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People Who’ve Walked Out Of First Dates Share The Moment They Realized They Should Leave (40 Stories)
First dates are usually a bit weird and awkward. But when the person uses you to cover an expensive restaurant bill or tries to recruit you to a pyramid scheme, they're unbearable.
A few weeks ago, Redditor u/Eseohii posted a question to r/AskReddit, saying "Those who've walked out on first dates, what was your 'I'm out of here' moment?" and people instantly filled the comment section with crazy characters and surprising stories.
Here are some of them.
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#1
Had a first date with a girl who insisted we go to a really expensive place, where she ordered a $25 dollar appetizer, $45 steak and a $15 drink. She wouldn't put down her phone, kept taking calls and answering texts. The waitress noticed and motioned for me from behind her. I excused myself, and the waitress had separate bills all made up and asked if I wanted to pay my share and leave her at the table. I said, "That would be wonderful!" So I did.
#2
I drove us. Started to parallel park (been working/parking in SF for years by then) and he said, “I’ll park this for you, women don’t do well at parallel parking.” At dinner he was dismissive only to female wait staff.
I ran into these two hilariously drunk surfer dudes on my way from the bathroom, they told me my date was a jerk. We laughed about it and I went back to my table.
When leaving, the drunk dudes were also outside, I said bye to them and Assholio had the nerve to bark, “she’s with me!”
I told him to wait while I got in the car and unlocked the doors..except I didn’t. I drove off and left him standing there. The two drunk dudes whooped and yelled go, lady, go! Such an awesome finish to a terribly embarrassing date.
Bored Panda got in touch with u/Eseohii and they told us the idea for the post came from a real-life example. "My friend had been on a date but walked out because the guy had researched her whole life and was reading off facts about her to her," the Redditor told us. "I was curious what other crazy things people have encountered on a date that made them say 'nope.'"
All these comments under the post only strengthened u/Eseohii's belief that "even after agreeing to a date you're not obligated to follow through if it's not worth your time!"
Even if we disregard the extreme cases, they think it's not "rude" to abandon your first date. "Life is way too short to keep engaging in things you're not truly interested in," the Redditor said.
#3
On a first date with a military guy. He spent a large portion of the date talking about why the strippers in Toronto were better than the strippers where we lived. To change the topic, I asked him if he did any volunteer work with the military overseas and he said "NO! I joined the military to kill people not help people!" I got my bill, chugged my beer, and left as fast as I could.
#4
The fact that within 10 minutes of meeting him he started making sexual comments and "joking" about following me home so he could stalk me if I rejected him.
I got out with the help of a bartender who let me leave out the back door.
#5
Having the usual get to know you conversation over drinks. I was telling how my car was stolen the night before and her response was.."Don't you just hate blacks?" I never said who stole it....I was out of there...
As more Americans turn to online dating and the #MeToo movement leaves its imprint on the dating scene, nearly half of U.S. adults – and a majority of women – say that dating has become harder in the last 10 years.
Since there are no guarantees whether or not a date will work out for you, you have to be emotionally prepared for pretty much everything that might happen. "Having the right level of expectation is really important to ensuring you both enjoy your date, and stay motivated for future ones," dating coach Hayley Quinn told Bored Panda.
"Dating is a process, so don't go on a first date expecting to meet 'The One'! A good level of expectation to have for a first date is that you're going to have fun and be curious about the other person. A first date isn't about anyone judging anyone else, it's just an opportunity to see if that level of connection between you could be there," Quinn explained.
#6
Went to pick up my blind date. She opened the door and looked at me.
"Ew"
I looked at her and said "Yeah, I agree" and turned on my heel and left. Total date time Less than 5 minutes.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago (edited)
What a terrible woman. I think their response was warranted, based on her manners alone.
#7
We were talking about out pets and I told her about my cat and she said if we were to continue dating I would have to get rid of him because she doesn't like cats. For a moment I thought she was kidding because who would ask that of a first date (or any date). It became clear she wasn't kidding and was mad I wasn't taking her suggestion seriously. I didn't end up leaving, I was in the middle of my fettuccine alfredo and I wasn't about to scoop it into some doggy bag like some caveman. She took an Uber.
