ADVERTISEMENT

One of the wise people of the past once said that the mistakes of doctors and teachers cost humanity the most. I don’t know about the whole of humanity (I’m not so wise as to think so globally), but within the framework of one person, parents' mistakes definitely cost the most.

Yes, that's right, and nothing else. Because often the mistakes that our parents (or we as parents ourselves) make then affect the lives of children too much, and cause too much pain. Such as, for example, the mistakes listed in this viral thread in the AskReddit community.

#1

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) “I fed you, bathed you and made sure I kept a roof over your head. Now you owe ME.”

janejennie , Tuấn Kiệt Jr Report

RELATED:
    #2

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Turning a child against their other parent. Parental alienation because *you* hate the other parent. So damn selfish.

    Immajustbrowse19 , Ksenia Chernaya Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Laura Lett
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Children should never be used as weapons against the other parent. No matter what happened. Be a grown up.Just don't do that, it made my siblings and I have issues.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #3

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Letting your kid(s) annoy people without repercussions ex: Kicking the back of an airline seat

    _three_piece_suit , Natã Romualdo Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Mike Y
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your child perceives that they can do no wrong, they will proceed to do very little right.

    View more commentsArrow down menu

    In fact, we are not talking about egregious cases at all, like insults or beatings. It happens that carelessly thrown words, unexpressed attention or sympathy, and just a lack of mental warmth cause no less pain. Unfortunately, these cases happen all over the place. And almost all of us have in our memory some resentment against our parents...

    #4

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Using the children for content

    Quiet-Rip-6063 , aisletwentytwo Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    TeenieMeanie
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m genuinely curious about this. I live in the US and there are strict child labor laws regarding child actors. If parents are monetizing their children on video on the reg, are they/shouldn’t they be held to the same standards?

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Belittling your child's hobbies and interests just because they are different from what you like. Your child is their own person, not just a miniature copy of you.

    Random-Username7272 , Polesie Toys Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom constantly makes fun of me for being interested in science (more specifically astronomy) as she believes that almost everything astronomers say is false. She says that the universe is 5000 years old and the big bang is not real, aliens are not possible, evolution is false etc.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #6

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Forcing kids to hug people when they don’t want to

    CrystalQueen3000 , Jonathan Borba Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad “attacks” me from the behind with a hug and that makes me panic a lot. He says he does this because I’m “not a loving person” because I hate being hugged.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu

    On the other hand, which one of us is perfect? Even the best parents make mistakes sometimes. "Have you made mistakes as a parent? Join the club. The bad news is that you're human, like all parents. So we all fall short," writes Laura Markham, PhD., in her column for Psychology Today. "The good news is, your child does not need perfect parents. In fact, if your child sees you as perfect, he'll feel worse about himself, since he knows he's not. What your child needs from you is a model of how to be a graceful human."

    "That means admitting when you've been wrong. Being willing to grow. Giving yourself support to do better. Working hard to regulate your own emotions instead of acting like a crazy person, no matter what your child does."

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #7

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) I met a 300 pound 12 year old girl. All her mom fed her was Burger King.

    Wooden-Discount7884 , Leo Arslan Report

    #8

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Cussing at or insulting your children, especially in public.

    I was in the electronics section of Walmart the other day and a kid was nearby looking at video games. The mother, presumably, comes over and starts dropping F bombs at him, saying she didn’t have money for any “stupid f’ing” games and to get his “dumbass” over here etc.

    Broke my heart. I grew up poor. I new we couldn’t afford many toys or video games, but I would always hang out in the toy aisle or video game area while my mom would shop for groceries. Then she would come get me when she was done. No yelling, as she knew where I was the whole time. I knew we couldn’t afford those things so I never asked. I just wanted to admire everything. This poor kid could’ve been doing the same. Just window shopping, knowing he couldn’t have anything.

    Exotic-Squirrel , Tatiana Syrikova Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad loves to yell at my family in public. There was one time where I started talking loudly without realising so my mom told me to be quiet but my dad started shouting and mimicking me loudly so I started crying and more people started to look at us. Why is he like that?

