we have to calm him down and tell him it’s ok. Mistakes are how we learn. Just try again when you want to.
CP 2 years ago
That is how my son was. We kept on telling to use his words instead of getting upset and slowly but surely he is doing great. I have found as a parent not escalating things is a great tool though sometimes hard to practice.
Load More Replies...
#22
I am not a jehovah witness like my mom so one day she told me she doesn't wanna know anything about my life. I'll never forget that
Leigh 2 years ago
My mom is a jehovah witness and a bigot. Two of her kids are being shunned. It's sad my nephew can't meet his aunt or uncle and he's being brainwashed by the jw culture. I know a lot of kids have been molested and the watchtower society refuses to reveal abusers to the police.
Slarty Bartfast 2 years ago (edited)
I'm really sad to hear your bad experience. Still, no matter what religion you refer to, it is a group of individuals, and those individuals can be good and devout, or false and opportunistic - and anywhere in between. The JW "Governing Body" doesn't take direct measures against individuals. There is a simple hierarchy which ends at a body of Elders presiding over every congregation. If any person (anywhere - not just JW) actually sees abuse taking place, then they have a duty to act, but anything else is what the American Justice System refers to as "he said, she said" or hearsay. An Elder or other church member could ask questions, speak to the suspected person, bring suspicions of wrong-doing to others, in confidence (not knowing whether accusations are true or not!), but all religions act within the confines of Criminal and Civil Law, and it is the police and the Courts who must investigate and Act. My own exp of growing up 3-20 yrs old) with JWs was very positive.
Load More Replies...
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
That is awful and hurtful. My mother didn't want to talk to me for months, because I am protestant and not Orthodox as her. As a Christian myself, I would never dismiss my kids if they decide to believe in something else. They have the free will to do so and that's not what Jesus taught us to do. I believe that the attitude towards OP is the reason many people don't want to follow their parents' example.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
When your so-called religion requires you to cut people out of your life for leaving the “church” or believing differently than you do, when it breaks up families, something is horribly wrong.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
My opinion is religion should never exclude anyone. If it does, it is not coming from God ... but that's just me.
Noname 2 years ago (edited)
My mom, not a Jéhovah witness, was just very judgemental, and even if I did what she wanted me to do, I still didn't do it "right", so it seemed like she was always angry with me. I returned to university to get a degree to get a better paying job while working a full-time job and being a single parent. I rarely slept so I could study, always put my kids as a priority, and after 3 yrs of burning the candle at both ends, I got sick and was hospitalized (no insurance) My condition was critical, and I'd lost hope, so I signed a DNR which pissed off my mom even more. Eventually, I (obviously) recovered, and decided to live for myself, not anyone else, but from that time forward, the last 16 years of her life, she remained angry with me and I was happy when she died.
David 2 years ago
That is sad and also ironic given the JW's really emphasize door to door witnessing and getting to know people. At one point (a relative) used to let them come visit due to bored / lonely. They would sit and listen to them blah blah about their life and act interested. To think of the same JWs refusing to listen to their own children is rather sad.
DC 2 years ago
... there's a difference in how you treat people you want to lure in, and people who already are in, or had the audacity to leave, as they, appearantly, "know better than God himself". Well, as an atheist, I have no problem in admitting that I believe I exceed every and any god in just about everything, but that's besides... Luring in and spitting out aren't the same to them, it seems...
Load More Replies...
Monica Sargent 2 years ago
I'm a devout Christian (no, I'm not a gun owner) I have a deep relationship with Jesus Christ and I raised my son that way. He no longer agrees with it. He is still my son. I don't agree with much of his life, but most religions' basis is love, tolerance, and forgiveness. I have never figured out how people choose their religion over their children. My son is one of the greatest gifts. How are people able to separate the two?
Slarty Bartfast 2 years ago
Long-time ex JW here (now atheist): Shunning, done in the right way and for certain reasons is a bible-based mechanism that can be seen as proper or really nasty, depending on p.o.v. and experience; but it's far from exclusive to Jehovah's Witnesses. It is seen in many faiths around the world, both Christian and non-Christian.