I haven't had many memorably bad dates, but that was the worst. Im willing to make certain reasonable changes for the right person, but cats are non-negotiable.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
My hero. You never have a relationship with someone who doesn't like your pets or children.
#8
This guy and I were eating dinner after chatting for a couple of weeks, and unprompted (in the middle of something I was saying) and completely unrelated to what was being discussed he said something along the lines of, “So you know in order for this to work you’re gonna have to share yourself right? My friends and I like to pass girls around.”
I was pretty dumbfounded and after a bit of stuttering I told him I didn’t think it was going to work, asked for a to-go box and my portion of the check, and noped the f**k outta there.
Most of us have probably been in an awkward situation where the date isn't going well and we want to leave early but can't find a nice way to do it. According to Quinn, that's something we need to take care of before, not during the evening.
"Instead of thinking about ending a date early, I would try to avoid planning dates where you're going to end up feeling over-committed!" the dating coach said. "Skip dinner and keep it to casual drinks or a coffee in an area that's convenient to you."
However, if you get enough bad vibes to start feeling you need to hit the eject button, then Quinn advises to be candid and say something along the lines of, "I appreciate you meeting me, but although it's awkward I want to be upfront that I don't think we have that chemistry."
"If you feel too unsafe to do this, yes you can make an excuse to leave (the old phone a friend) or tell a member of staff at the venue that you're looking for Angela, this is a code word to let members of staff know you feel unsafe, and they should assist you into a taxi," the dating coach said.
#9
Not me but this happened to a friend. Context: friend has a beard. So my friend picks up this girl and they’re on their way to dinner and she says “You do realize that if this is gonna work you have to shave that off right?” He didn’t say anything, just turned around and dropped her back off at her house
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
Good for him. If she was willing to make unreasonable demands before the first date even got under way, she was NOT a keeper.
#10
We chatted online. At the time I was a smoker and told him. He said no big deal because he smokes too. Decided to meet up at Starbucks for coffee. First thing he said, "hi. By the way when I said I smoke, I was talking about meth."
I said "oh, bye". And turned around and left.
#11
Great chats online, decided to meet in person.
He's got a blue tooth headset with a little LED light that shows it's on. He keeps it on during drinks. I work up the nerve to ask if he can take off the headset while we're eating dinner.
With pride and complete confidence he says, "Don't worry! You totally have my full attention. This isn't a phone headset, it's a camera."
#12
I had invited a guy off a dating site to my house. When I opened the door, he said he could kill me if he wanted, and to never meet anyone off the internet again.
My two male roommates were in the kitchen because they knew this guy was coming, and heard him. They ran him out of the house pdq
#13
He was 45 minutes late picking me up (weather was quite poor so I gave him a pass)
Get to the coffee shop, take off my jacket and immediately he says, “I see you brought your A game, or should I say, D game “ referring to my breasts. (I’m surprisingly busty for my frame)
Even the people 2 tables over just stopped and looked at him.
#14
He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to be so confident. Like what??? I was shocked but the server came to my rescue and was like girl get outta here no charge for your drink!
#15
I had to pick him up and he complained about everything. My car, the way I drove, my music taste, why was I being so quiet while carefully plotting my escape plan. Definitely the moment he said “My friends really want to meet you. I need them to know you’re real.” Annnnnnndddddd that’s when I bounced.
#16
Date one - seemed nice so invited him in for literal coffee... attempted rape, I broke his nose.
He texted the next day to ask if we could pick up where we left off.
He was a doctor in a women's psychiatric unit, and he knew where I lived. I moved 4 weeks later.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
So where is the part where she called the police and his work and got him arrested and fired? Or did she just care for her own safety?
#17
Blind date set up by my GRANDPARENTS. I love my grandad and he’s done so much for me so I went. We met at a bar where my best friend worked. We get drinks and I’m talking to my friend. He says “this homo trying to hook up with you?” 1. He’s not gay 2. It wouldn’t matter if he was 3. He was just checking in on me.