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) If you're always pointing out the negative of your kids personality or ability, they are going to live up to that. Accentuate the positive.

    TimeTraveler3056 , Virginia State Parks Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m adopted. My mom spent my entire life, since early childhood, telling me that my biological mom is a “druggie” and a “junkie” and an “alcoholic” and that I’d end up just like her. (And that I should be “grateful” that she’d adopted me.) After my dad’s death two years ago, amidst a really bad period of time with my boyfriend, I found out some of my co-workers had access to drugs and I started using. I also got blackout drunk a few times. I figured since my mom always said I was “definitely” to become a junkie after all, I might as well use drugs. Good work, Mom, looks like I became a “druggie” and “junkie” after all, just like you told me I would! (The good news: I’m 7 months clean and sober! I’m more than my adoptive mom’s prophecies.)

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu

    However, understanding the problem is essentially the first step towards solving it. So if you saw yourself in one of the points of our selection today, do not rush to get upset. There is always a chance to fix things. Almost always. As Georgie Gray, ISW-S, a therapist in private practice, outlined in YourTeenMag, after realizing a mistake, you need to, firstly, apologize to the child, and secondly, respond with intention, rather than reacting in anger.

    Next, just try to set limits when you're calm and talk about them with your child. And, of course, work hard to repair the relationship with them. No one says that this path will be short and easy. But parenting is not about taking the easy way at all, is it?

    #10

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Refusing to admit to their child that they were wrong or made a mistake. It's really common to feel like you can never admit to being wrong because it would undermine your authority, but all you're doing is modeling emotional immaturity, breeding resentment, and setting your child up for terrible relationship dynamics in the future.

    goosie7 , cottonbro studio Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Laura Lett
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We are all human. We make mistakes. Own your mistakes. Grow as a person. Your child will learn to be stronger. You will be stronger.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #11

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) When your child is scared of you

    WiccanNonbinaryWitch , Pixabay Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tamra
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad thought that if we feared him that meant we respected him. Wrong. Fear is not respect. We feared and hated him.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #12

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) 1. Give kid an order to do something without instructing them on what to do.
    2. Watch them fail at the task and then berate their intelligence and swear at them.

    folklorebetty , Yan Krukau Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kind of b******t also happens to the kids after they’re all grown up. I have had too many a*****e authoritarian bosses who pulled stunts like this—-and heaven forbid you ask them to clarify what they want. They get pissed off because they either don’t have the vocabulary to clarify what they want, or think you asking them to do it is disrespectful, as if turning in work that’s not what they wanted isn’t disrespectful—-unless it’s in the context of you robbing them of an opportunity to rant and rave at you. I am not psychic, and even if I was I couldn’t see through all the s**t inside their craniums. When I was young, I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to get yelled at, but got yelled at anyway because it wasn’t what the boss wanted. Then I got older and bolder, and would ask clarifying questions. If they yelled, I then asked them if they want it done correctly or not; I’m glad to give it to them either way, but really think they’d prefer it to be right. Believe it or not, that got me a bit of respect from some of the a******s. But it also put me on the others’ s**t lists. I preferred to take that risk, tbh.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu

    In any case, the main thing is not so much not to make any mistakes in raising children, but not to repeat them and, of course, not to make them the norm. So please feel free to scroll to the very end of this list and maybe add some more of your own ideas which parenting mistakes are best avoided in order to make your kid's childhood as it should be - sunny, joyful and happy.

    #13

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Not bothering to get a child a diagnosis when it’s needed. Usually the reasons are the parents don’t want to deal with the stigma of the diagnosis and/or don’t want the extra work of appointments/therapies/etc.

    paul_rudds_drag_race , Collin Guernsey Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents just think it’s a waste of time and money getting diagnosis for their 2 kids. My brother has always struggled in school and the teachers told them to consider getting a diagnosis but they didn’t listen and instead tried to beat him and yell. It didn’t work as you’d expect and he’s struggling socially as everyone thinks he’s weird

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Getting more upset by the people your uncontrolled kids are bothering in restaurants/airplanes/etc. than your kids’ terrible behavior.

    smp501 , Anna Shvets Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have no qualms grilling someone else's kid. Someone's gotta teach them. Meet the village. I'm part of that village.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #15

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) "I'm big, you're little. I'm smart, you're dumb. I'm right, you're wrong."