#23
This is a personal one..... staying in a loveless marriage. My parents are in one but don't get divorced and it f****d me up real good.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Sometimes it’s better to come from a broken home than to live in one, especially if you’re a child. My parents did this too. Taught me absolutely nothing about what a good relationship looks like. As a result, my young adulthood was full of dead end or bad relationships. Took me until my later thirties to realize I needed to look for someone I really clicked with and be in a good working relationship, instead of ending up constantly being the only one trying to salvage bad relationships.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
Oof, same. My parents did NOT get along. They used to fight a lot, which then evolved into just ignoring each other. This meant my dad just left the house and would disappear for hours on end, only to be seen at the end of the day (usually being drunk as well) and my mom using me as a therapist to continuously ventilate her seething hatred for him to. For years on end. They had good intentions with deciding not to divorce, but it severely f****d up my idea of what a relationship should be like and what my role in the world is.
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
My parents aren't divorced, but they live as such for many years now. Currently living in the same house (1st floor), divided the rooms and share only bathroom/toilet. My mother doesn't speak to my father at all, doesn't even say "Hello". She can't get divorce, because "it's a sin" and "What would people say?"
Cat Chat 2 years ago
I'm not trying to knock your mother's beliefs, but I never understood that "divorce is a sin" thing. I mean (and could be wrong), but have never heard of any religion's God where He/She/They believe humans don't make mistakes, so why wouldn't that include who one chooses to marry. Idk. Maybe in some religions that goes to far into the "God has a plan for everything" and whoever you marry "was the plan so just stick with it"? Whatever. But, like I said, I could be wrong since I certainly haven't extensively studied every single religion to understand why that belief is there. Certainly open to hearing those who do have that belief. Glad the region I was raised with isn't that way. My parents staying married would have messed us all up.
Load More Replies...
The_tattered_hippie 2 years ago
I'm getting hell from my family right now for divorcing my husband. I'd rather my children live in 2 happy homes than 1 miserable one.
David 2 years ago
My stepdad crossed a line the day he slapped me so hard he knocked me off my feet. And it was over something a "normal" parent would not have even been mad over. I was in my room packing to run away when my mom came in the room and asked me how I would feel about her divorcing him. Yup! I'm good with that!
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I don't like labeling my home life growing up a "broken home". It was just a home with my mom.
Parriah 2 years ago
My life and my health and my ability to have positive interactions with my kids improved 1000% after I told him there was no point to continuing to make each other and kids miserable. He’s mooching off and living with elderly unwell parents again and draining their remaining energy and resources. 38 and maybe lived on his own for 3 years of that.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
My ex husband wanted to stay together "for the kids". And I was like WHY? So they can grow up seeing how much their parents hate each other and never learn what a loving & nurturing relationship looks like? F*ck that. I'd much rather be a happy single Mom, than a miserable co-parent.
Josh Gilland 2 years ago
This can go both ways. It's really how the parents interact. I know loveless relationships that are kept because it really is best for their kids. They aren't hostile to each other. Basically roommates with kids.
#24
Having kids to 'plug the hole' in a life that feels incomplete.
Having kids to 'tick the next box' after mortgage, car etc.
And the worst of all - having kids just to appease your partner when you don't want them (I'm not talking 60/40, I'm talking when it's 100/0).
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Yes and no. As long as you really want kids and want to give them a good life, sure. But if it's just to fill a void and have someone to live the life you wanted, no.
majandess 2 years ago
I know people who don't seem to like their kids and use them more for Instagram influencer-style posts than anything else. It feels like they only had kids because that's what everyone else was doing. From the way they talk, it feels like they'd be better off renting a child than having one of their own.
David 2 years ago
I know someone who always wanted a baby around. (and said so to a friend). Went on to have 10 kids. And the last one is likely growing up more Fd up than the others because she was her special baby for so long. Dance lessons, beauty shows etc. Cute little kid - turned to not bad but average looking teenager - who could likely do fine in school if she had not been told her entire life how wonderful / special / beautiful / etc she is. And I don't mean in a healthy way. I mean like being told she is "better" than her siblings / others because mom wanted to live vicariously through her. I don't know her that well but these days when I see her in pictures she is rarely every smiling unless it is a posed shot.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Don't know why you're getting downvoted for that. That sort of attitude towards a child can be every bit as damaging as neglecting them, just results in a different sort of damage.