So I’m already done with him at this point but my ride is still over an hour away. His mate shows up at one point and starts trying to flirt with me. It was gross. My date then starts asking about “my hot friends” and if I can get them to come out. I said “I like my friends so… no” He starts being racist against Pacific Islanders. And was horribly rude to this German guy there drinking. when my ride gets there I said “I’m leaving.” He said “I’ve got a big d**k, you should come home with me” I said “thanks but I’d rather gouge out my eyes”
The next day he messaged me and said “you probably think I’m a bit of a c**t after last night but do you want to go out again” I had no intentions of ever seeing him again so I explained why his behaviour was unacceptable and suggested he try making friends who are girls so he sees them as something other than a hole to stick his d**k in.
I told my grandparents everything. They told his parents and apparently his dad was super embarrassed.
My grandparents were then informed to stay out of my love life and any time they brought it up I just say “I’ve got a big d**k, you should come home with me”
#18
She wouldn't stop making fun of me. She was 26 and I was 36 (though if it matters, we were at the same place in our careers/income) and she kept making ageist jokes about how I was old and decrepit. Eventually, after telling her pretty directly to lay off, I just said "you know, I'm not enjoying this, I'm going to go," and paid for the table and left.
Later she said it was because she was overcompensating because she was self-conscious about how much younger she was, but that just means that when she's uncomfortable she goes straight to demeaning the other person.
#19
I had a first date with a girl who told me, "Actually I'm engaged but I'm not 100% sure if he's the right one. So I'm going to go out on a few dates to see if I change my mind."
Check please!
#20
She had 22 cats and would just randomly take in strays. Not give them any vet care and was planning on keeping a recent litter. I love cats... I paid the bartender when she went to the bathroom and hyper walked to the door. Forwarded her contact info and a summary of what she told me to the humane society.
#21
First date we are at a Japanese restaurant. She asked me my star sign, I replied "Scorpio". She leaned over the table and slapped me clean & hard across the face. Naturally I was shocked and confused, I mouthed "What...?", she firmly says "I NEVER date Scorpios". I went to the bathroom, came back - she had gone, and paid for everything.
Happy_Pandalover 3 years ago (edited)
that‘s weird. but she paid for everything :). Somehow i find that story amusing. (Her slapping him is a No Go of course. Please don‘t take me wrong. I just find the circumstances amusing because it‘s so absurd.)
#22
He was a friend of a friend. He went to a restaurant and ordered our food. While we waited he started to say things like “First I’ll eat this meal then I’ll eat you out”. I laughed cause I thought he’s just joking. I thought he’s just nervous and his mouth lost his filter.
Then when the waitress later asked if we want more to drink he was like “Yes, bring us something strong” I said not for me and that i have to drive later and just want a coke and he looked at me and was like “Don’t be stupid. You think I’ll f**k you once and let you leave? You’ll at least stay the night” The waitress looked at me with wide eyes like im crazy for even being there. After she left I told him that he has to stop with this that it was rude and that we’re on our first date.
He apologized and for 10 min it was okay. Then, as if a switch was turned on he said just like that (mid sentence without even ending his previous story) “You know what, I can’t control myself anymore. Either we go now or I’ll f**k you on this table” I told him I’ll go to the bathroom. He complained like a baby that we have to go now. I went anyway and went to the waitress, payed for the food and left without a word.
#23
First date. Went bowling, turned around and he was going through my phone. A little soon, I think....
#24
We met at the restaurant, I had arrived first to get a table, the server showed her over, we shook hands, I pushed her chair in. The server asked if we would like a drink or to hear the specials. She picked up the menu, asked the server for a wine list without even looking at them, looked intently at me and said "how much money do you make?" I said "excuse me?" In a confused tone somewhat taken aback. She stared at me and said very slowly and deliberately "how much money do you make in a year?" I looked over at the server who was still standing there with a really awkward look on their face, thanked them for their assistance so far. Turned to my "date" and said I was sorry but I had to leave, and I got up and walked out.