    Worried_pet_Potato , freestocks.org Report

    #16

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) "My parents did it to me and I turned out fine!"

    howboutthat101 , Victoria Rain Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Laura Lett
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you? Really?! But ,that doesn't explain why your children don't like you.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #17

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Shoving a screen in front of your 2 year old's face to keep them entertained 24/7.

    Gimmesumfreespeech , madgerly Report

    #18

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Taking someone's door away. I never understood some parents who did this.

    Awkotaco95 , Ben Fitzgerald-O'Connor Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    LAS
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This happened to me, twice, and actually I think my parents did the right thing at the time. I would just stand in my room and slam my door over and over and over again when I was upset, so they took it away, for like a week each time. It helped me to realize that I needed to talk thru what was bothering me.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #19

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Thinking you know more about the kids mental state than they do.

    "Pfft, I know you're not depressed, I would know!" Oh really? Because you didn't notice the self-harm scars until I pointed it out. 3 years later.

    I've seen this situation play out far too often. Listen to your kid, you do not know them better than they know themselves, no one does.

    TheNerdMaster69 , Pixabay Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #20

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Shaming their child in front of people. Also, not teaching their child manners. Simple please and thank you can go a long way.

    teacherof4sand5s , Suparada Intharoek Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Laura Lett
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The excuse I was given was , that's how her mother was. I wouldn't want to do that to any child.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #21

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Not showing compassion, and patience when their child makes a mistake.

    jamminjalepeno , cottonbro studio Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We are the other way. Our son can go into a meltdown if he makes a mistake so we have to calm him down and tell him it’s ok. Mistakes are how we learn. Just try again when you want to.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #22

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) I am not a jehovah witness like my mom so one day she told me she doesn't wanna know anything about my life. I'll never forget that

    anon , cottonbro studio Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Leigh
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom is a jehovah witness and a bigot. Two of her kids are being shunned. It's sad my nephew can't meet his aunt or uncle and he's being brainwashed by the jw culture. I know a lot of kids have been molested and the watchtower society refuses to reveal abusers to the police.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #23

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) This is a personal one..... staying in a loveless marriage. My parents are in one but don't get divorced and it f****d me up real good.

    JKolodne , Kumon Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes it’s better to come from a broken home than to live in one, especially if you’re a child. My parents did this too. Taught me absolutely nothing about what a good relationship looks like. As a result, my young adulthood was full of dead end or bad relationships. Took me until my later thirties to realize I needed to look for someone I really clicked with and be in a good working relationship, instead of ending up constantly being the only one trying to salvage bad relationships.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #24

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Having kids to 'plug the hole' in a life that feels incomplete.

    Having kids to 'tick the next box' after mortgage, car etc.

    And the worst of all - having kids just to appease your partner when you don't want them (I'm not talking 60/40, I'm talking when it's 100/0).

    the_sun_gun Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes and no. As long as you really want kids and want to give them a good life, sure. But if it's just to fill a void and have someone to live the life you wanted, no.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #25

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Giving your child the shaft because of a romantic partner.

    G_Ram3 , Sam Lion Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That expression must mean something entirely different in those parts of the world. Here, it would be incestuous and illegal.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #26

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Being emotionally unavailable to your child.

    calmanxiety88 , Lukas b Report

    #27

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Coke/Pepsi in a baby bottle. bonus points if it's given to the child along with an iPad.