Load More Replies...
Hoody Hoo 2 years ago
My stepbrother did this. Had kids because all his friends were having kids, so he was "supposed to" have some, too. His poor wife had to go through painful IVF treatments for both kids, and I honestly don't think she wanted any. Plus he's a terrible, verbally abusive dickwad.
Tim Crowhurst 2 years ago
Also: having kids because one or both sets of grandparents are demanding grandchildren.
Laura Lett 2 years ago
There is an old movie ,that comes to mind. "Daddy's little dividend". How to use your child for tax exemption.
#25
Giving your child the shaft because of a romantic partner.
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
That expression must mean something entirely different in those parts of the world. Here, it would be incestuous and illegal.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Giving someone the shaft means treating them badly; cheating, deceiving, taking advantage of them. Example1: If a non-custodial divorced parent promises their kid they’ll spend so much time with them during visitation then cancels last minute because their new SO doesn’t want to spend time with a kid around—-and does it often—-that’s giving the kid the shaft. Example 2: If the custodial parent finds a new SO who then proceeds to mistreat the kid—--before or after marriage—-and the parent doesn’t protect their child, that’s also giving the kid the shaft. That’s pretty much what it means.
Load More Replies...
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Kids are part of the package. Not little accessories for you to brush aside because you want to live your life like you have no kids.
Yuki 2 years ago
My mother is guilty of this 🙄 after my dad passed away on 2011 (god, I miss him so much...) she would let the grossest men into our home. One of them was even extremely abusive towards me (her very obviously least favorite child), and she still didn't care. Oh, no, she only cared once he got up in HER face, screaming at HER, because he was too much of a f***ing bum to get off his *ss and earn his own money to buy drugs when he ran out of pot. He even tried taking MY paycheck from me and I told him off, told my mom I hated him, and I was the one that got in trouble for it 🙄 there's a reason I'm low-contact with her.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
This is #25, and it’s the first answer that has made me go, “This one. This one does make one a terrible parent.” Any parent ~ be they divorced or widowed or never married ~ who dates someone the child doesn’t like or isn’t comfortable around, or who doesn’t like the child, and continues to date them, maybe marry them, knowing their child is unhappy is a s**t parent.
#26
Being emotionally unavailable to your child.
Noname 2 years ago
Dads/men, cry in front of your family if you need to. We know you're not infallible. I loved my uncle immensely because he wasn't ashamed to show his feelings--he'd shed tears without regret, at family gatherings, etc. When he was in hospice care, he hadn't seen me for 3 months, and he cried just because I took the time to visit him.
Load More Replies... DarkViolet 2 years ago
Thus, the "I Hate Barney" club was born. The song "Cat's In The Cradle" also comes to mind.
Parriah 2 years ago
Mental illnesses can have a role here unfortunately. My dad was really really sick off and on during my childhood, sometimes for months and he was very demanding of my exhausted mother. Even if she desperately wanted to she had no emotional energy left to give. Burnout or depression or other energy sapping disorders really impact the whole family. I don’t blame them, it was sad not sinister.
Lauren Caswell 2 years ago (edited)
Only realised recently how emotionally unavailable Dad was wasn't normal/healthy. He's trying though: I ended up at his place after leaving hospital last year, as mum had covid etc so couldn't go there. All things practical he was great. Nurturing he was not. I'm in hospital a lot, and my future/lifespan is uncertain, it's complicated. He told me that now I'm in my 30s I'm too old for this (being in hospital/icu/diagnosis unit). But, when the next day I cried (fear of dying blah, wasnt well so emotionally shaky), he first said '$%#@ this' and walked out of the room, but after less than two mins he came back and told me he was sorry, he is new to this (Mum, I found out, has done all the emotional work and prompting of dad up until their recent split), and I even got an actual hug, initiated by him!! It was awkward as normally I hug him while he sighs, but it was great 😊 I'm sad that he's having to learn this so late in life, and proud he's willing to try
Where's_My_Adderall 2 years ago
fun fact: if you meet 30% of your kid's emotional needs, they'll grow up with a secure attachment style.