#25
He brought two friends along which was unexpected. They were all drunk. I flagged down a waitress while one guy left to go do something. I ordered my food, the other two confessed they'd already eaten. Third guy walks back in to the restaurant, dripping blood from a horrific gash in his arm. In shock, I ran to my car & grabbed my first aid kit, cleaned & butterflied the wound, bandaged it, had the guy elevate his arm while the waitress called 911. Got cleaned up, returned to find the un-injured guys had just eaten my food. Grabbed my kit & my purse and walked out.
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
You deserve an award for behaving this calm and considerate, what an absolute nightmare.
#26
Went to meet a guy for the first time at his house. There was a pile of toenail clippings on his coffee table. And it wasn’t one recent clipping. It was like, many clippings. Out the door I went.
#27
He invited me and a friend to play dodgeball with a group of folks I’ve never met. We’re having an ok time, he’s paying more attention to his friends but that’s fine because I’ve got my friend to keep me occupied. We’re hanging out in the parking lot before the first game is about to start when out of nowhere he grabs a ball and throws it at my crotch as hard as he can. This motherf**ker screams “wham, bam, right in the clam!”
I immediately turn to my friend and ask her if she’s ready to leave. I say goodbye to him and his friends. Immediately come home to a grip of texts about how “immature” I was behaving.
#28
She finally let it slip that she had a bf lol "but it was totally fine bc things had been going bad for a long time and she was going to break up with him." My thoughts were that if she would do that to him she'd do it to me. No thanks.
#29
When he asked me to change my clothes because they were not sexy enough and told me what I had to order for food… he ended the date by talking about his gun collection…
#30
Went first for a walk, he did not shut up for a like minute for one hour, complains about everything and everyone in his life, not even ask nor allow me to give a comment.
Set down, he orders food for me, without even asking; get's his drink, bartender mentions the caps are difficult to open, but he arrogantly and rudely brushes him off, tries to open them himself but ends up spilling juice all over himself. Yells like it was the staff's fault and how the country he is from is superior. No regard for people, just yelling. At that point, I wanted to get under the table because that was actually a restaurant I frequently visit (from a small town with just a handful of restaurants). Continues to talk about how superior and above all that "incompetence" he is, and when he becomes manager, he would fire people like that. Continues with complaints for another hour.
I offer to split the check considering that he talked about money issues and because I obviously did not want to see him ever again so did not want to feel like I "owe" him anything. He yells at me, I leave the money on the table, walk-off. He basically continues yelling at stuff for going after check again with the "in my country" talk about how they have it on the spot. Grabs my hand and says angrily to wait for him. Asked me literally 2 questions finally, I say I will grab a taxi but he forcefully insists to walk me home. To avoid him making another scene, I accept.
We walk in silence, I try to have him off and leave, he insists to follow me home how there are probably some "dangerous" people around, he tried to force himself on me on my front door (the one of the yard, fence or how it is called), even though I said I don't think it will work. Exact words, "you owe it to me, we went on a date, I did not waste my money for nothing". I literally pushed him off (he was skinnier) and threw another 20$ (besides the ones I already left for my meal in the restaurant) at his face, saying "here, we are done", got instantly in the yard, locked the fence, while hearing him yell, and sent him a text that I will call the police if he does not get the f**k out of there. He left.
The worst part is, his aunt was our neighbor, my mom knew his mom and were good friends, and the next day, on my way out she literally had the audacity to ask "how did it all went" (I am pretty sure she heard him screaming awful things since literally, their house is like 10m from mine, across the street, literally) and I told her just "you should have raised him better". They never spoke to me again. I am absolutely fine with that.
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
F**k politeness, if someone makes you that uncomfortable, leave. Your security trumps his discomfort. What a douchebag, glad you could escape.
#31
She looked over my shoulder and said, “Oh, my other date is here.”