    MasterXylophone , Ethan Sees Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even more points if they then proceed to b***h about how hard it is to put the baby to sleep, and a few years later b***h about the dental bills.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #28

    Lying about strangers to get your kids to capitulate. Like "if that cop sees you making a fuss he'll put you under arrest" or like "You're annoying that man with that noise, better stop or he'll yell at you" etc

    inurashii Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ЛеснойКороль(ForestKingHe/Him)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it just makes kids deathly afraid of any stranger ever, and makes it impossible to talk to people. trust me, i know 😔

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #29

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Leaving a set of twin babies in the Mercedes Benz with the windows up when the temp goes up to the mid 80s

    SpreadingPropaganda1 , Jhonata Senna Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Laura Lett
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For the love of life!! Please!!! Never do that!! So sad when that happens! I'm begging you to please be aware of the danger!!

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #30

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Let things slide by saying its just a child😒

    MutantGodfreaky , Scott Webb Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes it’s OK to do this, but pick your times wisely and don’t let once in a while become all the time.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
    Unlimited content
    Ad-free browsing
    Dark mode
    #31

    Coming from someone who used to be abused as a young child, severe flinching from parents. Ig some flinching is normal if a hand comes out of nowhere very quickly but if a parent so much as raises their hand and the child full body flinches, that's very strange. I used to flinch very bad when I was being abused, still do but not full body trying to get away type flinching. Also if the child looks panicked if the parent seems to get aggravated

    SuperNova091272 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have to calculate every move I make if anyone at home is angry which makes everything stressful for me. When anyone else in other spheres of my life are angry, I’m even more scared because I don’t know what moves to make to appease them

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #32

    Kicking your kid out under any circumstances, unless they’re a criminal there should not be a reason for you to kick them out with no where else to go, especially if they had just turned 18

    KittyChu613 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember watching a us chat show where a mum kicked her son out at 16. 3 or 4 years later they are on this chat show and he is asking his mum why she kicked him out as she never gave a reason and why she reached out. She reached out as she wanted him to pay back every cent she spent on him ( nappies, formula, etc) and she kicked him out as she just didn’t want to know anymore. When he asked why he hated her she said it was because she made her fat. SHE WAS PREGNANT

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #33

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Consistently picking up your young child late from preschool for no other reason than you were selfish and getting high.

    Ashamed_Style_8645 , Natalie Bond Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Laura Lett
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The child care in my neighborhood, charges for extra time for those type of people.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #34

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) When you finally realise that neither of your children has spoken to you for over a decade and when you (finally) get a phone call from one of them, in response to your complaint that "I have two children and neither of them talk to me", that child says "I f****n wonder why, mother"

    There are several important clues here:

    1. both children don't talk to you (so it's not just a "personality" thing)
    2. both children have already told you too times what you were doing wrong but it just didn't sink in and and now they've given up explaining it to you.
    3. they've stopped calling you "mom" - and when you sit down and think back you realise that they stopped calling you that at age 10 and now you simply get called by the legally correct "mother"

    someothercrappyname , Antoni Shkraba Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    TeenieMeanie
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your adult children aren’t talking to you it’s your own fault. I went NC with my mom for 5 years. Reconnected recently and the first thing she said to me was, “Oh good, you didn’t get fat.” For the record, I’m 5’2”, 100 lbs (157 cm, 45 kg if I’m converting correctly). Funny part, and thank goodness I’m in a position to laugh at my mother’s comment, is I’ve never had an ED problem and comments like that isn’t why I went NC with her. Just sort of an example of why I don’t call often. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #35

    People who can’t stand their kids and don’t enjoy being around them.

    Samurai_IX Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Laura Lett
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This makes no sense to me. If you didn't want children, why don't you give them to a group that will find them good homes. Not trying start an argument just curious.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #36

    "What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) No proper car seats

    dkeethler , Rusty Clark ~ 100K Photos Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s just illegal. If the parents can’t afford the right seat, then they need to be given assistance to get one. But parents who just won’t buy the right seat for their child—-and who might also drive while drunk and/or high with their kids in the car—-need to be reported to the police. The caveat is that you must find out the context, to avoid unnecessarily shaming parents who are having a hard time financially.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #37

    Taking them thru the mcds drive thru at 1am on a regular basis

    lightningbug24 Report