#27
Coke/Pepsi in a baby bottle. bonus points if it's given to the child along with an iPad.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Even more points if they then proceed to b***h about how hard it is to put the baby to sleep, and a few years later b***h about the dental bills.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
A few years?! Could just be a matter of months. I had to watch a video of a toddler getting dental surgery on all his teeth in school.
Load More Replies...
Caroline Nagel 2 years ago
I knew a mother who would give her toddler Coke in her bottle. She was surprised the kid didn't sleep well. The child drank about half a liter to a liter coke a day.
Carla Campbell 2 years ago
What about beer in a a baby bottle? Years ago, i had a friend who did this. She was a registered nurse.
Noname 2 years ago
Beer is really low in alcohol content compared to wine or distilled alcohol, and for hundreds of years this is what humans drank (including children) because water was "iffy" on purity, plus beer has a lot of vitamins, minerals and proteins you can't get from water.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
Top points when the kid is filthy and already has silver caps where their teeth were.
Praea Kitten 2 years ago
To be fair, Coke and Pepsi were marketed for baby bottle use many years ago and some people don't change their ways easily
#28
Lying about strangers to get your kids to capitulate. Like "if that cop sees you making a fuss he'll put you under arrest" or like "You're annoying that man with that noise, better stop or he'll yell at you" etc
ЛеснойКороль(ForestKingHe/Him) 2 years ago
it just makes kids deathly afraid of any stranger ever, and makes it impossible to talk to people. trust me, i know 😔
Shark Lady 2 years ago
When in reality you have more chance of being hurt by someone you know.
Load More Replies... DarkViolet 2 years ago
Then there's my all-time favorite: "If you don't stop acting up, I'll take you to the doctor and have him/her give you a shot!" What an absolutely lovely way to get kids to get checkups on a regular basis. 🤨
David 2 years ago
LYING. Period. Lying to them, lying around them, asking them to lie for you, etc. 1. Have integrity. 2. Do your best to instill that integrity in your children.
FlatEarf2.0 2 years ago
Yes because kids will do great with the truth it will end wonderfully 100% of the time
Load More Replies...
ObsidianAce_ 2 years ago
I started crying once in public when I was maybe 3 or 4. My mom grabbed me by the arm and pointed to a bunch of people around me and said “you see them? They’re all looking at you wondering why you’re making so much noise and crying.” She loves to tell that story as one of the “moments that made me turn out so good.” She’s a good mom and I love her, but that wasn’t the right move. It left lasting effects, and I’d never do that to another person, let alone an impressionable child.
CP 2 years ago
I get the spirit of the rule, but cops have really hurt their reputation lately.
Parriah 2 years ago
Some stupid awful women literally crushed my dads heart doing this. My dad is 6ft 7” and probably 260lb and a total teddy bear. He was at the bowling alley with some friends and when a woman’s young son , 4 or 5 years old wasn’t behaving she pointed at my dad and said “if you don’t stop that this big man will get very very angry at you!” And then kinda nodded at my dad as if signaling him to play along. My poor dad was shocked and the little boy cried in terror. He said “ Absolutely NOT true!” Dad said he could have cried seeing that child try to get away from him, but his mom held him in place. She made him her child’s monster and it hurt my father deeply. What a stupid b*tch. She didn’t deserve a child.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago (edited)
Hmm, I'm a little on the fence about this one. I mean it shouldn't be your first go to but if the kid is causing havoc and other things aren't working it might be worth a try. After all chances are the kid *is* annoying that man with that noise. edit: Nearly forgot, don't use the "cop will arrest you" one because you want your kids to trust cops enough to talk to them if necessary.
Shadow 8 months ago
I once got told to tell a kid off because she accidentally stole a book, instead ibtold her it was just a mistake and since she gave it back there was no harm. It's not my place to tell of a kid unless they do something to hurt themselves, an nearby customer or employee. Then I would say watch out or please be careful.
Gustavo Heredia 2 years ago
It's as bad when you are the stranger and parents point at you and say "do you see that ugly horrible person? If you misbehave he will kidnap you and do horrible things to you" and you are just standing there being insulted...