#32
Guy wanted to meet a place I use to work at, I showed up and he was already there. I order vodka and we're glaring into the menu while his shots arrive and he's just pounding them. Base bartender is giving the stinkeye, I know him so I'm like WTF. The date steps out for the bathroom or vape and the bartender beelines to my table to warn me this guy is a raging alcoholic that "f**ked around" with his cousin a few months back. I noped right out of there.
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
What I get from most of the stories here is that bar and wait staff are the real heroes.
#33
I sat down across from him and within 5 mins of meeting me he tried to slide his hand up my dress under the table. Yikes.
#34
I met a girl in small bookstore, we seemed to hit it off so I asked her out. She took me to a nearby ATM to get some cash for dinner and she and her partner tries to rob me. They had been having some success with the setup over the summer, so the SFPD was watching ATMs in the area and arrested them both.
I spent the night at the police station being interviewed and writing my statement; No dinner, no first date sex, and the shop sold the book I wanted.
#35
Blind date - she took to a fetish party - asked me if i wanted to pee on a guy with her- told her no thanks I'll use the urinal this time and split.
Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
I'll admit - there was a point in my life when I would've thought "Oh, she's interesting..."
#36
The first time I dated someone from Tinder, the date turned out to be a recruiting event for one of those Costa Coffee pyramid scams.
Apparently the guy was missing his quota so he used Tinder as a recruiting tool. Unfortunately for him, I realized quickly what it was and left ASAP. F**k that guy.
K. Anderson 3 years ago (edited)
It multi level marketing- pyramid schemes are illegal 😂😂 this is a famous line all period schemes use
#37
When I realized she was trying to get her ex get jealous of me. She chose the place and time and it was where her ex worked at that time.
Left and apologized to the ex.
Later she texted me saying that she'd forgive me for the faux pas if went to another date-she still picked the same time and place. I ghosted her.
#38
Walked into a guy’s house and heard his mom yell out “Guy, who the hell is that? I told you I didn’t want no more girls in here!” Turned around and walked out.
#39
On my very first date ever, I go to a movie with my girlfriend that I also had my first kiss with about a week earlier at a dance. She doesn't mention anything about this, but she ends up bringing her sister. Her IDENTICAL TWIN sister. I had no idea who was who all date long and didn't find a way to ask. She later tells my friend she thinks I am more into her sister than her.
Very awkward. Much confused.
#40
A dude was under the impression that because I used an ice cream cone emoji I had consented to bathroom-at-bar-sex . I was like “hell no” and he looked at me like I told him I was a flat earther
What do you think ?
btaglln 3 years ago
During covid I had a date with a girl that I met online. We had great conversation. We went for a 2 hours walk but it didn't work, at least for me. But the point of non return was me talking about dogs (I love dogs) and she said "huh, I hate dogs, I just want to kick them when I see one".
NgatiDreadz 3 years ago
I once drove my cousin and his date to the movies and her door was on kiddie lock and she goes "oh somethings wrong with my door I can't open it" to which my cousin replies trying to be funny he has a dark sense of humour "nah I just set it to rape" I was like giving him the wtf bro are you serious look!? Needless to say I had to drop her straight home after that remark after she got out I quickly slapped the fool and gave him the run down
Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago
Hope he learned. There are topics you must NEVER joke about.
Load More Replies... btaglln 3 years ago
During covid I had a date with a girl that I met online. We had great conversation. We went for a 2 hours walk but it didn't work, at least for me. But the point of non return was me talking about dogs (I love dogs) and she said "huh, I hate dogs, I just want to kick them when I see one".
NgatiDreadz 3 years ago
I once drove my cousin and his date to the movies and her door was on kiddie lock and she goes "oh somethings wrong with my door I can't open it" to which my cousin replies trying to be funny he has a dark sense of humour "nah I just set it to rape" I was like giving him the wtf bro are you serious look!? Needless to say I had to drop her straight home after that remark after she got out I quickly slapped the fool and gave him the run down
Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago
Hope he learned. There are topics you must NEVER joke about.
Load More Replies...
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