DippityDooDerp 2 years ago
I told my daughter that a cop would arrest me if she didn't listen. (She kept trying to run off). The cop that was there started to tell me that I shouldn't tell her that then stopped mid sentence when he realized what I actually said. Even my daughter was confused for a moment 😂😂
#29
Leaving a set of twin babies in the Mercedes Benz with the windows up when the temp goes up to the mid 80s
Laura Lett 2 years ago
For the love of life!! Please!!! Never do that!! So sad when that happens! I'm begging you to please be aware of the danger!!
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” Mullican 2 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies... Ross “Sarcastic Dad” Mullican 2 years ago
You can easily get out of trouble with the excuse, "Sorry, Doc, but I been crazy."
over it already 2 years ago
So glad another commenter recognized the lyrics...now i have a song in my head. (It's okay, go with him Hailey)
Load More Replies...
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
This is oddly specific. Clearly, this person knows someone who did this or witnessed this specific thing happen in a parking lot. But I have to agree that anyone who knowingly leaves their baby/child in a car alone ~ hot or cold, doesn’t matter ~ or “forgets” they have their kid with them, rolls up all the windows, locks the car, and goes to work (or wherever) for the entire day until their child is dead is not fit to be a parent.
Phillip Moderow 2 years ago
AND it's criminal! Every year here in the southwest where car interiors can reach 140f/60c in ten minutes, a senseless tragedy occurs.
Load More Replies...
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
I'd bet it's just caught under the general one of Child Endangerment. Shouldn't need a specific law that says "Don't leave your kids unattended in a hot car" because there will definitely be something that catches that already.
Load More Replies... 
#30
Let things slide by saying its just a child😒
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Sometimes it’s OK to do this, but pick your times wisely and don’t let once in a while become all the time.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
that child is getting bigger and he's going to be everyone's problem ...
Shoshana Sherrington 2 years ago
There's a balance here. We tend to yell at a three year old for colouring on the carpet but really were panicking about the carpet, not shocked that the child would do this. In that kind of case you take away the markers, make sure you keep them in a better place and just tell the kid that we don't do that. If they exhibit a behavior that is inappropriate for their age, like a nine year old tantruming on the floor, that calls for discipline
#31
Coming from someone who used to be abused as a young child, severe flinching from parents. Ig some flinching is normal if a hand comes out of nowhere very quickly but if a parent so much as raises their hand and the child full body flinches, that's very strange. I used to flinch very bad when I was being abused, still do but not full body trying to get away type flinching. Also if the child looks panicked if the parent seems to get aggravated
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I have to calculate every move I make if anyone at home is angry which makes everything stressful for me. When anyone else in other spheres of my life are angry, I’m even more scared because I don’t know what moves to make to appease them
Laura Lett 2 years ago
Oh my . I'm so sad that you are having to live that way. It's heartbreaking to me. I hope you find a way out of there soon. I also hope you have someone to talk to in your life. We Pandas are here for you..
Load More Replies... Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
I can no longer handle sudden loud sounds or abrupt movements for this very reason. Dad has a short fuse.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
I went through foster care like that. It was a miserable experience: being abused by the foster parents, bullied by my peers. That's no way for ANY child to go through childhood, and more needs to be done to put a stop to child abuse.
#32
Kicking your kid out under any circumstances, unless they’re a criminal there should not be a reason for you to kick them out with no where else to go, especially if they had just turned 18
James016 2 years ago
I remember watching a us chat show where a mum kicked her son out at 16. 3 or 4 years later they are on this chat show and he is asking his mum why she kicked him out as she never gave a reason and why she reached out. She reached out as she wanted him to pay back every cent she spent on him ( nappies, formula, etc) and she kicked him out as she just didn’t want to know anymore. When he asked why he hated her she said it was because she made her fat. SHE WAS PREGNANT
Libstak 2 years ago
Well that is just psycho. She would have received various tax credits if working and child support if not. He can't owe her a damned thing regardless. Did she have to pay her parents or care givers back when she became an adult? I'm betting she abandons people regularly if they need her and she can't getting anything for herself out of them.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
If mine was doing criminal activities I wouldn't just kick her out. I would turn her in to authorities and have her stay in jail. At least I would know where she is. Thankfully she is nowhere near like that. I cannot fathom kicking out my own child onto the street, not knowing what's happening to her and where she is. It's child abandonment and neglect, to me.
Laura Lett 2 years ago
Oh, hello there, Uncle Fred. And then wonders why his children all never came back.
Royal Stray 2 years ago
To be fair if you have a 4-7 year old that's stealing you shouldn't kick them out either, and at that age a large part of the blame is on you as a parent. Also kids stealing at that age isn't usually because they don't understand that it's wrong, but because they act out or are trying to show their parents something
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
I saw one where a 16 year old was kicked out for coming out as trans. Their mom destroyed all their belongings and refused to let them come home. Can you say "illegal as fûck"?
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
There are plenty of reasons short of committing crimes that could warrant being kicked out. Jaysis, if the kid is just vegging and not working or attending education, it could easily be the best thing for them.
Cat Chat 2 years ago
That's where you discuss adult to semi-adult that the situation is not working and something else needs to happen. But never out right kick them out unless there are other, reasonable, safe options available (and arrangements are made such as a temporary stay with family or friends). My nephew, who we raised had Extreme ODD, and, for the safety of the others in the home, we couldn't keep him with us, but didn't just kick him out. His therapist was able to help help us find the appropriate treatment center for his and our needs, and because of it, just wow, we are so proud of the adult he has become. You get them the help they need, not the situation that makes things worse.
Load More Replies...
#33
Consistently picking up your young child late from preschool for no other reason than you were selfish and getting high.
Laura Lett 2 years ago
The child care in my neighborhood, charges for extra time for those type of people.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
We charge $1 a minute where I work. That adds up quickly!
Load More Replies... 
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Picking up your child when you're high isn't ok even if you're spot on time.
#34
When you finally realise that neither of your children has spoken to you for over a decade and when you (finally) get a phone call from one of them, in response to your complaint that "I have two children and neither of them talk to me", that child says "I f****n wonder why, mother"
There are several important clues here:
1. both children don't talk to you (so it's not just a "personality" thing)
2. both children have already told you too times what you were doing wrong but it just didn't sink in and and now they've given up explaining it to you.
3. they've stopped calling you "mom" - and when you sit down and think back you realise that they stopped calling you that at age 10 and now you simply get called by the legally correct "mother"
TeenieMeanie 2 years ago
If your adult children aren’t talking to you it’s your own fault. I went NC with my mom for 5 years. Reconnected recently and the first thing she said to me was, “Oh good, you didn’t get fat.” For the record, I’m 5’2”, 100 lbs (157 cm, 45 kg if I’m converting correctly). Funny part, and thank goodness I’m in a position to laugh at my mother’s comment, is I’ve never had an ED problem and comments like that isn’t why I went NC with her. Just sort of an example of why I don’t call often. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Geerawr22 2 years ago
My mother refused to come to my wedding because it wasn't centred around her and "no one would be worried about me and my issues". Legitimately
KombatBunni 2 years ago
Yup, exactly this. I was tired of my mother making everything about her and complaining about me not wanting to talk to her. So I told her why, and she denied it. Well then, welcome to your daughter never speaking to you again
Shark Lady 2 years ago
3. In the Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode when Will's dad lets him down again and he says "Bye Lou" instead of calling him dad.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
To this very day, that episode makes me very angry. It's like the song, "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" was brought to life.
Load More Replies... Thomas Hunt, Jr. 2 years ago
Meh. I don't talk to family members because I don't care anymore. I live in long term self isolation. Why? I hate society. If parents want to talk, they can snail mail me. No exceptions. Snail mail or the highway with me.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
This was my father. Somehow, for some reason, he was surprised when I did exactly what I said I was going to do, never speak to him again as soon I was able to live on my own.
#35
People who can’t stand their kids and don’t enjoy being around them.
Laura Lett 2 years ago
This makes no sense to me. If you didn't want children, why don't you give them to a group that will find them good homes. Not trying start an argument just curious.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I’m adopted, so I was specifically CHOSEN and SOUGHT and my mother STILL abused me and beat me regularly. Just because you “wanted” the kids doesn’t mean you’re going to treat them well.
Load More Replies... Nay Wilson 2 years ago
I know a couple like this. Their children have to fight to get their attention and it breaks my heart
#36
No proper car seats
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
That’s just illegal. If the parents can’t afford the right seat, then they need to be given assistance to get one. But parents who just won’t buy the right seat for their child—-and who might also drive while drunk and/or high with their kids in the car—-need to be reported to the police. The caveat is that you must find out the context, to avoid unnecessarily shaming parents who are having a hard time financially.
Annie 1973 2 years ago
If you can't afford a car seat you can't afford to have a baby
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
A safe, up-to-date stroller, crib and car seat should be the top priority and investment.
Thomas Hunt, Jr. 2 years ago
I was a child of the 80s. I remember a booster seat or something of the sort when I was 3...(81) but that's about it. I know my youngest sister had a car seat though.
Cat Chat 2 years ago
Sometimes surprised that we all lived without even seatbelts, let alone or the flimsy car seats we had (those slippery, plastic restraints and seats only for babies). But, there wasn't the same number of cars as today, and cars were built to endure accidents.
Bianca Saville 2 years ago
No, cars were not built to endure accidents. There were horrible deaths in car accidents in the past, which is why seat belts became compulsory.
Load More Replies... #37
Taking them thru the mcds drive thru at 1am on a regular basis
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
People should have to attend a class and pass a test before becoming parents. So many clearly are not suitable for it.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
When your child turns out like me, you’ll know you’ve made a lot of mistakes
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
Stardust, I've seen a lot of your comments on this post, and i just want to say I'm so sorry about everything you're going through. I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything. I'm sending you lots of big virtual hugs. I know you don't like hugs, so these are just the nice emotions of hugs without the actual physical feeling <3
Load More Replies... Bored Seb 2 years ago
Forcing them into gender specific boxes. You're a girl/boy so you must (not) wear dress. Play with doll. Play with car. Wear pink/blue. Etc...
Royal Stray 2 years ago
Same goes if you're overly pushy with your child being gender non conforming and force raising them to stay in between. Stuff like asking your boy if he really wants the football and not a doll instead, with a clear implication that you want them to choose the other thing. Just let the kids be and make their own choices and build their own ideals (as long as it isn't harmful)
Load More Replies... Nay Wilson 2 years ago
For me terrible parents are those that won’t give their children room to grow up. They’re still breastfeeding the kid at the age of 7 and policing their phones and internet usage at 16. No.
The Doom Song 2 years ago
And then wonder why the kid is now a 35 year old that can't do anything for themselves
Load More Replies...
Jennifer Howe 2 years ago
People who post on social media how annoying their kids are. "They've had me since 5am", "They won't be quiet", "They've been naughty today". I could go on... Surely it's not a surprise to you that a child is behaving like a child?! If it's that much of an issue maybe you shouldn't have had a kid as it can't be a surprise to you that they're behaving as all children do! Not to mention how will the children feel if they see these posts in the future!!!
Terran 2 years ago
I agree on the part on posting it on social media, but venting to a friend about how annoying kids can be, is something different. Most people will be anoyed by their kids at one point, and suffering in silence is unhealthy. Of course the child shouldn't hear it, that would be unhealthy for the child.
Load More Replies... Laura Lett 2 years ago
Stardust she/her . May I ask, how old are you? Where do you live? You don't have to answer, if you don't want to. I'm just curious.
Littlemiss 2 years ago
My mother was described in quite a few posts here, in yet still claims she was a good parent. If only people would tell her to her face, cause she refuses to believe me.
Yuki 2 years ago
It's narcissism. My mother is the same way, the whole "what do you mean? I'm a wonderful parent!", and ended up with adult children who pretty much want nothing to do with her.
Load More Replies...
Lytha Hawkeye 2 years ago
It would appear that my mother and her second husband ticked a whole lotta those boxes up there.......at least 17 out of that list.........
vimal jagdish 2 years ago
I don't know what I should feel. I relate to maximum points covered here!!!!!!
Yuki 2 years ago
Another sign of a bad parent: treating your child differently than their siblings. I'm the middle of three girls, and from an early age I could tell my mother hated me, probably because I wasn't the boy she and my dad wanted (which, ofc, isn't MY fault). She would always side with my siblings over me when there was an argument, even when they were in the wrong; would punish me for things THEY did but blamed me for; and the one that's stuck with me the most: SCREAMING at me at the top of her lungs, IN PUBLIC, because I DARED to ask for a cheap book when my sister already had one in the cart. How DARE I want something to read, right? I never asked her for anything after that, ever. Not on vacations, not at stores, never.
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
People should have to attend a class and pass a test before becoming parents. So many clearly are not suitable for it.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
When your child turns out like me, you’ll know you’ve made a lot of mistakes
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
Stardust, I've seen a lot of your comments on this post, and i just want to say I'm so sorry about everything you're going through. I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything. I'm sending you lots of big virtual hugs. I know you don't like hugs, so these are just the nice emotions of hugs without the actual physical feeling <3
Load More Replies... Bored Seb 2 years ago
Forcing them into gender specific boxes. You're a girl/boy so you must (not) wear dress. Play with doll. Play with car. Wear pink/blue. Etc...
Royal Stray 2 years ago
Same goes if you're overly pushy with your child being gender non conforming and force raising them to stay in between. Stuff like asking your boy if he really wants the football and not a doll instead, with a clear implication that you want them to choose the other thing. Just let the kids be and make their own choices and build their own ideals (as long as it isn't harmful)
Load More Replies... Nay Wilson 2 years ago
For me terrible parents are those that won’t give their children room to grow up. They’re still breastfeeding the kid at the age of 7 and policing their phones and internet usage at 16. No.
The Doom Song 2 years ago
And then wonder why the kid is now a 35 year old that can't do anything for themselves
Load More Replies... Jennifer Howe 2 years ago
People who post on social media how annoying their kids are. "They've had me since 5am", "They won't be quiet", "They've been naughty today". I could go on... Surely it's not a surprise to you that a child is behaving like a child?! If it's that much of an issue maybe you shouldn't have had a kid as it can't be a surprise to you that they're behaving as all children do! Not to mention how will the children feel if they see these posts in the future!!!
Terran 2 years ago
I agree on the part on posting it on social media, but venting to a friend about how annoying kids can be, is something different. Most people will be anoyed by their kids at one point, and suffering in silence is unhealthy. Of course the child shouldn't hear it, that would be unhealthy for the child.
Load More Replies... Laura Lett 2 years ago
Stardust she/her . May I ask, how old are you? Where do you live? You don't have to answer, if you don't want to. I'm just curious.
Littlemiss 2 years ago
My mother was described in quite a few posts here, in yet still claims she was a good parent. If only people would tell her to her face, cause she refuses to believe me.
Yuki 2 years ago
It's narcissism. My mother is the same way, the whole "what do you mean? I'm a wonderful parent!", and ended up with adult children who pretty much want nothing to do with her.
Load More Replies... Lytha Hawkeye 2 years ago
It would appear that my mother and her second husband ticked a whole lotta those boxes up there.......at least 17 out of that list.........
vimal jagdish 2 years ago
I don't know what I should feel. I relate to maximum points covered here!!!!!!
Yuki 2 years ago
Another sign of a bad parent: treating your child differently than their siblings. I'm the middle of three girls, and from an early age I could tell my mother hated me, probably because I wasn't the boy she and my dad wanted (which, ofc, isn't MY fault). She would always side with my siblings over me when there was an argument, even when they were in the wrong; would punish me for things THEY did but blamed me for; and the one that's stuck with me the most: SCREAMING at me at the top of her lungs, IN PUBLIC, because I DARED to ask for a cheap book when my sister already had one in the cart. How DARE I want something to read, right? I never asked her for anything after that, ever. Not on vacations, not at stores, never.
You May Like 58 Times Parents Turned Their Crazy Moments Into Funny Tweets This November “Vain, Selfish, Unloving Sociopath”: 26 Moments In Which Parents Realized Their Kids Are Monsters People Are Terrified Of These 30 Kids They Know Because They Are Next-Level Evil
Evelina Šiukšterytė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Related on Bored Panda
